The Plight of a Broken Diva
by AngstyCanadianGleek
Summary: AU of the third season: Quinn and Santana find Rachel Berry in the locker room bloody and beaten, Santana finds herself in a position she never expected to find herself but what happens when their feelings for each other change? Can Rachel heal from such a trauma? PezBerry. Includes Character bashing and non-violent mentions of rape and emotional aftermath. Warnings inside.
1. Found

**Trigger Warning: Includes past mentions of rape and rape associated injuries with NO graphic descriptions. **

**NOTE: If you or someone you know has been raped, encourage them to go to the hospital immediately and report the crime immediately; as hard as it might be it is the surest way to ensure the criminal is charged appropriately. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee **

**Rated T for implied rape and emotional reactions to rape. No descriptions of the act. Rating could change in the future due to sexual content of a romantic variety. **

**AU of the third season: Quinn and Santana find Rachel Berry in the locker room bloody and beaten, Santana finds herself in a position she never expected to find herself but what happens when their feelings for each other change? Can Rachel heal from such a trauma?**

**Includes character bashing. **

**Pezberry Romance. **

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Pain... More pain...

So much pain! How was it possible for one body to hurt so much? The sobs weren't helping but Rachel Berry was unable to stop her body from shaking as whimpers seemed to pour out of her with seizure-like intensity. She had used the very last of her strength to crawl away from where _it_ had happened and now she was curled up on the floor near a bench.

She was unconscious and she wanted to be unconscious again; the memories from what had just occurred were now flooding her brain, churning her stomach. She just wanted to lay in her ball and have the whole world just go away. She wanted to go to sleep and not wake up again; not in this like and certainly not in this body. She could still feel _his_ hands on her despite the fact that he was long gone and she could still feel the weight of his larger body against hers and she could still feel...

_NO! Stop it! Stop those thoughts now!_

Rachel curled tighter into herself, willing... no forcing herself to close her eyes and not picture _his_ face; His sick and twisted face clouded with sick pleasure and joy at her suffering; her screams had given him pleasure and she hated that she gave that to him but she was unable to stop herself from reacting. She felt ashamed about not just screaming but her bodies reactions... It made her sick! She hadn't enjoyed it, she knew she hadn't enjoyed it. She wanted him gone and away from her every second and yet she'd still... She'd still...

_No... don't think about it, Rachel. Just go to sleep. It's a dream! _

The cold floor underneath her naked frame made going to sleep impossible and the pain now coursing through her entire body made it harder for her to keep her eyes closed and go to sleep but she was sobbing too hard to move. Besides, when she got home, she was going to be alone anyway; what was the point in rushing home? There was nobody there.

"You'll always be my favourite slut."

The voice crawled back into her memory like a tidal wave and she moved for the first time since she'd been discarded onto the floor and succumbed to her horrible nausea into one of the nearby garbage bins.

She wasn't a slut. She couldn't be a slut. He was wrong; no matter how her body reacted, she wasn't a slut. She didn't want what _he_ had done to her. She knew that much. It was painful, it was embarrassing and so public. It was wrong and the reasoning behind it... It was all so very wrong but there was nothing she could have done to stop him and that was what hurt her the most.

When she finished, she collapsed into a heap on the floor again, once again breaking into weak sobs as she brought her knees against her bare chest and rocked herself; the muscles in her stomach ached horribly now and the bruises on her arms, legs and shoulder protested the movements but she couldn't bring herself to care. The pain kept her mind from focusing too hard on the past few minutes? Hours? Days? How long had she even been lying there?

She wanted to die right now instead of feeling the phantom sensations of his hands over her body and his...

Once again, she heaved her body up and threw her head into the garbage can as she felt slimy hands covering her body making her heave harder before her brain finally decided to stop the sensations for the moment. This nightmare had to end and it had to end soon. She couldn't keep up like this. Why was her body reacting like this? Did she have a concussion? She hadn't banged her head. She had a split lip and she knew her back was bleeding from _him_ raking his nails down her back and she was sure she was bleeding _elsewhere_ but she had not hit her head.

Once again, she weakly collapsed onto the floor, her body now warm from expelling her food once more and therefore the cold floor offered her relief but she still felt a chill in her bones. But she couldn't move, not anymore, and she wasn't entirely sure she wanted to move again.

She was about to try and go back to unconsciousness or at the very least clear her mind when she heard a door open; a sound that was followed by quick footsteps in her direction and cheerful giggles as whoever it was chatted away. Rachel, too weak to move but somehow her body still found the strength to let out a terrified whimper as the footsteps came closer.

The giggling stopped but footsteps paused for only a second before they seemed to speed up in what sounded like a run.

_No, please turn around. Leave me alone to die. Please. Just go away._

Rachel's silent cries seemed to be in vain because seconds later, two frames revealed themselves and both seemed to freeze in horror and fear at the site before them. Their gasps where audible and from where she was curled on the floor she could see their faces paling as the covered their mouths with their now trembling hands.

This was clearly the last site they expected to see and it was clear they were completely unprepared for it.

Rachel opened her mouth to speak, to tell them to leave but instead her body seemed content just sobbing loudly as the two Cheerios watched with shock and horror in their eyes. Rachel watched as Santana Lopez and Quinn Fabray just continued staring before the latina's mind seemed to jump into gear. She knew she had to act.

"Quinn, get a blanket from the back and a bottle of water," Santana demanded, startling the blonde from her thoughts. Quinn jumped slightly but took off in a shaky run in the opposite direction.

Rachel watched the exchange and felt herself shaking despite herself. She wanted them to go away. It was horrible being seen like this and she just wanted to disappear completely.

"Rachel, it's me; Santana Lopez, I'm going to help you, okay?" Santana spoke in a clear voice that held no panic despite the very clear panic in the latina's warm brown eyes. Rachel found herself shakily nodding at Santana's words. Her eyes were warm, soft and comforting. So comforting. But she still couldn't stop shaking.

Santana took a couple of steps closer, keeping her hands up and where Rachel could see them at all times and Rachel appreciated it. There was something comforting about being able to see where her hands were, despite the fact that she knew Santana wouldn't hurt her. At least not the way she had just been hurt and by the look in her eyes, Rachel knew the Latina was not about to start throwing insults. Santana for a second looked terrified but she kept it off her face.

When Quinn returned, she handed the blanket and the water bottle to Santana; Quinn's face was still pale and her eyes were wide but now her skin had taken on a green hue as well. She had clearly figured out what had happened and she wasn't handling it half as well as Santana. In fact, the sheen of sweat on the girl's forehead made Rachel wonder if she'd been sick herself.

"Quinn, go find some clothes for Rachel," Santana said again as she unwrapped the blanket. "Call an ambulance."

"NO! No ambulance!" Rachel cried, desperate to stay away from the hospital where they'd ask questions and want to... touch her and who knew what else they'd want to do. "Please, no! I cant... I can't... Please! No Santana!"

"No ambulance, Quinn. Not yet at least. But go find clothes, please. Rachel deserves to have _some_ dignity right now," Santana said, her voice once again filled with surprising warmth and calmness. Quinn bolted off, her footsteps were jerky and irregular compared to her usual smooth paced steps; Quinn was scared. Rachel didn't blame her and if she wasn't such a wreck, she would have tried to assure her but she was too stressed and scared to even come up with the words.

'Rachel, I'm going to wrap a blanket around you, okay. That's all I'm going to do; please try not to panic too much," Santana said, once again speaking slowly and carefully as she stepped towards Rachel, her hands visible as she draped the blanket out Rachel's naked frame. Immediately, Rachel felt herself flinch at the weight but she took a couple of shaky breaths and forced her body not to clench up entirely.

_This was Santana, not him. Santana wasn't going to hurt her, not like he did._

"Rachel, I'm going to help you sit up so I can cover the rest of you. The cold floor isn't good for you, especially if you go into shock," Santana said. She reached down and helped Rachel onto a bench and every time she made contact with Rachel or moved her, she announced it beforehand and it made her so grateful to the latina. Even with the announcement, she still tensed at the touches but hearing her voice was what kept the flashbacks at peace. But Santana was patient and took no offence to it as she worked. It was like she knew exactly what she was doing.

Once Rachel was sitting on the bench, she found her body having difficulty remaining seated and despite her best intentions, she found herself leaning against Santana. She felt Santana tense slightly, probably expecting Rachel to cry or scream, before she heard Santana announce that she was going to wrap an arm around Rachel. Rachel nodded and accepted the arm which pulled her closer the Santana. At first, she went rigid and was ready to fight off the touch but then she smelt Santana and her brain relaxed.

She smelt _nothing_ like him and her touch was _different_ than his. It was soft and assuring where he had been cruel and hateful; her scent brought comfort and something about the way Santana held her, made her feel safe and secure, if only for a few seconds. Safe enough that she couldn't bring herself to even care that she was naked and bruised. The latina muttered soft words into Rachel's ears until footsteps alerted her of Quinn's return. When Rachel tensed and desperately gripped at Santana's arm, the latina did not yell or curse; instead, she made a hushing sound and pulled Rachel a little bit closer while whispered assuring words into her ears.

When Quinn went to hand the clothes to Santana, she violently shook her head before the blonde could step any closer.

"Set them on the bench and head out; I don't think she can handle anyone else's presence right now," Santana said, softly as she used one hand to rub circles onto Rachel's arm but Rachel could feel her using her other hand to try and loosen Rachel's grip on her arm.

"This is like when happened to..."

"Yes. It's just like what happened to her. Tell Sue I won't be here today and if she has a problem... well, I honestly don't really give two fucks," Santana said with a humourless laugh. "But I'm going to get her out of here before the other girl's show up because that will be _way too much _for her to handle right now."

"Okay, Tana. I'll call you later. Rachel... I..." The blonde left, tears now spilling down her cheeks as she bolted from the locker room. Santana stayed still for a moment before she Rachel finally loosened her grip on her other arm.

"I'm going to help you get dressed, okay. I won't touch you unless I have to, okay?" Santana asked slowly once again, as she stood up but keeping one strong arm on Rachel at all times to keep the brunette from sliding to the floor.

"Lift your arms," Santana said, lifting the blanket from Rachel's shoulder. "I'm going to check of serious bruises or cuts that could be potentially serious as I help you dress."

Santana looked at the bruises on Rachel's stomach, arms and shoulder, she looked at her back and arms and legs before she slid a shirt onto Rachel. The shorts were the hardest because they envolved Rachel standing up and once she did, she blushed when she realised she was still bleeding from below. Santana sighed sadly.

"You... you were a virgin," Santana stated simply, knowing the answer but Rachel's nod just made her sigh sadly once again as she pulled Rachel into an embrace as she began sobbing once more.

"I am so sorry you had to lose it like this. I promise I will make them pay for what they stole from you today," Santana said softly into Rachel's hair as she sobbed her heart out, breathing in Santana's comforting scent to keep herself grounding in the knowledge that she was not being held by _him. _"Do you want me to take you home now? Your fathers can..."

"They're not home; they won't be home for three maybe even four weeks... Maybe longer if things continued at this pace. They're in Africa helping with the Ebola outbreak and they just left yesterday and they're unreachable. I can't be alone, I'll stay here," Rachel sobbed into Santana's neck. They couldn't be reached in Africa and even if they could be reached, they would have to endure a month-long quarantine period before they could even be allowed to get on the plane to American soil. And it made complete and total sense. They couldn't risk them bringing such a fatal virus back to the states. Her fathers were part of Doctors without borders and even though they hadn't done international cases since Rachel was born, this outbreak was bad and they'd been assigned the case with their specific knowledge in disease control and prevention.

"Okay, I know where I can take you. But I'm going to pick you up, okay?"

Suddenly, Rachel felt hands under her knees before she could no longer feel the ground under her feet, making her realise Santana was now carrying her bridal style through the empty hallways. Glancing at a clock, Rachel realised it was five o'clock in the morning.

"What are you two doing here so early?"

"We were on prep duty for today's practice. That involves filling the water bottles, washing and drying the towels, ironing the uniforms and applying extra wax to the floor so it's trickier to stay standing; the slipperier the better," Santana said as she made her way out the door towards her car.

"But won't you slip?"

"That's why Sue does it that way, so we learn to do routines on slippery conditions. Once winter comes, we do them on the ice," Santana said. "You've never heard of a cheerio slipping and falling during a routine, have you?"

Once Rachel was securely fastened into the car, she leaned against the window and did her best not to sob; every muscle in her body was against her sobbing. And she just wished she could stop crying because this response did not make sense to her. She did not cry, at least not this much, to anything. And now, she was crying every five minutes. Maybe once she got some rest, her mind would clear and she'd stop acting like such a wimp. She felt a blanket around her shoulders before the car purred to life.

She must have fallen asleep because when she opened her eyes, she found she was being lifted from her seat and into Santana's strong arms; how did the girl manage to get so strong that she could just lift her up and carry her like she was a baby?

"It's okay, just relax. We're at my house, I'm going to take you to my room, okay?" Santana whispered as she carried Rachel into a large house and up a flight of stairs. There was no strain in the latina's eyes but Rachel still felt bad for Santana having to bear all of her weight.

"If I'm too heavy, I can..."

"Rachel, don't even finish that sentence; I throw girls heavier than you into the air on a daily bases. Coach Sylvester also makes us run a kilometre while carrying each other just like this at least every other day. I've got you, Berry."

Santana opened a colour which leads to a creme coloured room with blue accents, blankets and pictures. There were also pictures of Brittany, Quinn and Santana. There were also pictures of the glee club around the room too. There was a large TV sitting close to the bed with a DVD player and a digital box. Santana bypassed the bed and walked through a door into an adjoining bathroom.

She sat Rachel onto the toilet while she began filling the bathtub with warm and soapy water, once the water was where she liked it, she helped Rachel remove the gym shorts and massive t-shirt before helping the weak girl into the tub.

"I'm sorry, I know this is uncomfortable but I don't want the blood in my bed and I'm sure you don't want to lie in it," Santana said, guilt shining in her eyes. "Besides, the bath could make your muscles feel better."

Rachel found herself sobbing as she looked down and saw there was blood coming from... down there. It was so embarrassing because she knew it wasn't even close to her period. And now she was naked in front of Santana with all her bruises and scratches; she didn't want Santana to see how ugly her body was now. How ugly and _filthy._ She felt dirty and slimy and everywhere he had touched; it was like there were worms crawling over her skin. She didn't know it was possible to be so disgusted and embarrassed by her own body.

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, I promise. I bled the first time too. It's normal," Santana said.

"You did?"

"Yeah," Santana said, biting back tears, probably not wanting Rachel to see her cry about this.

Santana helped Rachel wash up, while closer inspecting her slip lip and the large bite mark on her shoulder. Rachel shuddered and gagged when she remembered the moment he'd bit her. Once Rachel finished sobbing over that flashback and her hair was washed, Santana helped her into some of her old soft pyjamas and helped her into her bed. Rachel found herself oddly comforted by the smell of the girl and found herself nestling down as Santana tucked her under the thick comfortable blankets.

"Are you sure this is okay?" Rachel asked frowning. "I d-don't want to be a burden because I'm acting all nutso."

Santana sat down on the side of the bed and took Rachel's hand.

"I'm doing this because I want to and because I know it gets worse from here and you should not be alone right now," Santana said clearly speaking from experience. "You are not a burden and you're not acting nutso, either. Do you want some tea?"

"Yes, please. My stomach hurts from when I got sick," Rachel said frowning as she rubbed her stomach.

"You got sick?"

"In the locker room... Twice."

Santana frowned before she pulled Rachel into her arms once more in a gesture that comforted her deeply as she breathed in Santana's scent; a scent she had already begun associating with safety and comfort. And the fact that it was Santana's arms, even after what had happened, was enough to fill her with a bit of excitement. Santana suddenly stood up, making Rachel jump and left the room with a mission clear in her eyes. Rachel took advantage of the quiet to look around the room. It was nothing like she had expected Santana's room to look like. She felt really comfortable in the room.

When Santana returned, she had two steaming mugs in hand, she handed them both to Rachel before she crawled into the other side of the bed and took one of the mugs.

"It's ginger tea; it'll help soothe your stomach," Santana said sipping her own mug and Rachel sleepily followed her lead and just as she was about to fall asleep, she felt the mug being taken from between her fingers but she was far too gone to even wake up to investigate.


	2. Aftershocks

**Warning: deals with mentions of rape aftermath, emotional reactions and emotional distress but there are no graphic descriptions of injuries or the actual rape which is why I am confident in keeping the story rated T up to this point. If the rating changes, I will address the change at the top of the chapter. **

**Rating: T**

**Dedication: My sister-in-law**

**Edited by: Grammarly (Free editing software that works with the Fanfiction website and most web browsers.)**

**Remember: Your opinion matters. Speak up if you have any ideas for the story; I do take comments into consideration.**

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It was a loud, high pitched scream that brought Santana out of her deep sleep. She couldn't remember the last time she woke up so quickly and so violently and when she did, she could only stare around the room in disgruntled confusion for a few seconds before her mind registered the girl who was thrashing by her side as though she were fighting off an unknown person in her dreams. Tears were streaming down the diva's horror-filled face as she screamed for her attacker to leave her alone.

Heart racing furiously in her chest, she began shaking the brunette in hopes of bringing her out of her dream and after a few moments, Rachel shot into sitting position, sobbing and gasping for air as she frantically glanced around the room, no doubt, trying to figure out where she was or trying to locate some type of mysterious threat. Her face was pale and there was a bit of sweat glistening on her forehead and cheeks in the moonlight.

"Rachel, it's Santana," Santana said in a calm voice; she had learnt last year it was the surest way to bring someone down from one of these attacks and when Rachel turned and faced her with tear-filled eyes, she smiled a small smile. She'd been through this before and she had learnt from the mistakes she made the last time.

What Santana wasn't expecting was Rachel to throw her arms around her and begin sobbing into her neck but she recovered from her shock quick enough to embrace the girl and rub circles into her back. She could feel Rachel's entire body shaking from the intensity of her violent sobs as hot tears began dripping on her shoulder.

"He was at my house! He crawled in my window! He did it again in my bed! He... he... he..."

When Rachel's sobbing overpowered her words, Santana began murmuring into her ear; nothing important, just empty words to bring Rachel's attention away from the situation until she was calm enough to talk about it and now was certainly not the time. She thought about the times she had done this in the past and she frowned as she remembered that nothing she could say could actually calm this down and sometimes it was just best to let the person cry it out.

She remembered the last time she went through this, the mistakes she made in an attempt to comfort her friend and the things she had learnt and though Rachel was a different person entirely, the experience had left her a little more prepared to deal with such an event and she was glad to be able to help more than she felt like she had last time.

She'd learnt many things last time; she'd learnt not to enter a room unannounced, not to initiate physical contact unannounced, be careful with what questions are asked and how and other things she'd learnt from simply observing. But the most difficult thing was: no matter how careful you were, something could still cause a trigger. A breath released at the wrong second, a creek in the floorboard, a flash of a tv program or even the sound of a door opening. It was impossible to keep triggers away completely but she could still do her best.

"Do you want to talk about what happened last night?"

Rachel stared at Santana for a few seconds before she slowly nodded her head but her body seemed to tremble at the idea of revealing what happened.

"It's okay, Rach, we don't have to talk about it now," Santana said, slowly wrapping her arms tighter around the shaking girl. She was just relieved Rachel was open to the idea of possibly discussing it in the future so she could locate the beast that did this to her and kill him slowly; making him feel unimaginable pain, starting with his good for nothing dick.

"Please don't leave me," Rachel whispered, her voice small and broken compared to her usual loud and demanding tone. There was no confidence in her voice, just fear and Santana found herself actually wishing the diva was being her usual self, as annoying as that was, it was far less heartbreaking than the tone in her voice now which was laced with fear and terror. Fear of something she should never have experienced in a place that was supposed to be safe.

Santana was about to speak more when a beep notified her of a text from Quinn; Quinn and Brittany had their own text tones, so it was easy to tell it was her blonde friend texting her.

_Q: Coach Sylvester cancelled practice. One of the baby cheerios reported one of the showers was filled with blood and Sue cancelled practice until they figure out whose blood it is. Do you want me to tell her what happened?_

Santana sucked in a breath as she ran her hands through Rachel's damp matted hair. Rachel didn't want police involvement or to go to the hospital and she knew Sue would respect that simply because the woman would want to handle something like this in her unorthodox and most likely unlawful manner. Sue took this type of attack very personally, regardless of the victim and the person who did this would most likely find what Santana planned to be merciful in comparison.

_S: Tell her but make it clear we don't know details and we can't make Rachel tell us until she's ready. Can you plz pick up a Morning After pill and drop it off?_

The last part was a thought that crossed her mind and resulted in her blood turning cold with fear. Had the beast who did this used a condom? She certainly wasn't going to ask Rachel that question, especially not while she was shaking so violently against her in a way that broke her heart as she remembered just yesterday watching the little diva dance in Glee Club with such confidence as she fixed the whole room with a stare of confidence and pure joy. Would Rachel ever do that again? Would she ever be able to walk into the school without trembling in fear? Would she look her in the eyes as she complimented her singing while reminding her that she was still better in the same breath again? Santana would pay right now to have Rachel do that.

_Q: Kay. How is she?_

Rachel stirred in her arms when she heard the phone beep again but she didn't say anything but Santana felt her fingers clutching the back of her shirt a bit tighter as she nudged closer as though seeking warmth and protection from the Latina from the sound. Once again, she stared around the room for a few seconds as her breath evened out before she settled slightly and stilled in her arms.

_S: She's terrified. Can you blame her?_

As soon as she sent the text, she put the phone on vibrate so when Quinn responded, the phone wouldn't startle Rachel as much as it did earlier. But it didn't work well because when the phone buzzed without beeping, Rachel still stiffened and automatically looked around the room again as though before burying her face into Santana's shoulder and giving a soft, barely audible whimper. The Latina sighed and rubbed the diva's back as she picked up her cell and read Quinn's reply.

_Q: No. Coach Sylvester is livid; never seen her so mad. She's out for blood now. _

Santana would have laughed if the circumstances were different as she thought about the person would find himself in the coach's merciless hands. But as she held the trembling form of Rachel Berry, all she would think of was how even that would be too merciful because Sue could not actually kill him. No, Sue had ways of torturing people without leaving physical marks and she had special treatments for people like this. There were rumours floating around the Cheerios around just what the coach did to these people and the rumours including things like planting drugs to assigning endless detentions to hack the grading system to screw up their academic records.

"Santana?"

The voice instantly drew her away from her thoughts as she looked down into Rachel's wide, terrified eyes.

"I'm here," she whispered, her mind reeling viscously at the site of fear in Rachel's eyes; she had never before seen _fear_ in the diva's eyes before and to see it now seemed so wrong and foreign. This was a face that should not fear anything. And that was torn away from her. It made Santana want to murder someone to see the loud and confident girl so nervous and hesitant. It was heartbreaking.

"It hurts."

"What hurts?"

Seeing Rachel blush and look away with shame and regret in her eyes suddenly made Santana realise what the 'it' in question was and it must be really uncomfortable if she was actually vocalising her discomfort to her but there was nothing she could do to make that feel better. When Rachel began sobbing again, most likely from embarrassment over her confession, all Santana could do was rub her back. She knew that was an embarrassing confession to make so she decided to be casual about it, as though she's just admitted to having a sore elbow or a bruised knuckle.

"I know, I wish I could do something but there really isn't anything I can do. Would you like to try a warm bubble bath?" Santana asked, knowing it could help, especially if Rachel was still bleeding. When Rachel nodded, she carried her into the bathroom as she'd done earlier and filled the tub with a soothing bubble bath before helping Rachel settle into the water again. The bubbles covered her almost completely but there were still visible bruises on her throat, shoulders and face.

"I'm sorry, Santana. I don't know why I'm acting like this," Rachel said between tremors and shivers she tried to force her body to relax. "I'm being completely irrational but... I can't control it."

"It's normal after what you went through," Santana said, not wanting to tell Rachel how it was likely to get worse before it got better; why would she want to tell her something that would make her feel worse? "But I am not upset with you. I'm not going to ask for names but do I know who did this to you?"

Santana braced herself for Rachel to freak out but instead, the diva simply stiffened before letting out a terrified jerky nod which was accompanied by a strangled sob.

"Okay... That's all I want to know for now," she said as she took Rachel's hand and rubbing the back of it with her thumb. "Is this helping? The bath?"

"A bit. It stings a little but it doesn't... nevermind," Rachel broke off, her face now resembling a tomato as she realised what she was saying. Santana nodded and took a brush from beside the sink and began working it through Rachel's hair before she began speaking.

"I know it's uncomfortable but you need to tell me if it becomes unbearable so we can make sure there wasn't permanent damage done. Promise that you'll tell me if it gets to that point. I won't push you to get checked now but if you think there is something wrong, you need to tell me and I'll make sure they do whatever they can to make you comfortable."

The promise was now in the open for Rachel to take or leave; she meant every word, so when the diva gave a shaky nod, she was beyond relieved.

"I will."

Getting Rachel dressed this time was different because she was still weak and shaky but she was no longer dazed and unaware, at least not completely. Soon enough, she was tucked back into Santana's bed in a pair of fuzzy pyjamas. Santana grinned as she watched Rachel move her legs against the fabric as though she was thoroughly enjoying the feeling against her skin.

"Are you hungry?"

When Rachel shook her head, Santana frowned, it was just a little after lunch time and Rachel really should eat something but she didn't want to force anything into her, especially as she remembered how the diva had said she'd thrown up. She had to get something into Rachel's stomach because she needed nutrients, especially to help her fight her injuries.

"I'm going to make you a smoothie to drink," Santana said, thinking about adding protein powder to the mix so the diva could get the strength she needed and nutrients. As she went to leave though, she noticed Rachel trembling more and paling slightly most likely at the idea of being left alone in a foreign environment after such a traumatic ordeal. She remembered this part too.

"I'll bring you with me," she said, scooping the diva into her arms, noting once again just how light she was before she made her way down to the massive kitchen. As she prepared the smoothie, she watched as Rachel stared blankly at her hands. She sat with Rachel in the living room and watched as she drank the smoothie, looking for signs of nausea or any signs that the girl was about to vomit. Once the smoothie was gone, she put in a Disney movie for them to watch. Halfway through the movie, she noticed Rachel trembling again.

"Do you want a blanket?"

Rachel blinked in contemplation before letting out a very hesitant nod; she was still worried about being a burden. Going to the closet, she pulled a thick and colourful blanket out and went downstairs where she proceeded to drape the blanket around Rachel's shoulders.

"Will you... Can you please... I need... Hold me."

The last part was whispered so quietly that Santana almost missed it. Not quite but almost. She looked into Rachel's eyes and saw the need to be held was obvious and she felt her heart swell that she felt safe enough with her to make the request, regardless of how embarrassed she looked about the fact that it was even necessary.

She lifted part of the blanket and sat beside the shaking diva before pulling her into her arms. Rachel immediately nestled closer and the tremors seemed to drop drastically. By the time the movie was halfway through, Rachel was asleep with the head in Santana's lap while the latina ran the hands through her hair. The girl snored softly as Santana stared blankly at the DVD menu, deep in thought about everything that had happened. It wasn't until there was a knock on the door that she was brought out of her thoughts.

Rachel stirred but she simply nestled closer and continued to sleep.

"Come in," Santana whispered, knowing if it was Quinn that she'd know where the key was and would come in on her own. When she heard the lock click, she smiled sadly and when she saw Quinn standing in the doorway to the living room clutching a drugstore bag, she pointed to the table.

"She looks comfy," Quinn said, watching as Rachel gripped on to Santana's shirt and nestled even closer, her snores undisturbed but she tensed slightly upon hearing a voice; she was likely to wake up soon.

"It's the calmest she's been all day. You got the pills?"

"Yes. I got some strange looks at the pharmacy but they gave it to me. They told me there could be side effects; bleeding, vomiting, cramping and mood swings. They need to be taken within 72 hours but the sooner the better because according to the pharmacist, it doesn't take long for conception to occur. Did she say who it was?"

Shaking her head, Santana grabbed the remote and pressed play for the movie to start again when she felt Rachel moving again. She hoped the movie would lighten her fear but this did very little because when she woke up, she began lightly sobbing into her lap as Santana rubbed her back. Quinn stared awkwardly at the scene; she didn't handle these spells well the first time and it was clear she was still very uncomfortable around the emotional distress. But it was clear she still wanted to help.

"Quinn, can you get a glass of water?"

Quinn looked thankful for an excuse to bolt from the room as she dashed towards the kitchen. By the time she had returned, Rachel was sitting up but still nestled against Santana. The latina squirmed nervously as she picked up the bag and stared at the little blue box inside; she was going to have to bring up memories that were going to make the diva uncomfortable but it was necessary.

"Rachel, Quinn picked up some pills for you and I think you should take them," she said handing Rachel the bag and watched as realisation dawned in the diva's eyes which filled with tears. Clearly, pregnancy was not something that had entered her mind. Rachel nodded, tears spilling down her cheeks as she opened the box and popped both pills into her mouth before accepting the water that had been handed to her.

"Thank you, Quinn," Rachel said, as she buried her face into Santana's shoulder; the latina nodded towards the blonde as she snaked her arms around Rachel once more. Quinn didn't seem hurt about the fact that Rachel wouldn't meet her eyes; like Santana, she'd been through this before as well and she also knew what to expect and the things to avoid doing.

"Coach Sylvester?"

"On a warpath. She's going to check the camera footage this evening and see everyone who was in the school last night. I can assume by tomorrow that she'll know who did it," Quinn said, watching as Rachel nodded back into sleep and as Santana lowered the diva's head onto her lap. "I don't understand how you're so much better with this than me. I can't handle emotions but you; it comes naturally to you. Even the last time, you were so much stronger than I was."

"I wasn't stronger. It hurt like hell but I knew if I showed it, it would hurt _her_ and I know the same thing applies here," Santana explained, watching Quinn with a firm look on her face.

When Quinn left just before supper, Rachel was awake and watching the movie from Santana's lap, gripping the latina's hand tightly as she stared at the TV screen, clearly taken by the innocent colourful and untriggering images of Frozen and Tangled. By the time Santana carried the little diva back to her room, she was softly snoring again. Once Rachel was tucked under the covers, she went into the bathroom and took a shower. Tears dripped down her face as she thought about how two people in her life had been affected by something so disgusting and so heinous. How could anyone do something like that to these girls; destroy them like this? It wasn't right. The sound of the shower covered up the sound of her sobs as she cried for the two people in her life who'd had something ripped away from them so horribly.

She washed her hair and quickly threw on some pyjamas before she went back into her room where she found Rachel Berry thrashing, crying and tossing in her sleep. Occasionally sounds would escape her throat but it was as if the girl was muted in fear. This was so much more painful to witness than when she had been screaming and thrashing. This was worse because there was more raw pain visible on her face and though Santana had witnessed this phenomenon before, it still felt like a knife twisting in her gut.

She rushed forward and gently shook Rachel awake and soon enough, she found herself hold an armful of sobbing Rachel in her arms. She carefully situated them in a way that allowed her to lay down while Rachel sobbed into her chest.

Nightmares. They were the worst thing she had been through last time and she was coming to realise this was going to be the case here as well. She was thankful her presence alone seemed to put the girl at ease but somewhat confused. After everything she'd put Rachel through over the years, Rachel found comfort in her arms?

"It's okay, you're safe; he isn't here," Santana murmured softly as she stroked Rachel's hair. "I've got you and we have a good security system on the house. No one is getting in without us knowing."

"I wish I could stop crying," Rachel sobbed, burying her face deeper into Santana's chest, finding comfort in feeling the latina's heartbeat against her face. Santana once again bit back the surprise she felt and continues running her hands through the girl's hair and continued to whisper softly into her ear.

"You can't help it and that's fine," Santana explained, having been through this particular event as well.

Suddenly, Rachel's hands shoved her away and before she could react, Rachel had bolted into the bathroom and it wasn't until the sound of retching met her ears that she finally stood up and ran after the diva. She grabbed Rachel's hair and frowned as she realised Rachel hadn't hit the toilet the first time but ignored it as she rubbed circles onto her back as she brought up the very little she had consumed that day.

"I'm sorry!"

The fact that she managed to get out those words in between violent bouts of vomiting was almost impressive but it still hurt to know Rachel was guilty over something so out of her control. Besides, the room was still foreign and new to her, she wasn't surprised the diva had trouble locating the toilet with the urgency of being sick. She would never be upset. Sure, she wasn't _thrilled_ about it but she wasn't angry with Rachel.

"Shh, don't worry about it; I've dealt with worse," Santana said, rubbing the girls back until she finally stopped dry heaving. This was no doubt a side effect from the morning after pill or the trauma from today fully kicking in. She helped the diva to her feet and gave her a toothbrush so she could brush the taste away. When Rachel moved to clean up the floor, Santana refused to allow it.

"I need to clean up my mess."

"No, you are my guest; why don't you go lay down, I'll clean this and you... take this with you."

She handed Rachel a small bucket from under the sink and listened to make sure she actually heard the diva sink into the bed. She had just finished cleaning the mess when she heard the sound of gagging in the next room. She went in and found Rachel dry heaving into the bucket. She sighed and went downstairs to make some ginger tea for the girl and thankfully after a few sips, Rachel was content enough to drift off into a troubled sleep.

It was about four in the morning when she noticed that as Rachel slept, she inched closer and closer to Santana until she felt the girl wrap an arm around her. The girl was sleeping but obviously craving the contact, so Santana rolled over and drew the diva into her arms and she couldn't help but sigh contently as she responded by nestling her face back into her chest. For the first time that night, Rachel was still and sleeping soundly, her breath was warm but Santana found the contact brought her to ease as well. Whenever Santana moved away, the diva would toss and turn but the second she put her arms back around her, the girl would still and her breathing would even.

Who would have predicted that the girl who bullied her for so long would become her greatest source of comfort and security? At that moment, Santana would do anything to bring back the confident, annoying and loud diva because seeing Rachel like this was the most heartbreaking thing she had ever seen in her life.

"I'm going to help heal you, Rachel; I promise this."

* * *

**This chapter is dedicated to my sister-in-law who helped me write this. This story is loosely based around her experiences with rape and a lot of the things I've written are things she went through personally. **

**Please remember, if you have been raped that the first place you _should_ go it to the emergency room. Do not shower or bathe before arriving at the hospital because it washes away the evidence. And remember you are not alone. **

**Also, just because Rachel is reacting the way she is reacting it is important to remember not everyone reacts the same. Right now, Rachel is in the hardest part of dealing with the trauma. This first week is always the hardest because the brain doesn't know how to process the trauma and it instead pushes out excess emotion, fear and worry... to simplify it. **

**If you have any ideas for this story, go ahead and share them. I am also toying with the idea of pregnancy but I haven't made any concrete decisions yet and I am open to your opinions on where I should go with that. **

**Thank you for reading and I hope you're enjoying the story so far. **

**Laura and IamAwriterYAY thank you for your kind reviews. **


	3. Not A Date

**_So. Let me know in the comments if you want Rachel to become pregnant. I have the storyline worked out either way and the pregnancy adds more content. _**

**_Also, please don't hate me. I know Brittany is sweet and loving and the idea of something like this happening to her is horrible but it plays into the story and her strength and support are going to be very important to Rachel in the future as she begins to heal._**

**_AddyAddy: I agree with you 100% and thank you for your constructive criticism; I will take it into consideration._**

**_Annonomys Guests: You are correct with your guess on who the survivor is. And thank you for your kind words. My sister in law is in a good place now and even has a little bundle on the way :). She is doing very well._**

**_Remember: Every rape victim heals and reacts differently and engage and handle relationships post-rape differently. In Rachel's case, she is choosing to enter a relationship so her attacker doesn't win in taking it from her. She will take the relationship at her own pace but she isn't going to allow this to stop her from being with the person she wants to be with but not all victims are able to enter into a relationship so soon afterwards and that is fine too. My sister in law was able to enter a relationship quickly but others might not be able to. _**

**WARNINGS: Includes some more Post Traumatic emotions, implied homophobic slurs and mild threats of violence.**

**Please keep in mind that if you have been raped, seek medical attention _IMMEDIATELY_. Do not bathe and go straight to the emergency room. There are people there who will help and as uncomfortable as it is, it is the surest way to get the perpetrator gets caught and you get the help you need.**

**And on a positive note, this is the longest chapter I have written to date for a multi-chapter story. **

* * *

_Why am I here? How did I think this would be a good idea. This was a bad idea..._

Rachel stood outside of the school, clutching Santana's hand as tightly as she could before they walked into the school. The weekend had been... better than the first day at Santana's; she was still an emotional mess but at least she wasn't throwing up anymore. And yet Santana took it all with stride. She was there when Rachel was crying or screaming in her sleep. Santana had yet to have a full night's sleep but she didn't complain and held Rachel close after each nightmare and ran her fingers through her hair as she whispered soft, assuring words into her ear. She never stopped until she was sure Rachel was asleep.

They'd spent the weekend watching Disney movies and eating junk food; Rachel finding great comfort in being in Santana's presence and was happy to know Santana showed no problems being in Rachel's presence or helping her through her nightmares which never seemed to die in intensity.

"Rachel, if you want, we can turn around and go back home; we don't have to do this if you aren't ready," Santana insisted as she wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist before pulling the girl closer to her side. Rachel smiled, finding it nice that Santana was referring to her house as their home, despite the fact that Rachel would have to return to her own home eventually when her fathers did return.

"I can't run away forever because... it wouldn't be fair to you," Rachel said with a frown as she tightened her grip on Santana's hand.

The first place they were going was to see Coach Sylvester to give her an update and so she could see Rachel was okay with her own eyes; the woman had every right to want to check because there had been a fair amount of blood. Not a fatal or even life-threatening amount but enough that it was obviously not caused by a paper cut. And, as crazy as the woman could be sometimes, she knew a bad situation when it came up and always made sure all parties were being taken care of properly. She had no doubt that if Coach Sylvester thought Rachel wasn't in good hands that she wouldn't hesitate to take Rachel into her own care... Or possibly fly to Africa and drag her fathers back to America, ignoring the laws in regards to Ebola exposure.

Rachel glanced around at every person, fear tickling into her stomach as she unconsciously stepped closer to Santana, letting out a small whimper when a male student bumped into her as he rushed into the school. Rachel blushed when Santana glared fiercely at his back before tightening her grip on her trembling hand. She looked down at Rachel and her gaze was soft and gentle; something Rachel had only ever seen when she looked at Brittany only this expression was softer and it brought butterflies to her stomach.

Santana moved her thumb up and down the back of Rachel's hand as they made their way into Sue Sylvester's office. The stern woman was wearing her usual tracksuit and her face was intimidating as always but as soon as she saw Rachel and the nervous expression on her face, the woman's eyes filled with sympathy and deep understanding. Santana had been expecting this but Rachel seemed caught off guard to see a look that bordered compassion on the woman's face. It was an expression that seldom appeared. Sure, everyone had seen Santana's gentle smile but to see the look on the Coach's face seemed to be almost like a sign that the word was ending.

"Rachel, after observing the cameras from around the locker room, I believe I found who... hurt you... But I must ask that you confirm their identity before I take any type of action. I just want you to nod or shake your head when I say this name; I won't ask details and I won't ask anything else. There was only one person in the footage in that area except for Santana and Quinn."

Santana reached over and pulled the diva closer on Coach Sylvester's little sofa. Santana knew coach Sylvester well enough to know that the woman wasn't saying this without being 90% sure of what she was about to say and Santana had a rough idea what to expect when Rachel heard her rapist's name. She also wanted the girl in her arms to make it harder for her to murder him in the hallway or something equally rash and dumb. So she pulled Rachel the rest of the way onto her lap and smiled sadly as Rachel wrapped her arms around her neck and nuzzled close knowing what was going to come from Coach Sylvester's mouth.

"Rachel," Coach Sylvester said in a soft tone, which was alarming for both of the girls. "Did Finn Hudson do this to you?"

Rachel's body immediately tensed up in Santana's arms; so much that the latina actually wondered if it was possible for her to have injured herself. Rachel remained still for several minutes as flashback after flashback played before her eyes. Several moments later, the tiny diva jerked her head up and down before she dissolved into loud and violent sobs. Santana wrapped her arms around the girl and pulled the girl fully into her lap; the girl's weight was the only thing holding her down into the seat and the fact that her concern right now was getting Rachel through these violent sobs.

Santana glanced up to see Coach Sylvester sitting in her seat with a violent fire in her eyes and her fists clenched tightly. Finn Hudson was a dead man, or at least he was going to wish he was dead when Coach Sylvester was finished with him.

"I... I feel sick," Rachel blurted suddenly as she held one hand over her stomach and another over her mouth, causing both women to jump into action, getting a garbage tin to Rachel just on time. When Rachel was done, Coach Sylvester handed her a bottle of ginger ale and instructed her to take slow sips. She was used to dealing with vomit, especially during Cheerio practice when she pushed the girls too hard but this was different. She didn't tell Rachel to suck it up like she did the Cheerios and it was weird to see this side of the coach. To see her so... human. It was refreshing in an intimidating sort of way and it broke Santana's heart because of the reasoning behind it.

"Sandbags!" the coach shouted, making Santana glare slightly but she bit back her retorts so Rachel wouldn't have to hear any malice in her voice. "Streisand here seems comforted by your presence; you'll be responsible for seeing her to classes and glee practice. I don't feel comfortable with her walking around alone while he's still present in the school. Do not confront him and if he approaches you, call me immediately. For now, however, I think you should take Rachel home; I'll excuse you both for the day and I'll make the appropriate changes to your schedules this evening. Rachel, I hope you understand you did nothing wrong and this situation will be handled swiftly and mercilessly on your behalf."

Santana helped Rachel to her feet, placing her arms under her armpits to keep her supported and upright but when the girl's sobs became too intense for her to stand, Satana simply scooped the girl into her arms and out the gymnasium door. Rachel barely moved the entire drive back to Santana's house; it was clear the girl was trapped in terrifying flashbacks and was practically frozen in fear.

The girl didn't move for about ten minutes after arriving and when she did, she opened the car door and threw up in the driveway. Santana held the girl's hair from her face and helped her inside once she was finished. She helped Rachel into the bathroom and waited while Rachel brushed her teeth and changed into another pair of fuzzy pyjamas before tucking her back into her bed. She turned on the movie Frozen and laid down in bed beside Rachel; when she noticed Rachel hugging herself, she drew the girl into her arms and held her close until they both fell asleep to the sounds of Frozen.

When Santana woke up she noticed Rachel had turned in her sleep and her face was buried into Santana's chest; she could feel the little diva's breath against her chest and it felt nice. As Santana laid there and waited for Rachel to wake up, the impact from everything she had discovered that day hit her like a brick. Finn Hudson had raped Rachel! The All-American jock and 'good-boy' had done something utterly horrific and it made her feel sick; especially as she remembered her brief night with the boy. As she remembered the bruised and scratches on Rachel's body, she wondered how he managed to keep such violent tendencies from showing.

Rachel had just woke up when Santana's phone started beeping. Immediately, she felt her grip tighten as Rachel nuzzled closer to her.

_Q: Coach called an emergency meeting. Finn's being blacklisted... Does that mean what I think it does?_

Santana frowned down at Rachel but she knew Quinn deserved an answer so she could space herself from the beast until Coach Sylvester delt the final blow.

_S: Yes. It does._

_Q: Coach is going to give me your homework to bring to you._

_S: Are you okay?_

_Q: No. But I'll be fine. I'm glad I know._

Santana frowned. Quinn had dated Finn for a while, she could only imagine how hard it must be to hear that someone she had dated was capable of such a horrible thing. She could tell Quinn knew that what happened to Rachel could have so easily happened to her and that hurt. But, unlike Rachel, Quinn had a tougher exterior and though she might have gone through hell, Santana knew she'd have handled it smoother than Rachel... Probably in an unhealthy and dangerous manner but she'd had probably been less scared and more angry and violent. And Santana would have happily held Hudson's hands behind his back while Quinn violently assaulted him. Not that she'd wish such an assault on either of the girls.

Hell, he could have done it to _her_ when she had been alone with him in the hotel room; to think, she had allowed such a foul _beast_ to touch her body like that. For a moment, she had to swallow back her urge to vomit as Rachel began squirming in her arms. When she glanced down at her, she was a bit of distress and discomfort in Rachel's eyes.

"Rachel? Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"Santana, my bruises are aching; can I please take a bath?"

Santana frowned at how small Rachel's voice sounded and how timid she seemed to ask for something so simple and easy. She felt the rage boiling her blood again but unlike over the weekend, this time, she had a face to direct her rage towards. She was going to enjoy sitting back and watching him lose everything. She evened out her rage and helped Rachel into the bathroom before she created the mother of all bubble baths for Rachel. While the girl was soaking, she texted Quinn with details about what happened and Quinn filled her in about what had happened at school.

She discovered that Finn was going to be blacklisted from every sports team and group in the school; he was going to be at the bottom of the food chain. Even band-geeks and math losers were chucking big gulps at his face. The best part was, that was only the start of what she would do to him. He'd already been jumped twice by some of the jocks and he was apparently accused of cheating in three of his six classes putting him on academic probation with the promise of expulsion should any more accusations come forward. She heard the cafeteria staff were refusing to feed him, the janitor was leaving the slushy messes in front of his locker and he had received detention in every class he had had that day for reasons as simple as breathing too loud and coughing.

"Rachel, I'm going to go make supper; I'll bring you some dry toast and ginger tea, okay?"

Upon seeing Rachel nod as she ran her hand over one of her bruises, Santana went downstairs and started cooking some Spaghetti for herself and dry toast for Rachel with a little spaghetti in case she wanted to try a few bites. By the time she returned upstairs, Rachel was out of the tub and laying in her bed under the covers in thick, fluffy pyjamas; she couldn't help but smile at the how content and cute Rachel looked in the outfit. If it wasn't for the pain in her eyes and the tension in her posture, it would have been the cutest thing she had ever seen.

When the doorbell rang, Rachel tensed as she turned to look at Santana with wide panicked eyes.

"Come in, Quinn!"

A few minutes later, Quinn made her way upstairs and sat on the edge of the bed; Rachel was chewing on her toast and taking cautious bites of the spaghetti and Santana was sitting in the bed eating her own supper. She handed a couple of folders to Santana and the latina nodded happily before she gathered Rachel's plate and placed it on her dresser.

"Your new schedules are in there as well and the teachers have been informed of the changes," Quinn said as she watched Santana crawl back into the bed beside Rachel who was nodding off. It was clear that Rachel slept better with her close and if she had anything to say about it, Rachel was going to be kept as comfortable as possible.

"Thank you, Quinn. You should head out now; we're going to go to sleep now. Can you set the alarm and lock the door?"

"Sure. I hope I see you tomorrow," Quinn said knowing Rachel couldn't hear her but Santana nodded at the gesture before she herself nodded off to sleep.

Rachel only woke up once throughout the night from a nightmare but as soon as she curled deeper into Santana's arms, she slept peacefully and contently. Santana kissed the top of her head as she drifted to sleep, feeling comfort in Rachel's heartbeat so close to her own.

* * *

Arriving at the school left Rachel once again gripping Santana's hand; as they walked through the halls, her eyes fell on everyone who passed as her mind created threats that didn't really exist in people who weren't threatening at all. Locker doors seemed louder, the sounds of her peers laughing were daunting and seeing the boys as they came near her in passing made her flinch. Once they made it to their first class, Santana sat beside Rachel and took both of her hands so the diva would look at her.

"Promise me if you get overwhelmed that you will tell me; I will take you straight home," Santana said, looking into Rachel's eyes.

She spent the class holding Rachel's hand, ignoring the looks she was getting from Kurt and Blaine who were seated behind Rachel; they whispered about it but decided not to say anything to Rachel because they noticed how stiffly Rachel was sitting... And they also probably wanted to avoid getting on Santana's bad side. Clearly, Rachel was being protected by the Latina and they could tell bothering Rachel was a nice way to earn themselves a knuckle sandwich or a foot to the family jewels.

By lunchtime, Rachel was tense and jumpy from being around so many people, so Santana guided Rachel to the choir room where they could eat the lunches she packed in peace and quiet. Halfway to the choir room, someone stopped in front of them and laughed. Rachel stiffened when she heard the laugh and found herself wrapping an entire arm around Santana who returned the gesture and pulled the shaking girl behind her back while keeping her as close to her side. Rachel was positively trembling against her and she was gripping her shirt so tightly that it was certain she was gripping her skin as well.

"Well... well... well... Look at this... You've already landed Satan! You must be thrilled!" Finn Hudson said as he took a lock of Rachel's hair and moved it from her face in what appeared to be a caring gesture to anyone who couldn't see the evil gleam in his eyes. Santana shoved him away as Rachel curled into her side, hiding her face from sight as Finn let out an evil laugh... If Rachel wasn't clinging to her, she would be murdering the evil boy in front of her... Violently! Santana glared fiercely as she wrapped her arms around Rachel and held her as close as possible. "Clearly, I didn't screw you hard enough. But I suppose I should have expected as much; you two are nothing more than a pair of filthy d..."

"Mr Hudson! My office... now!"

Santana nearly sighed in relief when she saw coach Sylvester standing there with a ferocious glare on her face that seemed to make Finn pale and shrink back a tiny bit. Finally, after several seconds, he shot Rachel a look of twisted pleasure before he took off towards Coach Sylvester's office.

"See you in Glee, Rachel."

Santana was glad she had her arm already around Rachel, otherwise, she wouldn't have been able to hold her up when her knees gave out. She guided the girl to the nearest bathroom and sat down on the floor beside a toilet stall with the girl's head in her lap. After a few seconds of sitting motionless, Rachel let out a string of gut-wrenching and heartbreaking sobs that seemed to echo off the bathroom walls. The little diva sobbed so hard that the latina found herself shaking under the sheer force of her sobs.

"I saw what happened. Can I get you anything"

Santana glanced up from the diva who was still sobbing in her lap to find Brittany standing there with a look of concern and compassion in her eyes but it was the understanding that hurt the most. She remembered when she had gone through this with Brittany and to see Brittany standing there and willing to help her help Rachel made her heart soar. Brittany was Santana's best friend but it was their experience last year that had made them like sisters. People thought they were together, especially after Finn had outed her but they weren't; Santana had just been there for the blonde's roughest and darkest days.

"Ginger ale; she sometimes vomits when she gets like this."

As though it had been timed, Rachel stood up and locked herself into the stall before she began loudly vomiting.

"It was him; he did this to her, did he?" Brittany asked before she left the bathroom when Santana nodded, Brittany's face filled with rage for a second before it disappeared and she left to retrieve the ginger ale. When Rachel finished being sick, she opened the stall door and collapsed back into Santana's lap, unable to hold herself up any longer.

"Did I deserve it? I couldn't help what I did but did I deserve what he did to me?"

Santana stared down at Rachel, her voice was so empty and void of emotion that it caught her off guard; no matter how many times she had heard Brittany do the very same thing when it came to talking about her own horrors, to hear someone talk so emotionless and blank was unnerving.

"No Rachel; nothing you could ever do would warrant what he did to you. He is a monster and a disgusting human being!"

"I cheated on him."

"That doesn't matter."

"With a girl."

_What? This is new information. _Santana barely managed to hide the shock on her face; Rachel Berry, the straightest girl she knew just admitted she cheated on her boyfriend with a girl. Suddenly she remembered what Finn had just said in the hall about her and Rachel and how he should have screwed her harder.

It made sense now. Finnocence's precious little ego was wounded when she did whatever she did with a girl and probably came to a realisation that left Finn no hope in hell and he decided to take it upon himself to try and _fix her._ Oh, if she didn't already want to kill the jerk in cold blood she certainly did now. Outing her last year was one thing but _this_ was too far. This was hateful. This was bigoted. This was so wrong.

"I tried to break up with him and then he... he... I can't say it!"

With those words, Santana found herself rubbing the back of a sobbing Rachel Berry. When Brittany returned, she handed Santana the bottle and sat down on the counter, ready to help or offer support.

"Get Quinn, she needs to hear this," Santana growled, rubbing the girls back and helping her take slow sips of the ginger ale; helping Rachel through this was the only reason she hadn't killed Finn Hudson yet. And she knew if she did, she would end up in jail and who would help Rachel because the little diva didn't seem remotely comfortable with anyone but her.

"Rachel, did you tell him you were gay? Is that what happened?"

After a few seconds' she felt the diva nod into her lap and she felt her blood boil. She helped Rachel take a few more sips of Ginger Ale and continued rubbing her back as she let her mind process what she'd just learnt. When she heard Rachel start snoring softly, she felt relief that the girl was at peace for now and at the very least, she was relaxed enough to rest after being ill.

When Brittany and Quinn returned, Quinn stared at Rachel in shock. She hadn't seen Rachel nearly this bad since the day they had found her and clearly, it was a shock but there was the pain in her eyes; unmistakable pain.

"Quinn, Fi... _he_ did this to her because she had a fling with some desperate chick..." Santana stopped when she saw a look of offence at hearing Rachel's mystery woman being called 'some desperate chick' and suddenly another piece to the puzzle clicked. Why else would Quinn be offended unless... "It was you? You and Rachel?"

"Look, Santana, it was a one-night thing; she was confused and I was curious. It didn't mean anything; we made out for a few hours throughout the night. She's my friend, _just_ my friend. It was fun but I'm straight," Quinn said defensively. Santana wasn't sure she believed the straight part, having seen the girl check out other girls before but she knew this was not the time to discuss her friend's sexuality.

"You don't have to defend your actions to me, I was simply asking," Santana said, ignoring the green-eyed monster that seemed to be pounding angrily at her stomach.

"Oh... I thought. Never mind. You were saying?"

"Anyway, Finnocence decided he was going to try and fix her when she told him she was gay," Santana said, growling out the boy's name.

"I know; he was yelling about it, saying he could do whatever he wanted to her because he's her boyfriend and she's just a dyke and how it's your fault, Santana," Quinn said with an angry roll of her eyes. "He's been expelled. He actually tried to hit coach Sylvester; in front of the principal and his parents."

"The boy has lost his mind," Santana muttered, running her hands through Rachel's hair; how could someone be stupid enough to try and hit that woman. Heck, how could anyone be stupid enough to _think _about hitting that woman? Santana had experienced rage towards the crazy woman but she would never be crazy enough to follow through and hit her... She didn't want to _die. _"Look, I'm going to take her home; she's in no shape to be here right now."

Neither girl said anything as they watched Santana stand up with the sleeping girl cradled in her arms and walked out of the bathroom and to her car.

* * *

"Santana?"

When Rachel called, the girl immediately rushed from out of the bathroom where she appeared to be bushing out her wet hair.

"How long have we been here? We still have a few more classes," Rachel said watching as Santana chuckled.

"Classes ended an hour ago. Do you want to go in tomorrow? _He _won't be there, he's been expelled and I'm pretty sure he'll be arrested before the nights through," Santana sighed, holding the broken girl close to her chest as she let out a small sob at the implied mention of the boy who had hurt her so badly.

"I don't know... Today was... I don't know why I'm so scared. I don't like it."

"I know, we'll stay home tomorrow and go back Thursday, okay?"

Rachel frowned for a second, guilt shining in her eyes as she looked down at her hands. Santana cupped the girl's chin and pulled her head up so she was looking the Latina in her eyes.

"What's wrong, _mi Estrella?" _

Santana frowned to herself, wondering when she had decided to give the girl a nickname or refer to her as 'her star'.

"I feel like you're giving up so much for me and all I do is make more work for you. I appreciate everything you're doing but if I ever become overwhelming and overbearing..."

"No. That will never happen. If you were too much, I would have said so. I care about you and what happens to you and if I miss some school or practice; that's fine. My average won't suffer," Santana said. "But knowing I'm dragging you to school when you're hurting hurts me; especially if being there is the cause of your pain. Even if we both have to repeat the year, it'll be fine because pushing yourself for the sake of grades isn't a good idea and I won't let you do it. So tomorrow, we will stay home and rest; we'll go back to school on Thursday but only _if_ you feel up to it. The staff at the school knows what happened now, so I don't think you'll be disciplined for missing some classes."

"Okay, if you're sure..."

"I'm sure. Now... do you want to try and eat something?"

* * *

Wednesday morning came and went and soon it was lunchtime and Rachel was watching Santana dance around her room to a beautiful Spanish song. Obviously, the Latina was unaware Rachel was awake from her nap but seeing her dance was very beautiful and it was nice to see her friend so free and happy; it caused a warm, fuzzy feeling to travel through her belly as butterflies danced. The site made her heart swell and she could feel her face heating up as a smile lit up her face. Santana was just so beautiful and to see her dancing around so happily made Rachel feel happy and warm, despite the underlying negative emotions that always seemed present.

When Santana spun around and noticed Rachel watching her with a grin, she stopped dancing and gave Rachel a sheepish look as her own face went red when she realised Rachel had been watching her dance around.

"How long have you been watching?"

"Just a few minutes. That was beautiful."

"Oh please," Santana snorted as though what she had done was anything less than beautiful and fluid. "I've seen better on the movies my parents watch."

"Well, I thought it was beautiful. You're beautiful," Rachel said sternly, feeling comfortable as always when she was alone with Santana. "And it's not up for debate."

Santana flushed as Rachel reached over and sipped on her now cool ginger tea.

Rachel got up and went to the bathroom, she came back, she was dressed, her face was cleaned up, she was wearing a bit of make-up even and a nervous look on her face. Before Santana could ask what was going on, Rachel spoke.

"Hey, can we do something?" Rachel asked suddenly, watching as Santana's eyebrows shot up. "Can we go for a walk?"

* * *

Stepping outside had been nice and as Rachel clutched Santana's hand, she felt slightly at peace, even as people passed. She could feel herself watching them and making sure they didn't come any closer than they need to but with Santana's fingers around hers, she felt almost peaceful; almost normal. She didn't want to go engage with the people but she felt okay enough with their presence. In fact, she felt safer in general when Santana was around.

When she was alone, she felt terrified that Finn was going to be around every corner, despite how illogical that was and when she was around a lot of people, she worried he was hiding behind someone but when she was with Santana, she found her mind eased up and she felt safe. And when she was in Santana's arms, she felt warm and she could feel the gaping hole in her soul filling more and more with every touch.

She didn't know it was possible to feel so safe and comfortable around one person after what had happened to her and yet here she was. As they walked around the block, they talked about Glee and what Rachel wanted to sing for everyone when she returned. They talked about what they were going to tell everyone and they decided they were just going to tell everyone that Rachel had been sick, which wasn't technically a lie because she had thrown up a few times that week.

Santana's neighbourhood was suburban but it wasn't filled with identical houses. There were beautiful lawns, small little parks for the children to play, a bike lane and a duck pond. It was a beautiful neighbourhood filled with bright colours, flowers and beautiful homes. It was similar to Rachel's own neighbourhood except there was something about Santana's presence made it more beautiful. But she had always had that effect on Rachel.

"Tomorrow, promise you'll tell me if you need to go home. I meant it when I said I don't care if I flunk the entire year; it'd just be one more year before I have to go off into the real world," Santana said. "Besides, I don't want to have to deal with college applications any sooner than necessary."

"I will, I promise but you need to promise to tell me if I'm ever acting too clingy and babyish," Rachel insisted, looking into Santana's brown eyes, finding her face heating as she looked deeper into her eyes than she planned.

"It won't happen but I promise I'll tell you if it does," Santana said, kissing Rachel's forehead before she wrapped an arm around Rachel's shoulders and guided her back to her house with a wide grin on her face. The walk back to Santana's was nice, Rachel held onto the hand with their fingers intertwined and they talked about school and Rachel mentioned how her fathers were rarely ever home, so she was able to do almost anything she wanted. Considering the girl had turned out as well as she had just meant her fathers were very lucky. Santana's parents had been home off and on since Rachel arrived at the place and they were aware of the other girl's presence but they honestly didn't care what Santana did because they trusted her. Not that they had been home much; they were barely in the house a few hours before they had bashed out again.

"We should do this again," Rachel said happily.

"Oh, and what do I get in turn for such a walk?" Santana teased. "I am, after all, giving up my _valuable time."_

"My undying gratitude, of course," Rachel said as she kissed Santana's cheek and rested her head against her shoulder.

"Do you want anything special for supper tonight?" Santana asked Rachel.

"It's weird but lately I've been craving bacon for a few weeks. I think I'll have that if it's not too much work; if it is, I'm fine with whatever you're having," Rachel said, not wanting to put Santana by making inconvenient food requests when she was already doing so much for her and asking nothing in return. Honestly, at that moment, nothing was too inconvenient for her to do for Rachel. If Rachel asked her to hand grow her veggies and import chocolates from Belgium, she would do it without hesitating. Heck, she would _go to Belgium_ to pick up the chocolates for her.

They walked into Santana's house but she made no effort to move her arm from Rachel's shoulder. In fact, if anything, she drew Rachel in closer until Rachel could feel her warm breath against her ear.

"You know, bacon was what I was going to have, too," Santana said as she planted a kiss on Rachel's cheek, most likely feeling Rachel's heart racing against her side in response because she tightened her grip on Rachel's shoulder as their eyes met in a lingering gaze.

"I hope your hearts not racing because you're panicked," Santana said suddenly as she began worrying about whether Rachel was panicked or not but intrigued because the flush on Rachel's cheeks didn't indicate panic at all. It indicated...

"No. Not panicked," Rachel said, enjoying the feeling passing through her body when Santana kissed her cheek and her forehead.

"Does that mean you want me to do it again?"

"If you want," Rachel said slowly as she paused to glance into Santana's dark eyes and found they were watching her with a hopeful gleam. "In fact, you might even say I'd encourage it."

In response, Santana cupped Rachel's chin with her hand and placed a light kiss on Rachel's lips. Rachel brought her arms around Santana's neck and enjoyed a few small kisses before Santana started walking again.

"I could get used to that," Rachel sighed, gripping Santana's hand, finding her apprehension was slightly at ease as her lips buzzed from the kisses. "I hope you're okay that I might not be able to... move too fast. It might be a while before I'm comfortable... taking steps forward."

Yes, though her body might be screaming for her to pull Santana closer and let the kiss take them away, she knew she couldn't handle that kind of kiss at that moment.

"I know, I'd never push you to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. If we were to... date, I'd want you to promise to tell me if I ever do anything that makes you uncomfortable and I'll stop, no questions asked," Santana said, as she guided Rachel to the couch, careful not to break eye contact with her.

"I promise."

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Santana asked, wondering exactly when this had started. She knew Rachel felt safe and comfortable around her but these feelings obviously went beyond security and she wanted to make sure it wasn't a hero type crush where people have crushes on the people who save them or protect them.

"Santana, I've had a crush on you since the beginning of the year; _he_ didn't just find out about me making out with Quinn, in fact, he didn't find out about that until after he found out that I had a crush on you but he really freaked out about the gay part once I told him," Rachel said, looking into Santana's eyes which were a mix of awe towards Rachel and anger towards Finn. After a few minutes, she decided to go back to looking at Rachel with awe in her eyes.

"But is this what you want? To date me?" Santana asked again, holding her hand under Rachel's chin.

"I want nothing more," Rachel said leaning in and capturing the Latina's lips in a firm kiss which brought her arms around Rachel's neck. "I don't want him to take _this_ away from me. It's bad enough he haunts my dreams, my body and my mind, I will not let him have power over my relationships. I want to date you... If its what you want, of course."

"Okay, this changes things," Santana said, sounding almost breathless as she looked sweetly into Rachel's eyes and planted a kiss on Rachel's forehead. "Let's go eat and we can talk about this more over our plates of bacon and eggs?"

"Hey, I'm breaking veganism today, why go half way. Let's have sausage too," Rachel said giggling. "And I'll help make it."

They took their plates up to Santana's room and sat under the covers. Once they were snuggled together, they began eating, occasionally one would glace at the other and blush before leaning in and kissing the other's cheek. Rachel found herself enjoying leaning in and kissing Santana's cheek whenever she could, hoping she'd catch her at the right moment, miss and claim her lips instead.

"This progressed fast; first date and we're already in bed together," Rachel joked, watched as Santana choked slightly on her food. She patted the latina's shoulder and smirked once the girl calmed down. But Santana simply looked over to Rachel with a bewildered and slightly panicked look on her face.

"You had intended for that to be a _date_? Rachel! I was in sweats! I didn't even have any make-up on! My hair is a mess and I didn't even shower! No, that was _not_ our first date. If you want, it will be a pre-date before I take you to dinner Friday night," Santana said frowning as she remembered how cuddly and nice Rachel looked.

How had it flown over her head that Rachel had asked her out? Usually, she caught onto these things but here, Rachel had asked her on a date and she hadn't caught on or made an effort to look nice at all. No! Their first date was not going to be a walk around the block. She could do better than that. She _would_ do better than that. Rachel deserved much better than that. She deserved a trip to France with expensive chocolates and the finest food in the world... But since Rachel didn't have a passport and they had school, she would have to settle for taking her... girlfriend... on a date in Lima.

"So, that means no goodnight kiss?"

"Oh, no _mi __Estrella_, there will be goodnight kisses every night as long as you want them," Santana said, capturing the diva's lips one more time before they finished eating and Rachel drifted asleep in her arms, her face buried into her chest. Santana's mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. She couldn't believe Rachel had had a crush on her for so long but at the same time, it made sense. She'd seen her stare at her on more than one occasion and the girl would always blush and turn away. She felt so stupid that she hadn't figured it out sooner and worse, that Finnocence figured it out first. And here she was bragging about her gaydar but she missed that Rachel was not only gay but gay for her and that Quinn was apparently gay for Rachel... Quinn can say whatever she wants, she could see her best friend still had a crush on Rachel. It probably wasn't strong but either she'd had a thing for her in the past of had budding feelings now.

She felt almost guilty for going out with Rachel in regards to Quinn but she was going with Rachel's feelings and Quinn's eyes seemed to linger more towards Brittany than Rachel on most days. Rachel had most likely been an experiment but she knew Quinn was not straight as she claimed to be. She would help Quinn come to terms with her sexuality eventually but right now, her focus rested completely on Rachel.

Before Santana drifted to sleep with Rachel, she promised she would treat her like the queen she deserved to be treated like. With a final kiss to the diva's forehead, she drifted to sleep.

**I know it seems like she's moving fast but remember, every person recovers from these things at their own pace. Rachel liked Santana before she was hurt and now she is acting on it. I'm not saying it the _best_ time for a relationship however not everything that happens like this is ideal but this relationship is based on actual feelings. This is around the timeline my sister-in-law began her relationship with my sibling and they are still going strong after five years. **


	4. Girlfriend?

**AN/ This story is something that crossed my mind and I'm going to emphasize now that Rachel's recovery and reactions are common reactions to such circumstances but not everyone reacts the same way to such events. The pace at which she moves with Santana is also not to be expected from all people in this situation. I understand that some people are reluctant to pursue romantic partners while others may move on quicker. **

**Also, if you or someone you know has been raped, please encourage them to seek medical attention at a hospital so they can be examined. The justice system might not always be the best but putting in a report against the perpetrators puts something on their file so if they are convicted again it is often referred upon during the case and can sometimes make it easier for them to be sentenced again and harsher. **

**The way this situation is being handled in this story is how the characters are handling this. This does not mean they are handling it correctly but they are handling it the best way they know how and are trying to prevent any additional trauma to her and this is realistically how a lot of these things happen because the victim is usually too frightened to seek medical attention, especially once they consider the exam they would have to endure and the questions that would have to be answered.**

**Kmpcarter: Noah will be in the later chapters but right now I'm focusing on developing the dynamic between Rachel, Santana, Quinn and Brittany. I am planning on him being an important character later on.**

**AddyAddy: Lol, me too. And as for Quinn, well, you'll have to wait to see where that goes... I almost lost myself and spoiled her plot line... Not that it's not beginning to be revealed in this chapter but still, I'll give y'all a chance to read the chapter before I reveal it ;). **

**Guest: It's okay, I understand.**

**IamAWriterYay: Thank you for your support. It means a lot to me. **

**James: Thank you for your words. And yes, it was my intent to have Brittany and Rachel support each other because I think it's important for her to have someone who can help her in a way Santana can't. **

**Followers/Favourites: Thank you for following and favouriting. I hope you are enjoying the story. **

**Current rating: Still Rated T**

**I will not be including a court case in detail as my knowledge of the American judicial system and process is not very good because I do not live in America and I don't think I could accurately write about it and that is not what this story is about. Yes, he will be sentenced but Rachel is going to have enough on her plate without dealing with a lengthy trial. Also, her fathers will make appearances but they are not overly important characters in this story. No, they are not neglectful or abusive and I am not bashing the Berry men but they simply are not important to the story but they will play their parts soon enough but I am not bashing them. They're simply not present because they know Rachel is mature enough to not need constant parental figures and sure, it will bite them in the arse when they find out what happened, this is their belief.**

* * *

Rachel woke up with her arms still wrapped around Santana; as usual, they were on their sides and curled up close. Rachel smiled as she remembered yesterday; she had finally told Santana how she had felt about her and she was completely over the moon with herself. She finally got the girl she wanted. Sure, it was a little more complicated but she still got to wake up in her arms and kiss her whenever she pleased instead of just fantasizing about kissing those beautiful, thick lips. And for the first time in a while, she wasn't completely panicked. She was relatively calm and it was a very refreshing feeling.

Rachel smiled brightly as an idea crossed her mind. She cupped Santana's sleeping face with her hands and placed a few kisses on her girlfriend's lips until her brown eyes shot open before fixing Rachel with a wide grin and a small laugh as she cupped Rachel's face and planted a few kisses of her own on Rachel's grinning lips. It was not a frequent an occurrence as she would have liked to see Rachel so at ease and she was going to savour the moment for as long as it would last.

"I think I prefer this to my alarm clock any day," Santana said, returning another kiss, being careful to make sure Rachel was comfortable with what she was doing as she wound her fingers in her hair but she knew she was fine when she felt Rachel's fingers tangled up in her own hair as she allowed the kiss to deepen just a little bit.

"Good morning," Rachel muttered into Santana's lips, causing the Latina to chuckle slightly.

"Mm, good morning. Do you feel like breakfast?"

"Does this count?" Rachel said, kissing Santana's lips again, a little deeper this time rolling them so she was laying on top of Santana, pressing her down against the mattress with her hands cupping her cheeks.

"No, _mi __Estrella,_ I wish it did," Santana said laughing as she pulled Rachel out of bed finally. "We have school."

Rachel's face paled slightly as she clutched Santana's hand as nerves began shooting through her. Santana wrapped her arms around Rachel, not sure how a kiss would go over while Rachel was like this, instead she settled for rubbing her back and holding her close. It had taken her a while but she discovered when Rachel was panicking like this, she liked being able to breathe in her scent to calm down, so she learnt quickly to position her so her head was buried in the crook of her neck. She loved the feeling of _her girlfriend_ taking long deep breaths of _her scent_ to calm herself. It was brilliant to know that even something with such minimal effort could bring her such comfort

"Everything will be fine. I'll be right there, the whole time and you get to watch me at cheerio practice today," Santana said, watching as a blush fell upon Rachel's face as she began to visualize Santana bouncing around in her uniform. Santana couldn't help but chuckle at that.

"You just wanna see me in my skirt..."

"Maybe. Is it wrong to want to see my girlfriend dance around in a sinfully short skirt?" Rachel said with a blush as she boldly grabbed Santana's butt causing both of them to blush scarlet. Santana's eyes went wide at the boldness of the gesture, she hadn't expected anything so bold and forward and as much as she wanted to return the gesture, she wasn't sure how well it would go considering Rachel was still pale from her slight panic spell. "Especially when she possesses such succulent legs and a scrumptious backside."

It took a few deep breaths but she kept herself from moaning at Rachel's words, knowing where Rachel's eyes would be during Cheerio practice. But it was hearing Rachel call her her girlfriend out loud that caused her heart to leap with joy. It was the first time either of them had used that label out loud and if felt so _right_ to hear, even if neither of them had actually talked about their relationship and what they actually wanted to call each other. That was a discussion Santana wanted to save for later.

"Are we going to hide?"

"Hide? Hide where?" Santana asked before she realised what Rachel was asking and she frowned. She hadn't really considered this. "Do you want to be public?"

The idea was exhilarating and frightening. She had been out since the year before but Rachel was still perceived as being straight... Though Finnept screaming up and down the halls that Rachel was a dyke might have eliminated that particular perception, even though he didn't finish the word it was clear what he was about to say; she still wondered if Rachel was ready to be in a public relationship with a woman, especially considering everything she was going through. She worried it would get to her and make her stressed. Then Santana'd have to kick the ass of whoever made her diva stressed and uncomfortable and it would be a mess.

No, if they were going to be public, she wanted to make sure that was what the diva absolutely wanted. But for right now, Rachel did not need the emotional stress of dealing with some of the Lima Losers who would no doubt make their objections against their relationship known. She would hide their relationship for the sake of Rachel's comfort until she was sure her girlfriend could handle them but _now_ was not that time. She still flinched when people raised their voices or got too close; there was no way Rachel would handle the names or loud comments well at all.

"I don't know about shouting it from the rooftops and sending out a school-wide memo but I don't want to be your dirty secret either," Rachel said, unsure where she was going with this. Santana understood what Rachel was saying. She didn't want to be completely public but she didn't want to feel like Santana was ashamed of her either.

"Let's do what we're doing and maybe start by telling Quinn and Britt and maybe even the rest of Glee club," Santana said, seeing the colour return to Rachel's face, she went in to kiss Rachel's cheek and the girl moved so that she got her mouth instead. "Besides, we have already been seen holding hands and snuggling, so we can just keep doing that. As we get more intimate and serious, we'll consider telling more people."

"How about kisses? I like kissing you," Rachel said, making sure to demonstrate with a kiss, licking the bottom of Santana's lips and letting her tongue dance in her sexy girlfriend's mouth with pride; Santana, of course, did nothing to stop this until she noticed heard the grandfather clock chiming loudly.

"Mm, we need to get ready to go now. I have cheerio practice this morning," Santana said, sad that she had to pull away. "Though I do wish we could do that all day long."

By the time they were both dressed and ready to go, they were just on time to get to the school. Santana dropped Rachel into the gym with Brittany before going into the change room to drop her stuff. Brittany had a soft, comforting look on her face as she began talking to Rachel in a soft and assuring voice. She would have brought Rachel with her but she knew it wouldn't go over well to be back in that room. Heck, _she_ barely felt comfortable in there now, she could only imagine the panic attack that would occur if she were to drag Rachel in there. She watched as Rachel stood a little awkwardly beside Brittany but Brittany took no offence because she knew what Rachel was going through and was doing her best to keep Rachel calm and somewhat distracted.

Of course, Santana hadn't been able to stop herself from kissing Rachel before leaving. This earned her curious glances from both Quinn and Brittany; she was going to bombarded with questions once practice was over.

She went back out and found Rachel, Quinn and Brittany sitting on the bleachers, Rachel glancing around the room nervously whenever someone would laugh or talk too loud but Brittany would lean over and whisper to Rachel whenever this would happen and Rachel would nod before relaxing slightly. Santana took a seat beside Rachel and wrapped her arms around Rachel, who immediately leaned into the touch.

When Coach Sylvester came over, she told Rachel to stand with her and Becky while Santana practised; the woman had even given Rachel a letterman jacket like hers and a whistle so the other girls would take her seriously. It always amazed Santana just how the coach treated girls in Rachel's circumstances. She took the healing of these girls very seriously and Santana knew Rachel would be fine while she was practising because Coach Sylvester could handle any breakdowns that could result from anything. And seeing Rachel wearing her own letterman jacket was enough to bring a smile to her face.

While she did her practice, coach Sylvester showed Rachel how to yell at the girls, make them work harder and blow whistles in their faces when they didn't listen. She told Rachel it was therapeutic and would help her relieve tension and by the end of practice, Rachel did seem a little less tense, so maybe coach Sylvester wasn't entirely wrong. But it turns out, Rachel had been taking gymnastics since she was three and had actually been giving really good advice... Loudly... But still good advice. In fact, being put in a position of such authority seemed to bring back a sparkle into Rachel's eyes... And tears to the other Cheerios' eyes. A sparkle that somehow told Santana that she would get through this. Ironically, Rachel did not seem new to these actions, in fact, everyone seemed surprised to see her so authoritative and comfortable... Except for Brittany who didn't look at all surprised and was actually smiling at the sight of Rachel's vocal instructing.

Rachel had even begun making suggestions of things they could do to improve the routines and Sue found herself interested in the ideas. Rachel had even helped Becky to express some of her own ideas which were also really good. Together, Rachel and Becky seemed to come up with some wonderful ideas for the team . And Becky seemed so happy to have her ideas heard and considered.

Rachel waited with Coach Sylvester and Becky while Santana tidied up and when she returned to walk Rachel to class, she watched Coach Sylvester, Becky and Rachel make plans for the next practice; she didn't hear what the plans were, only that it involved tennis balls and rubber bands.

Santana smiled as Rachel fell into her arms and proceeded to kiss the top of her girlfriend's head. Rachel responded by pulling her mouth down to meet hers in a sweet kiss which Santana did nothing to stop because she was enjoying the girl's boldness; despite Coach Sylvester sitting right there.

"It's about time, you got with Sandbags! After watching you ogling her from a distance for long, I was wondering when you two would hook up!" Coach Sylvester said in her usual tone as though she were talking about a car tire change. "See you tomorrow Rachel. Keep the sweater on; I'll have more tomorrow. You and Becky are my co-assistants. It's your job to keep an eye on those lazy slugs and turn them into dancing slugs. Also, have Preggers go over some of the past competitions and routines with you and she'll show you how to make them cry; she's my most savage captain."

Walking through the halls before first class was just as tense as the last time they had done it because of how nervous Rachel was, especially if a boy unknowingly came to close to her but this time, Santana had her arm wrapped around her waist and was murmuring sweet nothings into her ear as they walked down the hall. This helped bring Rachel's attention away from how tense and nervous she was and brought her back to the present.

Though once in a while Santana could see in the Rachel's eyes that she wanted or needed a kiss, so she'd pull them somewhere private and happily accommodate to her girlfriend's desires whenever she could. She quickly discovered that Rachel was comfortable running her hands up Santana's back and clutching her butt and she was fine if Santana ran her hands up her back and sides but she wasn't ready to have her butt grabbed. She also learnt that Rachel was most comfortable giving french kisses than she was receiving.

Of course, this made sense. It was probably important for her to feel in control when they were intimate and she had no problem with that. She could tell what they did was enough to make Rachel happy and that was good enough and if they did overstep a boundary that made her uncomfortable, she made sure to immediately comfort Rachel so she'd know she was okay; this usually meant extra cuddles and soft gentle words which was fine with her because she loved cuddling Rachel.

Classes right up until lunch went great; Rachel made it through the morning, only needing to step out for air once and by lunchtime, though she was tense and nervous, she was doing really well. Still, Santana opted to spend lunch in the choir room with Rachel so they could be away from all the people and noise.

They sat down and ate the food Santana had packed while Rachel sat between Satana's legs, with the latina's Arms around her waist. Once the food was gone, they began kissing each other gently. It wasn't until the door opened and Kurt walked in that they as much as moved and even then they made no effort to separate; they simply stopped kissing. However, Rachel tensed at the boy's presence before she allowed herself to relax. Kurt was gay after all. Besides, she knew Santana could take him.

"You two look very cosy," Kurt said wiggling his eyebrows at the pair on the floor. "When did this happen?"

"Last night," Rachel answered, feeling Santana's lips on her cheek as the Latina kissed her cheek in several spots as though she was laying a claim to keep Kurt from trying anything; it was an amusing thought. It was cute that Santana was making it clear Rachel was hers.

"Listen, I heard what my _step brother _did and you'll be happy to know, he's been arrested because he confessed over and over to what he did. Rachel, I am so sorry! Had I known what a homophobic monster he was, I would have done something; said something," Kurt cried, his eyes filling with tears. Santana could see Rachel giving him sympathetic glances but she knew Rachel couldn't hug him like she wanted to because she wasn't ready for physical contact with anyone who wasn't Santana, so she stood up and did it for her.

At first, Kurt tensed, clearly unsure how to react to being hugged by Santana Lopez but didn't push her away... He was probably too stunned to push her away or scared she would hit him if he did. Santana didn't blame him either; she wasn't the hugging type and aside from Brittany, she'd only ever been witnessed hugging Rachel and even that caused a big stir.

"I'm hugging you because she can't. This hug is from Rachel," Santana clarified as she wrapped her arms around the boy briefly before sitting down with Rachel and smiling as she leaned against her, making it easier for her to wrap her arms around the diva's waist. Seeing Rachel smile at the gesture warmed her heart and made her heart flutter happily, especially when Rachel placed a kiss on her lips.

"Well, I'm glad she has you, Santana... As unexpected as that is. Rachel, if you ever want to talk to me about _anything_, you know where to find me," Kurt said, his face filled with emotion as he walked away, probably needing some time alone to deal with his emotions on everything. The usually well-composed boy looked tired, pale and the emotions in his eyes looked like they were weighing deeply on him. He was feeling responsible for what his _stepbrother _had done to his _best friend. _That was not okay with him; Kurt might be a diva and a terrible gossip but he was _loyal_ to those he called his friends and Finn had hurt his friend in an unthinkable and horrible way and that was not something he could ever accept. He felt _dirty_ for even sharing a roof with someone so evil.

By the time Glee club rolled around, Rachel was once again tense but excited to see her fellow Gleeks. Rachel sat beside Santana, still wearing her Cheerio new letterman jacket and whistle. Santana held Rachel's hand in her lap while she rubbed circles onto the girl's hand and spoke soft encouraging words to Rachel. William Schuester smiled when he was the two girls sitting in the classroom, obviously having noticed their absence all week and by now he probably knew the reasoning behind it.

He had no doubt heard what happened with Finn and both girls were appreciative of the fact that he didn't say anything that brought up any memories.

When Kurt walked in holding Blaine's hand, he gave Rachel and Santana a small wink before taking a seat on the other side of the room. Quinn and Brittany sat with the pair, being careful not to spook Rachel as they sat down. By the time the rest of Glee Club arrived, everyone was watching Rachel and Santana; Rachel was resting her head on Santana's shoulder and Santana was absentmindedly running her hand through Rachel's hair not even trying to hide the emotions in her eyes as she touched her girlfriend.

But nobody asked any questions to their face and gave Rachel space but it was clear they were all curious about Rachel and Santana's relationship. But it was also clear that Rachel was nervous and tense; seeing Rachel look so vulnerable and nervous was enough to stun almost everyone into silence.

But to see Santana snuggling her and Brittany whispering to her while Quinn stared down anyone who dared to look for too long; it was enough to bring the entire Glee club to almost complete silence. Besides, as scary as Quinn was, Santana was making it clear that anyone who spooked_ her_ diva was going to suffer a fate worse than death. So everyone gave them space and did their best to act as though there was nothing different at all.

One thing was clear, everyone in the room either seemed to know what happened or was really close to figuring it out. After all, Rachel started missing school and when she showed up she was tense, nervous, jumpy and emotional... Right around the same time, Finn was arrested and _total blacklisted_ and it was well known around the school that that was something that only ever happened for one reason.

It wasn't hard to piece together what had happened, especially once those who witnessed the conversation between Finn, Rachel and Santana in the hallway began speaking out. Thankfully they were all smart enough not to ask questions to Rachel and instead seemed to be turning to Kurt for answers but he seemed pretty tight-lipped on the matter. For Rachel, seeing the boy who loved to gossip showing reticence was like a strong show of solidarity and it was something she would remember and appreciate for a very long time. It was then that she knew she had a real and true friend in Kurt and that meant more to her than words could describe.

Rachel only sang a couple of times, not really feeling like singing alone, so she did a couple of duets with Santana, Kurt and Quinn and a song with the entire group before it was time to leave. Mr Schuester called them to his desk before they left and asked if Rachel was doing okay; he had been informed of what had happened as had all of Rachel's teachers upon Finn's arrest but so far Mr Schuester was the first to actually ask how Rachel was doing. Mostly because none of the other teachers wanted to risk upsetting her and therefore dealing with the emotional aftermath... And Santana's wrath because it was clear Santana would _hurt _anyone who upset Rachel, teacher or not.

"I'm doing fine. I don't know what I would have done without Santana. She's been amazing through everything and has been taking good care of me. I don't know how I'll ever repay her," Rachel said, as she happily squeezed Santana's hand. Santana responded by kissing Rachel's cheek and pulling her into a brief hug, bringing a sad smile to their teacher's face.

They left the choir room and headed to Santana's car, the drive to Santana's had been quicky and by the time arrived home, they were both in agreement that they were hungry enough to eat a horse. Rachel seemed to relax almost immediately upon entering Santana's house; there was still underlying nerves and she still woke up with nightmares sometimes but when she was alone with Santana, things were easier for her to bear. Her thoughts weren't as dark, she didn't see as many threats and she knew Santana could always make her feel better just by being there with her.

"I'll help with supper tonight," Rachel volunteered happily as they walked into the kitchen and helped Santana prepare their meal. They sat down at the table and began eating until the food was gone. Rachel's appetite was slowly returning and she was able to eat more each day as she recovered. She was better off then she was before but she was nowhere near as well as she had been before this whole mess started.

She was over the shock and the worst of the traumatic period but it would be a while before she truly felt comfortable and there was a chance that the flashbacks could last forever. It didn't help that she had to walk down the halls of the place the attack happened every single day, which is why Santana took her away from there whenever she was anxious.

"You don't have to... Repay me. I'm doing this stuff because I want to and because I care about you. You're my... Well, I think you're my girlfriend... But either way, you don't have to repay me for anything," Santana said, pulling Rachel into a nice long kiss. Rachel broke the kiss for a few seconds to look Santana in the eyes.

"I am. Your girlfriend. If that's what you want, that is. I know I've said it a few times but I never asked if that's what you wanted," Rachel said, suddenly feeling shy but her worry was put to rest by a pair of lips crashing into hers. As things got more heated, however, Rachel realised she had reached her limit when she felt a hand slide under her shirt causing a brief flashback and broke the kiss and Santana seemed to get the message immediately before she held Rachel in her arms and rubbed the diva's back.

"I'm sorry."

"I understand. It'll probably be a while before we can go much further and I'm _fine with that..._ Don't ever pressure yourself to do anything you're not comfortable with. If you need me to stop, tell me and I will... Immediately," Santana said, her voice firm as she stared into Rachel's eyes. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I love sex but I care about you more."

Santana smiled softly and began chopping up some strawberries and kiwi for dessert as she made her promise to Rachel.

"I just need to tell you because I don't know how I'll react at the moment but I need to tell you anyway. When he... I didn't want him. I swear, I wanted him to stop but I... I... I had a... I swear I didn't want..."

Santana gasped at what Rachel had just revealed and dropped what she was doing to wrap her now crying girlfriend into her arms. She'd known of people having orgasms while _that _happened, in fact, she knew it was something that had also happened to Britt as well. But despite having heard this confession once before, she still found herself caught off guard and upset by it.

Neither Rachel or Brittany had deserved to lose their virginity the way they had and their first orgasms from other people should have been a wonderful experience filled with hugs, cuddles, kisses and laughter. But she had to put that emotional reaction away because right now, Rachel looked ashamed and guilty for her own body's reactions to what had happened. It made Santana want to find Finn and murder him in cold blood. No, now she was going to focus on her diva and feeling her warm, soft body in her arms.

"It's a natural reaction to that kind of contact. Nobody thinks you wanted it. I know you didn't and _he_ knew you didn't. But I promise, if and when we do have sex, I will keep that in mind so I can be extra careful with you. If you ever need me to stop, I will. I don't care what we're doing, I'll stop," Santana said, rubbing Rachel's back soothingly. Santana knew this was going to make sex with Rachel complicated but she wasn't going to give up on her.

Rachel was too important for that and she was going to make sure Rachel was ready when and if they had sex; Rachel was going to know she was loved, cherished and cared for at that moment. It wouldn't be a quickie either, it was going to be magical and worth it for them both. No, it would not be something like a quickie between classes because they were horny. She deserved better than she got, so Santana was going to give her a chance to lose her virginity right. She knew it didn't work like that but to her, that's what it would be.

For now, her only worry was keeping Rachel happy, peaceful and hopefully keep the nightmares away. Holding the girl in her arms and seeing her smile as much as possible, whenever possible. Because she deserved all the happiness that could be offered to her.

"Santana, have I told you how lucky I am to have you?" Rachel sighed, burying her face into Santana's neck and breathing in her sweet perfume.

"Yes, you have but I enjoy hearing it," Santana said, rubbing Rachel's back and smiling when the diva practically purred in response.

Santana guided Rachel to the couch and pulled the diva into her lap where she turned on a movie and let Rachel nestle into her arms. When she noticed the diva had fallen asleep, she scooped her up and carries her to her room. Once she has her tucked in, she got herself ready and pulled the sleeping girl into her arms. Rachel immediately returned the embrace and unconsciously buries her face into Santana's chest.

"Mm... love ooh Santana."

The words filled her with joy, pride and excitement, despite the fact that her girlfriend was asleep. somehow, the words meant even more because they were completely unguarded and straight from her subconscious. It was how she _truly _felt.

"I love you, too, Rachel. One day, I'll say it while you're awake," Santana promised as she pulled Rachel even closer, feeling her heart swell with love.

* * *

Rachel opened her eyes and immediately climbed on top of Santana and began kissing her lips. Santana began kissing back before her eyes even opened. When they did open, it was only long enough to make sure it was actually Rachel straddling her before she closed her eyes, began rubbing Rachel's back and allowed herself to fall completely under the spell of her diva's kisses.

"Mm, I could get used to waking up like this," Santana murmured, looking into Rachel's lust filled eyes. She was most likely going to have to watch out and make sure she considered doing what Rachel was comfortable doing and not just what Rachel's hormones wanted her to do. Brittany had told her of a time when she wanted to go further with one of her boyfriends, only to be triggered by a flashback during the act. He'd been gentle and stopped as soon as Britt began panicking but seeing the look in Rachel's eyes made it clear she was going to have to be on guard during most of their intimate moments for a while.

"Good. Because I like waking you this way," Rachel said as she tucked some hair behind her ear and bent down to kiss Santana again.

Eventually, they got up and out of bed and soon enough, they were at Cheerio practice; Santana in her Cheerio uniform and Rachel in her varsity jacket and black and red pants.

"My parents are going away Friday night, can I stay with you Friday night?"

Cheerio practice had ended early and Santana and Rachel were snuggling in the stands while Brittany and Quinn sat quietly. Brittany's question didn't surprise Santana. Since Brittany's incident, she didn't like being left alone for long and when her parents were away, she stayed with Santana. Santana's parents were almost never home and she loved the company. Since Rachel was at Santana's house, her parents were only home from their jobs once. Her father was a high paid doctor at the hospital and her mother was a lawyer who specialised in high-end celebrity cases and there were a lot of them.

"I'll stay out of the way while you and Rachel get your lady kisses on," Brittany said with a cheeky grin.

"That's a good idea. Quinn? You should spend the night too. It'll be the four of us, junk food and movies?"

Quinn stared between the three girls before allowing her eyes to land on Brittany who gave the other blonde a puppy dog face and within seconds, any reluctance disappeared from the blonde's eyes and she nodded; her cheeks turning pink as a grin crawled across her face when Brittany squealed and began jumping up and down. Santana, however, eyed the blonde before a smirk lit up her face.

"B, I think Quinn needs a hug," Santana said with a smirk and as anticipated, the blonde happily ran at Quinn and threw her arms around the head cheerleader who squeaked slightly before returning the embrace. When Brittany kissed her cheek and stepped away, Quinn turned scarlet-faced but still grinning crookedly.

"Looks like someone has a crush on Britt Britt," Santana said once Brittany skipped into the change room. Brittany had hung back while Santana and Quinn changed to keep Rachel company. Rachel was still very uncomfortable being alone and even though Brittany wasn't Santana, the way she looked at Rachel with understanding in her eyes made her feel safe around the innocent blonde.

"Wha... No... I told you, I-I'm straight," Quinn said, but she sounded more like she was trying to convince herself than anything. "Remember when we made out, Rachel. Tell her."

"I... um... Well, you did want to take it further and we stopped because your parents came home... Remember," Rachel said, flushing as she remembered Quinn's hands working it's way up her skirt and feeling the dampness through her jeans as she straddled her thigh. Quinn's face had been red and her eyes had glowed with arousal. It was clear Quinn had been ready to go _all the way_ with her and at that moment, Rachel would have happily allowed her to because she herself was more turned on by Quinn than she had even been with Finn, Puck or Jesse. She wished she had have gone all the way with Quinn because it would have meant her virginity would have been taken by her instead of _stolen_ by Finn.

"R-right. I... um... Yeah," Quinn stammered, flushing redder as she clearly remembered the incident and when Brittany came back into the gym, Quinn's face lit up and glowed so red it looked like she was about to explode.

"I- I um... n-need to get showered," Quinn stammered, dashing into the locker room, leaving Rachel and Santana to smirk at each other.

"Didn't she already shower?" Brittany asked confused.

"Yes but now she's feeling a bit hot and needs to cool down," Santana said smirking.

Rachel couldn't help but let out a small laugh as she nestled herself closer to Santana and breathed in the smell of her girlfriend, wanting nothing more than to grab her and kiss her... So she did and Santana was happy to return the gesture as she gently cupped the back of Rachel's head with her hands and allowed the diva's tongue access to her mouth.

"You two are adorable," Brittany said, breaking them away from their kisses, Rachel's eyes were dark with lust and Santana's eyes were the same but she was also watching Rachel with concern, in case the diva was going to go into a panic. But the diva simply pecked Santana's lips and curled back into her arms, once again nestled against her neck. "I knew Rachel liked you since last year. I'm so happy because I knew you liked her too."

"So, what time will you be at the house tonight?" Rachel asked, playing with some of Santana's hair, causing the Latina to look warmly at Rachel and flush before she placed a kiss on the diva's cheek.

"Six o'clock. I'll get a ride with Quinn," Brittany said smiling and blushing lightly. "I kissed her. Then she kissed me."

Santana froze, her jaw dropped as Quinn's sudden and obvious reactions to Brittany began making sense. She had always thought that Quinn might have a thing for Brittany but today, her reactions were really visible and obvious. The way she was grinning all loopy when Brittany looked at her. It was as though she couldn't help but smile in the taller blonde's presence and Santana found it positively adorable. But she would not be caught saying something sweet about Quinn out loud...

"I always thought she might need help unpressing her lemon," Santana said with another smirk but Brittany only frowned at the comment.

"Why did she press a lemon?"

"She didn't, B. I'm just... Do you like her?"

Brittany nodded, her cheeks going pink and a small, dreamy smile was crossing her face.

"She'll be good for you, B. And if not, Auntie Tana will have words with her and her face," Santana said, smiling at Brittany who grinned and dashed from the gym.

Rachel was about to say something when her phone buzzed indicating that she had gotten a text message. She quickly glanced at her phone before she sighed and buried her face into Santana's shoulder sadly.

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

"My dad texted me. He and daddy are going to be gone another month... Possibly more. I responded but it wouldn't go through. I was hoping to talk to them about us and... me," Rachel explained sadly as she tried her best to fight tears that were already falling down her face as she failed to bite back the sounds of her own sobbing. She knew she was going to miss waking up in Tana's arms once they returned home but she had so much she needed to tell her fathers. Santana however just pulled Rachel closer and let her sob it out. Quinn thankfully was smart enough to realise that the two girls needed to be left alone so she left to go find Brittany. "San..."

"Come on, Rach. We're going home. We'll watch a movie and get our snuggle on," Santana said, pulling Rachel up and guiding her out to her car. "We'll snuggle until the girls get there."

Rachel looked ready to argue but decided not to because she really just needed to be held and Santana knew that; in the time they had spent together, Santana had come to know her really well and she knew when Rachel needed to be held. As soon as they got out to the car, Rachel pulled her in for a sweet and gentle kiss before Santana started the car and pulled out of the parking lot.

"Did you at least enjoy Cheerio practice?"

"As I said, I enjoy seeing you dance around in your skirt. It shows off your... figure... quite well and it's a pleasant view," Rachel said happily.

"That is a sweet way of saying you were staring at my ass," Santana said, giggling as Rachel blushed brightly before stammering for Santana to stop being so crass.

"But if you must know... though I'm not objectifying you and I find all of you to be stunning, I couldn't help but notice you were bending over more than usual today and... I didn't mind that view either," Rachel said blushing as she tried to delicately say she'd been looking up her girlfriend's skirt and her ass. Not staring but glancing. But it was the smirk she received from Santana that told her that had been her intention.

"Hey, my girl likes the view, I'm going to give it to her," Santana said as Rachel blushed redder as she remembered how many times she'd walked past Santana only for her girlfriend to start to touch her toes or bending over to pick up something Rachel couldn't see. "Do you want me to stop?"

"N-no, I liked it," Rachel stuttered out, remembering how much she's enjoyed the view but she loved watching Santana cheer in general. It made her happy to see her girlfriend so happy and not just because she got to view her... assets... She could tell Santana loved being part of the team and dancing and cheering. It brought an edge out in her that was so attractive and beautiful. She wasn't passionate about it like Brittany was but there was enthusiasm and a competitive edge in her eyes that just made her so... damn sexy! And when she took a leadership role with the other girls; it was almost enough to drive her crazy.

It also made her realise that the soft, sweet, caring Santana that was before her was something so few got to see and it made her feel so happy that her girlfriend trusted her enough to show that side to her. That she was able to be so unguarded and free around her, even when she was a complete mess.

"Maybe you can practice the routines at home some time," Rachel said blushing, imagining Santana doing her bends, flips and dances for her.

"And what would stop you from... I don't know... ripping my clothes off," Santana said with a smirk.

"There's a very simple solution to that," Rachel said biting her lip as a very specific and very sexy image filled her mind, causing her heart to race.

"Do it when you're not watching?"

"I was going to say do it without clothes on... Then there'd be nothing to... rip off," Rachel slowed her words as a blush took over as she realised what she'd just said out loud. Apparently, Santana had been shocked by the words too because she turned to Rachel with wide eyes but after a few moments, she gave Rachel a positively wicked smirk.

"Hmm, so while I'm dancing around naked, what will you be doing?" Santana shot back, her smirk growing wider; she was liking where this conversation was going. She knew it was too soon to engage in sexual activities with Rachel but perhaps some innocent sexual banter couldn't hurt... Especially since it was Rachel who started it.

"Why... I'll be... closely observing. Cheering you on," Rachel stammered, blushing even redder as she realised there was a possibility that Santana might actually start doing this and she'd be lying if she said the idea didn't turn her on quite a bit and Santana bending over would show off a lot more... assets than when she did it with the skirt on.

"Hmm, is that what they're calling it these days?" Santana joked smirking as Rachel's jaw dropped at the implication. "So... Let me get this straight; I'll be cheering naked and you'll be 'cheering me on'. We'll have to try that sometime in the future... For practice sake," Santana said. "Besides, the coach says we should practice at home more."

"I'm sure she'll admire the dedication," Rachel purred "And I might even be willing to give you hands-on assistance if you need it."

Rachel was happy to volunteer to help Santana out; that was the tone she was going with, even if Santana clearly knew there was nothing innocent about Rachel's offer or her words.

"I'm sure you would," Santana chuckled. "Strictly for cheerleading purposes, of course?"

"Of course, Santana," Rachel purred as Santana blushed. "For cheerleading purposes."

"Yes, well, I'll consider it for another time. For now, I just want to lay down with my sexy girlfriend in my arms and get my cuddle on," Santana replied with a smirk to Rachel.

**Alright, so the story is forming and Quintany (?) is forming. I plan on Rachel having a close relationship with Quinn; she will have a large part in the later. **


	5. Sleepover

**When the rating for this story goes up, each chapter will be rated between teen and M. So far, the 'lemons' I have written out are pretty tame and minor and none of them revolve around non-consentual acts... With my sister in laws past and my own history with sexual abuse, I cannot write out a graphic rape scene, so any sex scenes will be of a romantic and consensual nature. **

**James: Thank you! As usual, your reviews mean a lot. And that was my intent, to make sure Rachel does what she can to regain control over her body and to feel like Finn hasn't taken away her ability to be flirty like a normal teenager. She wants to flirt with her girlfriend and be romantic and possibly intimate but it's complicated. Kurt is one of my favourite characters and I honestly cannot see him standing by a homophobic brother considering he himself is out and proud; he was friends with Rachel long before Finn became his brother. Rachel's fathers will be brought into the story, I am simply prolonging them while I figure their role in the overall story.**

**The conversation between Brittany and Rachel is based _very loosely _on an actual conversation between two victims. **

**Also, Happy Pride Month, everyone... Pride week for us is in July but a happy pride month to my American readers. **

* * *

When Brittany and Quinn arrived at the house, Rachel was curled into Santana's arms and Santana was singing softly in Spanish to her. Though Rachel had no clue what she was actually singing, she knew it was bringing her comfort and it felt good to here. For all she knew, she was singing about the end of the world or something really sexual but it sounded so nice to her. Her voice was so passion filled and it made her feel safe and sound. Santana's voice was so rich and soft and combined with the emotion she was projecting to Rachel with her song; it was the most beautiful thing Rachel had ever heard. It was incredible how safe Santana's voice made her feel. And her scent, her warm but sweet scent made her feel as though nothing could ever possibly hurt her while she was in her arms while filling her with warmth and love.

They had spent the afternoon watching Frozen and every once in a while Rachel would initiate a make-out session but she'd stop if she felt herself getting too handsy because she knew she wasn't ready to go that far just yet. She wanted to but she wanted to make sure it was the right time and even if she wasn't still traumatized, she knew the 'right time' wasn't when Brittany and Quinn were due at any time. It would be terrible to have their first time rushed because they didn't want their friends walking in on them in the act. But she was and she knew she wasn't up for sex just yet. Her body might sometimes scream for her to just go for and have her way with Santana; to touch her and let her have her body but she was scared to be touched like that after what had happened. What if she had a flashback while they were having sex? Or a panic attack? But she quieted that part of her brain and just listened to her girlfriend as she sang to her and nuzzled closer to her body.

She was beyond lucky to have such a supportive and caring girlfriend who could make her this happy with everything going on and bring her to a state of mind where she almost felt normal. Whenever Santana would pause her song, she would kiss Rachel's forehead, leaving her to wonder if it was part of the song and then she'd gaze into Rachel's eyes with such love and warmth that left her speechless except to return the look and blush madly. Santana would smile proudly because this was clearly the result she was going for before she'd pick up her song.

Rachel knew she could easily listen to Santana sing forever; her voice was raw with emotion and strong with determination but there was a quality when she sang to her like this that made her heart swell because she knew it was only for her. It was beautiful and warm like the sunset and when she looked into her eyes, she could see the emotion behind it. It was absolutely perfect and anyone who dared argue her on that one would get a piece of her mind.

Their two friends were both flushed and their lips were swollen but the loopy grins on their face told a story about what they'd been up to before they came to Santana's. Brittany was grinning like a Cheshire Cat and Quinn was grinning goofily but looking around the room nervously, blushing like mad any time Brittany looked her direction as the dopey grin on her face grew more prominent.

"Look who got some lip action," Santana said with a wide and viscous smirk on her face. Brittany grinned widely and nodded but Quinn simply turned several shades of red before she met Brittany's eyes and glanced down at the floor bashfully. Rachel almost grinned when she noticed their fingers were intertwined as Brittany gripped Quinn's hand. Quinn was finally embracing herself and that was enough to make Rachel feel relieved for her. Now Quinn could stop pushing herself into relationships with guys she felt nothing for and be with the woman she had always been into.

"Be nice, Tana. She's shy. Hi Rachel, how are you doing? Can we talk alone?" Brittany asked smiling empathetically at Rachel but it was clear by the look on her face that she had something important to say. Santana gave her a look and in turn, Brittany gave her a very pointed look before giving her friends a nod so they would know she was fine talking to Rachel by herself. She had to do this alone.

"Sure, Britt. We can talk," Rachel said softly as she also gave Santana a nod and that was all Santana needed because she trusted Brittany.

"Great, me and Quinn will make supper and you two can talk," Santana said, giving Quinn a look that left no room for argument as she grabbed her arm and took her from the room towards the kitchen. But before Santana completely left the room, she kissed the top of Rachel's head and wrapped her arms around her in a brief hug which she happily returned, taking several seconds to smell Santana's hair and take comfort in her scent. When Santana left the room, Rachel took a seat on the couch and gave Brittany a loot that told her she had her undivided attention.

Brittany sat on the couch beside Rachel and smiled at her with understanding eyes but it was the familiarity in her eyes that hurt the most. The idea that Brittany _comprehended_ this particular pain made her feel sick to her stomach.

"How are you doing, Rachel?" Once thing Brittany was good at, was communicating with her eyes. Her words said 'how are you doing?' but her eyes clearly said 'and don't you dare lie because I'll know.' Rachel didn't doubt her ability to know if she was lying or not because she always knew. Her ability to read people was scary and brilliant at the same time. She was never wrong and she knew it. So she didn't bother giving her the 'I'm fine' line; they would both know she was full of rubbish.

"I'm doing better. Thanks to Santana," Rachel said happily. "I feel really safe when she's here; when she holds me. It makes me feel almost normal again."

"Yeah, she's really good but she didn't hold me that much and she didn't give me lady kisses like she does with you," Brittany said. "Do you still have nightmares?"

"Yeah, they never stopped," Rachel said honestly.

"Mine never really did either. Its been over a year and I still see his face sometimes when I close my eyes but it gets easier, I swear. Some days, it's like it never happened. Others, I don't want anyone to touch me or look at me. Sometimes, I just want to be held. There are good days and bad days. I want you to know that if you ever need space but you don't want to be alone, we can always just sit together and watch a movie or we can talk," Brittany said, wrapping an arm around Rachel who returned the hug. Brittany hugged her carefully and slowly, knowing she shouldn't hug her too tightly or make any fast movements because she knew what it was like to be in Rachel's shoes. "Like old times, Rachel."

It hurt Rachel so much to know Brittany knew what she was going through. In all the years she and Brittany had been friends, Brittany was one of the kindest, most innocent people she knew and to think about someone hurting her like that was unthinkable and disgusting. It was bad enough she had to live with it but _Brittany._ That went beyond horrible. But right now, Brittany was the one person Rachel could talk to who would actually _understand _what she was going through.

"I'm scared of hurting Santana because I can't be as close with her as I want to be," Rachel said, not sure how to phrase her problem. She wanted to be intimate with her girlfriend but sometimes the idea of being touched down there was just too much for her. She loved being held by Santana, even when she was at her worst but to be touched in that area was something so different because she'd have no control over Santana's fingers...

She knew Santana would not do anything without her consent but she wanted complete and total _control_ of every touch that happened down there and _sex_ would take that control away from her.

"There will be good days and bad days with that too. Your limits will change from day to day; just know she'll respect them from day to day. Be honest, tell her how you're feeling and what you want. She'll listen. If you feel like going further than you're used to and decide you need to stop, she will listen. I've never been with her like that but I know her well enough to know she would listen," Brittany said, squeezing Rachel's hand as she offered her a warm smile that she knew always made Rachel feel better when she was down. "Eventually, you'll get more comfortable and sex won't be as intimidating or nerve-wracking."

"So how did you get comfortable with it?"

"Honestly, it took time. I got into a relationship after _it_ happened and we started with kisses and worked up to it by touching myself while in the same room and then eventually, I got more and more comfortable with him and eventually, it happened. When it happens, just go with what you're comfortable doing," Brittany explained hugging Rachel tight. "Maybe even touch her while you touch yourself or go down on her if you're comfortable and believe me, she won't let you do anything unless she's 100% sure you're comfortable. If all you want to do is top her, she'll be fine with that and if you want her to top you, she'll love it but if you don't, she'll be fine with it. That's how she rolls. She won't pressure you into anything and she will make sure you're ready for anything you do."

"How do you know this?"

"Because I know her and I know the way she looks at you. She will love whatever you two do in bed, no matter what it is _because_ she loves _you._ She's loved you for a while, Rachel and she's not going to risk losing that for the sake of an orgasm," Brittany explained, making Rachel smile proudly because she knew her friend was so much smarter than everyone gave her credit for and it was moments like this that just made it clear.

Brittany had trouble expressing her thoughts around people she wasn't completely comfortable around or in crowds. She wasn't dumb but in school, she tended to be nervous and when she got nervous she blurted out random things. Her imagination was another reason she was considered dumb and her tendency to overshare but Rachel enjoyed those things about her and her stories about her cat were always amusing.

"Thank you, Brittany," Rachel said, hugging the girl before she smelt something wonderful coming from the kitchen. The food was ready.

* * *

"Come on, let's leave our girls to talk, we'll make them supper," Santana said opening the fridge to get the ingredients for the wraps they were going to be eating. "So, how's Brittany? You look like you were having a good time with her today?"

Quinn's face went flush at Santana's words and Santana just smirked. But Quinn's frown was deep-rooted and contemplative as she thought deeply about her relationship with Brittany and it was clear she was troubled about it.

"Come on, you can't really have an issue with this, can you?"

Santana knew Quinn didn't have a problem with her sexuality or Rachel's and she knew the two of them were together... So what exactly did Quinn have to be so reluctant about with entering a relationship with Brittany?

"It's not my issue I'm worried about. It's my mother. If she sees me dating a girl, she'll know that I'm... like that and she's not exactly going to be thrilled for me. She certainly won't be throwing me a coming out party..."

There was something about the way Quinn was unable to even say out loud that she was gay that made it clear what the issue was. The issue with her mother was most likely true but Santana could tell that Quinn was having trouble accepting her own sexuality and she didn't blame the girl at all. Being raised in a Christian home, hearing how homosexuality was a sin would make realising she was gay to be a nightmare and it was something that made Santana hate Quinn's parents. It was horrible that Quinn was afraid to love who she loved but it was a reality in her life. Even Rachel had been relucent but they were working on that as well.

Santana wasn't the type to beat around the bush. So she thought about the answer that would offer the most support while jumping straight to the point but offering her usual amount of zest.

"Well, she doesn't have to find out right away. Just see where it goes before you tell your mother. And about the _gay_ part... She'll find out eventually but I'm there for you if she does take it bad... Now, why don't you take that humus and spread it on the tortilla shells, I'll cut the veggies," Santana said throwing the shells and the hummus in front of Quinn to indicate the end of their touchy-feely discussion because she might be emotional and love-dovey with Rachel and sometimes Brittany, that was _not_ how her relationship with Quinn rolled. They talked emotionally when it was needed but then they went back to their usual way of communicating.

And she wouldn't change that for the world. When they needed to, they could get real and cry on each other's shoulders but they handled things better by joking, making quips and _venting_ to each other when they needed to talk.

Later that night after eating, the four girls were gathered in the living room on the couch; Rachel was curled up in Santana's arms and Brittany had pulled Quinn into her lap and Quinn was now resting contently in her arms as Brittany ran her hands through her hair. Santana was joking about school and Brittany was telling everyone about how the Cheerios seemed to be shaping up since they were under Rachel's instruction, even though Rachel didn't have much authority over them... yet.

"I'm not surprised. She has always been good at instructing us during dance class; she's one of the co-instructors. I was super surprised when she didn't make the Cheerios. I seen her tryout, she was better than anyone and she makes a kick-ass flyer," Brittany said, causing Quinn to stare at her with a wide-eyed but questioning expression. "She's always been a good flyer type and has no problem with heights or being tossed up."

"Are you sure? Because she would have made the team if she was that talented," Quinn said, raising her brow because she believed Brittany; Brittany always had a good eye for talent and when she said someone was good, it was because they were. But this left the question of why wasn't Rachel on the team if she had tried out and was good? There was no way coach Sylvester would allow good talent to waltz in and then reject it. The woman was obsessed with gaining as many talented cheerios as she could and from the sounds of it and what Quinn had seen so far, Rachel met this requirement.

"Yeah, your sister said no 'fag babies' on the team and kicked her out of the gym but I know she was better than any of the others and she probably still is. Though, I miss seeing you at class, Ray. When are you coming back?" Brittany asked with a smile, immediately ditching the topic about Quinn's sister and her stand on gay people because she knew it would hurt her to be reminded of another family member who would never accept her relationship or her sexuality.

"I think maybe in a few weeks. I don't know though," Rachel said flushing. As co-instructor, she could opt out of participating in the lifts and jumps but she hated being the instructor that told everyone what to do but wouldn't actually follow through. It was hypocritical and she always wanted to show them that if she could do it, that they should be able to execute the very same thing with work. So she knew she wouldn't have been able to handle those classes in the previous weeks and she knew she wasn't ready right away either; she needed time but she was going to go back in a few weeks when things were settled and she felt more stable.

"When you do come back, I'll be there with you and I'm sure Sanny will be there too," Brittany said, causing Santana to nod frantically as Brittany spoke so Rachel would know she was actually listening to the conversation and that she would be more than happy to attend.

"Of course, I'll be there, Rachel. Will I get to see you in a sexy gymnast outfit?"

"Maybe... But we usually only wear those for competition and intense training when we're doing trick moves. We don't get access to the equipment every time, so sometimes its just shorts, t-shirts and two hours of laps and sit-ups and pushups... We share the facility with the juniors," Rachel explained, rolling her eyes. Those outfits are mostly for safety when training with equipment because shirts hook onto things and during competition its for appearance and safety.

"Yeah, what do you call them again... Prancing shrimps?" Brittany said. "You should hear her when she's in charge of them. She calls them prancing shrimps and she yells at them and makes them go through all kinds of suicides. She's almost as bad as Sylvester," Brittany said laughing as Rachel took offence to her words but Santana seemed to be both intrigued and proud of her girlfriend as she wrapped an arm proudly around her waist and kissed her cheek.

"Hey! They are unmotivated, undisciplined and they think they can get away with twirling a couple of sticks and doing a somersault or two... No, they stink because they're lazy and I'm simply trying to make them less lazy," Rachel said with a shrug, causing both Santana and Quinn to laugh as though they could fully relate to Rachel's words and the passion in her eyes.

"I'm sure you say it nicer to their faces," Santana said with a laugh.

"She got in trouble once because she called them worthless bags of shit," Brittany said, causing Santana to laugh loudly and proudly before patting her girlfriend's shoulder and planting another kiss on her cheek as the pride swelled in her belly. Quinn, however, seemed completely stunned as she stared at Brittany for indication what she was joking. This was Rachel and Rachel would never speak like that; the girl was was against swearing of any kind talking like that? No, surely she had misunderstood what Brittany had just said. "She then made them run laps in the rain for twenty minutes afterwards."

"It built character," Rachel shrugged as though this was perfect justification for making them twenty minutes of laps but honestly, that didn't sound too bad. Twenty minutes of laps outside was pretty common for the Cheerios.

"It was February."

Ah, suddenly it made sense why this was a little bit extreme but Coach Sylvester had put them through worse but this was Rachel and not the coach and the fact that there was an association to be made there was unnerving.

"Yes, well I didn't insult them... directly that day," Rachel explained. "I simply implied they sucked because they did. They didn't complain about the way I instructed them after that. In fact, I'll be going back next month. I bet they're getting sloppy and lazy now that I've been gone a few weeks. They need a reminder that I'm still in charge."

"Careful, tubers... You might lose your spot as HBIC at this rate," Santana said with a laugh as she pulled Rachel close again and smiled as she felt her nuzzle into her shoulder, giving a sigh of contentment.

"Hey, if I'm instructing them towards competition, they are going to do their best or don't bother showing up. I want effort. If you want fun, join the Jolly Jumpers... Otherwise, suck it up. I teach _competitive _gymnastics not tumble tots," Rachel said rolling her eyes as though this should be obvious. She strived to make sure those people under her instruction could handle competition and had a competitive edge the other teams didn't possess and because of this, her teams always won and that was something that made her proud. "So no, I'm not going to hold their hands, pat their heads and give them juice boxes. I'm going to whip those wimps into... slightly tougher wimps."

"You made them cry!" Brittany said with a laugh as she remembered the way they would stiffen when Rachel entered the gym to begin their class for the day.

"And they're tougher for it. Have my groups ever lost?" Rachel said, raising her eyebrow and giving Brittany a questioning look. The blonde laughed and shook her head.

"No. Your groups never lose. But you are a bit harsh."

"I'm motivating."

It was the shrug as Rachel said these words that caused Santana to start chuckling. The girl knew she was terrifying.

"You walked into the room and one girl peed herself and another girl fainted," Brittany said with a giggle. "I'm pretty sure that's why coach Sylvester gave her her roll. Coach is going to put Rachel in charge for a few practises just to see how it will go. She says they're not motivated enough, so she's going to leave Rachel in charge for a few days to see if it helps."

"Yes, bring them to me! Bring them _all_ to me! I will _motivate_ them."

Quinn wondered how much of the motivation was going to be revenge against the cheerios for all the slushy facials she'd received over the years but didn't say it because it made her respect the girl a little bit. But Rachel sounded more like she was simply eager to torture them into submission instead of giving them instruction.

"I'm calling in sick those days," Quinn muttered, looking at the evil smirk on Rachel's face.

"Don't worry, Quinn. From what I've seen, you're fine. I, however, have written a profile for everyone with their strengths and weaknesses. I hope to kill their weaknesses and build their strengths but from what I've seen, the biggest problem with the team is unity. I'm going to focus more on that... Coach Sylvester has already spoken to me about this. I already have the lessons planned out."

"Should I be nervous?" Santana asked, cupping Rachel's cheek delicately.

"You? No. Quinn and Britt... No. Everyone else... Let's just say I'm going to whip them in shape but I won't kill them, so you don't have to worry about that," Rachel said happily as a vicious smirk crossed her face. "You guys will be tired but I think you can handle it. Brittany can."

"You'll never look at her the same way again. She's ruthless. Completely! She's all sweet and innocent now but wait till she gets the whistle on!"

Quinn and Santana shared a look but they shrugged both curious to see what was going to happen on Monday. Quinn looked worried about what was going to happen and Santana... Santana actually felt kind of turned on by the idea of Rachel being authoritative and ruthless; it sounded very sexy and she couldn't wait to see it, even if it meant she was going to be exhausted and potentially unable to move for a while afterwards.

"But be prepared. You have nothing to _fear_ personally, you're gonna be hurting when it's done," Brittany sighed happily as she snuggled into Quinn's shoulder, smiling as Quinn wrapped her arms around her and placed a kiss on the side of her face, not really holding back anymore because she knew she was surrounded by friends who didn't care if she was gay or not.

The three girls fell asleep the way. Brittany was resting on one arm of the couch, Quinn was curled up against her with her arms around Brittany and Rachel while Santana was snuggling the arm of the couch, murmuring lovingly to it as she slept... Clearly murmuring sweet nothings to Rachel who was on the wrong side of her... Well, usually Rachel slept on her right side so, in her unconscious state, she was unaware that Rachel wasn't in her arms.

For a moment, Rachel was unsure why she had woke up and when she moved to leave Quinn's grip and snuggle her girlfriend, her stomach very abruptly made it known why she was awake. Throwing Quinn's arm off, she bolted to the bathroom. She didn't have time to close the door or even turn on the light before she emptied her stomach in _and _around the toilet with a force she didn't think one body should be capable of.

When the light came on, Rachel felt a hand gently rub her back. She was sure it was Santana so when she finished, she muttered a weak apology before falling back into her arms and taking a moment to rest in the warm soothing arms.

"Are you okay?"

"Quinn?"

As soon as she realised it was Quinn she was resting against, she moved to leave her embrace but her body was too weak at the moment to follow through, so she simply threw her an apologetic glance as she felt Quinn sit with her and pull her into a full-on embrace. The last time they had been this physically close was that day at Quinn's when they made out and unlike then, their hands weren't under each other's tops and they certainly weren't enjoying _this_ particular embrace because of the circumstance behind the embrace that made it awkward and kind of gross because of the lingering smell of vomit in the air.

"Yeah," Quinn replied softly, helping Rachel to her feet so she could rinse her mouth. "Feeling better?"

"I don't know. I just woke up and my stomach was... like that. I'm sorry. I'll clean this up."

"Don't. I'll grab this. It's not much on the floor. Go back to Santana. I'll be out soon," Quinn said handing Rachel a small garbage pail and nudging her out of the bathroom with a caring look on her face as Rachel left yet another person to clean up her mess. It was hard not to feel guilty because this was the second time someone else had cleaned up her vomit. "Maybe this will be an incentive for you to go easy on me on Monday?"

"I don't do easy... But I promise I won't make you cry too hard," Rachel said with a chuckle. "From what I've seen, you're in shape, you'll be fine. It's the others who might shed some tears."

Rachel made her way to the living room in time to see Santana sitting up confused before her eyes fell on Rachel's pale, clammy face and the bucket in her arm. She stood up and rushed to her girlfriend's side, pausing only to put a hand on her forehead.

"Oh, no. Are you sick, Rachel?"

"I threw up."

Santana instantly wrapped her arms around Rachel and held her close. Rachel leaned into the touch and snuggled on the couch with Santana who began fussing to make sure Rachel was comfortable and that the bucket was close enough for her to reach if she needed it, despite Rachel's assurance that her stomach actually felt much better ad that she didn't need to worry.

"We can go up to my room if you're more comfortable there," Santana offered kindly and Rachel shook her head. This was her first slumber party and sure she'd gotten sick but she felt better now and she just wanted to enjoy herself. But Santana still made sure the bucket remained close to Rachel as she pulled her into her arms and snuggled her closer.

"I got you some ginger ale," Quinn said, handing Rachel a glass of ginger ale before laying back down and pulling Brittany back into her arms. Brittany gave a small sigh in her sleep and cuddled closer, her hand resting itself right over Quinn's breast causing her to blush furiously but Brittany simply snored on. After a few sips of the ginger ale, Rachel fell off to sleep in Santana's embrace, nuzzling her breast as she slept, leaving Santana to wonder if Brittany and Rachel knew what they were doing as they slept because Brittany was clutching Quinn's and Rachel seemed to be motorboating hers, leaving the Cheerio cocaptains both blushing madly as they were handled in such an intimate way in front of each other. Just as Santana was about to nod off to sleep, Rachel gave a small sigh before drawing her hand up and cupped the breast she wasn't nuzzling.

This was _not_ how she pictured getting to second base for the first time with Rachel but if she was content doing this as she slept, she wasn't going to object.

"Santana."

Hearing her name uttered from Rachel's mouth, she looked down and found that her girlfriend was still sound asleep.

"Santana. Love you. Safe. Love... love lovey Santana," Rachel muttered before falling silent once more, leaving Santana to shrug at Quinn who had most likely heard Rachel's sleep induced dialogue and thankfully said nothing as they both followed their girlfriends' examples and fell asleep.

* * *

In the morning, Rachel woke up and snuggled Santana closer and closer before a chuckle from the latina indicated she had awakened and was enjoying being snuggled so closely but the first thing that crossed her mind when she met her girlfriend's eyes was that she had a really firm grip on one of her boobs and had started kneading it, unsure of when she had even grabbed onto it at all.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said as she released the warm breast, already missing the feeling in her hands because those boobs felt _amazing_ in her hand and fit so perfectly. It felt so right in her hands and Santana could see that Rachel missed the boob and was tempted to take her hand and put it right back but instead, she settled for actually talking to Rachel.

"Don't apologise... I liked it otherwise I would have moved your hand when you started feeling me up last night," Santana said with a smirk as Rachel blushed profusely. "It's not your fault; my girls are pretty amazing."

"Hmm," Rachel said boldly grabbing one of Santana's boobs, causing a gasp to escape her lips as she tried to process what was happening. "Yeah, I agree with you; they are amazing."

"And you never cease to shock me, Rachel. What do you want for breakfast?" Santana asked as she kissed Rachel's cheek lightly.

"I feel like bacon," Rachel whispered to Santana who frowned but nodded at the request. "I'll help you make bacon and eggs for breakfast."

"Are you sure, Rachel?" Santana was unsure how to process Rachel's sudden desire to break veganism again and wanted to make sure that was actually what Rachel wanted to eat.

"Quite. I can practically taste it already," Rachel purred as she pulled Santana to her feet. "Now let's go because my stomach feels like its seconds away from consuming itself."

A small laugh broke out as her stomach decided to illustrate this by giving a loud and long growl so it could be clear that she was indeed very hungry which was to be expected after she had thrown up everything in it the night before.

"If you're sure," Santana said hesitantly as she allowed herself to be pulled into the kitchen.

As they made their way to the kitchen they failed to notice Quinn was awake and listening to the whole conversation with a worried frown on her face as slowly pieces to an unknown puzzle began forming in her mind as the clues to a mystery she didn't know she was solving began adding up to a conclusion that was starting to make her nervous. All she could do as she snuggled closer to Brittany was hope that the conclusion she was slowly drawing was wrong.

* * *

"Rachel! That's meat!" Brittany cried as she saw Rachel eating her first piece of bacon. Rachel smiled at Brittany and took a bite as she explained to Brittany that bacon was what she wanted at that moment and that she no longer considered herself to be a vegan and it was true because this was her second time-consuming meat and she honestly couldn't bring herself to feel overly guilty about it because it wasted like pure heaven in her mouth. The craving she was experiencing for bacon at that moment was all consuming and this fatty piece of dead flesh was everything her body seemed to desperately crave and then some.

"So, you're eating meat now! And eggs?" Quinn asked raising a brow.

"Yeah. I was craving it this morning," Rachel said as she took another bite of bacon. Quinn frowned deeply before looking down at her own plate; a look of contemplation and resolve was filling her expression as she began planning a trip to the store to pick up something she hoped she would never have to touch again as soon as she left Santana's. It was probably way too soon to think about this but with everything she had seen the night before and now with the bacon, she was going to be prepared.

"So, Rachel! What are you planning to do with the Cheerios on Monday?" Santana asked as she sat down at the table while placing a kiss on her girlfriend's head.

"You'll see on Monday but you'll be fine... Mostly."

Once breakfast was over, Brittany drove Quinn home. Santana and Rachel were left alone to relax. Rachel had taken great joy in sitting on Santana's lap and snuggling her. She turned on Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone and watched with complete fixation because it was one of her favourite series and watching it from Santana's lap was like being in paradise. Rachel loved watching the movies and comparing them to the books which were amazing as well; she even had her own wand and Hogwarts uniform which she kept proudly with her signed hard-cover books.

"Oh my god! Harry Potter!"

It was about thirty minutes into the movie and Brittany was eyeing the movie as though her prayers had been answered.

"I think Brittany wants to watch," Rachel said to Santana who simply shrugged and patted the spot next to her and Rachel. With a kiss to Santana's lips, they all turned back to the movie.

They rewatched the movie twice at Rachel and Brittany's request. Santana might not have been into the movie but she loved watching Rachel watch the movie.

That night, Rachel and Santana curled up in Santana's bed with Brittany in the guest room. They asked if Brittany wanted to join them but she had refused, saying it wasn't necessary; she wanted to prove that she was fine and able to spend a night by herself just like she did at home. She wanted to show Santana that she was doing better; so Rachel could see that it did get easier in time.

"You can join us at any time, Britt. We won't turn you away," Santana had told her sincerely as she gave her a brief hug goodnight.

"I know."

When they were under the covers, Rachel snuggled into Santana's side and rested her head on the latina's chest so she could feel her heart beating against her head. It was something that comforted her more than anything next to her scent and her embrace. Well, everything about Santana brought her comfort.

"I really like sleeping with you," Rachel said to Santana with a content sigh as she snuggled her close, running her hands along Santana's back and enjoying the feel of her soft skin under her hands.

"Mm, good because I like it when you're close to me," Santana sighed as she ran her hands through Rachel's hair and kissed her lips gently.

"What will we do when I have to go home?" Rachel asked sadly, knowing she was going to have to go home when her fathers did return and that was heartbreaking because she was worried about how she would react to not being in Santana's presence if she needed her.

"We'll talk to them and figure something out. But I promise I won't leave you alone to sleep until you're ready," Santana insisted, kissing Rachel's neck before placing a firm kiss on her lips. Rachel deepened the kiss and allowed Santana to run her hands under the back of her shirt; all she could do was shudder as she felt her hands on her back for the first time. When the kiss deepened once again, Santana knew Rachel was at her limit and called a stop to the kisses and just let them snuggle closer. However, when she went to remove her hands from Rachel's back, she was met with protests.

"Leave them... I like them there," Rachel said as she blushed but grinned.

They fell asleep in each other's arms and slept peacefully until they heard Brittany softly whispering their names. Brittany was trembling, her face was pale and she looked more vulnerable than Rachel had ever seen her; it was a brutal reminder that she had gone through the same Hell she was going through.

"I know I said I'd be fine but can I..."

"Get in here," Rachel said with a chuckle as she and Santana scooted over so Brittany could crawl in. At first, Rachel tensed when the other girl made contact with her but she took Brittany's hand knowing she might not want to cuddle and the blonde smiled at Rachel.

"Do you wanna talk about it, Britt?" Santana asked as she spooned Rachel from behind while Rachel looked into the eyes of her friend with concern and compassion in her eyes.

"No. I just felt alone and nervous. Is this okay? Sleeping with you and Tana?" Brittany asked nervously.

"Absolutely," Rachel replied. "You can talk to me if you want. You're my friend, Brittany and I'm sorry you went through this and I didn't do anything to help. I wish you had have told me, Britt. I would have helped you. I would have been there for you."

"I didn't want to stress you, Rachel. You'd just started coaching and I was worried about you. You were barely sleeping then and I felt bad for thinking about bothering you," Brittany cried sniffling. "You were so happy even though you were so stressed, I didn't want to ruin it."

Rachel remembered when that happened. She had just begun taking on the class without assistance and she was up all hours modifying her plans, coming up with ways to get the kids' respect while making sure they were safe but not going too easy on them. It was so stressful and she barely had time to eat or study. When she thought about it now, she realised Brittany had become distant, thin and much quieter than her usual self but she barely had the energy to pay much mind to her own emotional state, let alone someone else's, so the fact that her friend was in distress had gone unnoticed.

It made her feel like such a jerk for not being there for her friend when she needed her and even worse because Brittany was there for her, even though she had failed to help her through her darkest times.

"Next time, tell me when something is wrong. We've been friends for a while now and I want to help you," Rachel said, looking into Brittany's eyes. "I'm gonna hug you now, okay."

Santana watched as the two girls embraced but they had pretty much forgotten her because they both began sobbing together. They both began to release the tears of their shared experiences and held each other in a way only another survivor could. And they cried together for everything that had been stolen from them. Their virginities, their control, and their feelings of safety. They cried for the pain they experienced and the fact that no matter how much things cooled down, they would never be one hundred per cent over what happened; that to some degree, it would always linger over their heads.

At one point Santana got up and prepared three steaming mugs of tea and when she returned, Brittany and Rachel had already cried themselves to sleep, clutching each other like a lifeline and she couldn't help the sad smile that crossed her face as she realised Brittany and Rachel could offer each other a different type of comfort; a much-needed type of comfort. They didn't have to explain to each other how they felt because they both knew. Santana could comfort them but she would never _understand_ their pain like they could and perhaps it was a good thing for Rachel to be able to go to someone else with this. As much as she wanted to comfort her 24/7, it was important Rachel be able to talk to and lean on others in her life too.

Santana curled up in the chair in her room and fell into a light sleep. Rachel was safe and her friend was safe. They were both safe. And at that moment, that was all that mattered to her.


	6. Closer

**NOTE: Chapter does contain sexual content between two women... (we all knew it was coming... no pun intended) so the rating will change to correspond with this. This is based on experiences between my sister and law and myself... separately of course because I love my brother too much to try and get with his wife. I am NOT a rape victim but I am a victim of sexual assault so most of this is from my own personal experience. I never experienced nightmares and flashbacks, intimacy was a problem for me but I am fine and I actually co-wrote this chapter with my sister-in-law.)**

**Story Rating will be moved to M... You have been warned but the sex scenes I write will be completely based on intimacy and though it will be detailed, I promise they will not be excessively graphic and based more around the intimacy of the act. Each chapter will be rated individually from here on out. I WILL never write graphic flashbacks of Rachel's assault so any sex scenes will be romantic in nature because I am NOT comfortable writing violent sex.**

**Also, I'm sorry for this chapter not being as long as the previous two but I've been dealing with end of the school year madness and the harsh reality that my youngest brother is entering Junior High School next year, oh the joys of being a middle child. **

**Please be kind, I am still quite new to writing scenes with physical intimacy. In the future, these scenes will be marked off so readers can skip but honestly, the intimate scene in this chapter is most of it but it's (in my opinion) not overly graphic. **

**Chapter Rating: M**

**Also, I will be working on prewriting several chapters in advance because pride week is coming and I will be taking the time off of work so I will (hopefully) be able to get some writing done and get a few chapters written.**

**James: Thank you for your reviews once again. Rachel's moods will shift from situation to situation. I've learnt that some days triggers happen without really anything happening and others nothing triggers them at all. Also, I intend to revisit the topic of Quinn's sexuality in future chapters and her relationship with Brittany. Rachel does have an unholy streak but she uses it for the good of competition. I agree with solidarity. Its something that I found helped in real life. And as for the pregnancy, I'm not confirming or denying yet but that will be revealed in the next chapter. **

**Packer82: Thank you so much for your kind words.**

**Now, I want to hear from you. Karofsky: should he be included and should he be mean or nice? I'm on the fence with him because he is a fascinating character to explore in either capacity. **

* * *

It was Sunday evening when they found out Rachel's fathers had entered their quarantine period which would mean they would be home in a month. And Rachel was conflicted about it. As much as she wanted to see her fathers, she didn't want to be apart from Santana overnight. She was still having nightmares and it was waking up in Santana's arms that helped her the most. Brittany had gone home with her parents and Rachel and Santana were on their own again. Rachel had been delayed in starting her Cheerio training because of a flu outbreak and now she was all set to begin in the morning.

However this night, it wasn't a nightmare that woke Rachel up. Actually, she wasn't sure what woke her but when she found herself alone in the bed, her first instinct was to panic. She had never waken up alone in Santana's bed and it was unnerving. Especially since she had fallen asleep in her arms so it was a bit confusing to her sleep-hazed mind. At least it was until...

"Mmm, Rachel…"

Rachel heard the sound of her name and found herself momentarily wonder what was happening. She could hear Santana's moans coming from the bathroom and it was such a beautiful sound barely over a whisper but she could hear it.

"God… Rachel!"

Suddenly, all she could hear was her girlfriend panting and she could feel throbbing between her legs as she figured out what Santana was doing in there. Intense throbbing. And wetness and warmth. So powerful and getting more and more persistent and impossible to ignore. She really wanted to touch herself now and she felt bad for wanting to but at the same time... Santana sounded so sexy moaning her name. But this wasn't her bed and...

"Yes! Oh... yes!"

_Holy… Wow! She's… That has to be the hottest thing I've ever heard._

The bathroom door opened after the brief sound of running water and Rachel was currently having trouble focusing on anything besides her own throbbing problem or the feeling of wetness between her thighs. When Santana slid back in bed, she noticed Rachel laying there with her eyes open and she swore she could see Santana blush. Her cheeks were red and there was relief shining in her eyes that didn't go away, even as she blushed profusely at her girlfriend.

"I had to pee."

"I... um... heard you."

"Oh…" Suddenly her eyes went wide. "Oh, god, Rachel… I'm sorry. I just… I… um…"

Rachel cut off her girlfriend's attempt to come up with an excuse for her actions by placing a finger over her beautiful lips.

"Relax, Santana. You're human… I get it… And I um… really enjoyed hearing it," Rachel said as she felt her own face heating up with her admission but she noticed Santana's face seemed to light up in a crooked grin; a sight that was always welcome but it was also driving Rachel completely crazy. Santana's smile was super sexy and right at that moment, even her breathing was unbelievably hot.

"Did you now?"

"Yes. I did," Rachel said, flushing as she felt herself becoming uncomfortably damp as the throbbing intensified under Santana's gaze. This was common since she and Santana started dating but the urge to actually touch and do something was new. She hadn't wanted to engage with herself 'down there' since the incident. But right now, it was all she wanted to do. The desire must have been plain in her eyes because Santana got really close; her expression was both sultry and cautious.

"God. Now I'm feeling... that was really hot."

Santana's eyes widened as she realised that Rachel was squirming now and clearly she had figured out why because she'd been unaware that Rachel had _enjoyed_ what she had heard _that much._ She gave Rachel a look up and down while she tried to figure out the best way to word her next question. Rachel felt Santana wrap an arm around her before she met Rachel's eyes with her own cautious eyes as though she were terrified simply suggesting this would set her off but clearly Rachel was in need of a release now and she knew she could offer this first before she tried offering a cold shower. She wanted Rachel to feel comfortable expressing herself sexually when she needed to if she was comfortable doing so.

"Do you want to do it, too?"

Rachel found herself nodding and Santana chuckled but gave her a serious look and Rachel knew she had to take care of this because Santana's presence was making the throbbing more intense as chills of pleasure went up and down her spine at the simple idea of getting a release. Rachel wasn't going to be able to go back to sleep now with this throbbing. After all, she had been wanting to go further with Santana than she had and her need for a release, despite her worries was slowly becoming harder to ignore. And at that very moment, it was kind of throbbing in an almost painful way.

"Do you want me to do it for you or perhaps this time just try it with me here?" Santana said, giving Rachel the option to choose how much she would participate. Santana knew about what Brittany had told Rachel in regards to sex and if Rachel was comfortable enough to try something, then she was going to make sure they went about it in the way that made her feel the most comfortable.

Rachel really wished she could tell Santana to go down on her and make her feel good and the thought made her core throb more but she knew that she wasn't ready to be touched like that. Not yet. But _God_ did the idea ever turn her on!

"I… Want to try it myself this time… I don't know how it's going to go… Don't leave me," Rachel said, knowing if it went bad, she'd need her girlfriend to hold her because this would be her first time attempting an orgasm since _it_ happened. But more than that; if Santana stayed, it would be the most intimate thing she would have ever done with another person and something about that was just perfect. It was a moment she genuinely wanted to share with Santana.

"Okay… I won't. I'll be right here through the whole thing. I assume you know what to do," Santana said nervously making it clear she knew just how big a deal this was; how significant what was about to happen was. When Rachel nodded she smiled and kissed Rachel's cheek softly. What they were about to do wasn't a traditional expression of intimacy but she still wanted this moment to be as intimate as possible without causing panic.

"I've never done this with another person near," Rachel said, feeling her underwear becoming wetter… She had to do this. She wouldn't get back to sleep if she didn't… She was throbbing too much. She was at a point beyond return because the idea of touching herself was making her throb more. She wasn't ready to let Santana touch her yet but she could have Santana close by while she touched herself. Brittany had mentioned it and honestly, it seemed to be something very intimate and she was willing to try it with Santana. It would be her own personal victory. More importantly, it would be a step forward in their relationship; it would be a really big step and honestly, it was one she had been contemplating taking before she heard Santana pleasuring herself and now the moment was here.

Rachel gave a small nervous sigh as she worked her thumbs hesitantly under her pants before looking into Santana's beautifully rich, brown eyes.

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to."

"I want to," Rachel said as she looked to Santana as though asking permission before she could think about pulling her pants down in case she absolutely did not want this to happen in her bed. "Where should I…"

"Here is fine. I only went to the bathroom to keep from disturbing you. This is the first time you woke up while I've… done that."

"Okay," Rachel said as she nervously began taking her pyjama pants and underwear off, as though she was afraid Santana was going to change her mind or judge her despite the fact that they were still covered by the blankets. Once they were gone, Rachel laid there nervously with her hands by her side as though nervous to begin and honestly, she was a bit nervous but she wanted this. She wanted to do this. It was odd to lay in Santana's bed without her pants or her underwear on but the sheets felt so nice against her bare bottom. For a moment, she looked at Santana and didn't move, unsure where to begin.

She wanted to share this moment with her girlfriend but she was nervous. What if she moaned too loud? What if she made an ugly face when she came? What if she couldn't get herself off at all? She'd had no trouble with this in the past but now she was nervous to do it because she was nervous she was going to do something to make Santana lose interest.

"If you want me to look away…"

"Kiss me, San," Rachel said suddenly; she wasn't sure why but requesting a kiss at that moment felt right. Santana captured her lips in a heated kiss that made Rachel's knees shake and her heart to race. When they broke apart, she gave her girlfriend a look before grabbing her wrist to communicate that she didn't want her to look away. She wanted to have eye contact when she did this. It was one thing for her not to be able to allow her to touch her but she was not going to allow the intimacy of this act to be taken away from her. She wanted to look her girlfriend in the eye when she had her first orgasm with her present.

"I'm fine... I want to look you in the eyes and do this as though we were doing this right," Rachel said firmly as she reached down and touched herself for the first time in ages. Her body almost exploded at the simple touch. "Holy shit. You're sure you okay with me doing this here?"

"I'm more than fine with you doing this. But is it okay if I…"

"Go ahead. I want to hear you moan for me," Rachel said as she continued doing things that worked but didn't remind her of… that night. She found the little bead was already swollen and pulsing as she reached down and rubbed it tenderly, causing her entire body to shudder. She felt Santana remove her own pants and soon, the Latina was panting, causing her throbbing to grow and grow as she found her fingers becoming slicker as her arousal grew. They held eye contact the entire time, only blinking when they had to. Waves of pleasure crashed through her body that seemed to perfectly follow Santana's moans of pleasure. Whenever Santana would grunt or moan, her own pleasure would spike as she tried to think about touching each other and not themselves. It made it so much better as she pictured Santana's fingers working on her.

She couldn't go inside, she knew that but this was more than enough for her as she rubbed at her clit and played with the folds which were dripping with excitement. She could feel Santana thrusting into herself and the movements caused her body to react powerfully. Santana let out a loud groan of pleasure and Rachel let out her own groan. There was something so wonderful about laying next to Santana and seeing the look on her face as she moaned out in pleasure; the very same pleasure that was coursing through her body. Without stopping her fingers movements, she leaned closer and softly kissed Santana. Santana took her free hand and wrapped it around Rachel's waist, effectively pulling her close enough that their hearts beat against each other but just enough distance that their fingers could still move. Once again, they kept their eyes locked in a passionate and loving gaze as they worked themselves closer and closer to the edge.

Suddenly and without warning, she felt herself start to climax and when she heard the Latina groan her release, it was like a chain reaction and she found her entire body become engulfed by her own orgasm. It was stronger than she'd ever experienced before. So strong that she took her free hand and grabbed onto Santana's... She's not sure what because she just gripped the first thing her hand landed on but it clearly didn't hurt because Santana wasn't objecting. She had been going for her arm but she was almost certain she hadn't grabbed onto that.

"Oh my god! _Yes!_ Santana! Jesus!"

When her body finally stopped jerking, she stared at Santana and tried to catch her breath as she realised she was gripping Santana's covered breast while Santana simply stared into her eyes with a smile as she gently cupped Rachel's cheek with her own free hand, looking into her eyes with enough affection and warmth that it filled her with enough joy to make her forget everything that was wrong just for a few seconds. At that moment, she felt loved; she felt like she was the most beautiful and precious thing in Santana's life.

"It's never been that strong before," she breathed, noticing Santana was resting and watching her with a lazy, satisfied grin on her face, still cupping Rachel's cheek with her hand as they both kept their eyes locked on one another's. Rachel smiled and surprised them both by climbing on top of Santana and into her arms and letting their bare legs weave together. She could feel Santana's wetness against her own legs, just like she knew Santana could feel hers but she was too content to be bothered moving. After what they'd just done it was safe to say they were well past being modest.

"Hmm, I agree. Are you okay with what happened? Are you comfortable?"

She stared deep into Rachel's eyes so she could actually see if her girlfriend was okay; Rachel, of course, was more than okay. She was in pure bliss as she felt Santana's arms tighten around her.

"I'm fine right now. That was amazing," Rachel said kissing the Latina softly and enjoying the look of pure bliss on her face. "Can we do that again sometime? Cause that felt amazing, better than when I've done it alone... And I am so happy it happened with you."

She was happy. It was everything she had ever imagined from a sexual experience but there was something so intimate about the moment. Something beautiful about what they had just shared. Santana hadn't touched her physically and yet, she felt as though what they had done was so much more special because it was their first real sexual experience together and Santana had done everything to make sure Rachel was comfortable. Feeling their hearts beating together as they both came undone was something magnificent and addictive.

"Absolutely," Santana said as she kissed Rachel softly. "We can do that _whenever_ you want. I'm surprised this happened at all."

"Yes, well, I really liked what I heard when you were in the bathroom," Rachel said, pulling Santana's mouth to hers before snuggling back down. "Have you ever done that before?"

"Masturbated with another person? No. But I'm fine if that's all you can handle right now. No pressure. Clearly, we both _want_ each other and we turn each other on but I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with," Santana said looking into Rachel's eyes.

"Is it okay if when we do start… testing the waters if maybe I could…"

"Could what?"

"Go down on you," Rachel said, causing Santana's eyes to widen. "I'm not sure I'm ready to be touched down there just yet but I wouldn't mind touching you… I _want_ to."

"If you want to, I won't stop you," Santana said, happy that Rachel wanted to satisfy her like that but… "Just remember, there's no pressure. We'll work up to it as you're ready."

"Okay. I really want to touch you."

"Just know, if that's what you _really_ want to do, I won't stop you but... What are you… Oh my g-god! Rachel!"

Rachel had reached down and began rubbing Santana's swollen nub, feeling the girl arch at the touch. Her fingers were soaked instantly and she loved feeling Santana throb against her fingers. It felt amazing under her fingers and when Santana squirmed, she couldn't help but grin. Sure, she couldn't let Santana touch her down there yet but she had no problem with touching _her._

"God, I didn't think you meant now!"

"Do you want me to stop?" Rachel asked, slowing her movements down but the Latina only shook her head. "No. Only if you want to."

"I don't."

Soon, Rachel had slowly worked Santana into her third orgasm of the night and she couldn't help but take such pride in knowing it was her fingers that caused her to moan and cry out in pure pleasure as she looked into Rachel's eyes with pure affection and joy. The feeling of being inside her girlfriend was beyond anything she had ever imagined and the feelings she felt as Santana moaned out in pleasure were so intense and it made her realise just how much she loved her. She loved that she could do this to her, even after what had happened. She was able to bring those faces and those tantalizing sounds from her beautiful lover. And the feeling of Santana grinding against her hand was absolute perfection; especially as she rode out her orgasm.

"That was beautiful, Santana and _so _hot. You are perfect, you know that, right?"

Rachel replied as she drew her fingers out of Santana to her mouth and began licking them clean, enjoying the taste that was so purely Santana. It was easily the best thing she had tasted all week. Santana grabbed her face and pulled her in for a kiss which Rachel returned feverishly until moans began escaping her lips as the throbbing intensified once again.

"Do you want to…"

"I… I guess so… We have a half hour until your alarm will go off… Are you okay with me…"

"You're in charge here. Anything sexual is up to you," Santana said smiling. "Just don't suggest anal… That will never happen."

"Okay… Can I try it like this?"

She wanted to be in Santana's arms when she did come; she knew it had to be by her own fingers because she needed that control to keep herself grounded. She needed to be able to control everything that was happening down there but this seemed like it could be a step in the right direction. Maybe one day, she'd be able to work up to allowing the Latina to touch her. But for now, she needed that control. She needed complete control of everything that touched her down there. As Brittany said, it was a good stepping stone and eventually, she'd be able to work up to a point where she could let Santana touch her.

"Sure. If it'll work," Santana said.

Rachel reached down and worked her fingers until she found the right angle and soon enough she was moaning into Santana's shoulder, causing Santana to smile widely at the sound as Rachel moved against her.

"Kiss me," Rachel instructed again between pants and her girlfriend was all too happy to comply because it made her feel like she was actually doing something for the first time since Rachel started moaning into her ear.

"I'm gonna run my hands on your back, I don't like just lying here," Santana said, running her hands up Rachel's back as she said she would, causing a thrill of pleasure to crash across her body, pushing her over the edge completely. Her finger movements went jerky but she was too far gone for it to affect the intensity of the orgasm by much.

"Shit… Jesus… Santana… God! Oh my god! San… TANA!"

"Santana, god!" Rachel cried out as she felt Santana's lips on her neck, kissing up and down her pulse points, causing her to gasp out as the pleasure started exploding through her body, causing her orgasm to intensify almost as though she was having more than one. Her body twitched almost violently before she finally stopped shuddering out in pleasure as she collapsed into her girlfriend's waiting embrace.

"Wow! Rachel! I didn't know you had that kind of mouth on you," Santana said smirking as she stroked Rachel's sweaty hair. "That was so hot!"

"Yeah," Rachel said as she fell into Santana's chest, barely able to see straight. "That was amazing. You are amazing."

Rachel snuggled closer to Santana and took a moment to enjoy the feel of the girl's breath against the side of her face. Santana wrapped her arms tightly around Rachel and kissed her cheek before running her hand through the diva's thick and now really messy hair.

"How about next time, and this time I actually mean another night, I actually go down on you," Rachel said, causing the Latina's breath to shudder for a second.

"Only if that's what you want to do. Have you ever done that before?"

"No, what happened just now, between you and I, was the first sexual contact I've had with another person… That I actually wanted to participate in. And I'm glad it was with you because I've wanted to try and be intimate with you for a while. I just didn't know how to bring it up," Rachel said kissing Santana's neck. "You've been so amazing through this. I don't know if its too soon to say this and I'm scared you're going to be scared off but I feel this is the best time to say…"

"I love you, too, Rachel. And considering all we've been through together, I don't think it's too soon."

"I love you, Santana."

They captured each other's lips and just as Rachel let her tongue slide across Santana's lower lip…

_Beep… beep… beep… beep…_

"Ugh… The real world needs to stop now so I can gets my smooches on with my girl," Santana said, pulling Rachel's lips back to hers. After a few minutes of kissing, Santana decided they needed to get ready for the day. When they stood up, she noticed Santana staring at her bare legs and she couldn't help but flush. The site before her was breathtaking and it was the first time she had seen her girlfriend's exposed parts despite the fact that she had essentially just had sex with her.

"I love your legs," Santana said, staring up and down Rachel's legs, noticing with a smirk that Rachel was also appreciating the view. It made her realise that she had seen Rachel naked a few times but Rachel had never actually seen her naked. This was the first time Rachel had seen her without pants and underwear.

"I've never seen you this exposed before. I like it. I wish I could see the rest of you," Rachel said, as she watched Santana pull some clean underwear and a Cheerio uniform from her dresser. Santana smirked and clearly decided to forgo going into the bathroom to undress and instead stripped off her shirt right there, giving Rachel her first ever view of her girlfriend completely naked. She couldn't help but stare. The latina was gorgeous! Perfect! From her firm and full breasts to her toned stomach.

Santana sauntered her way to her girlfriend and smirked at her before she pulled Rachel in for a kiss. Rachel returned the kiss and pushed the Latina onto the bed so that she was straddling her waist.

"We need to get ready, Rachel."

"Well, I'm still in my sleep top," Rachel said, peeling the shirt off and dropping it to the floor before she reattached her lips to Santana's. She knew she was reaching a boundary she wasn't ready to cross, so she decided to slow it down and simply keep her hands to the Latina's neck but that didn't stop her from holding their bodies close, feeling their bare skin touch in every way possible.

"You know, this is the first time I've gotten naked with another person _after_ the sex has ended. You're throwing my game, Berry."

"Do you want me to finger you again? Cause I can do that?"

"Do I want you to?… Yes. Do we have time? No," Santana said with a smile as she noticed Rachel's fingers twitching in that direction. "Seriously, love, we need to get dressed. As much as I'd love to stay naked with you, we can't. We have Cheerio practice."

"Okay," Rachel said as she stood up, unsure of what had come over her just then… Oh yeah, her sexy, naked girlfriend. That was what came over her.

She was about to say something when a wave of nausea hit her. It wasn't too intense but enough that she knew she wasn't feeling well. Perhaps she just needed to eat something. She'd be fine. During the drive to school, Rachel held Santana's hand and despite light nausea, she still enjoyed holding her girlfriend's hand, especially after a night like they had had. By the time she arrived at the school, her stomach felt better and she was a bit hungry.

Santana smiled as she pulled Rachel against her side and hugged her briefly before taking her hand and guiding her into the school. The first thing Santana did was guide Rachel to the gym where she pulled Rachel in for a hungry kiss which was returned. Rachel wrapped her arms around Santana's neck and pulled their bodies closer for a few moments before she pulled away and gazed into her girlfriend's eyes.

They were going to be alone in the gym for another half hour until the other girls arrived. Today was Rachel's first day in charge and she was sporting a uniform that was different from the other girls. It was a t-shirt, a varsity jacket and pants.

"Rachel. I just want to make sure you're okay with what happened this morning now that you've had time to register it," Santana said, cupping Rachel's cheek gently and looking into her eyes with sincerity and concern in her eyes. She wanted to make sure there were no regrets or any types of flashbacks or triggers that could cause her to be emotionally distressed throughout the day. If she had to, she would tell the coach where to go and take Rachel home.

"Santana. I'm fine, I swear. What happened this morning was great and having you by my side made it even better. But what I did to you? That was amazing and I can't wait until the day I can let you do it to me," Rachel sighed kissing Santana deeply.

"Okay. If we're going to start allowing things like that to happen, you need to promise me you'll let me know if your uncomfortable and need to stop. I want us to create a safe word, Rachel," Santana said sternly. "Something specific that will tell me you need to stop."

"Sanctuary."

Because she knew she would always find sanctuary with Santana, even when she was at her worst. And it was a good choice because it's not something she would moan out on her own while she and Santana were being intimate unless she wanted or needed to stop.

"Okay. That works."

"Are you okay? Did you... um... did I do it right?" Rachel asked, suddenly feeling insecure.

"You were perfect but you should know, the bedroom is one place you could never disappoint me. I'll admit, I was very surprised. I didn't expect sex this morning but you were brilliant but you don't have to have sex with me just to make me happy. I love having you in any way... snuggles, kisses, talking and sure last night was amazing but I only want you doing it if its what you _want_ to do."

"And I wanted to. I'm glad I did and I meant it when I said I want to do it again sometime because I absolutely loved making you feel good."

"Good now, today's Cheerio practice..."

"Get ready to see why she has twelve-year-olds wetting themselves," Brittany said with a giggle as she hugged Rachel softly and hugged Santana.

Santana stared at Rachel as Quinn wrapped her arms around Brittany from behind and eyes Rachel as though expecting her to start ordering them; clearly, Brittany had told her what to expect. Santana gulped and looked warily at her girlfriend.

"I love you, Tana. You have nothing to worry about but it's going to be a rough couple days. I'm not going to put you through anything I wouldn't do myself," Rachel promised as she kissed Santana. "And honestly, I'm kind of tired so they're not going to get the _full treatment_ today."

When Santana went off to the side to talk to the coach, Quinn stepped beside Rachel, knowing she was going to be working closely with her to make sure she was up on their techniques and most importantly the girls' individual strengths and weaknesses so she had a rough idea what she could and couldn't do. Sure, she had picked up on a lot but there were things that she wouldn't have picked up yet that she would need to know.

"How're you doing, Rachel?" Quinn asked as she guided Rachel over to the bench so she could begin going over their past routines and the bios of the players who had specific weaknesses that needed to be brought to Rachel's attention before she could start shaking things up and assigning new rolls.

"I'm fine. A bit tired but we woke up really early. I was a bit queasy but I think it was just nerves," Rachel said, turning around just in time to see Santana begin slowly bending down to touch her toes repeatedly almost directly in front of them. It was because of this that she missed the look that crossed Quinn's face as Quinn made a note in her phone to stop by the Walgreens outside of town after school. She had to buy it today while she still had the nerves to do so. But she resolved to keep an eye out for Rachel over the next few days and if she noticed any more signs, she was going to approach her but for now, she decided to just let her get started whipping the cheerios into shape. At least when the time came, she would have everything she needed.

When Rachel made her way to Brittany to run some stuff by her, Quinn sat with her face in her hands as she let her own guilt consume her for a bit before fear and worry for Rachel began coursing through her. Rachel was slowly becoming less jumpy, anxious and depressed; if her suspicion was correct, it was going to set her back. All she could do was hope and pray she was wrong but there was a feeling deep in her gut that told her she wasn't. And there was a feeling that if she hadn't kissed Rachel, none of this would have happened to her. If she was right, she was going to do everything in her power to make it easier for her.


	7. Positive

**NOTE: The bold text in the chapter is of a sexual variety. This is a non-graphic sexual occurrence. I am actually excited about this chapter because we are starting to move on with the plot. Rachel is beginning to recover and though she's not back to normal by any stretch of the word, she is starting to find herself again. But I want to know if Rachel should seek therapy. My sister in law did not go to therapy but I had to go to therapy. Everyone is different and we are unsure if Rachel should seek help to recover if her emotional distress becomes too much. **

**Packer82: Thank you so much.**

**James: Thank you, that's exactly what I was going for with this chapter; her reclaiming what she felt was lost and taking back her body so she could feel as though she has control over her body while still expressing intimacy with her girlfriend while being comfortable... Simply put, she wants to be young and in love. It's a personal victory. And as for Quinn: as guilty as she is going to be, I have plans for another character to step up to the emotional blame plate but Quinn will struggle as well. **

To say the Cheerios were less than enthusiastic to be coached by Rachel was an understatement. None of them wanted to take her seriously and it wasn't until Coach Sylvester told her to do her worse and proceeded to _loudly_ inform Rachel that she could kick people off the team that she smiled. And it wasn't her usual smile. It was a smile that made some of the younger Cheerios shake and the older Cheerios slightly nervous.

However, a lot of the Cheerios were standing defiantly watching Rachel. They knew she had good ideas, they _knew_ this but they did not want to listen to _her._ Some of the cheerios liked the way it was when she was still nothing but someone who threw good ideas to them but now she had actual power over them and they hated it.

She knew it was going to be a long day but she was going to make them respect her. Hopefully, they would fall in line and listen to her. She was sure that wouldn't happen right away but just like the preteens she worked with, she was going to have to _show _them she meant business.

Rachel blew her whistle and ordered everyone to sit down in front of her.

"So. Coach Sylvester brought me here to help your team improve. I am going to be working with you to make you a stronger team. You are a team! When one of you fails, you will all fail! When one of you wins, you all win! That's it. End of story. You are a strong as your weakest link so you will learn to support each other and I am going to put you through exercises that will make your team stronger. You will know each other's weaknesses and strengths and when you do this, you will find victory comes faster. I will also be working on your stamina and endurance because I'll be frank. You all suck!"

Jaws dropped and the only person who didn't look studded by these words was Brittany who looked at Quinn and whispered how surprised she was that Rachel was being so _nice._ Quinn stared at Rachel with a shocked expression and Santana looked both shocked and turned on by the amount of confidence Rachel was showing.

"Excuse me but who do you think you're talking to?" Elisabeth James asked with a sneer on her face as she stood up and looked Rachel in the eyes. "You will not talk to us like that, Manhands! Show us some respect!"

"And Elisabeth is about to help me demonstrate one of the new rules going into effect to build your team! As I said when one wins... You all win. When one of you loses... you all lose! So when Elisabeth does fifty suicides for poor attitude, what can we deduce will happen next?" Rachel asked with sarcasm lacing her voice as though this was going to be difficult to figure out. The rest of the team clearly figured it out because they were torn between staring at Rachel with dropped jaws and glaring at Elisabeth. "Consider this your only break! Next time I'll make it a hundred! Now move!"

"You can't do that!"

Rachel gave a dark laugh as she made her way over to Elisabeth and stood in front of her so she was looking into her eyes with a firm look on her face that made it clear she wasn't going to take nonsense. Elisabeth gulped slightly at the expression but squared her shoulders to appear as though she wasn't intimidated by this new Rachel Berry. Of course, everyone saw through her facade but they didn't say anything because they were in shock about Rachel's stone cold expression as she clearly prepared to speak to Elisabeth.

"You'll find that the coach has given me full authority! I can do whatever I please! But if you can't accept that you can leave. Just turn in your uniform on the way out," Rachel said looking Elisabeth dead in the eyes. A stunned silence fell over the group as they looked at Rachel with complete disbelief. After a few seconds, Quinn regained her composure and demanded the team get moving before she began going over the book with Rachel to point out the rules to competitions and stunts they were banned from doing after the coach decided to liven them up with fireworks and TNT.

"TNT?"

"Someone in the audience got injured."

"Jesus!" Rachel said, staring at the Cheerios who squirmed nervously at the memory.

After the suicides were finished, Rachel began running them through warm-ups and assessments to see where everyone's skills were. Quinn stood by her side the whole time, making sure Rachel knew things like weaknesses, those who were lying about weaknesses and anything else she needed to know and her presence made them listen a little better. The lessons were brutal and everyone seemed ready to collapse and Rachel pretended not to notice some of the baby cheerios hiding in the locker room... She'd lock it later. Access to the locker room during practice was a privilege, not a right. Rachel dismissed everyone but as Elisabeth passed she shoved Rachel and muttered curse words under her breath at Rachel! Rachel perked up and blew her whistle and with sarcastic enthusiasm, she addressed the whole room.

"Ladies! Elisabeth here decided she was having so much fun that she has asked me to grant you all one hundred and fifty suicides and I have decided to grant them because I'm so generous!"

Elisabeth's jaw dropped as the rest of the squad turned to glare fiercely at the girl because they had all wanted to get showered and they knew Elisabeth well enough to know she had gone and ran her mouth to get herself in trouble but because Rachel had an all for one policy... Elisabeth had to have known she'd get the whole squad punished with her words and she'd still done it anyway.

"Now... now... You can thank her later, for now, its suicide time!" Quinn snorted from Rachel's side at her words; it was clear by the glares in Elisabeth's direction that the girl was going to be receiving _a lot_ of _thank yous_ when the practice was over. She almost felt sorry for her. _Almost._ But she had it coming and hopefully, she would learn from this.

"You're a bitch!" Elisabeth cried angrily as she glared at Rachel, causing the Cheerios who had been staring baffled at Rachel all turned to glare at Elisabeth with shocked expressions as though they couldn't believe she was actually saying something like that knowing Rachel was only going to give them all more suicides.

"Oh my _god_! Shut up, Elisa!"

Rachel couldn't help but smirk at the several cheerios who had spoken up, demanding Elisabeth shut her mouth.

"What's that, Elisabeth? Wow! You want fifty more, Elisabeth! You are so generous with your team's time! But okay! I'll give you fifty more since you asked _so_ kindly... You're not going to win this battle. I can keep you here _all day_. So you can either shut up and do the suicides you earned or get the fuck out. I'm in charge now and you will listen to me or I will kick you off the team. I'm being easy on you today because this is all new but don't think that courtesy will be extended much longer. Get moving!"

Elisabeth decided to listen to Rachel and began her suicides with the rest of the team and when the bell rang, the cheerios all stopped their movements but Rachel blew her whistle.

"That bell doesn't dismiss you! I dismiss you! Keep going. Twenty more!"

When they were finished, everyone showered. When Rachel met Santana, Brittany and Quinn in the hallway, they laughed as several of the Cheerios lined up at the Slurpee machine tapping their feet impatiently waiting to get their turn to fill their cups and as soon as Elisabeth stepped out of the locker room, she was met with ten big gulps to the face.

"You better get that uniform dry cleaned, Elisa!" Quinn called out after Elisa as she ran past them, shooting a fierce glare in Rachel's direction as she angrily ran her hands up and down her now rainbow stained uniform with disgust.

"Rachel, why did you go so easy today?"

"That was easy?" Quinn whispered, staring at Rachel with newfound respect.

"It's morning. I always go soft in the morning but tomorrow afternoon will be a rude awakening for them."

And it was a rude awakening. For the next week she tore into the Cheerios and every time Elisabeth would back talk, the whole team did suicides. Yet, Elisabeth never learnt. It would be entertaining if not for the fact that it was so annoying but Rachel had to remain consistent. They improved and they came to respect Rachel and the fact that they couldn't get away with hiding or pretending to train. But Rachel gave some really good advice and had them all trying things they had never done before. She caught strengths and weaknesses that people didn't know about and for ways around them.

Elisabeth complained furiously to coach Sylvester about the fact that she was being slushied all the time and the woman told her to suck it up and do as Rachel told her to... And then proceeded to threaten her with dismissal from the team if her uniform was stained again. So finally, on the last day of the week, Elisabeth showed up to morning practice and didn't argue but she clearly was NOT happy about it.

Rachel followed Santana to their next class and rested her head on her girlfriend's shoulder while waiting for the teacher to show up. Santana chuckled and rubbed Rachel's back.

On the way to their second class, Rachel couldn't resist anymore so she grabbed Santana's hand and pulled her into an empty classroom and kissed her. Hard. The latina did not object to the kiss and gently wrapped her arms around Rachel who was enjoying the feeling of Santana's tongue in her mouth. It had been a while since they had sex and Rachel was showing no signs of regret but it also had not happened again. There were make out sessions but they hadn't gone beyond that so it was a complete shock when Rachel decided to reach her hand up Santana's top and hold onto her breasts as they kissed. At first, Santana jumped at the touch because she was shocked but once she assured Rachel she was fine, they resumed kissing and Rachel happily squeezed the 'twins'.

**"Mmm, god, Rachel!" Santana murmured as she felt herself being pushed against the classroom wall and a knee pressed against her centre which she unconsciously rubbed against. She found it so hot when Rachel took control. She knew it was what Rachel needed to be comfortable with intimacy but still; it was so hot because it was so out of character based on her personality. **

**Their kisses grew more heated and Santana's thrusts against Rachel's thigh grew quicker and more frantic as she grew more and more aroused. She planned on stopping but Rachel began trailing kisses down her neck and she lost control completely and fell over the edge into orgasm before she could completely process what happened. Rachel smiled proudly, knowing Santana had been rubbing herself against her thigh and kissed her face all over as she twitched out her orgasm, lightly grunting out in shock and pleasure. **

**"Rachel? Jesus! That... I'm sorry!" **

**"I'm not. I love your face as you cum, Santana," Rachel whispered.**

**"Yes, and I love these moments we share but now my panties are kind of... um... unwearable," Santana said as she shifted uncomfortably. She knew she had a spare pair in her locker; she always had a spare pair of underwear and a skirt since the time she got her period at school and was caught of guard. Clearly, she was going to have to have a few pairs here. **

**"I'm sorry. I just... I wanted to kiss you and... I put my knee there on purpose. I felt you grinding and kept going because I wanted to make you cum," Rachel replied frowning, clearly not having thought of the consequences. "Perhaps, I should have waited until we got home. But in my defence, you dropped your pencil in class three times and bent down in front of me."**

**"Relax, I have panties in my locker. But they're my only pair," Santana said knowing the bell was going to go soon and their free period was going to end soon so she took Rachel by the hand and guided her towards her locker. "And as for the pencil... That was just a happy accident I kept making." **

**"Are you okay? You've never done anything like that before."**

**"Well, I was having a good day and I wanted to share it with you. Sharing is caring, Santana," Rachel replied with a grin as she smiled. **

**"I love you, Rachel."**

**"I love you, too."**

During lunch, Santana was called into Miss Pillsbury's office and Rachel went to the cafeteria with Quinn and Brittany where she stayed until her stomach began churning. It had been queasy off and on for the past couple weeks but Rachel knew at that moment that she was going to be sick.

"Rachel, are you okay?" Brittany asked watching as Rachel went greener and greener. Quinn stared at between Rachel and the nearest garbage can as though expecting her to make a lunge for it; her expression was sympathetic. Empathetic. Worried.

"Excuse me!"

Rachel cried as she covered her mouth and tore out of the cafeteria, thankfully people stepped out of her way as she neared; probably because there was only ever one reason someone would be running with their mouth covered and she doubted anyone was going to get in her way to end up wearing her lunch. She vaguely heard someone running behind her but she was too focused on getting to her destination without getting sick on the floor.

In the bathroom, she just barely made it her stomach emptied and when she stepped out she was exhausted and her stomach hurt from heaving so hard. She found Quinn leaning against the counter with a sad look on her face. Rachel sighed, she had a suspicion what was wrong and clearly, Quinn was thinking the same thing because she was watching Rachel with a concerned and knowing expression on her face. So she sighed and decided to ask the question that had been on her mind since a few days ago.

"Quinn, how do you get a pregnancy test without drawing attention to yourself?"

"I have a few in my locker. Wait here," Quinn said solemnly as she backed out of the bathroom and before Rachel knew what was happening she had returned with a McDonald's bag in hand. Quinn gently talked Rachel through the test and how to take it. She didn't judge when Rachel asked questions and she answered patiently and gently. When Rachel stepped out of the stall, Quinn hugged her and handed her some tissues as she cried.

"What now?" Rachel asked, not sure if she was asking about the test or in general but she asked anyway.

"Now we wait," Quinn said, pulling Rachel to sit beside her on the floor away from the tests so Rachel couldn't sit and watch the test for the next minute.

"Why did you have these in your locker?" Rachel asked slowly as she raised her brow. There wasn't any accusation in her eyes, just curiosity.

"I've been observing you and I bought them because I suspected you might need them but I _hoped_ you didn't," Quinn replied sadly as she pulled Rachel into a hug. "I really hoped you wouldn't. Everything will be fine."

"What did it feel like?" Rachel asked suddenly.

"What did what feel like?" Quinn asked, wondering what exactly Rachel was referring to. Being pregnant, giving birth or giving Beth to someone else to raise.

"Having the baby."

"It was unimaginable pain but as soon as it ended, the pain was gone and honestly, it's as if I don't remember that it had hurt," Quinn said with a contemplative look on her face. "They say it the most painful experience in the world but you forget the pain as soon as it's over and it's true."

"Thank you for being here with me, Quinn."

All Quinn could do was nod as she gave Rachel a nervous hug.

"I took the pill, Quinn," Rachel stated in confusion.

"Perhaps, you didn't get it on time or you might have thrown it up before it could get fully into your system. We'll never know. Were you on any medications when you took it?"

"Um... oh no! ... Oh shit!"

"What?"

"I had a chest infection and I had just stopped antibiotics that day! Quinn! Why didn't I think of that sooner?" Rachel cried out, angry with herself for not remembering something like that.

"Rachel! You were stressed and hurt; nobody will blame you for forgetting a detail like that." Quinn rubbed Rachel's back. "Mistakes happen under the best of circumstances and that was the _worst_ of circumstances. Everything will be fine, I promise."

"How can you promise that?" Rachel's voice trembled as she spoke and buried her face into Quinn's neck, missing the tears in Quinn's eyes and the guilty expression on her face as Quinn once again blamed herself for what happened to her friend.

"Because everything works out eventually."

Finally, the timer on Quinn's phone went off and Rachel walked over and turned the first test around, then the second... and crumpled to the ground in a heap. Quinn hugged her tight but Rachel couldn't calm down. It was just too much for her to handle. Too much! Her brain was going in a million and one directions and she just wanted it to stop. She needed a break! She needed... She needed... She didn't know what she needed it but she needed it. And Santana. She needed Santana.

"I want San- San-"

"I'm texting her now, okay. She's probably done with Miss Pillsbury," Quinn said pulling out her phone as she rubbed Rachel's back but her scent wasn't comforting her the way Santana's did. It was helping but it wasn't the same. She needed Santana! She needed to be in her arms. She needed for this not to be happening but if it had to happen, then she wanted to be in her girlfriend's arms.

Barely a minute later, the bathroom door burst open and the second Santana spotted Rachel crying in Quinn's arms. As soon as she knelt beside her, Rachel threw her arms around her girlfriend and sobbed into her shoulder, catching her completely off guard but she managed to keep herself balanced as she lowered them both back down to the ground as she tried to look Rachel over for visible injury.

"I-I'm p-p-pregnant."

Santana stiffened before she tightened her grip and rocked Rachel gently and she began singing softly in Spanish while Rachel buried her face into Santana's neck and breathed in her girlfriend's warm vanilla scent. Santana rubbed her back and kissed the top of her head and continued singing until Rachel calmed down and even then, she pulled her into her lap and just held her.

"Are you going to break up with me?" Rachel asked miserably.

"Never. I'm here for you, no matter what you choose. I love you, Rachel."

Rachel nodded into Santana's shoulder and nuzzled closer.

"I love you, too, San... I'm scared."

"I know Rachel. Come on, let's go home. Quinn... thank you," Santana said to the blonde receiving a nod before Quinn snapped out of her silence completely, making Rachel aware that Quinn was indeed still in the bathroom with them and watching them nervously.

"Rachel... If you ever need to talk about anything you can call me and if you have any questions I will answer them. You have a difficult choice ahead of you but I will help you if you want," Quinn said holding Rachel's hand before she and Santana left the bathroom.

"Are you sure you can afford to go home?" Rachel asked.

"I only have Spanish this afternoon and then it's my study hall. You, however, are in no condition to be here and I'm not leaving you alone right now," Santana whispered. "Let's stop at the duty doctor on the way home and get them to run a test just to be sure. Tests aren't 100% accurate and I would hate for you to get all worked up over nothing."

The duty doctor was nearly empty and Rachel was only inside for about thirty minutes. She was informed they would call her in the next few hours to confirm the results of the test. Once Rachel got her insurance information sorted, she and Santana went back to the house.

On the drive home, Rachel was quiet and thoughtful. Not even the beautiful weather after days of rain or Santana putting on Rachel's favourite music was enough to break her out of her silence. It was heartbreaking to see Rachel so sad but thoughtful. She was deep in thought, letting her worries, frustrations and dark thoughts take over her mind before one worry made itself clear.

"What am I going to tell my fathers? It's bad enough I have to tell them I was... But now I'm pregnant!"

Santana watched Rachel worry for a moment and just listened as she vented out her frustrations because she clearly needed to let them out. Rachel's face was red from all of the crying she had done but so far, she hadn't thrown up from crying this time

"The doctor hasn't confirmed it yet."

"Can we snuggle, Santana? I just need to snuggle," Rachel whispered, pulling Santana towards the couch. Santana nodded sadly and pulled Rachel into her lap and rubbing her back. They sat there for a while and just listened to each other breathing until Rachel's phone broke the silence completely. For a second, they stared at the phone as though it were a landmine about to blow up in their faces before Rachel picked it up with a shaky hand.

"Hello?"

"Hi there. I'm looking for Rachel Berry?"

"This is she."

"Hi, I'm calling from doctor Wilson's office to confirm a test taken earlier, can you confirm your mailing address and birthday for me to confirm your identity?"

Rachel told the lady what she was asking for and after a few seconds, Rachel heard paper shuffling.

"Okay, this call is to inform you that your pregnancy test returned positive. Now I have sent your file to an OBGYN nearby to take your case. She is very discrete and..."

Rachel wasn't hearing anything else. Her mind had gone completely blank and her expression must have shown it because Santana wrapped her arms around her and just took the phone.

"I'm sorry but she's not listening anymore, she's in shock. Can you please call back later?"

When Santana hung up, she wrapped her arms back around Rachel who stood their blankly before she finally wrapped her arms around Santana and pulled her as close as she possibly could.

She was _pregnant._

Santana's scent brought her emotional comfort but she was still stunned, upset, confused and terrified.

She was going to have a baby. A baby was going to come out of her. As she hugged Santana, her body was making preparations to form a baby. She was going to be growing a human being inside of her uterus because of _him._ Just the idea of that happening seemed almost impossible, despite her knowing how babies were made, she had never associated pregnancy with herself. Certainly not now; she was barely even eighteen.

When teenagers get pregnant, it's supposed to be the result of a careless hook-up or a broken condom. But this was different. She was raped by the boy she had dated because his ego was wounded because she was gay. Because he was a homophobic asshole who was convinced he could make her straight by forcing her to have sex with him.

She had always pictured herself having children but that was once she was in an established marriage and settled into her career and in a home where she could happily raise a child. Once her relationship with Santana began, she pictured this relationship with her. She pictured Santana in the backyard with their children as she returned from a busy production or as she made her way to the production. She pictured their wedding rings and Santana kissing her deeply as their kids cringed and told them how gross it was to watch their mommies kiss.

But she was in high school, she didn't have a job or a house and Santana wasn't married to her... Would Santana even want to be with her now that she was carrying someone else's baby? Well, it was a stupid question because even if they had decided to have children on their own, the 'father' would be someone separate from their relationship but still; this was not how they planned it. This was just... She didn't have the words to describe how this pregnancy made her feel. But most of her fears right now centred around Santana and how she felt about this.

"This changes nothing. I'm not going anywhere _mi Estrella,_" Santana murmured as Rachel clung desperately to her and sobbed lightly into her shoulder. She loved the way Santana seemed to be able to read her mind but she had to air out something important.

"I'm not having an abortion."

She could _not_ allow herself to have an abortion. She knew there were a lot of people who would have an abortion in her situation but she couldn't do it. She might be eating meat on a semi-regular basis and now was back to regularly consuming dairy and eggs but she could not bring herself to harm an unborn child, no matter how they were conceived. This baby is innocent and pure; they had nothing to do with the acts of their biological father.

"I know, Rachel. I know. And I'm fine with that."

"What if I keep them?"

"Them?" Santana asked, not remembering hearing anything about multiples.

"I refuse to call my child an 'it' as though it as though they're not human," Rachel explained holding her belly as though assuring the fetus that she was going to constantly show them respect by not referring to them as anything short of a human being and 'it' was dehumanising. She might not have decided whether or not she was going to keep the baby but that didn't mean she wasn't going to protect, respect and take care of this baby while they were stuck together. She

"Okay. If you keep _them_ then I will do whatever I can to make that easier for you. But we'll figure it out when the time comes along. You don't have to decide right now. But for now, let's just take it easy and we'll talk later once we're calm and relaxed, okay."

"Can we take a bubble bath?"

"Sure you can. You don't need to ask to use my tub," Santana said, raising a brow as Rachel pulled her towards the bathroom.

"No, Santana. Can _we_ take a bubble bath? Together? I want a bath but I really want you to hold me," Rachel explained, causing butterflies to flutter around her stomach as she nodded happily and pulled Rachel into the bathroom.

"Are you sure about this? I want you comfortable every time you take off your clothes around me," Santana asked, knowing after something like this, Rachel's anxiety and worries were going to be triggered easier than before. She didn't know how she'd feel about them getting naked and then there were the touches that would inevitably happen once they were in the tub.

Rachel didn't answer verbally, instead, she took Santana's shirt and pulled it over her head and grinned at the site before her, while Santana found herself blushing at Rachel's boldness as she stared between her breasts and her toned abs.

"May I?"

"Yes," Rachel said, lifting her arms so Santana could take off her shirt for her. She knew Rachel could take off her clothes without warning, touch her, pet her... Whatever she wanted but she knew she could not do the same with her. Not yet and possibly not for a really long time. She had to give Rachel warning and ask for permission and be gentle at all times unless Rachel said otherwise. She was fine with this because Rachel's comfort meant a lot to her. So, therefore, she couldn't go behind her and cover her eyes and say 'guess who'. But at that moment, she was worried about giving Rachel exactly what she wanted and if she wanted to get in the bathtub with her, then that was what was going to happen.

She gently lifted Rachel's shirt off her body and made her way to the tub, where she began filling the tub with hot soapy water. When she felt a playful smack on her bottom, she turned around and raised a brow as Rachel made an oh-so-innocent face before smirking widely at Santana as though surprised that she had expected anything else to happen. As the water filled, both girls wiggled out of their pants and removed their bras while taking the time to enjoy the view in front of them.

Once the tub was filled, Santana sank into the water and gave Rachel a warm, inviting smile as she watched her girlfriend hesitate before allowing herself to sink into the water as she sat in the water between her legs. Santana smiled as Rachel allowed herself to relax into her embrace. It felt amazing being in Santana's arms completely skin to skin; it felt amazing and as she laid back, she couldn't help but sigh almost contently.

"This feels nice," Rachel sighed as she let the warm water relax her muscles and her girlfriend's arms around her torso. She could feel Santana's breasts against her bare back and it made her shudder a bit.

"Are you okay or just... enjoying this?"

"I'm enjoying this."

"Good."

"I love you, Santana."

"I love you, too, Rachel," Santana replied as she placed a gentle kiss on the back of Rachel's neck.

They stayed in the tub until the water got cold and they dried off and went to Santana's bed for some more cuddling. Rachel was in her a pair of fuzzy pyjamas and Santana was in her bra and a pair of fuzzy pyjama bottoms.

"I wanna have the baby. I don't know about keeping them but I want to go through with the pregnancy."

"I know, love. I know," Santana murmured as she picked up her brush from the end table and began brushing through Rachel's hair. Rachel gave a soft sigh as she wrapped her arms around Santana in her half sleep-half awake state and began mumbling incoherently to her in a serious tone as though her words were very important and had to be said right then and there. It wasn't clear what most of the words were and those that could be deciphered made no sense at all. She heard the words 'panda', 'clown', 'bell', 'bunny' and 'blow bubbles, Tana'. The words made no sense but in her dominantly sleep induced state, she appeared to be seeking an answer to the question she'd just asked and Santana was clueless as to what the question was, let alone how to answer it.

"We'll blow bubbles tomorrow, kay?"

"Easter tree is late and the Santa bunny needs our teeth to know if Spring's coming," Rachel sighed before nodding off the rest of the way to sleep as Santana tried to piece together her final words and finally decided to shrug knowing her girlfriend wasn't even aware of what she was saying but she promised bubbles in the morning and she would blow bubbles with her, even if it confused the crap out of her... Which it most likely would but she was a Lopez and she wasn't going to fall back on her word. So she fired a text to Quinn asking her to pick up some bubble solution and drop it off in the morning. Quinn had replied curiously but she agreed to do it.

When Quinn showed up in the morning with Brittany and a ton of bubble solution bottles, Rachel stared at the bottles in confusion as Santana pulled them all to the porch.

"Santana? What are we doing?"

Rachel had felt sick for a huge part of the morning and now her stomach had settled, she was in a better mood.

"You wanted to blow bubbles... Well, technically, you wanted _me_ to blow bubbles... So..."

With those words, Santana took a bottle of solution, opened it and blew some bubbles into Rachel's face. Rachel grinned but she had no idea what her girlfriend was talking about.

"When did I say this?"

"Last night. You were half asleep but I promised I'd blow bubbles, so I'm blowing bubbles."

"And you said something about the Santa Bunny needing out teeth to know if spring was coming."

"Now you're making stuff up," Rachel said as she choked out her laughter but it was clear Santana wasn't joking. "The Santa Bunny? I don't know what that means."

"Good, neither do I."

When they were finished blowing bubbles, an activity Rachel found so very satisfying, they curled up on the couch, Rachel curled up in Santana's arms while Brittany snuggled with Quinn.

"Santana, I'm hungry," Rachel muttered. "So, I'm going to..."

"Sit here while I go make you something. What would you like, Rachel?" Santana said as she began to stand up.

"Bacon and eggs but you don't have to. I can..."

"Ooh, San! I have a recipe for bacon omelette that's amazing! Quinn loved it!" Brittany said standing up abruptly, causing Quinn to tumble slightly at the unexpected movement. "Sorry, Quinnie. Come on, Santana. No, Rachel, you sit! Quinn, keep her here!"

Quinn smirked at Brittany before gently taking Rachel's hand and pulling her back to the couch against her.

"How are you doing, Rachel?"

"I'm scared, Quinn. I'm really scared," Rachel muttered, burying her face into Quinn's neck and just letting her friend hold her.

"Rachel," Quinn said, her voice trembling as tears began dripping down her face. "I'm so sorry!"

"For what?"

"Everything! If we hadn't kissed, _he_ wouldn't have done what he had done and... and... I'm so..."

"Quinn, no! Don't do this!" Rachel said, grabbing Quinn's face and making her look into her eyes. "You didn't make him do anything. Yes, we kissed, yes he was wounded but there was more to his actions than what we did. He is a sick individual but _you_ had nothing to do with his actions. Don't you _dare_ blame yourself, Quinn Fabray! I'm pretty sure its something he would have done whether or not I had kissed you because _I am GAY_ and he's _not _okay with that. He is the only person responsible for _his _actions."

"Do you regret what we did?"

"Do you want the truth?"

"Yes."

"I love Santana but you and I almost went all the way and I kind of regret not doing so because it meant my _first time_ was violent and horrible. He took my virginity, Quinn. I'll never get it back and as much as I cringe at the idea that I almost lost it to you on your parents' coach for the sake of experimentation, it would have been preferable compared to what happened. I'll probably always carry these scars now but I don't regret what we did because it helped me figure out who I am. Sure, I'd have prefered Santana to be my first and in a way, she was and will be but I'd sooner have given _you_ my first time than _him."_

_"_So, you and Santana..."

"We've been... testing the waters."

Quinn looked at Rachel with a look of contemplation before giving Rachel a small smile.

"And you're okay with that? You're comfortable with doing that?"

"I'm fine. She's amazing and so patient with me. I love her, Quinn," Rachel replied slowly. "It's not been easy but it's getting better. Brittany's advice made a difference."

"You know, if you ever want to talk about the baby... or anything else, I'm here for you. Just call, day or night and I'll be right there," Quinn said in a kind tone.

"I'll keep that in mind. Do you regret what we did Quinn? Now that you know that you aren't responsible for what happened?"

"No. If I hadn't done it, I would have never begun exploring my own sexuality and I would have still been closeted to myself entering relationship after relationship with guys I'd never be into," Quinn said firmly.

"So... you're..."

"I'm gay, Rachel," Quinn said as she smiled proudly to herself at her announcement. "I don't _want_ to be and my family will absolutely hate it and _me_ when they find out but... what I feel when I'm with Brittany... It's beyond anything I could have ever imagined. I think I might love her."

"Well, I'm proud of you, Quinn. I'm going to hug you, now, okay?" Rachel said as she pulled Quinn into her arms and hugged her close until someone cleared their throat. Santana and Brittany were both sitting on the couch with four plates of delicious looking Omelettes. Rachel's stomach let out a loud growl and she pulled away from Quinn and dove into Santana's arms.

"Congrats, Quinn. That's a big step you just made," Santana said giving Quinn a smile she rarely gave her friend but it was moments like this she was happy to show affection to them. As much as she had teased Quinn about being gay in the past, she was happy that her friend had finally accepted her sexuality and she was low-key thrilled that Quinn had decided not to play the bisexual card because she knew Quinn well enough to know she was not bisexual.

"I'm glad Quinnie accepted she's a unicorn. Isn't it great, San! We're all unicorns!" Brittany exclaimed as she pulled her girlfriend in for a tight hug.

That was how the rest of the day was spent; blowing bubbles, talking and just relaxing while Rachel and Brittany excitedly planned Rachel's return to Gymnastics and her plans for the girls to get them back into shape. When Brittany and Quinn left, Rachel pulled Santana in for a deep kiss before she looked into her eyes.

"I love you, Santana Lopez."

"And I love you, Rachel Berry."

They fell asleep in each other's arms, for a few minutes, they could dismiss their troubles and worries and just enjoy each other's presence. For a few minutes, they could just be two teenagers in love. For those few moments, they were free of their problems and one hundred percent happy. And they both wished the moment would last forever.

**Ooh, looks like things are settling down huh? I decided to throw in a little bit of fluff and a bit of Pezberry loving. But Rachel Berry is officially pregnant. I can honestly see a pregnancy occurring this way because it's not widely taught that birth control is rendered useless by antibiotics and I can attest to this by the simple fact that I EXIST. Once again, thank you for reading, reviewing, favouriting and following. **

**And finally: Happy Pride Month. I am working on a story that I will be releasing on Pride week (July 22-28th) I'm not sure which day but I am planning a Brittany/Santana/Rachel story inspired by Annie. I'm also working on a few other one-shots and multi-chapters. **


	8. Puck

**Another chapter! And let me start of by saying Happy Canada Day to my fellow Canadians (And Happy Fourth of July to our neighbours down south... I'm not sure the holiday greeting for the fourth of July because I've never celebrated it) I hope y'all are safe, drink carefully and DO NOT DRINK AND DRIVE, please! Call a cab, stay the night... just don't drive drunk.**

**And remember to use fireworks safely, put out any bonfires and be careful drinking around open water. Okay, so I'm done nagging now, let's move on to warnings and the story. **

**WARNING: Includes homophobic slurs, light violence, cursing, and mentions of sexuality.**

**Chapter Rating: T+ (It is not M level violence)**

**Note: Morning sickness is different from person to person and pregnancy to pregnancy. Also, I threw in some Fluff at the end because Rachel deserves some fluff. **

**I am so excited to have written this chapter. I am always hesitant to create and introduce new characters to any of my stories. **

**Packer82: Thank you for your support. And thank you for continuing to read :D**

**Masha: That is a brilliant idea. Thank you so much! I think I might include that in the next chapter since it includes Rachel's father's reactions, so maybe I can dedicate to the parents involved. **

**Bigmac1989: (Love the name BTW) Thank you. I want to remain consistent with Rachel and her need for control because I want it to be well understood how much of an accomplishment it is for her to be able to trust Santana with her intimately and as she gets more comfortable, she'll become more open and receptive. Most importantly, it is important to show that her trust and comfort with Santana grows. **

**Guest: Thank you, so much!**

**And to my fellow readers! Thank you for sticking around! I wish I could tell you Rachel's journey is going to get easier and the following chapters would be fluffy kittens and puppies but I can't, I'm sorry. **

**ALSO: Start dropping baby names! I will NOT reveal the gender yet but I want to hear your name suggestions. **

* * *

"I took your advice, Britt," Rachel informed her friend when she asked how things were going between her and Santana. Rachel was looking for a diversion from her stomach which had begun twisting and turning while she was at a cafe with Brittany, Quinn and Santana. She was sitting on the bathroom floor with her back against the wall while Brittany stood patiently by her side with a cup of ginger ale and a warm smile on her face.

"The bedroom advice? Oh, Rachel. I'm happy for you!" Brittany said with a wide smile. "You deserve to be happy."

This kind of conversation between Brittany and Rachel was not new. When they were twelve, Brittany had shown Rachel how to put in a tampon because her fathers had been less than prepared for the job. After getting that close and personal, they got comfortable talking about everything from masturbation to bras. This, however, was the first time she had spoken of her sex with Santana to her. Rachel had wanted to be sure it was okay with Santana to talk about what they did and how it made her feel. This had been fine with Santana because she knew how important it was for Rachel to talk to someone who understood.

"We have had sex once... Well, technically, I had sex with her and then I just took care of myself in her arms. It was amazing. How long was it before you could be touched?" Rachel asked as her stomach gave yet another jolt; a warning. She could feel her mouth filling up with drool already.

"It took a while. But like I said, one day, it just kind of happened. We were fooling around and I decided to take it further... So we did," Brittany explained. "You can't plan these things, Rachel. They just happen. One day you might be able to give the green light and then a week later, you might cry while it's happening and if you need to cry, cry. Santana loves you and she won't be insulted."

"I like making her happy," Rachel explained with a smile.

"I know but remember if you're uncomfortable to stop."

"Speaking of stopping, I wish my _stomach_ would listen when I ask _it_ to stop," Rachel said as she pulled herself towards the toilet, she was once again losing the battle she always managed to convince herself she was going to win and so far had always lost. It was sad but she still liked to try because she _hated_ throwing up so much. "I don't think you're going to want to see this, Britt."

"Nonsense!" Brittany cried out as she made her way to Rachel's side as she got herself comfortable around the toilet just in time to pour the contents of her coffee and muffin from her mouth. She felt a hand rub her back as she heaved, making ugly sounds that were no doubt making the people at nearby tables feel all kinds of uncomfortable and probably wondering if it was the food from the restaurant making her sick because why else would a teenager be throwing up in the middle of a cafe? Of course, pregnancy wouldn't come up in their minds.

And it would remain that way until her stomach eventually swelled to the point where she could no longer deny the presence of a growing human being inside of her. Her baby. It was a thought that made her cringe inwardly as she still struggled to connect that particular thought to the reality of her life. That she was _having a baby._

She looked down at her still flat belly and found herself unable to believe there was a baby in there. She rested her hand on her belly and felt nothing other than skin. She knew there was a baby in there but it still seemed so unrealistic when she actually looked down at herself. And then she panicked wondering how exactly this baby was going to _fit_ down there and worse... Come out of her! The idea was... it was just so _painful_. And combined with the morning sickness, she wondered why the population hadn't died out yet because _why_ would anyone in their right mind put their bodies through that. It was barbaric and borderline masochistic.

But apparently, the instinct to populate overwrites logic. Unless you are Rachel Berry and there was less instinct and more force but her choice to carry on with the pregnancy was strictly her choice but as she throws up for the third time that day, she begins to re-evaluate her decision. Not so much re-evaluate, simply wish for an easier solution where she doesn't kill off a human life but doesn't make her throw up multiple times a day and doesn't involve something the size of a small watermelon passing from somewhere so delicate.

"Oh, Rachel. Let it out. That's it. See, it's over now," Brittany said as Rachel stopped heaving before falling back against a warm human form.

"Thanks, Britt."

"You're welcome."

Brittany's voice was coming from across the bathroom. But if Brittany was over by the sink wetting paper towel, whose arms was she resting in?

She must have tensed obviously because she felt fingers run through her hair.

"Are you going to be sick again, mi Estrella?"

"Oh, god, Santana! I didn't know who that was!" Rachel cried, turning around and burying her face into her girlfriend's shoulder, embarrassed by the fact that she was shaken up at all.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I wasn't expecting you to fall back like that. I didn't mean to scare you," Santana replied as she kissed Rachel's cheek sweetly before lifting her the rest of the way into her lap. "We'll sit here for a few more minutes until we know you're done."

It had been a week since she found out she was pregnant and it was safe to safe morning sickness had kicked into full effect... Morning, afternoon, evening... The only foods the formally vegan girl were able to keep down at all was bacon, eggs and ice cream but only chunky monkey and caramel crunch. Anything else was best simply thrown into the toilet because that was where it was going to go. She found herself drinking ginger ale like water and Quinn introduced her to peppermint gum which offered her brief comfort from the constant nausea when it was in full swing.

"Can we go home, soon? I don't feel well. I think I'm done throwing up but..."

"Absolutely. We'll go out, wait for Quinn and Britt to finish eating and then we'll go home. Do you want to watch a movie?"

"And snuggles?" Rachel's voice was weak and her stomach was sore from vomiting but she had a small smile on her face as she rested against Santana's chest.

"Of course! I could never _not_ snuggle you when we watch a movie!"

"Even if I threw up on you last time?"

That had been a particularly bad day; Santana had fallen asleep with Rachel nuzzled to her chest when the pregnant diva had awakened to nausea. She had opened her mouth to wake Santana so she could move her arm and she did wake her... By emptying her stomach onto her chest. To Santana's defence, she didn't curse, yell or even groan because she seemed more concerned with Rachel and the way she was coughing afterwards. But afterwards, they both hopped in the shower together and Rachel spent most of it in Santana's arms before making the request that they crawl in bed naked because cuddling skin to skin felt so nice. It was honestly the best night sleep she had had in a while.

"I don't care if you do it again. That was one really nice shower and I got to sleep naked with you and I didn't mind waking up with you feeling up my ass," Santana replied smirking.

At some point throughout the night, she had turned so she was facing Santana and when she woke up, she was cupping her firm butt with her hands. She didn't even realise what it was until Santana began moaning every time she moved her hands or gave the tissue a gentle squeeze because the skin felt so nice in her hands. Unfortunately, the pleasure didn't last long because Rachel had to make a hasty escape to the bathroom, hence killing the mood quite effectively... It was for the best because they had planned this trip to the lima bean for a few days. Rachel had been feeling like going out with friends like a normal teenager whose life wasn't a complete disaster would.

They made their way out to the table and Quinn gave Rachel a sympathetic pat on the shoulder as she sat down, clearly remembering her own nightmares with morning sickness. It was not something she enjoyed at all and clearly, Rachel was having a worse go with it than she had and if just felt so completely wrong.

Quinn had had consensual sex and gotten pregnant, her morning sickness was barely a problem. She threw up one a day, twice at most.

But Rachel got raped and her morning sickness was twice as bad and the only foods she could keep down were foods she was morally opposed to eating... Or used to be morally opposed to. It appeared as though Rachel had made peace with her nature as an omnivore and was consuming meat regularly.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Santana asked as Rachel began taking slow sips of her ginger ale, her stomach already growling loudly. If there was one thing she appreciated about the morning sickness, it was the fact that once she was done actually _being sick_ her stomach seemed to recover swiftly as though it had never happened. It was something that went away quickly and she appreciated it but she didn't like not knowing from meal to meal whether or not something would _actually_ say down.

"I'm fine, San. If not, I'll let you know," Rachel replied nestling into Santana's side, enjoying the feelings that passed through her as she felt her girlfriend breath contently against her.

"Okay," Santana replied, slightly apprehensive about Rachel staying out any longer then she had to while she was feeling sick. Even if she was hungry, Rachel's stomach had a way of turning unpredictably without much warning at all. "Let me know if you need to go home and we'll leave immediately."

"I'm fine, sweetie. Quinn, we were going to head home after we're done eating and just take it easy. I'm feeling kind of tired after... that."

"Hello, Beautiful ladies... And Santana."

"Noah," Rachel greeted the Mohawk boy with a warning tone as she watched him stand proudly by the table looking at both Brittany and Quinn as though wondering which one was going to flirt with him first. If only he knew Quinn was gay and Brittany, though bi, only had eyes for Quinn. Besides, Lord Tubbington didn't like Puck, so she obviously could not be with a boy her cat didn't approve of. But Lord Tubbington loved Quinn and Quinn let him sleep on her lap when they were doing homework. Rachel knew that all meant something to Brittany and she was happy to defend Brittany using those arguments if she had to.

"What?"

"Be nice, Noah," Rachel warned as she scooted into a more friendly and less intimate embrace with Santana. "What brings you here, anyway?"

"My mum," Puck replied, grinning at Rachel. " She says papa H and papa L are coming back home and I was wondering if the BBQ was still on?"

Rachel rolled her eyes and for the first time since her incident, turned to a male who wasn't Kurt and gave him a cheeky expression before she began talking.

"Have my dads ever returned from a trip and _not_ thrown a backyard roasting of various animal carcases while their friends and family get inhibited?" Rachel said, unable to put any bite into the animal carcase part because her craving for bacon was much like Quinn's and therefore she wasn't going to rant on about the murder of animals now, only to go home and eat her weight in bacon. In fact, the amount of bacon and eggs she had eaten took away all of her arguments against meat.

Honestly, she couldn't see herself going back to veganism; not after experiencing the taste of pure heaven that was chicken, bacon carbonara and Alfredo... Oh, those foods were like an orgasm in her mouth... Especially the way Santana made it with baked parm on top.

"No..."

"Well, there's your answer, Noah," Rachel replied before she gave Puck a sarcastic smile.

"Puck knows your fathers?" Santana asked Rachel as she looked between her girlfriend and friend.

"Of course! Uncle LeRoy is my mother's brother! It would be hard not to know Rachel!" Puck said, reaching to pat Rachel's shoulder only to have the gesture dodged. It was weird because he and Rachel were always close, hugging, patting each other's shoulders and whatnot. She had never dodged his acts of affection before.

"Seriously!" Santana cried out looking between the two and trying not to act as shocked as she really was. "And you're just telling me now?"

"You never asked."

Santana glared at Puck who raised his arms innocently.

"I was talking to Rachel," Santana said in a joking tone as she turned to face her girlfriend, oblivious to the man who'd been walking past them and froze upon hearing Rachel's name. He made his way over to the table with a look of forced indifference because he was certain this was the girl he was looking for just by the site of her. He was never wrong about this sort of thing.

"Are you by chance, Rachel Berry?"

The man was familiar in a way that made her throat dry as she unconsciously nestled closer to Santana, finding comfort in her girlfriend's strong heartbeat against her as the man seemed to glare at her. Of course, Santana glared back which actually caused the made to step back a pace as he eyes Santana carefully before turning to face Rachel.

"Um... yes."

Her tone came out slow and nervous as all of her anxiety seemed to return at once as she began wishing the chairs would allow her to climb into Santana's lap. She did not feel safe anymore and she just wanted to be invisible. She just wanted this strange man to go away. She just wanted to be back at Santana's in her arms, their skin touching in every possible way. She wanted to feel Santana butt in her hands because it was so calming to squeeze her booty. But now, all she could do was stare nervously at the man in front of her as his face shifted from indifference to a full-on glare as he sneered in her direction. The second he stepped closer, the smell of stale liquor wafter off of him, causing Quinn, Puck and Santana to crinkle their noses and Rachel's stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch.

"You should be ashamed of yourself, you filthy dyke!"

The entire room seemed to freeze at this man's words as he stood in front of a group of teenagers and yelled at them. Santana's face shifted from apprehension to pure rage as she began shaking; if it wasn't for Rachel trembling in her arms and seeking her comfort, she would already be going Lima Heights on him.

"Excuse me! What the fuck did you just say?" Santana demanded, keeping her voice even so as not to scare Rachel.

"And just who do you think you are?" Quinn demanded furiously, her nerves were still there but she was good at hiding her fear as she prepared to defend her friend as Brittany gripped her arm, her fingernails digging into her arm as she also began nervously trembling into Quinn's embrace. Quinn didn't even think as she pulled Brittany against her side and wrapped an arm around her waist.

"I am Max Hudson!" Rachel stiffened almost violently at his words as her face went pale and fear began coursing through her body, rendering her almost completely motionless. Santana rubbed her back without thinking as she turned to glower at the man whose familiarity was beginning to make sense. He had the same stupid, gassy expression as his son and his attempt to look fierce was doing nothing more than making him look like a constipated child.

"You honestly think you're going to get away with ruining my son's life, accusing him of rape like some type of common criminal! I don't know why you would do such a thing to an honourable boy like my son Finn!"

Santana sneered right back at the man, only remaining seated because of Rachel's grip against her arm, otherwise, she'd be showing that idiot her firsts! "That's because he did rape her!"

"No! He didn't! She wanted it, even if the little dyke didn't know she wanted it. He was doing her a favour, the stupid little cunt should be grateful he tried to fix her. But how dare she turn around and say..."

_Crack!_

The man seemed to stagger slightly as Puck's fist connected with the side of his face, putting a stop to his words which were causing tears to stream down Rachel's now chalky white face as she turned to bury her face into her girlfriend, finally able to move for the first time as her body seemed to release her from its paralysing fear the second the man lost eye contact with her.

"Step away from my cousin, you cock sucking, son of a bitch or I will make you leave in a body bag! And don't think I won't! I will happily go to jail for my family!" Puck said as he released the man's sweater and shoved him back violently away from the table and taking satisfaction in watching him hit a nearby table. Nobody moved to help the man up and one person even gave Puck a thumbs up. Who walked into a public establishment and began yelling at teenagers like that! Specifically, a teenage girl who was obviously scared shitless.

One of the staff members had snuck out back to call the cops while her coworker began filming the incident just in case.

"Fine! This isn't over, Berry!"

The man jolted away from the table as soon as he saw Puck take an angry step towards him, his face was filled with unmistakable rage and fury; it was clear he meant every word he was saying.

"Okay, what's going on?"

However, when he looked to Rachel for an answer, all he could see was her squirming away from Santana. "You tell him, San. I... sick... now!"

As soon as Rachel was out of Santana's arms, she bolted towards the bathroom with her hand firmly pressed to her mouth, causing customers to snap out of their shocked stupors and throw themselves out of her path as she came closer. One woman threw herself too far and hit a garbage can in her hasty attempt to get away from Rachel who was gagging loudly as she threw the bathroom door open.

"I'll go check on her," Brittany said standing up and running quickly after her friend who's retches could be heard from the table. "Quinn, can you buy us a bottle of ginger ale?"

Quinn nodded stiffly as she went to the counter only to have the bottle shoved into her hands.

"It's on the house! Your entire table's order will be refunded to your cards. We do not allow people like that into our establishment! Please accept our sincerest apologies," the lady spoke remorsefully as she listened to Rachel's noises.

"Thank you. We're going to be heading out as soon as she's... done," Quinn told the woman, watching as relief flooded her face followed by guilt.

"That fucking bastard did _what_ to _my baby cousin!_"

Puck's rage could be heard through the entire cafe as he pounded his fists angrily to the table. "I'm gonna kill him! I am going to fucking _kill_ him and his good for nothing fucking father!"

"Look, Puck, calm down," Santana said calmly... Well, actually she was forcing calmness but in reality, she wanted to scream and punch with Puck but she knew it was a bad idea. She had to stay calm. But she was every bit as angry on the inside as Puck was. Ugh, it was moments like this that she hated being an adult but she cared more for Rachel then she did yelling and stomping her feet.

"Calm down! Calm down!" Puck cried, the reality clearly not registering in his mind that him being in a fit of rage when Rachel returned. He had no idea how badly Rachel would freak out. And yet, his rant kept going. "After what he did to Rachel, I'll calm down once he's dead!"

"Puck," Santana said as she put her hand on Puck's shoulder.

"No! He hurt my family! My cousin! I..."

"How do you think she'll react to seeing you like this? Not well and then I'll have to kill you for scaring my girl!" Santana growled, missing the fact that she had just old Puck that Rachel was her girl. But Puck didn't seem to catch on to this fact either, otherwise, he would have said something.

"I... I'm just... I wanna kill him, San!" Puck said to Santana as he forced himself to talk calming, soothing breaths. Puck and Santana had been friends since they were in nappies and they understood each other, so when Puck said this, she understood what he was saying and her heart went out to him.

"I know, me too, Puck. But that piece of shit's in prison and we can't reach him, so you might as well calm down before Britt and Rach get back, cause if you scare them any more than they already are..."

"Lima heights... got it, San," Puck finished for Santana, earning him a scowl before she gave a small grin at her friend who knew her so well. "Can I..."

"I think Rachel needs to go home now," Brittany nervously said from behind Puck. Rachel was clinging to her side as she spoke but as soon as Santana opened her arms, Rachel dove into them and buried her face into Santana's neck. Puck stared on completely confused. He knew they were close now but to see them this close was different and to see Santana being the nurturing and comforting was unnerving because he had never seen her act this caring and loving towards anyone. When he was upset, sometimes she'd pat his shoulder and tell him to shake it off at most but this was different. She was letting Rachel nuzzle her and she was holding the trembling girl closer.

Of course, his sadness included things like his first break-up and the cancellation of his favourite show. The one and only time Santana had hugged him to comfort him was the time he had a meltdown over Beth and that was something Santana couldn't tell him to simply 'shake off'. And even then, the hug had been tense, awkward and left both of them feeling weird. Afterwards, they'd gotten drunk. That was how they dealt with their emotions together. But with Rachel, it was different. She was putting her entire heart and soul into soothing Rachel.

And it was devastating to see Rachel so upset, scared and vulnerable. He knew something was up with her because she simply wasn't acting like herself. She no longer took over in glee and she had joined the Cheerios which did something for her confidence but she was still nervous and jumpy... And now he knew why. It was heartbreaking! It was terrifying.

And it was all his fault. Entirely.

"I really failed you, didn't I?" Puck asked looking at the floor.

"What? No!" Rachel cried from Santana's arms, turning to Puck with her tear stained face.

"I did, Rachel! I promised to protect you and now... I pretty much let this happen to you! I should have... Rachel! I'm so sorry!"

A tear fell down Puck's cheek as he looked at his cousin, so broken and hurt; he should have been around more, done _something_ to stop this.

"Puck, you didn't!" Rachel insisted, resting her face against Santana's chest but watching her cousin closely as she spoke.

"No! I failed as your cousin and my 'friend' hurt you! I should have... I should have! I... I'm sorry, Rachel. I'm so sorry..."

And like that, Noah Puckerman broke down into a heap of uncontrollable tears. Rachel scooted off Santana's lap and put her hand on her cousin's shoulder.

"You can't control someone else's actions. I made my choice to get involved with him and _he_ made his choice. It was out of your control. You can't protect me 24/7. You're only human Puck!" Rachel finished, wishing she was comfortable enough to hug her cousin but she simply wasn't comfortable. So she settled for resting a hand on his shoulder.

"You... called me Puck. You've never called me Puck before."

"I'll keep calling you Puck if you try to stop blaming yourself for what happened!" Rachel insisted softly. "It was not your fault. You're not my keeper. I know you promised to try and keep me safe but somethings just happen. I will never blame you! There is only one person who will be blamed and it's not you!"

She would not blame anyone for Finn's actions, except maybe herself but never Puck, never Quinn... It wasn't their fault.

"I'll try. Are you okay? You look kind of sick still."

"I'm fine... Morning sickness," Rachel explained casually but Puck's jaw dropped as confusion clouded his expression. _Morning sickness._ That meant...

"You're pregnant?"

"Didn't San explain everything to you?" Rachel asked her cousin who looked confused, worried and speechless. It was as though this was the last thing in the world he ever expected and he wasn't sure how to process this. For a second he looked like he was ready to cry again but he seemed to shake himself back to a clear state of mind.

"I wasn't sure you wanted that to be revealed to him. I told him only the basics," Santana explained to Rachel as she rested her hand on her girlfriend's shoulder.

"Rachel?"

"I'm pregnant and I'm going to have them. I haven't decided if I'm going to keep them but I am going through with this pregnancy," Rachel informed Puck, causing his jaw once again to drop.

"Them? As in more than one!" Puck cried out, picturing Rachel with two or three screaming babies clinging to her. It was loud and messy... So messy!

"Puck! I'm not going to dehumanize my baby by referring to an unborn child as 'it'!"

"Yeah Puck... Duh," Santana said to Puck who raised his arms up in defence about the fact that he didn't figure this out. But the second he turned around, Rachel shot her girlfriend a look. Santana just raised her arms up and gave Rachel a quirky expression that made her give a small grin.

"Can we go, San?" Rachel asked, curling back into Santana's arm, her stomach was already twisting slightly and she just wanted to curl up in Santana's living room and watch a movie.

"We're gonna go, Puck. You wanna come to hang out?" Santana offered when she saw the look on Puck's face.

"Sure, Satan," Puck said softly

"Kay," Santana said in a tone completely different from the one she used when she spoke with Rachel. It wasn't as gentle, kind or sweet but it was nice to hear Santana talk that way because, in a way, it told Rachel that she was one of the few people who go to see the softer side of Santana. It was as though it was something special and she was always softer and kinder around her, so it was even more special. It was something they shared just between the two of them.

"Okay, how about I go and pick up something and meet you back at Rachel's?"

"Actually, we're going to mine, Puck."

Puck turned to Santana with confusion in his eyes.

"We... Why?"

"It's where she's comfortable," Santana said. Rachel looked at Puck and she could see the offer in his eyes before he even made it. He was going to ask if Rachel wanted to stay with him and she knew she didn't want to. As much as she loved her cousin, he was not the face she wanted to wake up to when she had a nightmare. He wasn't the one she wanted to hold as she fell asleep and he certainly did not have the lips she wanted to kiss when she woke up.

"Puck. I really don't want to be anywhere but Santana's right now."

"Okay, I'll pick up The Incredibles and meet you at Santana's place," Puck said, knowing his cousin's favourite superhero movie was something he could offer to hopefully make her laugh.

"Okay, let's go. My girl needs to go home and gets some snuggles," Santana said as she pulled Rachel to her feet and guided her to her car, leaving Puck with Quinn and Brittany who were clearing up the table.

"I feel bad for the people who work here. Rachel got sick on the floor."

"Did Santana just call Rachel her girl?" Puck asked, cluing in on Santana's words for the first time since they were uttered.

"Santana really _did_ keep her explanation brief," Quinn muttered as she pulled Brittany out the door. "See you at Santana's."

And Puck was left on his own to try and figure out exactly what Quinn was getting at. It was moments like this that women truly baffled him.

* * * LINEBREAK * * *

The ride back to Santana's was brief and by the time they arrived, Rachel found herself running to the nearest bathroom. It was always difficult for Santana to see her girlfriend so miserable but there was nothing they could so for her morning sickness. But honestly, the vomiting happening now seemed to be an emotional reaction, so as soon as Rachel finished in the bathroom, she pulled her into her arms and rubbed Rachel's shoulders as Brittany and Quinn let themselves into the living room.

When Puck showed up, he stared at the couples on the couch and shrugged before putting the movie on. When Rachel began eating bacon, Puck stared at the bacon and back to Rachel.

"Damn, your tofu bacon looks better every time!"

"It's not tofu."

"Wait a minute, Rachel, you're eating meat!" Puck asked, completely shocked to hear his cousin was eating bacon and Rachel didn't blame him. She was the one who had always lectured him for eating chicken and screamed at him for jokingly offering her steak. She could only imagine how shocking it was to see her eating bacon.

"It's one of the few things I can keep down and one of the fewer things I actually want to eat," Rachel explained from her spot in Santana's lap.

"Okay, you're lucky you're upset, otherwise, I'd have so much to say to you right now," Puck said but there was no bite his tone, only humour.

"Don't threaten my girl," Santana purred, as she kissed Rachel's lips tenderly. Rachel leaned into the kiss for a second before curling more comfortably into her embrace.

"Are you two dating?" Puck asked, causing Quinn to roll her eyes as she stared at the boy she had stupidly decided to have sex with.

"Oh my god! Obviously!"

"Quinn," Brittany scolded from Quinn's arms where she was watching the movie. "Not everyone can figure out the _obvious_ like we can. Not all of us are as intellectually evolved and some of us are just dumb!"

Brittany leaned in and kissed Quinn lightly as Puck crossed his arms at the very obvious insult being thrown in his direction from his cousin. It was nothing new and he took it as a sign that Rachel was feeling better.

"Are they dating?" Puck asked, pointing to the two blondes with a wide smile on his face as he began to visualise them in the bedroom; something he obviously wouldn't do with Santana and Rachel but there was no blood relation between him and either of the blondes.

"Are you retarded?" Santana asked in place of an answer to Puck who was busy thinking about the two blondes getting at it... Or he did until Santana's foot 'accidentally' jerked and hit him in his shoulder.

"Be nice, San," Rachel said softly as she snuggled Santana closer, causing the fierce Latina to practically melt. As long as Rachel was content, she was content and if she was content snuggling her in front of their friends, then she would snuggle her in front of their friends.

"Fine."

Puck cracked an imaginary whip, making a cracking sound with his mouth, earning him a frown from Rachel.

"I will ends you, Puckerman!" Santana growled playfully at her friend as she rested her head on top of Rachel's who placed herself in a position that made it impossible for her girlfriend to move towards her cousin.

"Bring it," Puck laughed.

"Ugh, you're lucky my girl's getting her snuggle on... Otherwise, I'd be showing you how it's done in Lima Heights!" Santana growled out playfully before purred as she felt Rachel nuzzle closer. She loved it when Rachel was closer enough that their hearts seemed to beat as one. It filled her with such contentment and joy to be that close, knowing she was bringing her such comfort by simply being there. She loved knowing something so small could make Rachel and herself feel so much better.

But then again, anything that brought a smile to Rachel's face or even brought her to ease was enough to make her smile.

The rest of the day was spent watching movies and Santana and Quinn trying not to laugh when Puck knew all of the lyrics to Frozen and could easily sing along to all of the songs. It was a testimony to how often he had watched the movies, clearly on his own because this was the first time Rachel had watched the movie with him. It was hilarious watching him belting out the lyrics to Let It Go because it was clear he sang the song more than the others.

By the time Quinn, Brittany and Puck went home, Rachel was exhausted. Santana scooped Rachel into her arms and carried her upstairs. Santana's room was warm and familiar and as soon as they crossed into the room, Rachel gave a sigh of contentment.

Once upon a time, the room had been foreign and new; now it was the most comforting place in the world. It was the room where everything seemed to become less scary and smelled one hundred percent like Santana. That alone made the room feel safe. Any place that smelt like Santana made her feel safe and now it filled her with love, too.

"Santana?"

Santana paused from where she stood; she was about to dig out some pairs of pyjamas for Rachel and herself to wear for bed. When she turned around, she found Rachel biting her lip nervously as though she were hesitant to ask for whatever she was going to ask for. Usually, she only got like that when it involved help in the bath, Santana joining her in the bath or anything else that Rachel thought Santana would decline. It was clear, Rachel didn't understand how little there was that she would actually say no to and that would only be if she thought Rachel was asking for something she honestly wasn't ready for.

"What's up, Rachel? Are you feeling sick?"

"No... I just. I want to... Well, I liked it when we..."

Santana raised a confused brow. She knew Rachel wasn't trying to ask for sex; Rachel was too jumpy and nervous since the incident at the lima bean to make Santana think this had anything to do with sex but there was something in her tone that told her it was _somewhere_ along those lines.

"Rachel, calm down and ask me," Santana said, unsure how to proceed until she knew what her girlfriend wanted.

"I liked the way we slept this morning..." Again her words cut off as she bit her lips, blushing profusely.

"What about it?" Santana asked, kneeling in front of her, watching as her blush grew redder. She took Rachel's hand and looked into her eyes, unsure what was making Rachel blush. They had spooned that morning like they did every night. It wasn't different. Was she referring to the fact that they had slept with their chests together? Facing each other? Did she want them to sleep like that? But why would she blush about that? If she wanted to nuzzle her chest instead of spooning, she was fine with that.

"Here, let's get in our pyjamas and we'll sleep however you want."

"I don't want to put pyjamas on," Rachel replied. "I want to sleep how we slept this morning... _After_ our shower," Rachel said emphasising the word after and suddenly, it became clear _exactly_ what she was attempting to request. She wasn't talking about the position exactly, she was talking about their state of clothes. She wanted to sleep naked with her.

"Oh, Rachel? Are you sure?"

For Santana, sleeping naked was natural. She didn't start wearing sleepwear regularly until Rachel started sleeping with her every night. She had no problem sleeping naked at all but she would _not_ do it unless she was 100% sure it was what Rachel wanted.

She cupped Rachel's face gently so she could look into her eyes to make sure Rachel was fine with them taking their clothes off and actually touching each other, even if there was no sex involved, once she fell asleep, she would not be able to control where her hands wondered and if she cupped Rachel's butt and triggered a flashback, she didn't think she could forgive herself.

"Please. It feels good and I don't know why but I feel safe and warm like that. It makes me feel really comfortable," Rachel replied blushing redder.

"Okay. We can _try_ it," Santana replied, feeling nervous suddenly. Not about getting naked with Rachel but how Rachel would react to being naked in the middle of the night if she had a nightmare, which very well could happen. "We'll keep some PJs next to the bed but we can try it as long as you feel okay with it."

"I want your skin against mine. All of it," Rachel murmured as Santana retrieved the pyjamas before putting them on the end table beside Rachel's side. She wanted to make sure they were within reach at all times.

"Okay, I'll let you decide how much we're going to take off," Santana replied, feeling Rachel's hands gripping her shirt before she gave it a swift tug off her body. She smiled warmly as Rachel took a second to trace her abs before getting back to the task of stripping Santana of her clothes.

With a sigh, she unclamped Santana's bra and worked on her pants.

"So, everything's coming off?" Santana asked, smiling warmly at Rachel, smiling as a bashful grin took over her girlfriend's face.

"Yup."

Once Santana was completely naked, she worked on Rachel's clothes; taking her time so as not to spook her. When she jumped, she made sure to ask again if Rachel wanted to go to the bathroom and put on her pyjamas. All she got was a determined shake of the head.

"No! He'll win if I back down now. I want this, so I'm going to do this. Sleeping naked with you feels _good, _so I want to sleep naked with you; especially after today," Rachel insisted, standing up so that her pants and underwear could be pulled down easier. Once she was as naked as Santana, she dashed to the bathroom to take care of her bladder so she could stay in bed hopefully all night before she crawled into the bed, under the covers and snuggled into the warm, soft material. The blankets felt so nice on her bare skin. It was wonderfully addictive; it was so easy to see how people could sleep naked every night.

When Santana crawled into the bed beside her, she gave Rachel an assuring smile as Rachel blushed. The view of her girlfriend naked would never get old. Her skin was perfect and her breasts were something out of a fantasy. But she wasn't a fantasy. This was real.

With a shy smile, Rachel began inching towards Santana, whose arms were open, ready to bring her girlfriend in for a long embrace. At the first touch, Rachel flinched slightly but before the latina could even say anything, Rachel crawled fully into her arms. Their chests pressed together and she stared deeply into Santana's eyes to make it clear she was fine. And she was.

God, this felt so good. Santana's skin was warm and soft against hers and flooded her body with so many sensations. She found comfort in the embrace as fingers ran through her hair. The feeling of their bare skin together caused her body to thrill with joy and it was a welcome feeling. She knew skin to skin caused bursts of happy hormones but the fact that she was smelling her girlfriend, 100% without the interference of clothes, was so addictive.

Rachel wrapped one of her legs around Santana's and she couldn't be bothered to try and stop the grin that crossed her face. Somehow, she was certain this was the most intimate thing to happen between the two of them. The sex was great, as different as it had been, but this level of closeness and intimacy made her entire body swell with comfort and love. Especially as she wrapped her hands around Santana's bare butt.

"Is that okay?"

Santana stirred from her utterly bliss state. "Hmm? Oh, yes! It's fine. My butt is your butt."

"Okay, Santana. God, we should sleep like this more often," Rachel purred softly, so content and safe as her eyes began to droop.

"We'll do this whenever you want," Santana replied earnestly while trying not to sound like she was pressuring Rachel.

"I love you, Santana."

"I love you, too, Rachel."

And with those words, they fell asleep in each other's embrace. Chest to chest and skin to skin.

* * * LINEBREAK * * *

When Rachel woke up the following morning, she was in complete bliss. Well, as Blissful as she got lately. Santana's scent was all over her now and her brown eyes were looking lovingly into her eyes. Rachel smiled and kissed her lips lightly.

"How long have you been awake?"

"A few minutes. You were so peaceful. I like seeing you peaceful. I think you were onto something with... this," Santana said indicating their naked bodies. Their legs were intertwined and Rachel was resting her head against Santana's chest. It was so comfortable and so nice. She had one nightmare throughout the night but when she woke up, Santana asked if she wanted to put clothes on but Rachel just nuzzled closer into Santana and told her she was fine.

Once she had calmed down, they both fell back asleep. It didn't take long and as Santana rubbed her back, Rachel had been practically purring.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, I did."

Rachel's voice was soft and relaxed. And she was relaxed. She wished she could stay like this forever. In Santana's arms, their chests pressed together, their legs wove together and their foreheads pressed together.

It was heaven.

**Next chapter, the elusive Berry men return but how will they react to everything that has happened?**

**Also, Puck. I couldn't help but give Puck his own reaction based entirely around a family member of mine and bonding between Santana and Puck. I also gave a small peek at how far back Brittany and Rachel go. **


	9. Nightmare

**Please understand: I am NOT bashing the Berry men but they are hurt, wounded and feeling guilty that their daughter suffered and to an extent, they are jealous of Santana for being able to help their daughter in a way they couldn't. I am not writing them as bad guys, just people who are confused and _trying_ to do the right thing and make up for their absence. **

**I am so happy with this chapter: over 10,000 words! WOW! I'm stunned by the length! Thank you for reading and reviewing! So now I want to hear some baby names. The person to review with the name I like the most will get a chapter released to them twenty-four hours before I officially release it. (Not the next one but I have a specific chapter planned out for this).**

**Shoutouts:**

**Bigmac1989: You rock as usual. I love reading your thoughts on the chapters. I love working on the friendship between Brittany and Rachel. I'm planning on building a strong bond between the two of them. I also want her to have a strong bond with Quinn, too. Thank you for your support. **

**WARNINGS: Mentions of rape and emotional aftermath. **

**Chapter rating: T**

* * *

"Are you insinuating that we are unable to provide comfort and security for our daughter?"

To her credit, Santana did a really good job biting back the comments that were clearly flooding her mind. Because really, where were they to provide comfort and security to their daughter when she was raped, when her nightmares were frequent, violent and terrifying? Where were they when she found out she was pregnant? And now they were demanding Rachel come home, which she understood, but they were telling her she couldn't stay the night because they wanted to prove they could comfort her.

The Berry men had been in the door for an hour and in that time, they had snuck up behind Rachel at the airport and engulfed her in a hug as they always did but to their surprise when she began hyperventilating and shoving them away from her in a spectacle that made people passing stop to stare with more than a little concern in their eyes. Santana was actually proud of herself for restraining herself from punching the men for causing her girlfriend panic.

Of course, Santana couldn't blame them because even though they had conversed over the phone, Rachel decided it best not to reveal what had happened over the phone. It was something that would have filled her fathers with anxiety and make their flight painful and tedious. And Santana agreed. The men would have ended up tense, bitter, nervous and probably would have punched someone during the long flight.

She sighed sadly. "I'm not saying that! I'm just saying..."

"Look, we appreciate you caring for _our daughter_ when we could not but we have it under control. You will see her at school," LeRoy said as he dismissed Santana from the house so they could tend to their daughter who was upstairs in the bathroom where she was throwing up for the third time that day. There wasn't much Santana could do. She was powerless here because this was Rachel's fathers' house and they could call the cops if she became too insistent. That was the last thing Rachel needed. So she left with great hesitation; she would call Rachel as soon as she got home.

The Berry men made their way upstairs and rubbed their daughter's back, unaware that it was the cause of her stiffening or fear to pulse through her veins like liquid ice because she knew the hands didn't belong to Santana. They were too big. And Santana usually only rubbed her back with one hand while she ran fingers through her hair. She knew it was her fathers but she couldn't stop herself from stiffening and she only just barely stopped herself from shrinking away from them.

"Where's Santana?"

She wanted her girlfriend. Santana made her feel better; safer. Sometimes, Santana was the only person she would let touch her in any way when she was at her worst in the peak of her anxiety. Sometimes, when she wanted everyone to go away and leave her alone because she was anxious and scared, Santana made her feel better. She made her feel normal and she talked to her like she was normal. Sure, she spoke in a soothing voice sometimes, but she still spoke to her like she was normal; like she wasn't completely broken.

"We sent her home. It is our responsibility to take care of you. So we will take care of you and give your little friend a break," Hiram said in a soft voice but it was clear he was hurt by the fact that Santana had been taking care of Rachel while they were away. While she went through her own living nightmare. "It's ten o'clock and it's too late for your friend to be hanging out."

When Rachel and Santana sat the Berry men down and explained what had happened, they were terrified and angry and so concerned for Rachel. But the second Santana tried to make arrangements to be there with Rachel throughout the night, their hurt pride took over and the began defensively stating they could handle it and that Rachel would be fine under their care. After all, why wouldn't they be able to take care of their daughter; they'd been there for her since she was a baby and they were more than capable of handling this. They took care of her tantrums, her first lost competition, her first period, her first slushy attack; everything and they could handle this too. They were her _fathers._ They were more qualified to handle her emotional needs than a teenager.

Rachel glanced at her fathers as she pulled at her pyjama top nervously; something she had taken to doing when she was nervous. Actually, it was Santana's shirt she tugged at because it had become her way of unconsciously asking for the skin to skin contact she had grown so used to in the few short times they had done it. She didn't want to argue with her fathers because they would raise their voices and raised voices, especially male raised voices still made her jump. Even if they were her fathers.

Thankfully, they had figured out that their hugs we causing more harm than comfort... They had not tried again since the incident at the airport. That had freaked them out completely because they really had not been expecting such a violent reaction from the girl who used to jump into their arms whenever she would see them.

"Okay, sweetie, crawl into bed," LeRoy said as he pulled the blankets out for his daughter, barely resisting the urge to cry as she shrunk in on herself as she passed him. This was such a heartbreaking contrast to the assertive, outspoken girl they had left behind when they went to Africa. Since they had been home, she had spoken maybe twelve words and the rest of her attempts to speak had been overpowered by her hysterical sobbing as she tried to come up with the words to describe what had happened to her and finally as she told them she was pregnant.

They watched as their daughter proceeded to curl into a ball in her bed, sobbing to herself.

Hiram almost called Santana right then and there but he decided he would wait and see what happened. For all he knew, this was something that happened regardless of whether or not Santana was there. But that was made Hiram mad at his husband; they didn't _know_ what to expect and LeRoy had sent away the only person who knew Rachel's new fears, anxieties and triggers. Everything was different and Hiram didn't know what was normal for his daughter anymore or what was a massive red flag.

"Okay, do you want us to stay?"

Rachel shook her head as she buried herself completely under the blankets, her arms around her stomach as she tried to manipulate her mind into thinking it was Santana's arms around her. It didn't work though. Her mind was too clever for that. Her mind knew better. But if she couldn't be with Santana, she just wanted to be alone. She loved her fathers but she hadn't been alone in a males presence without Santana for a while and she wasn't used to the sound of a man's voice without a hand to hold. She was ashamed of herself for feeling this way about her fathers but she was anxious and the sound of their voices was making her nervous and tense. There was familiarity to their voices but they were still male voices.

When the light flicked off, Rachel let out a tiny scream before the lights flicked back on. Hiram gave Rachel a smile doing the best he could to hold back his tears as he flicked on Rachel's gold star nightlight; making a note to dust it off in the morning, he placed it beside Rachel's bed and tried not to show how saddened he was when Rachel tensed as he came within that area.

It took several deep breaths to rid himself of the desire to scoop her up and rock her against his chest because that would not go over well. This sight of Rachel upset like this was devastating.

"You know where we are if you need us."

"Are you sure you don't want us to stay?" Hiram asked again but he received the same answer as last time. He desperately wished his daughter wasn't going through this. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. His baby girl was innocent and pure! She didn't deserve this. He knew he shouldn't have allowed her to date Finn but he did because he trusted his daughter's judgement. Of course, he did not blame his daughter but she was quite trusting and she probably dismissed any and all signed that Finn might have presented that indicated he was capable of that.

He wanted that boys head mounted on his wall. He wanted to snap his neck and drag him screaming through the streets; teach him what happened when you mess with a Berry!

Rachel was always the type of girl to never let them say goodnight without a hug. In the past, they had walked out of the room pretending they weren't going to hug her but she'd always thrown herself out of bed and into their arms, forcing them to hug her. As they closed the door, however, they both let out shuddering sobs because they knew she wasn't coming for a hug tonight. She hadn't asked for a hug and she wasn't going to demand one now.

That was the one thing they loved about coming home from these countries surrounded by so much death, sickness and poverty, Rachel's hugs could make all of that melt away. One hug from their baby girl and they were given hope. But to come home to this was... There were no words to describe how this felt. Worse yet, there were no words to describe the pain of listening to their daughter cry herself to sleep, knowing there was nothing they could do to make her feel better.

"I need a drink," Hiram said, walking angrily away from his husband. "Do not follow me!"

If it wasn't for his inclination to sleep close to his daughter, he would have slept on the couch because he was that irritated with his husband, he was exhausted, stressed, devastated and honestly, he just wanted to be alone for a few minutes to just process everything. Everything was different. Everything had changed in the past two months. Nothing would ever be the same again and now his baby girl was having a baby.

His precious angel had been violated, broken and put through hell. She was still in Hell and his husband was too stupid to see that there was nothing they could do to help her through his.

It was a piercing scream that woke them up from their light sleep... if you could call it that. It was more like their exhaustion had won out and they were put into a restless state of unconsciousness.

Now, Rachel had a tendency to be loud, dramatic and sometimes a bit of a diva but the screams that woke the Berry men were like nothing they had ever heard before from their daughter; including the time she had fallen from the tree in the backyard and broke her arm. The screams were filled with pain and the caused both of the Berry mens' stomachs to churn as they tripped over almost everything in their patch to get to their daughter's room.

And there was Rachel; thrashing wildly in her bed against her blankets, her face twisted in utter terror and pain as tears fell down her sleeping face.

When LeRoy stepped forward to wake her, Hiram stopped him.

"Carefully. You could scare her."

LeRoy nodded and began shaking his daughter awake, which was hard because her fists were flying as she tried to fight him away from her. He took two fists to the face before he was able to finally awaken her but her regaining consciousness did nothing for her. She flung herself off the bed to get away from her father, screaming for him to stay away.

"Honey, it's me. It's Daddy."

"No! Don't touch me!" Rachel cried not awake enough to process what was happening as anything other than a threat as she shrunk back towards the edge of her bed. It didn't take long before she fell her bed with a loud crack as her face hit the corner of her end table. She wasn't seeing her fathers. She was seeing Finn. And she knew logically it wasn't Finn but her mind wouldn't stop picturing him there instead of her father. Their voices were Finn's, their touches were Finn's and... and... NO! She couldn't deal with it! She couldn't keep her mind grounded in reality because her fear was just too strong. Her muscles and body was yearning to curl up into itself.

"Honey," LeRoy tried resting a hand on her shoulder, only to have Rachel shriek in horror as she twisted away from her father, sobbing hysterically. Once again, her terrified delusion won over and it was Finn again, laughing evilly over her with that dark and twisted look on his face from that night.

But she was hurt and scared. They needed to look at her face because there was a trickle of blood running down her face from where her face had hit the nightstand but they couldn't get through to her because she was stuck in her post nightmare terror.

"Santana!"

Where was Santana? Why wasn't she here? She was always there when she was scared. But she wasn't there! Why? Rachel's exhausted and terrified mind could not comprehend why Santana wasn't holding her yet and murmuring into her ear like she always did. Santana always held her, even when she wasn't scared but she wasn't there and she was too far gone to figure out _why_!

"Honey, she's at home!" LeRoy tried but clearly, Rachel was sobbing too loudly to even hear him, let alone process the words. His attempts to get closer only frightened her more and pushed her further and further into her waking nightmare. He was stuck. There was nothing he could do to comfort his baby girl as she cried her heart out. Finally, her sobs became violent and too much, resulting in the little bit of supper she'd eaten to come flying out of her mouth and onto herself and the floor. It was a horrible sight to see Rachel so frightened and even more horrible to realise that Rachel was so completely panicked that it was possible she wasn't even aware that she had thrown up at all.

Neither man bothered to move to try and clean her up because they knew if they tried to _move_ her, that she would freak out worse and probably hurt herself in the process. At this point, the men didn't care if _they_ were hurt but they wanted Rachel to be comfortable and therefore, they couldn't do anything. They were completely and totally powerless to help their daughter as she lay broken and utterly terrified on her bedroom floor.

But she was hysteric and beyond calming down now.

LeRoy looked to his husband who was holding Rachel's cell phone to him with a glare on his normally so cheerful face. This had gone on too long and he was going to get his daughter the comfort she needed, even if it was in the form of a teenage girl.

"Call her!"

LeRoy gasped. "But..."

"LeRoy Berry! If you do not call Santana over here right now, you will be sleeping in the backyard... forever. Face it, we are out of our element. We can't help her! We're making it worse! Now, you call her, you apologise and you get her _here_ now!" Hiram's voice was loud and booming and it caused Rachel to shriek again as her trembling, terrified hands gripped her curtains, pulling them from the rod and onto herself and she curled into a ball. Hiram stopped and looked at her daughter, tears falling from his eyes as he realised his own _voice_ was scaring the absolute hell out of his daughter, so instead, he turned to his husband and growled out the last words. "Or so help me god..."

"Santana! Where are you, Santana?"

LeRoy bit back tears as Hiram pulled him from the room. Flipping through his daughter's phone, he found Santana Lopez's number and swallowing his pride, he hit the call button. He had to do the hardest thing he'd ever had to do since he came out to his homophobic parents; admit he was wrong. But if that was what he had to do to get Rachel what she needed, then he would do it. He would do anything to make his little girl happy again. He would move heaven and hell just to make his daughter stop crying right now.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

Santana Lopez could not sleep. She simply could not relax her mind long enough for sleep to fall upon her. Her girlfriend wasn't in her arms and that was something that had not happened since... Well, before this entire mess started and it was horrible laying in her bed by herself while Rachel was away from her.

She had tried everything she could to calm down. She'd listened to music, practised her cheerio routine, called Britt and then listened to Britt go on about how she touched Quinn's boobs. It was a welcome distraction but it did nothing to calm her down at all. She even tried a hands-on approach to relaxing but instead, it just filled her mind with images of Rachel crying alone in her bed instead of the sexy images she was going for.

There was a dent in her wall from when her anger took over when she arrived home. There were ten paper cranes from her anxious part of the evening which had been decapitated when her anger returned.

Now, she was laying in her bed, angrily punching her pillow as she tried to relax her mind so morning could come and she could see Rachel again at school. When she saw her girlfriend, she would decide if this was going to happen again.

If Rachel looked under-rested or ill, she was going to sneak into her room as soon as her fathers went to sleep and hold her. She'd play nice for tonight, just to see how it would go but if it didn't appear to be working, she'd play by her own damn rules.

But sleep refused to come. So far, she had cried, yelled, furiously kicked her blankets off and now she was hitting her pillow.

It was two-thirty in the morning when her phone started ringing. Rachel's ringtone blasted through her room and panic brought her to her phone faster than she thought possible.

"Rachel, baby, are you okay?"

In the distance, she could hear her girlfriend's muffled sobs but they were far away as though she wasn't the one on the phone at all.

"Hello, Santana. It's LeRoy Berry and... I am so sorry to call this late and I'm sorry for what I said but Rachel had a nightmare and... I can't calm my baby girl down!"

She wanted so badly to say something snarky and rude but she couldn't because she was too busy hastily throwing clothes on and the sound of Rachel's father breaking down into tears on the other end was enough to cut off any of her bitter words to the man who clearly believed he could have helped his daughter through this. She would resent them because they were the reason her girlfriend was suffering but hearing a grown man sob like that was enough to bring the resentment down a notch.

"I'm on my way," Santana muttered into the phone as she dumped her school things out and began throwing the things she knew could calm Rachel down into her bag, including her Vanilla Musk perfume and her own blue stuffed bunny that Rachel would cling to if she was showering or if she was out of the room while Rachel slept. It had been a gift from her abuela she had gotten when she was three and clung to every night. But on the first night, Santana had to step out of the room while Rachel slept, she had somehow found the bunny on the bed and clung to it, most likely seeking her scent from the most detectable source. Since then, the bunny was Rachel's go-to item for comfort when she couldn't reach Santana. And Santana found it adorable to see her clinging to the bunny.

Rachel had even named the bunny 'Bobby' as soon as Santana informed her it didn't have a name. She had tried but failed to figure out where the name Bobby came from but Rachel just seemed so proud of the name and had been having a really good day that day, so Santana wasn't questioning a single thing she decided to do that day.

She dove into her car and began speeding down the road towards her distressed diva. She had no idea how many traffic laws she broke and she didn't care at all. For all she cared, the police could try and pull her over right then and there but she would not stop. She needed to get to Rachel.

She had no idea what condition Rachel was in but it was safe to assume it was bad because of how hard LeRoy Berry had sobbed into the phone.

As she parked in the Berrys' drive, she didn't pay attention to parking well and there was a chance she had run over their mailbox but she did not give a shit about that. She just cared about getting Rachel into her arms and calm. _Nothing_ else mattered at that moment. She wasn't even sure if her car had _turned off_ before she jumped out and ran towards her girlfriend. That thing could blow up for all she cared at that moment.

She grabbed her bag and ran to the door. With a deep breath, she prepared to knock but the door flew open before she could even make contact once.

"Thank goodness, you're here!" LeRoy cried, tears running down his face which was filled with sorrow, pain and fear. It was enough to tell her exactly how bad things were. She had no idea _what_ she was walking into but it was enough to tell her it was bad. That meant Rachel was suffering. Her _girlfriend _was suffering and she hadn't been there. She felt revolted with herself for not being there when Rachel needed her. She felt like the scum of the earth. But she wasn't going to focus on her guilt right now.

She wasn't there to focus on LeRoy Berry's guilt either and she sure as fuck wasn't going to _console_ him when he was the reason Rachel was suffering. "Where is she?"

"Her room. Hiram's with her but... she won't even let him close enough to soothe her! Please, help my baby!"

Santana nodded before she tore up the stairs. As she got closer to the top of the stairs, she could hear Rachel's anguished, terrified sobs. And when the girl sobbed out her name, she nearly crumbled to the ground in despair. This was the most painful thing she ever had to endure in her life.

When she entered the room, the first thing her mind registered was the smell of vomit and immediately, she found herself five times more concerned than she had been before. The next thing focused on was the loud, violent sobs coming from underneath a curtain which appeared to have been pulled down if the state of the rod was anything to go by and Hiram Berry standing close by with a broken look of resignation on his face as he too accepted that he could not help his daughter.

"Santana... We..."

"Save it. We tried it your way, it failed. You can hate on me for being disrespectful later but I don't want to hear anything from either of you right now. My only concern right now is Rachel. Now, do you have ginger tea here?"

Hiram nodded jerkily as he ran from the room, relieved there was something he could do. So far all he and his husband had done was make the choices that reduced their daughter to this state.

Santana turned toward the trembling bundle on the floor, fully aware the smell of vomit was coming from under the curtain but she didn't care. She'd dealt with Rachel's puke before and it was hardly a big deal anymore. Honestly, vomit, in general, wasn't a big deal for her because of how many times she dealt with it from the cheerios during a brutal practice when the Coach was feeling sadistic and now it was whenever Rachel wanted to teach a lesson. But Rachel was better at bringing them to the point where they _almost _throw up and stopping them to bring them to a new type of punishment.

"Santana!"

A sob escaped her chest before she could stop it as she inched towards Rachel, who was desperately but weakly calling out for her; just how long had Rachel been crying out her name in despair? No, this was something that would _never_ happen again. She would never allow Rachel to cry for her when she could easily be by her side.

"Rachel. Mi Estrella. I'm here," Santana sobbed out miserably as she drew the curtain from on top of Rachel and slowly caressed her tear-soaked cheek. One of her cheeks was bruised and bleeding. She was seated with her back to the wall with her knees drawn to her chest. At first, Rachel cringed violently, not really aware of her surroundings in her panic-induced state. So she dropped her bag from her shoulders and sprayed the perfume into the air and onto her wrist before she attempted the touch Rachel again.

This time, when she touched her cheek, she softly began singing in the same Spanish lullaby she always sang when trying to calm her down or just cheer her up when she was sad. She put as much love into her words as always while she bent down to get closer. She could see Rachel had indeed thrown up on herself in her distress and her grip on the curtain made her worry for the joints in her fingers because the skin saw turning white.

After a few minutes of soft singing and gentle stroking of Rachel's face, Rachel began to loosen her grip on the curtain and become more aware of her environment. Finally, her eyes landed on Santana and she began sobbing as she threw her arms around her girlfriend. And Santana wrapped her arms tightly around her, not caring about the vomit that was getting on her clothes as she buried her face in Rachel's hair and gently rocked her.

"Shh, Mi Estrella. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere this time," Santana murmured again as she rubbed Rachel's back and whispered sweet nothings into her ear.

"I don't know what happened. I just... I know he wasn't here but I could see him when my father's tried to touch me. I couldn't help it. I tried to be strong. I tried to be reasonable!" Rachel sobbed. "But I couldn't."

"It's fine. You're fine. I'm here now. I shouldn't have left you alone. I swear it will never happen again until I _know_ you're ready."

Santana tightened her grip on her girlfriend and promised to herself that she would do anything and everything to keep this from ever happening again because leaving Rachel alone had been so painful on her because of how worried she was. It had been a nightmare for both of them and she could not let it happen again.

"I love you."

"And I love you. But we need to get you cleaned off," Santana whispered, trying to not bring up why she needed to be cleaned up because it was clear as Rachel stared down at herself completely mortified and more than a little ashamed because she had thrown up on herself and now her girlfriend was wearing her vomit. Rachel stared at Santana with apologetic eyes.

_Way to keep it classy, Rachel. Just sitting in my own damn vomit like a lune!_

"It's fine, Rachel. No big deal," Santana replied as she pulled Rachel's favourite fuzzy pyjamas from her bag and her own pair of complimenting pyjamas. Rachel's had strawberries and hers had blueberries. Sure they were juvenile but Rachel loved them, so she wore hers with pride when she was with her girlfriend. She stood up slowly before she tried helping her girlfriend to her feet but she was just too weak from crying and just kind of sagged against her. She wished she could just bring her to her bed and tuck her in but that would be uncomfortable and Rachel was already squirming uncomfortably with the mess on her. Now that Rachel knew the mess was there and she was aware of the filth she was sitting, she felt completely revolted by herself and kind of wanted to crawl into a hole and never come out.

"LeRoy," Santana called to the man who she knew was standing there. "Can you take these to the bathroom and bring out some towels for us? We both need to get cleaned off."

She knew she was doing a miserable job keeping the bitterness out of her tone, and honestly, she wasn't trying too hard because none of this would have happened if she had stayed. She was always able to cut off Rachel's panic attacks before they could get to this point. But the main difference is, she had experience dealing with this; they were clueless, confused and most likely trying the same things they were used to doing to calm her down. Of course, they wouldn't understand you can just walk up to her and hug her or even touch her when she was in full-blown panic mode. It was a parents instinct to hug their panicking child and they had tried to help... But once again, if she'd have been there, she could have warned them.

But she couldn't blame them. These were mistakes she made with Britt, including pulling her into her arms and trying to hug her only to get a fist to the face... Something LeRoy had clearly experienced as well if those bruises were anything to go by. Once again she bit back her words of 'I told you so' because it was hardly the time and Rachel didn't need any snarky tones around her. She wanted to feel sorry for the man as he cried for his daughter but she was so angry with him for putting Rachel through this at all. She was too tired to be sympathetic.

"Sure."

LeRoy looked so relieved to see his daughter breathing evenly and not screaming and sobbing that she was almost certain she could ask for water from the dead sea and get it. But she was still feeling kind of salty towards the men, otherwise, she would have tried to assure them that Rachel would be fine.

Santana drew Rachel into her arms, cradling her gently to her chest as she carefully carried her into the bathroom. Her first instinct was to start filling the tub but she knew Rachel probably couldn't sit up on her own because of how weak she was and how badly she was trembling... and having LeRoy hold her was out of the question, so she instructed him on how to apply the bubbles to the bath so it was _just right_ for them and when to turn the water off.

Besides, she didn't want Rachel out of her arms long enough to actually fill the tub. Not right now. Probably not for the rest of the night. She was making it clear to both Rachel and LeRoy that she was not going anywhere. Not again. LeRoy seemed to get this and he gave a Kurt nod.

Rachel clung to her desperately, clearly affected by her absence that night and making it clear that she wasn't going to be leaving Santana's side anytime soon. Not that she had a problem with that because she wasn't planning on leaving her side again until she had to. Until Rachel was calm and comfortable. And she dared the Berry men to try and sperate her from her girl _now! _Cause she would not be leaving without a fight.

"Do you need anything else?"

"Privacy. Maybe Hiram can bring the tea into Rachel's room in a half-hour?"

Once again, LeRoy looked miserably and helplessly at his daughter before he stepped out of the bathroom to give them privacy to do... Whatever they needed to do. He was smart enough to know that the Latina was mad at him. His husband was mad at him and his daughter... Well, she was too nervous and tense to be mad but he wondered if that was something he could look forward to in the morning as he backed out of the bathroom.

"Rachel, love, lift your arms. I need to take your shirt off."

"Will you get in with me? Please."

"Of course, I will," Santana replied as she softly pulled Rachel's shirt off. Soon, they were both naked and Santana was helping Rachel into the water while simultaneously lowering herself into the water. Once they were in the water, Rachel rested her body against Santana's as she rested between the Latina's legs, holding on of Santana's arms against her chest.

"Are my fathers mad?"

"No, I think they're more worried than anything. It's probably really hard for them to accept that they can't help you right now... Face me for a second."

Rachel turned to face Santana so her cut on her cheek could be cleaned.

"What happened there?" Santana asked as she kissed the wound better, pleased with the fact that it wasn't deep and was barely more than a scratch. It was the bruising that made it look far worse than it was.

"I panicked and I fell off the bed and hit my face on the nightstand. I was so freaked out, I didn't even feel it," Rachel sighed as she trembled against Santana. She was finding so much comfort in the embrace but she still felt nervous. "Did we wake you?"

Santana sighed, saddened by the fact that Rachel was worried about waking her.

"I couldn't sleep. I was already awake when they called," Santana explained as she wrapped her arms around Rachel, feeling her heart race against her chest. This time, she knew it wasn't because she was 'enjoying herself'. She was still panicking slightly but she was calming down. So she began singing again as she washed Rachel's hair and scrubbed her down. "I was too worried about you and I missed you."

By the time they got out, Rachel had more or less calmed down and when they went into Rachel's room, there were two steaming mugs of ginger tea waiting while Hiram sat nervously in the corner. He didn't say anything about the fact that both girls had wet hair, indicating they'd most likely bathed together... Which made sense to the man because Rachel couldn't hold herself up and Santana had been covered in Rachel's vomit.

"Can I get you anything else? I don't know what she needs or what comforts her and I'm sorry I allowed my husbands pride to cause this. And I'll admit, I let my own pride and guilt influence me as well."

"We're fine. I'm just going to give her some snuggles and hopefully, she'll sleep. That's all she ever wants by the way, when she's nervous, she just wants me to snuggle her. I'm not trying to sound smug but she really does rest better when I'm with her and as defiant as this is going to sound, I am not going to let this happen again. Tomorrow night, she will be in my arms. You feel guilty about being away while this happened, fine but things are different now. Yes, she needs you but you can't help her with everything. At least not when she's panicking."

"Okay."

Hiram looked tired, weak and ready to agree to anything.

"We will make arrangements that work for everyone in the morning. Much later in the morning. I think it's safe to say that we aren't going to school."

Hiram glanced at the clock and saw it was nearly six in the morning and both girls looked like they hadn't slept in a month. Santana looked extremely irritable and cranky while Rachel just looked plain exhausted and the bruise on the side of her cheek looked painful.

"Okay, we'll leave you be. Goodnight," Hiram said as he softly turned off the light but flicked on Rachel's star night light again which filled the dark bedroom with bright stars. "We're right down the fall if you need us."

Once he was gone, Santana tucked Rachel under her covers before crawling in beside her. Immediately, Rachel gripped her desperately as though scared she was going to disappear.

"Don't leave me, kay?"

"Never, Rachel. Never again."

"Open your top," Rachel said suddenly as she blushed as she looked into her eyes.

"Umm... OK?"

"I just want to feel your skin against mine and I don't want my fathers seeing us naked together."

"Oh, okay," Santana replied with a smile as she began to unbutton her top as Rachel began working with her buttons but her fingers were still trembling, making the task gruelling and tedious. When Santana was finished with her top, she softly began undoing Rachel's buttons before opening the top to reveal Rachel's still flat belly.

"We're going to have to sleep really close, okay?"

"Fine by me," Rachel replied as she opened Santana's top as wide as she could and pulled herself against her so their bare chests were touching. They were so close that their hearts seemed to be beating together and they could feel each other's breath on their necks. It was delightful and in that instant, Rachel felt safe and so close to her girlfriend. She gave a sigh of contentment as she placed a kiss on Santana's neck.

"Is this good?" Santana asked, her words causing her chest to vibrate. Rachel sighed contently and kissed her girlfriends nose.

"This is perfect."

"Sleep, Rachel," Santana purred as she kissed Rachel's face and then closed her eyes. Within minutes, Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez fell asleep, chest to chest and nothing felt more right to Rachel except when they did this together completely naked. But right now, she was just happy to be in her girlfriend's strong arms, feeling safe and sound.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"What are we supposed to do, Hiram? Our baby is suffering! We should have been there!"

Hiram and LeRoy were in their room but sleep was something that would not fall upon them for a really long time. They were both haunted by the image of their daughter curled up in the corner was ingrained in their memory along with the knowledge that not only was there nothing they could do but their presence actually made it worse.

The knowledge that they had to get Santana Lopez to come in and calm their daughter down and clean her up after she had thrown up on herself was unbearable.

The sound of her screams and the sight of her tears. It was the most painful thing he could ever imagine going through as a parent.

As soon as they got into their room, LeRoy had been sick. It was too much for him and after he threw up, he cried. He cried for his baby girl who had lost her innocence so brutally and now was having a baby. He wept for her pain and suffering and he wept because he wasn't there. He wept because his daughter found comfort in a girl who used to bully her and terror in his presence.

Hiram just held his husband as he cried. What else could he do? He was busy crying desperately himself.

And to think, while this was happening, they had prolonged their trip and when they got home, the first thing that had done was take away the one person who brought their daughter comfort because they were too damn proud to accept they could not provide the comfort their daughter needed. Because they refused to accept that a teenager could offer something to their daughter that they couldn't.

It was a nightmare for a parent to sit back and literally watch as your baby suffers, knowing there is nothing you could do.

"We let Rachel and Santana decide. If Rachel decides she's more comfortable there, then so be it. If she wants Santana to stay here, fine but I will do anything to keep my little girl from going through anything like that ever again. We talk to them and see what they want to do. Obviously, Santana is willing to be there for her whenever she needs her and clearly, she knows what she's doing and is bringing her comfort. LeRoy, we need to apologise to them."

"I knew that boy was no good."

"I know, LeeLee."

"What can _we_ do to make her feel better? How can _we_ help our baby girl if we can't give her comfort?"

"We give her our unconditional love, support and space. Let her come to us from comfort and hugs but we make it clear that we love her and we're here to talk if she ever wants to," Hiram spoke sadly, unsure of how to answer but at that moment, it seemed like the safest answer to give. It was a difficult situation and an even more complicated solution. The whole situation was a mess. A heartbreaking mess. "We let her make her own choices as well. If she wants that girl to comfort her, let her because clearly, she can support her in a way we cant."

"I hate this, Hiram. I want to take my baby into my arms until she smiles again but I can't and it hurts! It fucking hurts! That monster stole that from me! He stole our little girl from us," LeRoy sobbed again. "And I feel like if we were home being _parents_ that this wouldn't have happened! We should have been there!"

"We will figure this all out but our little girl is still there. She has her friend and she has us. We will help our daughter however she needs. Maybe we can't hold her anymore but we can love her and talk to her. Our little girl is still there, she's just a little lost and hurt right now."

"How are you being so calm right now?" LeRoy asked his husband.

"Because who will take care of you if I fall apart with you?" Hiram joked poorly in an attempt to get a smile from his husband. He received a grimace. "Because making a fuss won't solve anything."

"I hate that you're right."

"Besides, if I were to start screaming and punching the wall as I want to, it would no doubt scare Rachel more and I think she is finally calm enough to go back to sleep. But tomorrow, I will be going into her recording studio and screaming my lungs out," Hiram said as he resisted the urge to go down right then and there. But he wanted to be able to hear if Rachel needed anything.

Tomorrow they could figure out how things would work, for now, Rachel and her friend were asleep peacefully.

"And the baby?"

"That's up to Rachel."

"But Hiram."

"No! It's up to Rachel! She had control of her body taken away once, I will not take away that control away from her again. You know as well as I do that she will not _end_ the pregnancy. She will see it through and we need to support her because if we try to force her, she will never forgive us. I mean it, don't try to sway her."

With those words, the men fell into a fitful and restless sleep, while in the room next door, their daughter slept peacefully in Santana's arms.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

When Rachel woke up in the morning, her face was pressed between Santana's perfect breasts and her first impulse was to thank whatever god in heaven decided that Santana should sleep without a bra on. As she gave a sigh of contentment, she heard her girlfriend give a soft chuckle.

It was so odd to be laying with Santana in her childhood bedroom. It was even odder to be nuzzling her _breasts_ in said bedroom. She smiled to herself as she ran her finger along one of the breasts and grinned as the nipple began to harden.

"Is that how you say good morning to the twins now? Because I won't object to that."

Rachel smirked up to Santana before she boldly placed a kiss on both of her breasts.

"Better?"

"Much. I mean... Good morning."

"Good morning," Rachel murmured as she buried her face back between Santana's breast, loving the way they felt as she sandwiched her face.

"Were you speaking to me or them?"

Rachel yawned widely as she listened to Santana's question. "Both."

The two girls spent a few minutes cuddling before Rachel's stomach put an end to any further romantic actions either girl may have been planning. Santana followed Rachel into the bathroom, throwing her hair into a ponytail while she was too occupied hugging the toilet to do so.

When she finished, she collapsed back into Santana's arms, something was quickly becoming a habit but she had received no arguments on it, so she went with it.

"Did you sleep okay?" Rachel asked as she rinsed out her mouth and stared at the waterproof clock in her shower which was informing her it was after ten-thirty in the morning.

"Only once you were asleep in my arms. You?"

"It was miserable before you came and then it wasn't perfect but it was better once you got here... I feel so weak. Is it normal for girlfriends to not be able to sleep without each other? We're not married. We should be able to go a night or two without ripping the drapes down and getting ill over ourselves."

"Well, our circumstances aren't normal, so of course, our relationship won't be either. And I understand that. It's not like you just showed up at my house without my permission and then refused to leave when I asked you to. I want to be there with you. I want to take care of you and no, it's not normal especially for our age but we're not normal. I love you, Rachel Berry and so what if you need affection and comfort. I enjoy sleeping with you in my arms as much as you enjoy being there and if anyone has anything to say about it, they can bring it up with Auntie Snixx."

"I wanna come out to my fathers. If we're going to try and allow whatever sleeping arrangement we're going for, I don't want any impressions down the line that we lied about our relationship just to be intimate with each other behind their backs. And... I don't want to hide here," Rachel explained as she felt Santana wrap her arms around her waist before pulling her in for a kiss.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Okay, then. Let's go make our demands."

"You make this sound like a hostage situation, Santana," Rachel chuckled lightly as she grabbed onto Santana's hand and made their way into the kitchen.

She tried not to jump when her fathers stood up from the table when they entered. She had tried and quickly failed. But thankfully her fathers didn't say anything, they just looked down at their hands before sitting down. Santana wrapped an arm around her waist and muttered about taking her time.

"Rachel. Santana. I owe you an apology. We let our pride get the better of us and..."

Hiram cleared his throat and kicked his husband's foot under the table.

"... fine. _I_ let my pride get the better of me and I made a poor choice which resulted in my daughter suffering and forcing a teenager out of bed in the middle of the night, risking her safety. I'm sorry. This is just a really bad situation and I think we can all agree that my husband and I are out of our element. Santana, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. Our ears are open, now."

"I need to be with Santana to sleep for right now. I have nightmares and she calms me. I'm sorry but last night when you tried, all I could see and hear was _him_ because I wasn't awake enough to see anything else. I panic over things more at night and Santana makes it better by just being there."

"Sirs, I have helped someone who was hurt the same way as Rachel before and because of that, I have learned things to avoid doing and I've been helping her since I found her in the locker room. I would do anything for her comfort, so I propose we spend weekday nights here and weekends at my place."

"We would have to discuss this with your parents."

"He is my father's cell number. He won't object and I'm not letting last night happen again."

After a few moments, LeRoy was off the phone with Santana's father and he told LeRoy that the arrangement worked with him.

"Okay, so breakfast, what would you like, girls?" Hiram asked as he gave Rachel a smile instead of his usual morning hug when he asked what Rachel wanted for breakfast.

"Bacon and eggs."

"Wha... Bacon and... Rachel?"

"I crave them and since my morning sickness started full scale, its the safest bet because it stays down more often than anything else," Rachel explained with a shrug. "Anything else is likely to come back up and I don't wish to throw up any more than I have to."

"Okay. I'll get started."

"Wait, dad, daddy. I have something else to tell you. Sit down," Rachel started, causing both the Berry men's faces to go chalk white and that was probably because the last time she told them to sit down, they found out she had been a nightmare. Even Santana could see the complete terror in their eyes and decided to show them some pity.

"This is nothing like the last news she gave you."

"No! It's a good thing. And I'm telling you because I want your trust as we move on and I want to be open about this from the beginning and..."

"I feel it important with the arrangement we have that I communicate this with you so hopefully it will help establish trust between us," Santana explained her reason before she heard Rachel take a deep breath and look her fathers nervously in the eyes before she clutched Santana's hand. "I don't want you feeling like we decided to keep this from you to get away with anything behind your backs."

"Honey, whatever it is, please, tell us," Hiram said as he looked between the two girls.

"Okay. Dad. Daddy. I'm gay. And... Santana is my girlfriend. I've had feelings for her since before this happened and we have been working together to bring me back to a healthier state. Honestly, she puts up with a lot. I've thrown up on her, her floor multiple times and she still goes out of her way to take care of me first, even when she's _wearing my vomit._ She makes me feel safe and I love her," Rachel explained as both men looked at each other.

It was LeRoy who spoke first. "Okay. I don't intend to separate either of you, especially after last night but I want to make sure this is what you want, Rachel."

"It is. She makes me feel happy and when I'm scared, she makes me feel loved and whole; almost normal."

Hiram sighed. "Okay. Just... be careful. I'm not going to throw rules at you because obviously you aren't hurting her and she trusts you. So, therefore, we trust you and I'll be honest, I'm more than a little hesitant to make changes into the fragile routine you two have formed with each other, especially after last night. But I expect you to communicate with us and if you need anything or if we screw up, we want to be told so we can fix it."

"Yes sir," Santana said, feeling less salty towards the men after her night with Rachel in her arms. And now that the Berry men were aware of her relationship with their daughter, she didn't hesitate to wrap her arm around Rachel and let her rest her head contently on her shoulder as they did every morning at breakfast. Mornings and night times were the times when Rachel seemed to feel most vulnerable, so Santana did her best to be close to her. It was probably because she was either just waking up or tired from the day and it was harder for her to push away her worries.

"Please, call us by our names. None of this 'sir' business. I'm Hiram and that's LeRoy," Hiram said as he smiled in Santana's direction, not wanting to extend his hand towards the girls in case Rachel were to become frightened by the movement.

"Okay, Hiram," Santana replied as Rachel wrapped an arm around her waist and snuggled closer. It was clear her Diva was exhausted from the night before.

"Great, now Hiram, I believe you were going to make the girls and I some food."

"Yes, and speaking of food, the BBQ? Do you want to have it still?"

"I already told Puck to tell his mom it was still on but could we just keep it between me, you, Santana, Puck, Puck's mom and daddy?" Rachel asked hesitantly. "Oh and Quinn and Brittany!"

"Yes! Absolutely."

Both men agreed at the same time, clearly willing to give their daughter anything she asked for after the night she had had. Rachel smiled and snuggled her girlfriend closer, knowing she wouldn't have to go to sleep without her that night.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

Carol Hudson wanted to know where her son was.

Where was the sweet little boy who cried when he found a wounded bird until she agreed to allow him to nurse the bird back to health?

This was not her little boy. What had happened that caused her sweet, innocent baby to become so cold, cruel and hateful to the girl he once claimed to love?

As she sat in the living room with her husband and stepson, she couldn't help but blame herself for her son's actions on a subconscious level. When they went to bed, she sat in the living room, lost in her own thoughts as she tried to process everything that had happened. She finally got restless and made her way to the front porch where she began just watching cars occasionally pass by. It was really late, so it was quiet and she was able to think to herself and just let her mind wander.

Would this have still happened if she had made sure Finn had a male influence to look up to as a boy?

Burt had assured her dozens of times that she wasn't to blame for her son's actions. All she could do was tell him how to be a good man. Still, it didn't stop her from crying every night as she watched her son _brag_ about his vicious acts? A wounded ego? This was not her little boy. Her little boy would not smile as he spoke about his acts of violence and hate.

But he did.

Now, Finn was sentenced to a federal facility for the rest of his natural life with no chance of parole.

It was hard as a mother for her to hear but after she saw the look on his face as he told them what he had done... She felt revolted by him. She felt ashamed. And utterly terrified to think about what else he may have done that he had never mentioned. And worse, to think she had slept in a house with someone capable of such crimes. She had hugged someone who had done the worst.

Burt had been incredible to her and had held her as she cried and gave her space to vent and went she punched the wall, he gave her ice and fixed the whole without complaint.

Carol was going to see a therapist in a few days because she was having trouble processing. This was not something you could find in a parenting book. How to deal when your son becomes a monster. There was no clear way to offer support to the girl her son had brutalized. She wanted to communicate that she was utterly disgraced by her son and this was not how she raised him but she didn't know if her presence would be welcome or if an attempt would cause more harm than help.

This situation was just so horrible and unthinkable and as a mother, it made her sick. Not just because of what Finn had done but because of the damage, it would have done to the poor girl she had come to adore. It made her sicker to think about the damage her own _flesh and blood_ had caused. When she showed up to the school to empty her son's locker, she had seen Rachel walking outside the school with a Latina cheerio... Santana... The poor girl was clinging to her desperately, she was jumpier and paler than Carol had remembered. It was clear she was close to her and she was glad the girl had Santana to help her.

The Rachel Berry she had seen was clinging to Santana's hand while Santana watched her carefully and glared at anyone who came near her. She wasn't smiling, her clothes were different, her face was pale and she had dark circles under her eyes. It broke her heart when a student made a loud noise and Rachel jumped into Santana's arms and Santana didn't hesitate to rub her back and direct her to a bench where she worked on calming her.

It was clear Santana was in love with her by the way she looked at her. Anybody could tell. It was for that reason that it made Carol want to cry again for Santana. She couldn't imagine how had it would be to watch your love go through something so horrible.

She was so conflicted. She didn't want to think about her son _raping_ someone but she knew he had done it. She refused to encourage any delusion that her 'angel' couldn't commit such a crime as her ex-husband seemed determined to do. She would not defend his actions and she would do anything to help him out of his mess because she knew that without a doubt that her son had done it by the look in his eyes and worse. She knew he had no remorse and no regret.

He didn't regret what he had done and he was convinced he had done nothing wrong.

And then, her son admitted Rachel wasn't the first girl he had hurt. When he mentioned the name of the first girl... It became too much. Was it out of some sick and twisted pleasure that he had targeted the two sweetest and most innocent girls in Lima? Nobody deserved what her son had done but those two girls were... rape should not even be in their vocabulary!

The fact that her own flesh and blood could think about hurting them like that told her how much of a monster he was. Because she threw up at least once a day _thinking_ about it.

No. Carol Hudson wanted to know where her son was because that monster who got arrested for rape was _not_ her son. Not anymore. He was always going to be her genetic child but he stopped being her son the second she found out he had raped Brittany Pierce and Rachel Berry.

**Okay, there we have it. Brittany's rapist has been revealed. **

**Now, I wrote Carol's perspective because I really wanted to explore her feelings on what her son had done. I wanted to explore her guilt and worries. The Berry men was a similar exploration because I can really see a parent feeling so many emotions about their child being hurt and not being able to help them at all. It would be a nightmare. **


	10. Ultrasound

**I am NOT a doctor and I had trouble finding an accurate visual of what a one-month ultrasound looks like and an even harder time finding what one sounded like. The Ultra-sounds I have been present for from four months and beyond so I am unsure what the earlier ones looked and sounded like. **

**Warning: **Includes sexual scene written in** Bold Text** so you can skip it if you aren't comfortable.

**Chapter Rating: M**

**WARNING: Includes descriptions of a panic attack. **

**Bigmac1989: Thank you so much for your words. I was thinking about a scene between Carol, Brittany and Rachel and I'm still trying to decide whether or not to do it while Rachel's pregnant or not and if I want Santana present for the moment. **

**Mahsa: Thank you so much. I really found it interesting exploring Carol's struggle because I can only imagine the nightmare of finding out your child had committed such a crime.**

**Guest3: Thank you so much for your words. I hope you enjoy the story.**

**I hope you all are enjoying the story so far and I am excited with the direction the story has taken. You are all wonderful and your words all mean so much to me. Thank you for taking the time to read my work. Thank you... And now... Onto the chapter... BTW... Another chapter over 10,000 words BEFORE the notes :D!**

It had been a little over a week since the arrangement began between Santana, Rachel and both sets of parents and things were different. One of the big differences was, Santana's father made a point to show up at least once during the weekend while Santana and Rachel were there. It was part of the deal with Rachel's fathers that the man would communicate regularly and check in with them to make sure they were okay. He would come by, say hello, and make sure everything was okay before heading back out. But he began regularly texting Santana between surgeries and patients to see if she needed anything.

Every day, they checked in with Rachel's fathers and the men were doing their best not to make it clear how painful it was for them not to hug their daughter and make her feel better. It was extremely hard for them, they were like Danny Tanner with hugs, there were hugs for almost every occasion; doing homework, coming home, leaving for school... just because and now the couldn't hold their daughter without her cringing violently in their arms.

Conversations between Rachel and her father were minimal. They involved brief words and pleasantries but mostly centred around simple greetings. Rachel was working on communicating more and speaking more than just 'good morning' and 'pass the toast'. Whenever Rachel would strike a conversation with the men, she could see their eyes shining. It was as though her request for toilet paper to be added to the shopping list was as spectacular as the winning lotto numbers.

At dinner, Rachel made a point to talk to them about her day. She filled them in on Cheerios, she told them about classes and how they were going and she told them how Santana had been tutoring her in Spanish. They laughed as she mentioned that she had learnt more Spanish in one week than she had in all of her Spanish classes combined.

For the most part, it was an attempt at normality and sometimes Rachel's anxiety would be forgotten for a moment and one of the men would move too fast towards her or raise their voices. This had varying results. Sometimes she would be fine and other times she would shrink nervously into Santana's arms.

They still had a great deal of difficulty accepting they could not comfort her when she was anxious and the pain would show in their eyes the second Rachel had her head buried into Santana's shoulder. Santana always knew when it was becoming hard for the men to sit by and watch so she would either take Rachel to her room or ask them to do something so they could feel like they were helping.

She knew Rachel knew this was hard on the men but she did not want Rachel to see the hurt in their eyes for something she couldn't control. And the men appreciated it as well. The Berry men had accepted that there was very little they could do for their daughter and that they were better off letting Santana and Rachel do their thing.

But the damage had been done. In their attempt to prove they were able to tend to their daughter in her moment of need, the progress Santana and Rachel had worked so hard to achieve was almost erased in the course of one night. Rachel was once again nervous, jumpy and now she tended to become nervous when separated from Santana for long periods of time. She became distressed and anxious if her girlfriend was out of her sight for longer than an hour. But she tried to hide it because she didn't want Santana or her fathers to feel bad or she didn't want to come off as too clingy again, so she did her best to give Santana the distance she'd been giving her before.

She didn't _want_ to be the girlfriend who couldn't be away from her girlfriend for longer than an hour. It was normal for girlfriends to spend time away from each other once in a while and she couldn't but worry that Santana might begin to feel crowded. It was only fair that she get some space once in a while to be by herself. So she worked on evening out her breathing to calm down.

_Breath in... Breath out..._

_One breath... Two Breath... Three Breath_

_In and out... In and out..._

It wasn't working though.

As Santana sat downstairs in the living room and did her homework, Rachel was upstairs in her bedroom trying to calm down. She used to be able to let Santana have space. She used to. She would sit in Santana's room while her girlfriend went downstairs to work on trig or while she would sit down and watch the horror movies Rachel couldn't watch because she was too anxious and nervous. She had been fine to sit in Santana's room, work on homework, watch a movie or just lounge while she kept Santana's blue bunny (Bobby) close to her chest. But now, all she could remember was that night a week ago on her bedroom floor as she gasped for breath and couldn't calm down because Santana wasn't there.

She needed to give her girlfriend some breathing room. She couldn't spend the rest of her life attached to her like some type of tumour. She just couldn't. But she felt so alone and like that night in her room, she could feel her panic returning and her breathing was becoming more and more strained. Irrational worries of Santana leaving began filling her mind, despite the fact that she was in Santana's house. But rationality held no place as panic and worry began to flood her mind violently and viciously. Blinding, horrible and mind-consuming _panic._

Did the air just get heavier?

Why was the air so heavy? It was getting hard to breathe and her heart was beating too fast. It was hurting! Her chest was hurting! Every heartbeat was hurting and her breath felt like a punch to the chest! Why was it so hard to breath? It was as though the air had become thick as molasses and was too thick to be breathed in.

Was she dying?

Santana! She needed Santana! She recalled making a shaky effort to stand up and get to her girlfriend but her now completely irrational panic had taken over her mind completely and all she could hear was her heart pounding in her ears and her ragged breath as everything seemed to go fuzzy and distant. It felt as though there was ice was running through her veins. Pure ice and it was so horrible! Her stomach twisted horribly but it was as though she was no longer connected to her body but floating so far away from her body. She felt like she was going to be sick but she was too far away. Nothing felt real anymore and no amount of moving or yelling out could make her feel as though she was connected to her body.

Everything was spinning, she was barely breathing and nothing seemed to make sense anymore. Her thoughts were travelling through her mind at a terrifying speed making it impossible for her to make heads or tails of her thoughts.

"...Rachel!"

What was happening? Was she calling her own name now? Had she really reached that much of a low that she was calling her own name for comfort?

"Rach... I got you. I'm going to take you in my arms, now. I got you!"

She had no idea what was happening because she was too aware of the fact that she was breathing really poorly and that her chest was hurting. It hurt so much and... Ooh, that music was nice. It sounded like the song Santana liked to sing to her. She still had no idea what the lyrics meant and she didn't care because it was beautiful. For all she cared the lyrics could be about porn and death, she wouldn't care because anything sang by Santana to her was beautiful because she could hear love and sincerity in her tone.

Suddenly, her heart rate began to slow and her breathing became lighter but she could still hear Santana's beautiful voice as she became more and more aware of her environment. She loved the way her mind was now supplying San's lullaby for her it was as though her mind was actually giving her what she needed instead of filling her mind with senseless terror.

A hand ran a circle across her back and she realised that she wasn't fabricating the lullaby at all. Santana was actually singing softly to her and she was perched on Santana's lap, her head cradled against her chest as the latina rocket her softly. As Rachel listened to her girlfriend sing what she now referred to as her lullaby, she focused on evening out her breath and nuzzling into Santana's chest.

She felt Santana rest a shaking hand on her back before she pulled Rachel closer and sang sweetly and softly into her ear. Her voice was trembling and thick as though she was trying to force the words out as she cried but to Rachel, it was still beautiful and breathtaking. Santana's voice was beautiful even as she was choking out the words.

Finally, she realised that yes, she was curled into Santana's lap but they were both curled onto the floor and Santana's face was tear-streaked, pale and she looked terrified. She looked completely and totally terrified. But her eyes were firmly on Rachel, watching her, ready to do what she had to do to calm Rachel down.

"San! Are you okay?" Rachel asked as she lifted her own shaky hand to cup Santana's face. Santana seemed startled by the question as she responded by kissing Rachel's face and allowing her to continue wiping her tears away with her finger.

"Am I okay? Are you okay?"

"I... I don't know... What happened?"

Santana sobbed lightly. "You had a panic attack. You... I heard the chair tip back and I ran up. You were on the floor. I'd seen Britt have one before but... oh god, I wasn't prepared to see you... You were so pale!" Santana cried, unable to hold back her tears as she buried her face into her girlfriend's shoulder. "What happened?"

"I don't know. It was stupid but... You were gone and I kept thinking back to the night you were gone and... Please don't leave me," Rachel sobbed loudly. "I feel like I got all clingy again but... I don't know. I kept worrying you were gone again and I don't know why. You need space, too. I can't be clinging to you 24/7. You're going to get tired of me!"

"Okay, Rachel," Santana sobbed, "I promise, I'm not leaving you again. And if I'm not right beside you, know I'm always close. If you need me, call me. Okay? I will _never_ get tired of you. Ever. So don't worry about being too clingy. If you need me, let me know. Promise you'll let me know when you need me and I will do everything in my power to _get to you._"

"'Kay, Tana." Rachel yawned widely, burying her head into Santana's shoulder and drifting to sleep right there on the floor. By the time Santana manoeuvred the pregnant girl onto her bed, she was exhausted and ready to fall asleep herself. She took Bobby bunny from her bedside table and placed it into Rachel's arms before she scooted out of the bed and to the bathroom. She changed quickly before she dashed back to the bed.

Rachel had her face buried in the bunny's blue fur and was sleeping a little more tensely. However as soon as Santana crawled under the covers and the bed dipped, Rachel gravitated towards her. As soon as her head landed on Santana's shoulder, her face relaxed and she immediately relaxed. But something about her posture told Santana that it was probably going to be a rough night.

* * * LINEBREAK * * *

"Is she okay?"

Quinn had scooted into the booth and eyed Rachel and Santana with worried eyes. Rachel was asleep on Santana's shoulder and Santana was rubbing her shoulder soothingly, more than content to allow her exhausted girlfriend to sleep on her. She didn't care that people were staring, as far as she was concerned, they could go fuck themselves. She dared them to come up to her and say something.

"Awe, Quinnie, she's adorable when she sleeps! Why's she so sleepy now?" Brittany asked as she scooted into the booth after Quinn and excitedly wrapped an arm around her. Quinn flushed slightly but relaxed as she began toying with Brittany's fingers. It was Monday morning and the four girls were meeting for coffee before school. Santana had wanted to put off the meeting in favour of getting more sleep but they woke up two minutes later to Rachel's stomach exploring its newfound bipolar tendencies.

One second Rachel could be bending over the toilet power puking and five minutes later, her stomach would be growling for food. It was the strangest thing and neither of them could make sense of it. Santana couldn't make sense of how Rachel could even contemplate eating so soon after throwing up but she assumed it was a pregnancy thing.

"She had a panic attack yesterday and woke up three times throughout the night. She's pretty much back to square one since her fathers decided they were 'more than capable of handling their own daughter's emotional needs without the assistance of a teenage girl'... Only for her to have a panic attack because they were completely ill-equipped. Now, she's scared every time I leave her alone!"

"Oh, San! But they're probably sad. They can't help her, they wanted to but they couldn't. They feel guilty. One day when I was in school, Lord Tubbington got kidnapped by a biker gang of Simeon monkeys. He got rescued by an alley cat! I felt horrible because I wasn't there to help! He was so scared! They are guilty they weren't there to help her and you were. Now they feel like they can't help her and they got jealous of you because you could. They probably thought they could help," Brittany explained as she drank her unicorn frappuccino.

As completely confusing as it was, Brittany's logic made sense. The men hadn't been there to help her but she had been there and they were probably feeling as though they had failed as parents.

Her resentment for the men faded slightly but not completely because they had caused her girlfriend panic and discomfort and ultimately cancelled out a lot of the progress they had made with her nightmares. It was nothing near as bad as the nightmares in the very beginning but she was waking up at least twice a night and for Santana, it was so painful to see Rachel so nervous again and it hurt to see her girlfriend in pain again.

Rachel's fathers were trying their best to comfort Rachel. But there wasn't much they could do when there were times the sounds of their voices alone would be enough to cause Rachel to panic. This was something that tended to occur after a nightmare when one of the men would knock on the door to make sure everything was okay.

She wanted to be angry with them for having caused this by separating them but it was hard to stay angry when she saw them crying some nights over the fact that they could do virtually nothing to help their daughter except to pay for her vitamins, provide her with the foods she craved and give her the space she needed; space they weren't used to giving because the Berry men, much like Rachel, were affectionate and cuddly. To not be able to hold their daughter when she was upset must have been like a knife to the heart and that made Santana sympathise with the men.

But Rachel loved the fact that they respected her space and was working towards getting comfortable in the men's presence. She made a point to sit in a room with them when she was calm and relaxed and just talk about light, easy topics. She always sat close to Santana but she found herself once again finding comfort in their presence because their voices brought her back to a time when things were simpler. In those moments, they were her fathers again and they would do simple things like play the piano and sing for her.

When she was anxious and nervous however, all Rachel wanted was to curl up in bed with Santana and lay on her chest and listen to the sound of her breathing. And that was fine with Santana because she loved getting her snuggle on with Rachel. It comforted them both and it let her know that Rachel would actually make it known when she was upset and anxious. Except for last night.

Last night had been an attempt to prove she wasn't clingy. She understood why it happened but it was still painful to watch and even more painful for her because she knew it more than likely wouldn't be the last incident of that nature.

The panic attack that had occurred the first night the Berry men were home had been the very first panic attack Rachel had had. It was the first time that Rachel had been panicked beyond the point where the sound of her voice made any impact. It was the first time she had panicked to the point where she put herself at risk but what happened last night was different.

She had been having trouble breathing.

She had been on the verge of passing out.

Yes, she had witnessed that with Brittany but it was so scary to witness, even if she had seen it all before. It utterly terrifying because it left Santana torn between whether she should comfort Rachel or call an ambulance.

"Rachie! Can I hug you?"

Santana jumped slightly and saw that Rachel was no longer sleeping but resting peacefully against her shoulder and listening contently to the conversation.

Rachel accepted Brittany's hug. "My ultrasound is today."

"Yeah... Q-Ball, you're going to be on your own for practice because I'm going with Rachel for the appointment. We already told Coach Sylvester and she's fine with it. She said she's not going to remove Rachel from her spot either because she doesn't actually do any of the routines and isn't at any risk... I think its just because she makes them cry better than she does," Santana said proudly as she kissed the side of Rachel's face. She was proud of Rachel for finding her voice and an outlet for her frustrations that was both safe and... She found it so sexy when Rachel yelled at them. Rachel was already sexy but something about watching her being all authoritative made her all kinds of hot and bothered.

Especially afterwards when she'd meet in outside the locker room and pin her to the wall and kiss the life out of her.

_God_! The things that woman did to her just by _kissing_ her.

"I know it's because she makes them cry better than she does; she told me. She wants me to learn from her. So far, I've learnt insults, curse words and how to make them clean up their own damn vomit," Quinn shrugged, not that it was as much a problem. Since Rachel took over, the cheerios didn't train until they vomited as much unless Rachel was in a really bad mood or Elisabeth was feeling underhanded. "Oh and I learnt that I can make some of the baby Cheerios stop following me be saying Rachel was coming."

"Who'd have thought it would be Rachel's name to strike fear into the hearts of the Cheerios?"

Rachel shrugged as they sipped their drinks before standing up to make their way to the school. It was a nice drive but Rachel was nervous because today was the first time she was going to have an ultrasound. And an exam. She was going to have to let a stranger touch her. All through the first, Rachel worried about the exam. Her mind was so filled with uncertainty and questions.

When she stepped out of her first class, she saw just the Cheerio who could help her. So she asked Santana to go ahead without her while so spoke to Quinn. Santana nodded before disappearing down the hall.

"Quinn, can I talk to you?"

Quinn turned to Rachel with a small smile on her face as she placed her books into her locker and pulled out her books for math class. There were twenty minutes between first and second period because that was the time the teachers used to refill their coffees and grumble about their jobs in the staffroom. It was the only time they were tired and cranky enough to do so. In the morning they were too tired to grumble and the later periods took away some of the crankiness. Besides, it was the best time for them to warn each other about which students seemed to be more stubborn than usual and which ones were acting suspiciously good.

"Sure, Rachel. What's up?"

Rachel sighed nervously. "Can we talk somewhere private?"

She received a nod before Quinn guided her into the bathroom before demanding all everyone vacate. The baby Cheerios all ran from the room, eyeing the two girls who were easily the scariest people associated with the cheerios who _weren't_ coach Sylvester. One girl tripped over herself twice making her way to the door.

"I'm going in for my first ultrasound and exam for the baby and... What happens during the first exam?"

Quinn hoisted herself onto the counter after locking the door before patting the space next to her for Rachel to sit.

She and Rachel had become close since the day they made out with each other. It wasn't uncommon for them to sit in one of the bathrooms and just talk in the few weeks before the incident. Rachel had found relief in talking to Quinn and Quinn felt free to talk to Rachel about her feelings in regards to her sexuality.

They discovered they had a lot in common. They both loved Harry Potter and they both really enjoyed watching YouTube. But now, Rachel found herself filled with questions about pregnancy and her appointments and she knew Quinn was the person she was _most comfortable_ asking them to. Aside from Santana and Brittany, Quinn was one of the few people she could be alone with without feeling nervous. She always felt the safest around Santana but she knew Quinn could keep her safe just as well as Santana could.

There weren't any threats in the bathroom but it was still an assuring thought.

And the encouraging look on her hazel eyes was enough to make Rachel feel slightly more at ease.

"They will ask questions about your cycle, determine a due date, there will be an internal and then they'll do the ultrasound. They'll do STI testing and... Are you okay?"

Rachel shook her head. She was trembling slightly

"Do they have to do the internal?"

Suddenly, it made sense to Quinn what was bothering Rachel and she felt like a moron for not figuring it out sooner. Of course, this part of the exam was going to be a lot more difficult for her.

"I think so. They will do whatever they have to to make you comfortable. Do you know if your doctor is female?"

"Yes. There is only one OBGYN in Lima and she's a woman. Quinn, what was it like? Seeing her for the first time?" Rachel asked nervously.

"The doctor? She was great, super nice and patient..."

"No, Beth. What was it like seeing Beth for the first time?"

Quinn's eyes widened. "Oh. It was... indescribable. It was the moment the reality of the situation hit me. It was my 'holy crap, this is actually happening' moment and it was... They say it fills you with joy but it filled me with terror because I realised, I was responsible for the wellbeing of another human being and everything I did could impact the baby's health. I knew I'd have to give up Cheerios and instead of being happy to see her... I kind of resented her for everything I'd have to give up. The resentment faded and the second I held her for the first time, I knew I would give it all up in a second for her but at that moment, I didn't have the unconditional love because... I was too scared," Quinn whispered.

"I just don't know how to feel about this baby. They're there and that's it. Honestly, I'm still having trouble believing there's a person in there. Despite the vomiting and the constant aching in my breasts, it's more like a really long stomach virus," Rachel explained, worried she was revealing too much but Quinn just looked as though this was nothing short of stuff she expected to hear.

"Make sure you're not alone for the ultrasound, Rachel. It was an emotional experience for me, I don't want to think about what you'll go through. There was nothing in the world that could have prepared me for my first ultrasound and I don't doubt you're going to need support for yours."

"If the doctor doesn't let San into the appointment, I won't stay. I can't let someone else _touch_ me without San there. I _can't._"

"I know, Rachel. She'll make sure they don't hurt you... She hurt them if they do," Quinn stated with a sad smile as Rachel opened her eyes to indicate she was okay to receive a hug from Quinn. "She loves you. She'd move heaven and hell for you."

"Thank you, Quinn. I'm glad we became friends," Rachel replied happily. "I love Santana so much but it's nice to have someone else I can talk openly to. For the longest time, I only had Britt and that was only at dance practice and Puck at Temple but now I have San, you, Puck and Britt. But it's nice to talk to you about this because whenever I bring anything up with San or Britt, they get worried..."

"Mmm, Puck was the same. I'd say something like 'the baby kicked' and he'd be all over google trying to figure out what was wrong and how to make it better. It was hilarious!" Quinn chuckled as Rachel gave a small giggle, fully picturing Puck on a computer frantically searching 'why is my baby kicking my baby mama?' The vision of him in a panic over anything was hilarious. "He liked to blame himself whenever I'd complain about anything and sometimes, I made sure to let him know how responsible I thought he was. This was usually after a bout of morning sickness."

"Why do they call it morning sickness? I mean, I get sick in the morning but I've gotten sick at all hours!"

"I don't know but I never actually threw up in the morning with Beth. It was either before the last period or about an hour before I'd go to bed," Quinn shrugged.

"When will my breasts stop feeling like punching bags?"

"Hmm, that stopped a while after Beth was born but don't worry, it gets worse later; especially in the last month."

Quinn didn't sugar coat things and Rachel loved that about her. Quinn told things as they were and she did it in a way that was honest and straight forward. She liked the way Quinn didn't try to comfort her by saying everything would be fine to shelter her and leave her caught off guard when it wasn't. It was something both she and Santana did.

"Is that supposed to assure me?" Rachel partially chuckled.

"Its more of a suggestion to enjoy it while it's still mild. Believe it or not, this is the easy part," Quinn supplied and Rachel knew that was true. She wanted to ask what birth felt like but she didn't think she was ready to hear that just yet. Besides, she had a while before she even had to think about being worried about delivering. And that was fine by her. When the bell rang, Rachel found Santana and together, they went to history.

As Quinn left the bathroom, she failed to notice a set of feet dropping down from one of the toilets and the person exiting the stall with a huge, vicious smile on their face.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"Come on, Rachel. Let's go."

Rachel was doing her best to stay calm. Mainly by trying not the think about where she was. It was easier that way.

The OBGYN was located in a quiet part of Lima, where the train tracks crossed over the lake. From the waiting room, the view from the window was relaxing because you could see the lake, watch the cargo train go by twice a day or you could simply look out at the family of deer grazing the grass quietly. For Rachel, it was a soothing sight, made even more soothing by the fact that she was resting peacefully in her girlfriend's arms while her fathers attempted to 'calmly' speak to the receptionist about how long they had been waiting.

Rachel's appointment was at two and it was currently quarter to three and the doctor had yet to come out and even offer an excuse for her lateness. Rachel didn't care because she was happy to put the appointment off for as long as she could but her fathers seemed to be of the attitude that this was something that was best left done as soon as possible.

Santana seemed ready to get up and yell at everyone behind the desk for keeping them waiting while Rachel was so anxious.

Finally, the door opened and Rachel's name was called. Her nerves hit her all at once as she grabbed jumped violently in Santana's arms. Her instinct to run was hitting her hard. She wanted to run away from this office. She did not want to be here. It was too much. Too much. But she took a calming breath fand took in her girlfriend's perfect scent and found herself calming.

She clutched Santana's hand and told her fathers that she'd be out soon. She knew they wished they could go with her and say things to comfort her but there was nothing they could say or do that would make her comfortable with the exam that was about to happen.

The doctor gave her a gown to put on and as Rachel changed into it, Santana rubbed her shoulders and muttered that everything was going to be fine.

There were several questions that she'd been expecting.

Her weight, height, date of her last period... Because the doctor knew the circumstances behind the conception, she avoided questions about the father and whether they had tried to avoid pregnancy.

Then she had her temperature taken, blood pressure was checked and her blood was drawn.

This was difficult but the worse part was the internal exam.

The doctor asked Santana to step out and Rachel violently shook her head, making it clear if her girlfriend left the room that she was under not staying. The doctor sighed but allowed the latina girl to stay in the room.

Santana sat be Rachel's head and took both of her hands and looked into her eyes.

"Don't look away from my eyes, Mi Estrella. I'm right here, just pretend it's not happening," Santana murmured to Rachel as tears began falling down Rachel's cheeks and she fought the instinct to leap into her arms as the doctor began the internal exam. But Rachel did it, she looked straight into Santana's tear-filled, brown eyes and just looked as deeply into them as she could. She could see love, support, pain, frustration and sadness in Santana's eyes. But it was the love that stuck out the most.

The cry Rachel let out was painful for everyone in the room and it was loud enough to be heard from the waiting room. Santana bit her cheeks to keep herself from crying or pulling her into her arms. But she never blinked. She looked deeply into Rachel's eyes and held her hands with determination as she sang softly in Spanish to her. The look on her face was devastating and the grip on her hands was bone-crushing but she kept her face firm and once the exam was finished, she looked at the doctor and demanded a few minutes to calm Rachel down before they could continue with the ultrasound because Rachel was now outright sobbing.

This was the first time Rachel had been penetrated by _anything_ since _it_ happened and it was 100% clear that it was not something she was emotionally ready for at all. It was hurting her so badly but it had to be done for her health and for the health of the baby. The flashbacks were horrible but she did her best to stay grounded.

Then, before the doctor could agree, she scooped Rachel off the table and onto her lap, where she began rocking her while she sobbed her heart out onto her shoulder. Santana watched as the doctor slipped back into the room with the samples and as she wiped tears from her own eyes. Rachel buried her face into Santana and clutched at her desperately as though she would die if she let go even for a second.

When Rachel calmed down, she helped her into her pants and back onto the table just in time for the doctor to come in with a large machine that had all kinds of freaky buttons and a blank screen.

"Do you need any more time?"

"No. I think we just want to get this done now. Thank you for..."

"It's fine. It's hard. Let's do this. Let's take a look at your baby."

Rachel clutched Santana's hand tightly as she felt her stomach being exposed. The doctor thankfully was making a conscious effort to avoid touching Rachel's skin with her hands and she was beyond grateful for the woman's consideration. It was very doubtful that Rachel was the first rape victim to come into her office and she most likely wouldn't be the last.

She still hated herself for having so much trouble with the touch of other people. She used to love hugs. She used to love curling up on the couch in her father's arms and just watch a musical. Now, she tensed when the doctor simply rolled up her shirt.

It was already a nervewracking experience to get an ultrasound but to get it under her circumstances was... it was scary.

Santana sensed her discomfort and began peppering Rachel's face with kisses. When the nurse gave her a questioning glance, Santana glared back defensively.

"I'm not judging. I was actually going to ask about Rachel's support system."

"She has me, her fathers, our friends... She's not alone," Santana promised. "And she never will be alone again."

"Good."

The doctor's reply was simple as she plugged in the machine and began prepping the wand.

"This is going to be cold."

The wand hit Rachel's skin and she jumped. Santana glared at the woman briefly but Rachel placed a hand on her arm and assured her she was fine.

"It was cold."

Suddenly, a sound filled the room. It sounded like... a heartbeat. Only it was so fast.

The screen had a few bubbles that were becoming visible on the screen. And they were together. One of the bubbles was clearly a head and the other was a torso.

"Dios mio! That looks like a peanut!"

Rachel stared at the moving _peanut_ and her mind went numb. Before she had been dealing with the idea of being pregnant and now she realised just what this meant for her life. There was an actual baby. Quinn was right, it was as though the ultrasound somehow made all of this seem _real._

That _baby_ was inside of her. It was really there. This was really happening. She was actually pregnant! That was _her baby!_

"Santana..."

"I know, Rachel," Santana replied, peppering her face with kisses again as she rubbed her thumb across Rachel's cheek. Santana was also staring at the screen with a look of awe and astonishment on her face as she clutched Rachel's hand tightly.

As the wand moved, the baby became clearer and clearer and Rachel just stared down at her stomach because she was just now realising that right down there was a human being. A tiny life. There was a living person inside of her. A person who had to potential to become so much. She could be carrying the next president. This baby could be the saviour of the world. This child could grow up to cure cancer.

But regardless, there was a pure, innocent and tiny little life inside of her. A life that depended on her for everything.

At that moment, she was so overwhelmed. This was just... It was real now. She was pregnant.

"Are they a boy or a girl?" Rachel asked numbly, honestly too overwhelmed to process any emotion besides shock.

"It is too soon to tell, Ms Berry. We should be able to tell in the next few months."

The put the wand down and handed Santana a cloth. Rachel let Santana wipe off her belly and soon enough, she was fully clothed and sitting back on Santana's lap. Santana was shooting the doctor a look that was clearly daring the doctor to comment on the arrangement. The doctor simply smiled sadly and looked through the file with a stoic look on her face.

"Okay, so the baby is healthy. A nice strong heartbeat and the growth appears to be fine. I noticed some scar tissue within your vaginal walls but honestly, that's normal given the... circumstances and the doctors wouldn't have been able to do anything when it happened. So, how are you feeling? Any morning sickness? Breast tenderness? Cravings?"

"Well, yet... To all of the above though it's less morning sickness and more... randomly throughout the day sickness," Rachel said with a frown. "I'll be doing something and all of a sudden, I'm throwing up. It's always so random."

The doctor chuckled and explained that every woman was different in how her body responded to pregnancy. It had a lot to do with hormones, stress levels, Rachel's body chemistry and so much more. But at the end of the day, there was nothing she could do for the morning sickness except recommend saltines and constant hydration because over the counter medication could be harmful to the fetus. But she assured her that it would most likely ease up by the second trimester.

"If you have questions, call me, day or night. Concerns. Worries. Don't hesitate, Miss Berry," the doctor said looking over the papers. "Now, I have your samples and the results should be back by the end of the week. I won't be calling unless we find something but to put your mind at rest, I don't see that happening because everything appears to be fine."

"Thank you."

Leaving the doctor's office was a quiet event. Nobody spoke. Everyone was too deep in thought to have anything to say. Santana was too busy trying to assess the look on Rachel's face when she saw the baby, Rachel was busy processing the fact that there was a baby inside of her and the Berry men were trying to make sure both girls were okay.

When they pulled into the parking lot of Dairy Queen, Rachel walked over to her fathers and smiled fondly at them before pulling them into her arms for a quick hug. At first, despite having initiated the contact, she tensed but soon enough, she found comfort in the embrace. It was the same scent she sought comfort from as a small child. The same arms that hugged her when she got boo-boos and she was so relieved to find that the embrace did not remind her of _him_ or what he had done.

The men both stiffened slightly before they each slowly wrapped an arm around their daughter. They were both stunned and nervous to do something wrong but they both smiled as tears ran down their cheeks. It wasn't the same kind of hug they would have shared in the past. It was hesitant; experimental. For Rachel, it was a test of her limits and an attempt to meet her desire for closeness with her fathers. Up until now, she had not made full physical contact with any males and she had been so scared that to hug her fathers when she wasn't in a state of anxiety would still remind her of Finn but instead, it did the opposite.

It reminded her of a time when things were simpler. It reminded her of when she was a child. She wasn't nervous in their embrace. She was fine. She was actually fine. It was a big deal for her to hug her fathers and everyone knew it. Their grips were loose so she could back away if she needed to but still, it was contact from the men who had always comforted her when she needed it and though she knew she was having a tough day, she really needed to embrace her fathers.

When the three Berrys broke apart, they all had tears in their eyes but they were all grinning happily at each other. Santana was watching the exchange closely and she planted a proud kiss on her girlfriend's cheek as she skipped to her side with a smile on her face.

"I missed hugging my fathers."

"I know. Now. What do you want to eat?"

"Ice cream with peanut butter and bacon!" Rachel said as she pulled Santana into the restaurant, not seeing the look her fathers were giving her. It was a look of astonishment. The men weren't used to their daughter eating meat or dairy but to hear that combination was just... strange. It was a strange combination that left the staff baffled as to how to ring in ice cream with bacon as an extra. And even more baffled when she asked for mayo, shredded cheese and ketchup on top. The woman stared at the cash register for about a minute before adding an 'ask me' note before calling back to the kitchen with the order.

After the confused cook came from the kitchen to make sure she wasn't joking, they served up the ice cream and Rachel grinned happily at her treat when it came.

Santana watched her girlfriend eat the... concoction and it was clear her girlfriend was enjoying it but she was... Well, she was doing her best not to show how she felt about the actual combo and in her opinion, she was doing better than the Berry men who were simply expressing shock at seeing Rachel so much of the things she had actively gone out of her way to avoid.

Once they were done eating, they went back to the Berry house.

They sat in the living room and Rachel asked a question that had been on her mind for a while. This was real now and she wanted to assess her fathers would react to her actually exercising her options in regards to the baby who had suddenly become so real.

"What would you do if I kept the baby? Not just through the pregnancy but... raised them."

The men looked at their daughter and back to each other before they both sat on the couch, indicating for Rachel and Santana to be seated.

"Rachel, we will support you, no matter what you choose to do. If you decide to keep the baby, we will be fine?"

Rachel nodded, pleased by the answer as the men did their best to communicate their support. It wasn't shocking. Rachel had pretty much been supported and encouraged to make her own choices as long as she was certain and was well informed on the consequences to her actions.

So when they said they were okay with her bringing a baby home, she knew it was true.

"Babies are loud."

"We know. We raised one," LeRoy supplied. "Honey, whatever you do, we will support and we will help any way we can. We just hope you realise it might be difficult, especially if the baby is a boy. Are you ready for that, Rachel?"

Rachel leaned back into her girlfriend's embrace and allowed herself to find comfort in Santana's arms before she looked up at her fathers with a contemplative expression on her face as she tried to find the best way to say what was on her mind.

"I am aware it might not be easy but this baby is innocent. If I keep them, it is because I am certain I can look at them without drawing that connection. I have a while to decide what to do. I am going to proceed with the pregnancy. By the time they are born, I will make the decision whether or not to keep them."

Hiram put his hand on LeRoy's shoulder and both men nodded to show they understood what their daughter was saying.

Both men sat on the couch and Rachel watched them closely trying to figure out how they were feeling about this.

As a little girl, Rachel was both determined and focused on her goals, which to most children her age was common but the amount of enthusiasm she put into it was not. While the other girls were playing house, playing with toys and chasing the boys on the playground, Rachel was practising her scales, performing dance routines with Brittany and filling her mind with anything associated with Broadway.

When she was about four, she had told them she wasn't going to have kids because she was going to be far too busy performing to be a daddy. And once they explained to her that she would be a 'mommy' not a 'daddy, she nodded but stood by her original argument.

"How am I supposed to change a nappy while I'm singing on stage. The audience doesn't like nappies. I don't like nappies!"

Of course, this was all a perfectly acceptable reason for the four-year-old. As she got older, she was a little more impartial to the idea.

By the time she was twelve, she had become devoted to her dreams and dedicated all of her time to improving her dancing, singing, and acting.

Gymnastics had been the one thing she had taken to that had nothing to do with Broadway and honestly, it was something she had put almost as much enthusiasm towards.

At twelve, she had decided for a bit that she didn't want kids because she would have to give up gymnastics. That was almost as unthinkable of not working towards Broadway.

To her, Broadway was her dream but Gymnastics had always been a means of relaxation and joy. It was something she absolutely loved with her heart and soul.

Broadway was her dream, her devotion and her life... She did it for her future for who she wanted to be.

But Gymnastics had always been for her and her alone. It was the one thing she did without putting any pressure on herself for perfection and did it just because she loved it. She worked hard to get better because to her it wasn't work. Training had always been relaxing and once she began high school, it was her one and only opportunity to hang around with Brittany. It was what she did when she needed to relax.

Brittany was the first person she had ever spoken to about the possibility of wanting children one day. They had been fifteen and they were sitting in the dressing room after practice and they were just talking as they had always done.

Brittany had smiled and told her she would make a good mother.

Rachel was reluctant to believe her. She didn't understand back then how she could ever give up so much for the sake of a child; her body, time and everything else she'd have to do and give up not only while pregnant but when the baby was born. She knew after having a baby, her body would be a mess.

But now, she understood how these sacrifices came about. Now she understood the desire and need to put the health and wellbeing of someone other than herself. Because now, even as she still debated within herself whether or not she would raise the baby, she knew she would do what she had to for the health and safety of this life she was now responsible for.

She would be giving up her training until such time that she could safely perform her training. She would continue to coach and do workouts that were safe for her to do but for the time being, she could not compete. And she was okay with that. She didn't look at the ultrasound and feel overwhelming love and joy but she felt enough to do what she had to for the safety of the baby. It was more than she had expected to feel.

She _cared_ for the baby and she could see it becoming love. One day. Not today. But she could see it happening. She wanted the baby to be safe.

"I understand."

Hiram Berry, ever the rational man, was, of course, the first to understand his daughter's words. Well, maybe not _understand_ but doing his best to make it clear that he would support whatever decision she made.

LeRoy simply nodded, clearly unsure of what to say or do in this situation. His baby girl was pregnant. She was in high school.

Santana watched the family process the situation. Clearly, everyone was deep in thought about what to do. She was deep in thought. This was not a black and white situation. It was complicated.

Rachel had not gone off and had reckless sex with someone she loved.

She had been hurt and now she was living with the consequences; consequences to someone else's actions.

Santana wasn't sure how to feel about the pregnancy. She loved her girlfriend and she would stay by her side no matter what she decided to do. She had no doubt in her mind that Rachel could accomplish her dreams whether or not she decided to keep the baby.

But the situation was not ideal. There was going to be gossip.

"Dad. Daddy. Is it okay if I go stay at Santana's tonight? I know I agreed to be here during the week but... I kind of want to sleep in her bed tonight," Rachel explained slowly, unsure of how the men would react but she wanted to sleep in the space that was so one hundred per cent Santana.

Her fathers both agreed. Without question. No hesitation because this time, they were actually looking at their daughter when she made the request and they could see it was what she needed. So they agreed.

Santana smiled softly and pulled her girlfriend up and watched as Rachel hugged her fathers tensely but still, it was a hug and that was a really big deal. Santana knew it was a big deal and so did the Berry men because they both looked ready to cry tears of joy.

When Rachel went upstairs to grab a few things, LeRoy pulled Santana off to the side with a nervous expression on his face.

"How is she doing? Really."

Santana sighed, she had been expecting this. Rachel had a way of sugar-coating things to her fathers, even after they witnessed her first panic attack, Rachel did her best to play everything off as okay when she could. But clearly, the men were not fooled... Probably because they _knew their daughter._

"She's getting better. She has good das and she had bad days. She's been... anxious since..."

The words hung in the air but it was clear what she was about to say. Despite the words not being spoken, they were like a slap to LeRoy but a slap he deserved.

"I appreciate your honesty. Do you think she can handle this?"

"I know she can. It won't be easy but she's got me, you, Hiram, Quinn, Brittany, Puck... She's not alone," Santana said softly as she assured the man for the first time since she met him. This was the first time she had said anything nice or comforting to the man. She hadn't glared or cursed at him but she made it clear that he wasn't her favourite person. And he made it clear that he understood this.

As Santana escorted Rachel from the house, she gave a soft gasp as she realised she had forgotten her medication for her ADHD. As she stepped into the Berry household, she heard sobbing. Rachel didn't hear but every night, the men sobbed in their bedrooms once they were sure Rachel was asleep. But Santana heard. She said nothing and drew no attention to herself and slipped into the car to find Rachel staring at her with love in her anxious eyes.

"Ready?"

One nod and Santana started her car. The drive was quick and they made their way into the house and straight to Santana's room.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

**The second they arrived into her bedroom, Rachel pushed Santana against the wall as she kissed Santana hungrily. Finally, after a few moments of tender exploration, Rachel began tugging Santana's top off. **

**"Rachel, are you..."**

**"Please, Santana. Just... Let's... I want to."**

**Santana nodded before lifting Rachel and gently laying her onto her bed. Rachel's lips quickly found hers and the kissing resumed.**

**"Can we take our clothes off?"**

**Santana was hesitant but one look into Rachel's eyes was enough to take away her hesitance, especially once she felt Rachel, once again, tug her shirt upwards. She gave a small chuckle as she lifted her arms to allow her shirt to be removed from her body. Followed by her bra.**

**A warm tongue touched her nipple before she could register what happened and the moan that left her lips was loud and passionate.**

**As things became heated, Rachel began stripping herself of her clothes as well. Soon, she was laying on top of Santana, kissing her lips with bruising force; their skin touching so beautifully.**

**When Santana felt Rachel's finger hit her throbbing sex, she could not stop herself from moaning into Rachel's mouth.**

**"Rachel... you don't have to."**

**"I want to. Let me make you feel good," Rachel purred, slowly inserting a finger into Santana's wet slit. She thrust in and out, making sure to work Santana's clit with her thumb. Soon, she was two fingers in and Santana's stressed body finally shuddered out her orgasm, moaning Rachel's name. A much-needed orgasm after the day they had had; the release was powerful and immediately she felt so at ease. **

**She softly kissed Rachel's cheek before smiling at Rachel's eyes, which were glazed over with need and desire.**

**"San?"**

**Santana smiled, knowing Rachel was going to ask to take care of herself. There was no way she wasn't turned on; it was plain as day. In fact, she looked more turned on than the first night they had been intimate. She looked ready to explode already. **

**"Yeah, Rachel?"**

**She knew Rachel was going to say...**

**"Touch me."**

**Okay, of all the things she had been expecting, that was not it. That was the last thing she expected, especially today. She was more than fine holding Rachel in her arms while she touched herself. She was fine feeling her girlfriend give herself an orgasm.**

**As much as she wanted to touch her girlfriend and make her come undone by her own fingers and tongue, it was _not _something she was going to do unless she was 100% sure that was what Rachel wanted.**

**"Rachel..."**

**"Touch me, San."**

**Rachel's voice was filled with conviction, passion and determination.**

**"Are _you sure,_ Rachel? Is this a good idea right now?"**

**Rachel paused and looked deep into Santana's eyes.**

**"San, please. So far, I have only been touched either the doctor or _him_ but San... I wanna be touched by you. I want a touch that means something. I _need_ you to _please_... touch me. I want to feel you down there. I want to share _myself_ with you."**

**Santana cupped Rachel's cheeks and saw nothing but sincerity in her eyes. Rachel wanted to be touched. That was enough to make her centre start throbbing with anticipation at the idea of feeling Rachel cum around her fingers.**

**She nodded. "Okay, tell me what you want me to do? I want to make you feel _good_ and _comfortable._"**

**Rachel paused and thought for a second before answering with a blush on her cheeks. Santana kissed her cheeks and smiled down at her girlfriend who was still coming up with the right words to describe the way she wanted to be touched. **

**"Rub me. Please don't go... _in_. I'm not ready for that but rub me."**

**Santana pulled Rachel closer, kissing up and down her jawline, nibbling Rachel's ear lobe and the second a moan escaped Rachel's lip, she whispered, "Okay, what's the safe word."**

**"Sanctuary."**

**"Just checking. I'm going to do it now, okay?" Santana said nervously. This was a bit intimidating. But she was so excited to touch Rachel.**

**"Kiss me, San."**

**"Anytime."**

**The second their lips met, there was hunger but the kisses were slow and drawn out. As Rachel's fingers wove their way into her hair, she traced her fingers down Rachel's belly before slowly tracing her thighs.**

**The second her fingers met her wet, hot centre, Rachel moaned into her mouth. Her grip on her hair tightened and Rachel immediately thrust her hips to gain more contact from Santana's fingers.**

**Santana kept her movements slow, making sure her fingers stayed around Rachel's clit, only deviating to gather some of Rachel's essence to make her movements smoother and more pleasurable and she was succeeding because Rachel's moans were echoing from her walls. To Santana, it was the most beautiful sound she had ever heard and the feeling of Rachel's clit under her fingers was addictive. Especially as she felt her hips bucking against her hand.**

**She took her free hand and gently cupped Rachel's face and looked into her eyes, making sure to project all the love she could into Rachel's eyes and this seemed to cause Rachel's eyes to widen with love, happiness and joy as she kept their gazes locked together. A tear fell from both of their eyes as the intimacy of the moment hit them and suddenly, their bodies began moving of their own accord and it was clear Rachel was approaching her orgasm.**

**Her hips began bucking faster and Santana's fingers moved with them. She was following Rachel's pace exactly and she held Rachel's gaze so she could make one hundred per cent sure that she was comfortable. She could see in her eyes that she was. She was looking back into Santana's eyes with so much hunger, passion and _love._ It was like breathing love into her very soul and it made her entire body glow with feelings she couldn't describe but satisfied her _soul_ the way an orgasm satisfied her body. **

**"Oh, god, San... I'm gonna... Oh shit! I'm... I'm cum... YES!"**

**When Rachel shuddered out her orgasm, Santana peppered her face with kisses as she slowly moved her fingers to prolong the pleasure. **

When Rachel finally stilled, she met Santana's eyes again and there was no fear or anxiety in her eyes; only love and adoration. For a few seconds, Rachel looked completely and totally at peace as she smiled, her entire face aglow.

"Are you okay, Rachel?"

"I'm... I'm good. I love you, San." Rachel cried out, more tears spilling.

"I love you, too. Though I am very surprised by what just happened," Santana replied, positioning Rachel so that she was cradling against her chest. Rachel reached up and ran her fingers through Santana's long, black hair.

"I wanted you to touch me. I needed you to touch me. I wanted to show you that I trust you one hundred per cent and... I wanted to share myself with you, Santana."

"I..."

Santana was at a loss for words. But Rachel wasn't finished talking yet.

"I know I'm not ready for penetration but... I wanted to come as close to making love with you as I possibly could," Rachel replied as she buried her face in the crook of Santana's neck, holding her waist and running her fingers along the skin as she kissed Santana's cheek.

But Santana was too busy looking at Rachel with raw love and adoration.

"Oh, Rachel." It was practically a breath it came out so quietly. "That was making love."

"But..."

"No," Santana said loving as she put her finger up to Rachel's lips to stop her argument. "When we touched each other, it was an expression of our love and what we feel for each other. We made love. _I _made love to you. It doesn't matter if I penetrate you or not, that was making love. To me, every time we touch each other like that it's making love."

The look that crossed Rachel's face was a look of pure adoration and love.

"I love hearing you say that."

"And I love saying, mi Estrella."

"Can we sleep like this?" Rachel pointed to their embrace and their state of dress.

"I planned on it," Santana purred, kissing Rachel's lip softly.

"Can we sleep like this every night we're here?" Rachel asked smiling at the idea.

"I love you, San."

"And I love you, Rach."

And that was how the two girls fell asleep. Holding each other tightly, thinking about the love they had just made and for the first time, Rachel didn't have a single nightmare because she was just too happy and she felt so safe in Santana's arms.

Rachel sighed as she woke up in the morning, opening her eyes to find herself staring into Santana's love-filled brown eyes.

"Good morning, beautiful."

"Mmm, good morning, San."

Rachel stretched briefly before pressing her lips against Santana's.

"Did you sleep well? How are you feeling after what happened?"

Rachel smiled at her girlfriend's worry before she captured Santana's lips again.

"I am fine. In fact, my only regret is not letting you do it sooner. It felt so good and you made me feel so loved while you were doing it. I love you so much for that. You made me feel loved. Treasured. Important. Wanted," Rachel sighed as Santana's eyes began to water slightly at her words as her smile grew.

"That's how I want you to feel every time we make love," Santana replied as she kissed Rachel's brow.

"You're okay that I won't always want to be touched down there when we do make love, right?"

"Rachel, we can make love however you want, whenever you want," Santana replied happily. "Because it will be an expression of our _love_ and that is what means everything to me. I'm not used to feeling this way but with you, I just want you to be happy. I know we're quite young to be talking like this but everything we've been through has matured us. Rachel, I love you."

"Santana. That... I am so happy right now. That means so much to me. I love you. I love you so much. You saved my life, you know that, right?"

Rachel nuzzled Santana's breasts and enjoyed the way Santana's skin smelt.

"Well, we need to get going. We can cuddle naked tonight but for now, we have Cheerio practice," Santana replied as she pulled Rachel out of bed... And ran after her as her stomach decided to give them a reason to rush out of bed. Santana found herself wondering just how long the morning sickness would last.

**By the way, extra loud shoutout anyone who gets my 'Biker gang of Simeon monkeys'.**


	11. Elisabeth

**Short chapter due to computer error, more info at the end. Next chapter will be longer and a lot is going to happen. I'm planning it out on paper now and I'm going to write it out in the middle of the week.**

**ALSO: Had our Pride Parade this weekend and I'm so excited! So Happy Pride week... :D **

**WARNING: Very minor sexual activity; two paragraphs marked in bold.**

**Chapter Rating: T+ **

**Note: Next chapter will be longer**

**Bigmac1989: My reference is closer in times from a youtube channel; on video specifically. I might include Spanish cursing from Rachel in the future. Quinn is going to be the person she goes to for her pregnancy, she has two fathers and Quinn is the closest person in her life who had a baby and could relate. Things with Rachel's fathers and Santana will be tense. They're pretty much calling a truce for Rachel's sake, especially LeRoy and Santana but I think it will be a while before they're close.**

**Guest3: thank you and you were correct about Elisabeth. It was her. **

**Auntedra: Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoy. **

The following morning when Rachel and Santana woke up, it was pure bliss... for about five minutes before Rachel looked into Santana's warm brown eyes and found that she was awake and watching her with a look of contentment and joy. Rachel replied to her look and unspoken words by kissing her nose softly.

Santana beamed for a moment before she fixed Rachel with a look of concern.

"Last night was... I loved what happened last night. I loved making love to you but I just want to make sure you're okay," Santana asked softly as she felt Rachel nuzzle contently into her shoulder.

"Santana. I have no regrets. I love you. I love making love to you. Last night was beautiful and now I know what a good touch feels like. What a lover's touch should feel like. Now I know what it feels like to have someone look you in the eyes with complete love while they make love to you and because of that, I am so much better than okay," Rachel sighed as she kissed Santana's nose, making the Latina beam happily as she wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulders and snuggled her closer. "Last night was perfect, Santana. _You_ were perfect."

"I'm happy you trust me enough to allow me to touch you like that," Santana said as she kissed the side of Rachel's face, remembering the look on her face as she came undone _by her fingers._ To any other couple, it wasn't a big deal but to them, it was huge. It was the first time Rachel had felt okay enough with allowing someone, besides the doctor, to touch her down there and it was for pleasure, not because she needed it. It made Santana's heart soar with joy as she placed a kiss on Rachel's neck, grinning as Rachel moaned a little bit.

It was pure bliss right at that moment. She felt Rachel's hands on her face and before she knew it, she was captured into a deep, hungry kiss. Tongues began exploring, hands roamed and made their way to new destinations. Just as Santana was about to look to Rachel for consent to proceed...

_Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... _

"Ugh, Santana. Can we just stay and do this?"

"Mm, I'd love to but I think coach Sylvester would have an aneurysm," Santana moaned as she wrapped her arms around Rachel's shoulder and pulled her close and peppered her face with kisses.

"I love you, Santana."

"I love you, too, Rachel."

"Maybe if we're quick..."

"No, Rachel. When we make love, it will be passionate and beautiful, not rushed. You deserve better than that. But we can get in the shower together and go to the Lima Bean for breakfast," Santana purred, making butterflies swim frantically in Rachel's belly. As much as she wanted to have Santana for a few minutes, she knew she was right. Her first time had been bad and she wanted to make sure when they were together, it was special.

**"Last night, was _our_ first time touching _each other_; more important, my first time _touching_ you and it was special. I want to take my time and savour the experience as I touch you because when I touch you, its because you love and trust me enough to do so. And I love the way you feel as you whither under me as I _slowly_ bring you to an orgasm and the things that come out of your mouth as you cry my name," Santana replied, as Rachel's pupils began dilating hungrily at her words, making her realise it wasn't the best time to be talking like this. They had to get up and get showered. **

**But now, she could feel wetness on her thigh from Rachel's core. She was in a similar state. But Rachel was unconsciously grinding herself against her thigh as she began going into more detailed descriptions of the things she enjoyed doing to her. Santana knew what Rachel was doing and because she could tell Rachel was close, she just began softly moving her thigh to give her assistance until she felt her shudder as she came. **

"I... I'm so sorry, Santana! I didn't mean for that to..."

Santana put up a finger to Rachel's mouth and stopped her apology.

"Never apologise for that. That was beautiful Rachel. You are beautiful," Santana purred out. "Let's go shower. _Cold_ shower, Rachel."

And ignore the temptation to say 'fuck school' and spend the day making love. So tempting and Rachel agreed. But they couldn't.

So they made their way to her en-suit and got into the shower. Rachel preferred to spend the shower playing little spoon to Santana than showering and Santana was happy to hold her close. She loved the way their skin felt when they held each other naked but there was something special about holding each other _naked _and _wet._ Perhaps it was the wet part.

Soon enough, they were dressed in matching ponytails and wearing their respective uniforms. It was interesting seeing Rachel in Cheerio colours and still made Santana kind of turned on because she loved seeing Rachel so passionate. IN Glee, she was still passionate but it turned out, Rachel had a passion for Gymnastics and dance that Glee couldn't hold a flame to. Her speciality was Gymnastics but she was so passionate and so excited. She took everything so personally and she loved watching the girls improve.

She still did demonstrations for the girls and Sue allowed it... Except when she wanted to demonstrate anything that involved her feet leaving the ground.

"_No, Streisand, I cannot risk a pregnant girl being dropped onto the ground from that high up. Consider yourself lucky I'm allowing you to do the moves you do." _

That had been what she had to say when Rachel asked to demonstrate a move for the flyers. Coach Sylvester was known for her risky performances and ordinarily, she didn't care what happened because it was performance over safety _but_ when it came to Becky, Brittany and now Rachel, she put safety first. She put their emotional needs first and despite nobody saying anything, it was obvious why. Becky was obvious because she had a soft spot for the girl but Brittany and Rachel... There were speculations among the cheerios.

When she started with Brittany, they had assumed she was simpling things down to her 'lesser mind' but when she began treating Rachel the same, their confusion returned. Brittany was a free-spirit thinker and said what she wanted but she wasn't dumb. She was a brilliant dancer and she was brilliant at maths which she used in her dance routines but she was still perceived as unintelligent to the cheerios. However, Rachel, was by no means, perceived as unintelligent to the Cheerios.

Naturally, questions were raised but nobody asked the Coach and nobody risked Santana's wrath to walk up to either girl and ask what they had done to get in the bitter woman's good grace.

It was a little after six that the doorbell rang and Rachel opened the door to let Brittany into the house while Santana prepared their protein smoothies with extra vitamins so Rachel could hopefully absorb them and keep them down.

"You had sexy-times!" Brittany squealed in a hushed tone as she laid eyes on Rachel who blushed at how perceptive Brittany always was. Brittany always noticed things in Rachel nobody else could and she always said something. _Always_. No matter how awkward. She still cringes when she remembered Brittany bringing up her first period. And when she started wearing a bra. But it was the first time that she had taken a 'hands-on' approach to relaxation that was awkward.

But now, they were so open as they talked about sex that this comment simply made her blush because she was now remembering the night before.

"I let her touch me," Rachel whispered. "It was amazing!"

Brittany squealed and threw her arms around Rachel before apologising. Rachel beamed and hugged her friend back happily.

"I'm so happy for you! Quinn wants to wait until we can make it special. She says it's going to be our first time and I think she wants her first time with a woman to be more special than her first time. How did it go last night?"

"Amazing. Santana made sure I was okay and it was perfect. I'm so happy to finally share myself with her," Rachel replied. "You were right."

"I always am, silly. I've been telling you that since we met. Good morning, Tana!"

Rachel turned around to find Santana standing in the room with three smoothies.

"I made you one, Brittany. The paler one is Rachel's. I put the prenatal powder in it."

Rachel wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and kissed her cheek as she took a sip of the smoothie. It was Very Berry and she appreciated the irony. She loved the flavour and she loved the way Santana made it special for her.

The three girls made their way to Santana's car while Brittany and Rachel chatted away.

"Rachel, I want to take you on a date this weekend. A real date. Our last attempt got cancelled but I want to treat you," Santana said as she pulled into the school.

"Okay, Santana. What'd you have in mind?" Rachel asked.

"You'll see. Saturday at six," Santana said as she pulled open Rachel's door so she and Brittany could slip out. Rachel _hated_ not being able to kiss her in the parking lot but she couldn't today because all eyes seemed to be on them. It was mostly Cheerios in the parking lot and they were all looking at Rachel with speculating eyes.

Rachel immediately felt self-conscious and uncomfortable because it was clear they were all looking at her, pointing and whispering. It wasn't the usual glances, it was as though they were judging her.

She grabbed Santana's hand as they passed a cluster of cheerios who were openly staring and looking Rachel up and down.

"Everyone's staring," Rachel whispered to Santana, feeling herself shrink into her girlfriend's side. She felt an arm snake around her waist before Santana moved away long enough to take a violent step towards the leering Cheerios.

"Hey, why don't you take a fucking picture! It'll last longer, huh? Go the fuck away before I have you running suicides until you're _dead!_"

The Cheerios paled and ran towards the gym as fast as their feet could carry them. Rachel blinked before wrapping her arm around Santana's waist. When the embrace was returned, she smiled nervously. She felt Brittany grab her hand gently and soon enough they were on their way to the gym.

"People are rude, Rachie," Brittany said gently as she rubbed circles on the back of Rachel's hand.

The gym was filled with the usual noise of the morning as girls warmed up and gossiped.

"I swear to god, I'm going to go Lima Heights on the next person to stop and stare at you," Santana ground out, glaring at everyone. But she was worried. Why were they all staring at Rachel now? There were so many possibilities running through her mind and none of them were good. Because people were still subtly looking at Rachel with inquisitive eyes as though they were trying to solve a mystery.

However as soon as Rachel was in the gym, the room went quiet for several seconds until Santana glared at everyone with a look that promised the whole team would suffer if they continued staring.

Quinn Fabray made her way towards them an immediately Rachel's stomach sank to her feet with dread. Quinn's expression was grim and sad; she knew what was going on and Rachel knew it was bad. The first thing Quinn did was pull Brittany into a gentle hug before she turned to look at Rachel was sadness and dread. She was dreading what she had to say.

"They know, Rachel."

"Know what?" Brittany asked as Santana spat out a simple "who?"

"Everyone knows, San! Elisabeth has been telling everyone about the baby!" Quinn cried out. "I don't know how she found out but she did and she told everyone this morning. I tried to stop her but by the time I got here... she had told everyone and they had already texted everyone they know!"

Rachel's face went from nervous to cold within seconds as she turned her stare to Elisabeth who paled drastically, knowing at that moment that she had _fucked up_!

"It's okay, Quinn, I'll deal with it."

"Rachel..."

"They were going to find out eventually..."

"I'mma kill that Puta!" Santana ground out, taking a step towards Elisabeth who for a second looked ready to wet herself when she saw the glares from Quinn and Santana but it was the glare from Brittany that held most punch. Brittany never glared; people wondered if her face was capable of glaring but to see a glare on her face was scary. Rachel didn't know her blonde friend could come up with such a glare.

"No. I've got this! I've wanted to do this for a while!"

Santana sighed. "But Rachel..."

"Everyone, gather around _now!_"

The Cheerios wasted no time in running to where Rachel was now staring at them with a cold, hard expression on her face that... much like Brittany's glare, was out of place and wrong. Baby Cheerios were huddled together, knowing they had spread the word and were expecting hell-fire. The older Cheerios were freaking out but they were better at hiding it.

Elisabeth was trying to appear aloof and unaffected but her skin had gone pale.

"You know, Elisabeth! You have made my life so much easier for a couple of reasons! Want to know why?"

Rachel's voice was cold and dripping with sarcasm as she stood in front of Elsabeth who had attempted to hide behind Quinn, only to be shoved closer to Rachel.

Elisabeth didn't answer so Rachel began talking again. "First of all, you took it upon yourself to go behind _my back_ and share my private information about _my _pregnancy... which has _nothing to do with you_, now I don't have to worry about everyone finding out because they already know. So thank you!"

"You're welcome?"

Elsabeth knew there was more coming. Everyone knew there was more coming. It was obvious by the look on Rachel's face.

"Finally, thank you for finally giving me a reason to kick your lazy, unmotivated, talentless, pathetic ass off this team," Rachel ground out. "Because someone on _my _team wouldn't go around spreading private and sensitive information about me or _anyone_ on this team and frankly... You suck. If you made up for what you lack in talent with personality and wit that would be one thing but you don't!"

Elsabeth gasped loudly as glared back at Rachel.

"Excuse me! I'm very talented, you _slut!_"

"You know. You're right! You are talented. I've seen talent like yours in a group at my Gymnastics studio!"

The entire room went still as they all turned to stare at the two girls. Elsabeth was standing defiantly and Rachel was holding out her chest with a scary grin on her face. It was like watching a cat releasing a mouse only to catch it by its tale seconds later.

Elisabeth poufed out her chest, thinking she was being compared to Rachel's competitive gymnasts. Rachel had shown videos of the competitions and to be compared to them was a compliment. "Thank you!"

"Yes, Elisabeth! You give the Tumble Tots a run for their money! Not much, though. My twelve-years-olds have more stamina, determination and personality than you!"

Rachel purred out as though she were complimenting her and not insulting her.

"Excuse me!"

"Yes, you are excused. Get out!"

The now ex-Cheerio looked around the room for support or someone to stand up for her but found everyone was avoiding her gaze; either looking to the ground or staring at their cuticles.

"You can't do this, you _slut!_ When the coach finds out she'll..."

"... Support Rachel 100%. You took it upon yourself to reveal sensitive information to hurt your teammate and I won't allow it! It's disgusting... like your face. Seriously, did you run into a wall? I'm thrilled to dispose of you like the ingrown pubic hair I'm getting removed and having shipped to William Schuster for his birthday!"

"So, I'm seriously off the team because _this slut_ got herself knocked up!"

"No, you're off the team because you're pathetic, you have no team spirit and I have seen more talent in rocks! Now, get out of my gym before I have you _expelled_!"

"Fine!"

Elisabeth stormed to the exit, making a point to shove past Rachel hard enough to knock the girl to the ground, in a movement that was almost identical to what Finn had done to her moments before he...

"Oh hell no! I'm gonna kill you!" Santana roared, only to stop dead in her movements as Rachel let out a small shuddering gasp as she gripped Santana's skirt. All anger faded from Santana's eyes as she looked down at her girlfriend's terrified expression. She sank to her knees by Rachel's side and pulled her into her arms.

"Shh, I'm here, mi Estrella," Santana whispered, causing everyone to go silent. Some were staring in disbelief as Santana spoke so softly and tenderly. Other's faces went pale and green as they quickly came to dark but accurate conclusions about Rachel's behaviour and her pregnancy.

Elisabeth looked at Rachel, too stupid to know when to shut up. "Attention whore!"

"Excellent. Principals office it is!" Coach Sylvester snarled, grabbing the girl by her arm and guiding her out, clearly wanting to throw her down the hallway.

"Yes, you are an attention whore!" Quinn shouted after Elisabeth who glared back before grimacing as the Coach sank her nails into her arm and dragged her out a little more violently.

"You made Rachie cry, you _bitch_!"

The entire room seemed stunned to hear Brittany curse but she was right, there were tears dripping down Rachel's face as she clung desperately to Santana's cheerio uniform.

"San, can we go to the choir room and lay down? I just want to be in your arms," Rachel asked and Santana nodded slowly as she helped Rachel to her feet. But before her diva could take a single step, she had scooped her into her arms and began walking.

"San..."

"I don't care what they think. Let's go," Santana purred as Rachel nuzzled against her. Brittany and Quinn followed behind, after glaring at anyone who dared to say anything but none of them did. They had more or less figured out the brutal reality behind Rachel's pregnancy. It didn't take much to figure out. The blood in the shower, Finn being blacklisted, Rachel's behaviour and now her pregnancy. They all looked quite ill and disturbed to have helped spread the word of her pregnancy.

Everyone made a beeline for the slushy machine so they could all meet Elisabeth outside the Principal's office. This was something the coach took seriously and they were pissed with Elisabeth.

In the choir room, Santana laid herself against the wall and pulled Rachel down so that she was laying in her lap. Rachel wasn't crying but laying stiffly as she tried to calm herself down enough to enjoy the tender embrace.

When Quinn and Brittany showed up, Quinn began softly playing the piano while Brittany began softly whispering to Rachel.

Brittany always knew the right things to say. She was the one who had comforted Rachel when her grandmother died and she was the one who had gotten her out of bed when she was too miserable to get out of bed. As usual, she said all the right things and made Rachel smile as she nuzzled Santana's lap. Santana watched the exchange as she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair and smiled.

Seeing the girls talk was so natural as they understood each other so well, that it was obvious they had been friends forever. Brittany would whisper things about Rachel's past and Rachel would respond eagerly as she began nodding off. It warmed Santana's heart and she could see Brittany was to be able to talk to her friend freely at school. It made her wonder why Brittany pretended she wasn't friend's with Rachel at school. Why Rachel allowed it and how come she never knew. Before she knew it, Brittany had curled up beside Rachel, still muttering softly but slowly drifting to sleep as well. As the girls drifted to sleep, Quinn slipped away from the piano and curled up behind Brittany, taking her into her arms without moving her away from Rachel. And just like that, Quinn had fallen asleep as well.

Santana stared at the scene and felt herself smile warmly. Quinn Fabray spooning Brittany was precious and it helped her realise just how far Quinn had come. She had accepted her sexuality and now she was happily dating Brittany. Since they had gotten together, Quinn was a lot less tense and so much happier. She smiled more and she was a lot more open about everything else.

She watched Brittany and Rachel and her heart grew heavy as a sad smile crossed her face. Rachel was clinging her shirt with one hand and Brittany's hand with her free hand. It was as though she needed to be close to both of them and Santana couldn't help but smile.

But there was something about the three of them _all_ sleeping in her arms that made her feel completely at peace.

In their group dynamic, Santana always viewed herself as the protector for both Quinn and Brittany and now Rachel. So to see the three of them sleeping peacefully in her lap, she felt as though she was exactly where she needed to be. Protecting them. All three of them were struggling and all three of them needed her. She lifted her arm and wrapped it around the trio and pulled them all close to her.

With a kiss to all of their heads, she finally allowed herself to drift to sleep feeling so peaceful.

When Rachel woke up, she was being spooned from behind by Santana but Brittany was now spooning the front of her body while Quinn Spooned Brittany. Santana and Quinn were holding onto each other's hands as they slept, effectively cocooning both Rachel and Brittany into a little nest of love and she felt so safe and so comfortable. She wrapped her arms around Brittany and let herself drift back to sleep, loving the feeling of all three of the girls holding her.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

When Rachel woke up again later, it was to the sound of Quinn and Santana softly whispering to each other. Brittany was blinking awake as well. Brittany stretched in her arms, allowing Rachel to stretch out as well. She could feel both Quinn and Santana's arms around her and a few moments later, Brittany's arms were back around her. She nuzzled closer to Brittany while pulled Santana closer against her back.

She wanted this embrace to last forever.

"I think they're comfortable, San," Quinn whispered kissing the back of Brittany's head.

"I've noticed, Q-Ball."

"What time is it?"

Quinn frowned at Rachel's question and Santana shrugged.

"It's almost lunchtime."

"Oh."

"Coach Sylvester excused us for the rest of the day," Santana explained as Rachel tensed in her arms. "We figured you guys were comfortable, so we didn't move you. Do you want to stay or Glee or go home?"

"I wanna stay for Glee but can we just hang out here?"

The rest of the day was spent in the Choir room. At lunchtime, Santana retrieved lunch for all of them while Rachel cuddled Brittany and Quinn. Once Santana returned, the four of them cuddled together again, only separating for trips to the bathroom and to stretch their legs.

By the time Glee started, the four of them were seated together with their hands linked together. Both Brittany and Rachel responded poorly when they attempted to separate, so both of the HBICs just went along with it. When the Glee club members came in, they all remained quiet; all of them knew but none of them said anything.

Kurt looked the most devestated because he knew exactly what had happened and he looked green.

The others looked like they might suspect; especially the football players who knew what it meant when someone was blacklisted.

But everyone was quiet.

Until the start of Glee when they all stood up and started singing 'You've Got a Friend in Me'.

They all looked at Rachel as they sang and she felt tears in her eyes; she was so glad she had decided to stay behind for Glee.

"Rachel, you will always have a family here in Glee club. We will do everything in our power to help you through this," Puck started as he watched his cousin with tear-filled eyes.

"You helped us through our hard times and now it's our turn to help you," Tina said softly as she made her way to her seat.

"You're my fellow diva, my girl, and I'm gonna do what I can to bring back my competition cause I'm getting bored now," Mercedes said with a smirk.

"You're my friend, Rachel and I am here for you. Day or night. Especially if you need someone to take you shopping," Kurt said with a smirk at the idea of helping Rachel pick out clothes.

With a smile, Rachel stood up and looked at her friends before she smiled softly before inviting the entire Glee club to her fathers' BBQ that weekend.

After Glee, everyone had stopped to tell Rachel they were going to be at the BBQ and Rachel found herself smiling more and more with each confirmation.

Kurt waited until everyone left before he took a seat in front of Rachel with a grim look on his usually so cheerful face.

"Is it true, Rachel?"

A nod is all her received before tears begin pouring down his cheeks and sobs burst from his body.

"I so sorry, Rachel! I'm so s-sorry!"

Rachel shocked the boy by kneeling in front of him and pulling him into her arms. He stiffened slightly before sobbing loudly into her neck.

"Please don't do this to yourself, Kurt. It's not your fault. What's done is done and I'm moving on. It's not your fault," Rachel replied, crying slightly herself.

"Can I take you shopping as you... grow?" Kurt asked, unsure how to phrase his question and Rachel had no idea how that question should be phrased either, so she just nodded and smiled at her friend.

"I wouldn't trust anyone else with my clothes," Rachel said softly.

"Great. Let me know when you need to go, okay?"

Kurt was buzzing with joy now. He had been trying for _years _to update Rachel's wardrobe and help her find clothes that would make her look amazing and now, he was being given the chance and he was beyond thrilled.

Now, he would be able to help her get outfits that suited her, complimented her and make her look as fierce as she was starting to act since she took over the Cheerios with her iron fist. He was still so sad and upset about what his _ex-step brother _had done but now he could do something to try and make Rachel feel better.

"I wanna bring back Diva night," Rachel whispered to Kurt.

Diva night was a night a week when Rachel, Kurt and Mercedes gave each other makeovers, watched musicals and gossiped. It was the best part of Rachel's week and they had stopped after the incident with _him _and Rachel had been missing it. Now that she was able to put a little distance between herself and Santana, she wanted to start hanging out with her other friends.

It would be good for her to hang out with them and good for Santana to have space to do her own thing sometimes. It was healthy to have friends outside your relationship and she wanted to hang out with her fellow divas again. She loved their time together and though it would be different now, she wanted to capture as much of her previous life again to feel like things were almost back to normal.

This was one of the few things she loved doing and she couldn't wait to get started again.

"Really? You do?"

"Yeah, if you're okay with San being in the house while it's happening," Rachel said gently.

"Deal!"

"Why don't we do it at my house? I'll hang out in my room while you guys relax and do your diva thing. I have a popcorn maker and Rachel has all of her musicals in my living room anyway," Santana said with a smirk as Rachel blushed.

Kurt's eyes went wide at the idea of hanging out at Santana's house but he nodded and left the girls to get ready to go home.

As the girls left for the day, Rachel smiled over to Brittany and Quinn before pulling them into a hug.

"We should do that again. The cuddling. It was nice," Rachel said, not even worried about being judged and the look she received told her that neither Quinn or Brittany were upset by the request.

"I agree with Rachie! I loved cuddling just the four of us! How about after the BBQ?" Brittany asked happily.

"You're on!" Rachel replied as she and Brittany made their way to the car, leaving Quinn and Santana flabberghasted about what had just happened. They met each other's eyes for a brief moment before Santana let out a small crooked grin. "I guess we're getting our snuggle on this weekend."

"I guess so, San."

"I'm going to get them home, see you tomorrow," Santana said to Quinn who nodded happily before walking away. What both the HBICs never admitted out loud was they had enjoyed the snuggling just as much as their girlfriends had.

**So, this chapter is short because I had to rewrite the entire thing this morning after I accidentally copied chapter 10 into the chapter 11 save file. I'm going to include the Diva Night and BBQ in the next chapter. To make up for this short chapter, I'm going to do an extra-long one next week. **

**As you can see, Rachel is becoming more comfortable with more people. In the next chapter, I'm going to begin building more bonds and relationships between Rachel and some other characters. Also, let me know what you thought of Rachel's bonding with Quinn, Brittany and Santana.**

**Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this chapter. **


	12. BBQ

**This chapter is a little emotional and a little fluffy. Next chapter will be the first date. Thank you for your patience. :D Your reviews mean so much to me and I will be choosing a reviewer to possibly name the baby for me. I am looking for a name that sounds like a name a Latin mother would name her child (male or female)... I've already decided the gender but drop one of both names and I'll pick my favourite and shout you out specifically :D. **

**This chapter was so much fun to write. I laughed out loud so many times and this chapter seemed to write itself because once I got going, the conversations flowed, the chapter went in a direction that surprised me. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter. **

**Chapter Rating: M (Sex scene is written in bold as usual so you can skip it if you want. I kept the bold writing strictly to the sexual scenes)**

**Note: I am so sorry for being late with this chapter. It has been a crazy week with work and I am drained completely and I honestly thought I had published this on Monday but I guess something went wrong. **

**REVIEWS**

**auntdedra: Thank you so much! I want to build a strong bond between them. **

**Segir: I simply wanted Finn to be dealt with swiftly. Details of his case will be revealed later and why he was sentenced for so long will be revealed but it will add up. The rest will be revealed in time. Thank you for reading. **

Rachel Berry was not usually an excessively emotional person. She was known for her passion, tantrums and dramatic fits when things didn't go her way but her fits always made sense and they didn't involve tears usually. They were planned out to get the required reaction from whoever she needed to get a reaction from.

But it was never over something so ridiculous.

That being said she was unable to stop her tears and her fathers were unable to do anything but look up to Santana with wordless pleas for help as Rachel began sobbing at the table.

Over bacon.

But not Rachel Berry's usual tears about meat but because her father stated he hadn't bought any because he wanted to go kosher.

This was not sitting well with Rachel or her hormones. And the turkey bacon she was chewing on just wasn't doing it for her. This was not the bacon she was used to. It tasted different. It was gross. So gross.

Santana looked at the men and sighed as Rachel burrowed her face into her shoulder and sobbed lightly, trying to stop crying because she knew her tears made _no sense at all._ But she really wanted her bacon. She had dreamt about it... Sure in her dream it had been draped on Santana's naked body but still, she could practically taste it when she woke up. She couldn't imagine draping _this_ bacon off of Santana's naked body and slowly devouring it.

"Okay, look, we'll buy some tonight so you can have it when you come home Monday night and I'm sure Santana has bacon at her house for the weekend," Hiram reasoned as he tried to figure out how to console his previously vegan daughter as she cried over the fact that she didn't have any bacon to sink her teeth into. "We'll even have extra bacon at the BBQ on Saturday."

Rachel sniffled into Santana's shoulder and did her bed to put on a brave face because her tears were not rational at all but all she did was whimper and nod simultaneously. Santana wrapped her arm around Rachel's waist as kissed the side of her face.

"Come on, Rachel. We'll go get a baconator on the way to school," Santana said as she pulled her girlfriend to her feet. Rachel stood up and gripped Santana's hand. She was deep in thought about something. This did not go unnoticed by Santana.

By the time they reached Santana's car, Santana was becoming worried about her girlfriend because she hadn't spoken a word.

"What's up, Rach?"

"San. I think I'm ready," Rachel whispered.

"For what, Rachel?" Santana asked, her mind jumping to a few conclusions. None of them at all appropriate for sitting in the car as they drove to school.

"I want to come out, San. At school. I know we hold hands and stuff but I want to kiss you without slinking into a corner or an empty hallway like this is some type of dirty secret. I want to tell Mercedes tonight and I want to openly be your girlfriend at school."

Santana sighed before pulling over so she could look her girlfriend in the eyes to access her expression for sincerity. She found sincerity and a genuine desire to come out at school.

She knew this was coming.

Rachel had been showing more and more frustration around hiding their relationship in the corridors. She had started looking sad when she couldn't just kiss her without going to an empty hallway and there were times when Rachel looked on the brink of saying 'I love you' to her in class or at lunch or crying when she pulled her into an empty classroom for something simple as a chaste kiss.

But she was almost certain part of this was also motivated by the fact that Blaine had come into Glee the other day and sang a love song to Kurt and then shared a sweet kiss with him afterwards. It was romantic as hell but it made her want to punch the hair-gelled boy because, for a moment, Rachel just looked so sad over the fact that she couldn't stand up in Glee and sing to her.

Rachel very clearly wanted to do these romantic gestures. She knew Rachel wanted to sing to her in Glee, kiss her between classes, give her little gifts at her locker and not just hold hands in the halls but look into her eyes with love and passion.

For the first time, Santana realised just how much of a romantic Rachel was and now she wanted to shower her with affection and she couldn't.

"Rachel?"

"Only if you want of course," Rachel supplied suddenly, bringing a smaller frown to Santana's face; Rachel thought she was being reluctant because _she _didn't want to come out.

"I just want to make sure you're ready. I _want_ to come out. I want to shout from the rooftop that you're _my girl_ but I don't want you doing anything you're not ready for. Because, once we do this, everything will change. Are you ready for that?"

"You'll be by my side, right?"

"Always, Rachel."

"I'm 100% ready. I love you, San and I want the world to know it. I want to be just like every couple in that school."

"Okay. We'll start out small. Tell Mercedes tonight and we'll tell the rest of Glee on Saturday and from there... We'll just start doing everything you mentioned and if anyone gots a problem, Auntie Snixx will punch it right out of them. Maybe if we don't make a big deal of it, they won't either," Santana responded lightly as she attempted to kiss the side of Rachel's face, only to have her 'accidentally' turn so their lips met.

"I wanna tell Mercedes everything. It's only fair if she's going to be sleeping over with us. Even if I sleep in your room, she might hear me scream during one of my nightmares and I don't want her scared or caught off guard when it happens," Rachel explained as Santana turned on the car and began driving towards the school.

"You're right. But she's probably still going to be scared when it happens. There's not much you can do about that. But at least this way, she _hopefully_ won't completely lose her shit if and when it does happen but you know you can always come to get in bed with me, even if they are there. I'll never turn you away."

"Will you be there when I tell them?"

"I'll stay the whole night if you want," Santana replied eagerly.

"You hate our musicals."

"I do not."

"You do and that's fine. This way, we can have our diva gossip and musical time while you work on your tracks," Rachel supplied, causing Santana's eyes to grow. She hadn't mentioned anything about her DJing to Rachel or how she liked to produce tracks, CDs and mix her own beats but it probably wasn't hard to figure out since Rachel spent a fair amount of time on her computer and it's not like she hid the software. But it warmed her heart to know she paid enough attention to those details to figure out this was a genuine interest of hers.

"That sounds like a plan. But you make sure to let me know if you need me."

"I will."

"Well, I guess me, you, Mercedes and Kurt will be sitting down for a talk."

"Can we do it at lunch? I don't want to taint Diva Night with this?"

"This Diva Night is really important to you?"

"Before we began dating, it was one of the few times I got to hang out with anyone in a social setting. It's very important to me," Rachel explained as she looked Santana in the eyes. "They were the only people who liked to consistently hang out with me."

"Well then, I will be nice to them while they're there," Santana said, vowing to treat them like they deserved for being there for Rachel when she had _no one_ else. For being her only friends for the longest time. Things were different now but she could see the gossiping divas were still important to her.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

Mercedes Jones was no fool.

So when Rachel began acting strange, she knew something was wrong. Really wrong.

Rachel had been her friend since she was ten and aside from Kurt, she was the only person she could relate to but with Rachel, it was a more personal relationship. Rachel was the only one who knew how to get the corn syrup out of her thick, matted hair and the only one who had the patience to _fix_ her hair afterwards. Kurt would try but his speciality was clothing and he was fine with Rachel's hair but Mercedes's hair was textured.

He just didn't have the patience.

Rachel, however, grew up around black people. Her father LeRoy was black and therefore she was surrounded by some of his relatives and had learnt a few things that made Mercedes's hair look _boss!_

So when Rachel came to school the first time pale, jumpy and clinging so desperately to Santana Lopez, she knew something was wrong. Especially by the looks she was getting from both Quinn and Santana when she wasn't looking. Sometimes they looked on the brink of tears, sometimes they looked murderous and others they appeared to be beyond protective of Rachel.

Something had happened. Something huge.

She was nothing but a shell of who she was before and was only now just starting to resemble her old self.

She wanted to ask Rachel about it but she couldn't get close enough to find out. And when she could get close enough, she was always with Santana... Or Quinn... Or Brittany and she didn't want to talk in front of them in case she didn't want to talk in front of them. Either way, it was hard to find a moment to speak with her.

When Rachel began missing school, she knew it was something really big. Rachel once came to school with a stomach virus and spent the majority of the day in the toilets, only leaving to make an appearance for attendance before _running_ back to the bathroom. She and Kurt had spent the day trying to convince her to go home and she flat-out refused. Miss Pilsbury had spent the day curled up in her office hyperventilating but she refused to leave because her attendance was perfect.

But now, a rumour word was spreading around that her friend was _pregnant_ and she wanted to punch the cheerio when she heard her whispering it oh so smugly to another cheerio in the hallway. She had tried to talk to Kurt about this but the boy's reaction was... he would bite his lips as though attempting to stop himself from crying before asking Mercedes to drop it.

So much had happened in so little time and she didn't know how to process it. First Rachel comes to school looking beaten and more vulnerable than Mercedes thought possible. Next thing she knows, Finn disappeared altogether and though Kurt _knows_ where he is, he won't say... And she stopped asking after the boy had _gotten sick_ after being asked where his brother was.

But weirder to see is Rachel not only _close _to Santana but the girl who formally tortured her seems to be her main source of comfort. Whenever Rachel's upset, she goes straight to the Latina who makes it one hundred percent clear the world of pain she will offer to anyone stupid enough to look at Rachel wrong. She also appears to have a bond with Quinn Fabray and Brittany Pierce.

Rachel and Brittany were always close but the relationship with Quinn appeared out of the blue just as quickly as her relationship with Santana. There was so much that had changed but it was when their diva nights stopped that she grew the most worried. Ordinarily, she'd be offended to be put on the back burner for so long but she could tell by looking in Rachel's eyes that she was going through something unimaginable. She can tell something is very wrong when she sees the look in Santana's eyes as she watched Rachel as though she was seconds away from losing it entirely.

But what tells her something is wrong beyond her understanding is when Brittany whispers words of assurance into her ears, comforts her and _glares_ at everyone who looked at her funny after the news of her pregnancy spread.

So now, she was sitting in the choir room with a pale-faced Kurt Hummel to her right waiting for Santana and Rachel to come and talk to her.

She had received a text from Santana early that morning telling her to meet them in the choir room and that she could only bring Kurt if she felt she needed to bring anyone.

As she stared at Kurt, she could tell he knew what was about to happen. He was staring at the ground with tears streaming down his face and about a million emotions on his face.

He had been silent ever since Mercedes told him about the text. He'd glanced over at Rachel in the hallway and when Rachel gave him a small nod, his face became unreadable before he disappeared into the one place Mercedes would never follow unless it was life or death; the mens room.

She opened her mouth to say something to the boy but the door had opened and there was Rachel Berry walking nervously into the room, clutching Santana's hand tightly; it was almost certainly hurting the latina but she didn't say anything except calming words to Rachel who was trembling at her side, leaving Rachel oblivious to what she was doing to her hand. She didn't seem to care. She was clearly more concerned about Rachel and her wellbeing.

Kurt rushed to his feet and she watched at her two closest friends hugged but there was so much hesitation in Rachel's movements and Santana was watching the exchange with almost a silent threat in her eyes. When the two broke apart, Rachel wrapped Mercedes into a less hesitant but still withdrawn hug. Something about the hug broke her heart.

It said so much about what had changed. Before all this started, she would have run into her arms and hugged her with all her might... It was known as the Berry-Tastic hug and she missed it.

When they finished hugging, the tiny diva stepping to Santana's side and wrapped her arm around her waist. Santana returned the gesture and hugged Rachel tightly.

"Rachel, what's going on?"

Mercedes question was met with looks that told her how bad this was. Kurt looked a few shades of green, Rachel looked terrified and Santana was watching both her and Kurt with a fierce look in her eyes.

"There are a few things you need to know before tonight if you still want to sleepover..."

"I do, Rachel."

"Okay. Well, sometimes I have nightmares, bad nightmares and I wake up screaming. I have panic attacks sometimes and I get sick sometimes."

"Is it true that you're..."

"I'm pregnant, Cedes. Because... Because... Tana!"

Santana pulled the gasping Rachel into her lap and rubbed her back, her attention was on Rachel and Rachel alone so she didn't see Kurt dash from the room with his hand over his mouth or Mercedes standing there frozen in fear as she tried to figure out the right thing to do or say to make this better. To assure Rachel that if it hurt this much to get it out, that she didn't need to know what was wrong.

"Rachel was raped. By Finn. She wanted to tell you before the sleepover so you wouldn't be caught off guard if she wakes up screaming or if you wake up and she's gone because she got up and crawled into bed with me in the middle of the night."

She was listening, she really was but after hearing the words Rachel, raped and Finn, her vision went red; Santana's words only made her shake with rage as she realised it had only taken one person and one act to reduce Rachel Berry to such a state and she was finding it hard to focus on Santana's words over her minds attempts to plan Finn's death and make it look like an accident.

When Kurt came back into the room, Mercedes stared at the boy in front of her and opened her arms just in time to be met full-force by a sobbing, shaking Kurt Hummel. And she was sobbing right along with him. When another pair of arms wrapped around her, she recognised Rachel's embrace and pulled her into the centre of the sobbing mess.

Together, the three of them stood in the centre of the room, sobbing their eyes out while Santana watched with guarded eyes as tears trickled slowly down her cheeks as she tried to fight it. This was something Rachel needed to do by herself. As hard as it was to see Rachel crying like this, she knew she needed to let this out.

And she was proud that Rachel was able to hug Mercedes and Kurt. It was something huge that she was allowing them to embrace her as she cried and an even bigger deal that she was allowing them to engulf her completely. Santana watched as she rested her chin on Kurt's chest and allowed Mercedes to rub her back as they all sobbed.

It was something truly heartbreaking to see. This was not something they should be dealing with. They were teenagers. This kind of pain was something they should never have to experience at any point in their lives and it was not fair for any of them. She wished she could make the pain leave Rachel completely. She wished she could take her pain as her own so Rachel didn't have to suffer.

But now as she watched them embrace, she felt as though this was a really important moment in Rachel's recovery. She needed to work towards being able to allow others to touch her, hug her and comfort her. As much as she wanted to, Santana could not be Rachel's only source of comfort. That was not healthy. She needed other people in her life to talk to and she wanted her girlfriend to be close with her other friends and keep her relationships with them strong.

And that was how the rest of lunch was spent.

When the bell rang, it was completely ignored. Nobody cared about their next class. None of them had any important classes and Rachel and Santana had study hall, so it didn't really matter whether or not they showed up.

It was a few hours before the embrace broke and Mercedes looks into Rachel's eyes and spoke softly.

"My aunt Velvet is a counsellor who works with victims of... _this_... I can give you her number if you want."

"I'm fine," Rachel said just as Santana mouthed the words 'text me'.

Clearly, she knew Rachel wasn't as fine as she was claiming to be and all she did was nod in the Latina's direction because she wasn't going to call Rachel out on it.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"Oh my gosh! This place is huge!"

"I knew she wasn't from no Lima Heights."

Rachel chuckled at Kurt and Mercedes exclamations as they walked into Santana's house for the first time.

She never got the chance to react to the place because the first time Santana brought her home, she was too frieghtened, numb and traumatised to care and by the time she was able to appreciate the house, she had pretty much adapted to its size and was more preoccupied with proceeding about her day to day life as normally as she could.

She could feel Santana's presence as she stood close by watching Rachel greet her friends.

"Come on in! We've got popcorn, nachos, chips, bacon, wings, bacon, ice cream, milkshakes and... um did I mention bacon because we have bacon," Rachel said with a laugh Mercedes jaw dropped.

"Girl! I thought you was vegan!"

"Yes, well, it turns out my baby prefers meat and... I kind of love bacon. By the way, did I mention..."

"You have bacon," Mercedes finished with a teasing eye roll. "You might be worse than Quinn with this whole bacon thing."

"I think it's amusing," Kurt supplied with a laugh as Mercedes chuckled and Rachel felt her stomach swell with joy at the almost normality of the conversation and how easily they were exchanging teasing words. It was almost like their previous diva nights.

"Rachel? I'm going to go up now, okay? You know where my room is."

When Santana turned to leave, Rachel grabbed her wrist and pulled her in front of her with a playful smirk on her face.

"San, you forgot something!"

"What?" Rachel found great amusement in the way her girlfriend looked around as she honestly tried to figure out what she could have forgotten. Santana looked ready to run out the door and buy _anything_ that came out of Rachel's mouth. She was pretty sure Santana would do it with a smile on her face too.

But Rachel simply grinned as she walked towards Santana and rested her arms around her shoulders and pulled their bodies close together as she looked deep into her beautiful dark brown eyes.

"This," Rachel purred as she connected their lips and let their lips dance together for a few moments before she deepened the kiss just a little bit in hopes that she would satisfy herself long enough to make it through the night because it would be a while before she got any more kisses from her sexy girlfriend. The kiss was heated but it was clearly a goodbye and not an invitation for more. But it was more than enough for Mercedes's jaw to drop as the puzzle piece falls into place and the relationship between the two women because clear in her mind.

Her jaw drops and when she sees Kurt watching with _no shock_ in his eyes, she wonders how long he has known about this.

"Have a good night, San. I love you."

"Mm, I love you, too, Rach! Kurt, you best be keeping your eyes on my girl! If she panics, my room is painted green. Just come get me if you can't bring her to me," Santana said, with a fierce look in the boy's direction as she made her way upstairs, leaving Rachel missing her presence in her arms but she was excited to be in her friends' presence.

"Hold the phone! Is you two dating?"

Rachel and Kurt exchanged a glance before they both burst into laughter.

"Girl," Kurt began with a small chuckle. "Why else do you think Santana Lopez would allow Rachel to have a Diva sleepover in her living room? A sleepover she's not even _participating_ in?"

"Well, it's about time, girl! I been watching you two eye each other forever now! Now, let's get this diva night going. I believe Rachel implied there was bacon here and mama wants to get her eat on! What are we going to watch?"

Rachel held up two cases with a cheeky grin, already knowing which one her friends would choose.

"I've got RENT and Funny Girl..."

"RENT!"

They burst into laughter as though there was any chance they'd have chosen anything else. Kurt and Rachel both _loved _Funny Girl but Mercedes had trouble getting into it. But all of them agreed that Rent was amazing and it caught all of their interest. But they never actually watched the movie because they were always too busy laughing, gossiping, doing hair, nails and whatever else they did during diva night.

Rachel and Kurt loved the diversity of the movie and the different walks of life showcased in the movies and the characters and their development. Mercedes enjoyed the diversity but she also enjoyed reflecting on the time the play was originally set and she loved the musicals and just relaxing while Kurt and Rachel sang to the lyrics while she either sang or just lounged back and watched them put their all into every performance, no matter how silly it was.

Rachel would try and talk them into doing tricky gymnastics moves and Kurt would obsess over their wardrobe and what they needed to wear to make the performance better for the 'audience'... aka Rachel's dads, the stuffed toys she could never give up and one time Noah Puckerman. But now, they were in Santana Lopez's house and they had no idea how to act in this setting.

"How are you feeling now?"

There had been a quick tour that highlighted the important rooms downstairs... Bathroom, living room, the spot in the kitchen where the bacon was being kept warm.

Now they were sitting on the couch watching as the movie began.

"Well, I'll be honest; I'm still getting sick randomly."

Mercedes let out a snort as though she found this to be entertaining and amusing.

"I can't even tell you how many times Quinn threw up in front of me when she was pregnant. Vomit doesn't even make me flinch no more. Heck, she even threw up _on_ me once and I didn't even bat an eye."

Mercedes grimaced slightly as she remembered Quinn's morning sickness but it was clear she could handle anything Rachel could possibly, but hopefully wouldn't, throw her way.

"Okay, can we stop talking about puke and eat until we... you know..." Kurt cracked a grin as he realised what he was about to say.

"Yeah, girl. We gots to know now! Have you been on a date yet?"

"Well, after tomorrows BBQ, we're going. It would have been tonight but she couldn't arrange it. And besides, she knew tonight was important for me."

"Can we help you get ready?" Mercedes asked with a wide grin.

"If you want..."

"Alright, I'll do hair and Kurt'll do make-up," Mercedes announced instead of answering.

"Oh, girl! It's so weird to see you eating meat," Kurt said as Rachel loaded a plate with bacon and nachos. It was something Rachel would never have eaten before them and their faces made it clear just how shocking it was to see and it was all Rachel could do not to laugh out loud at their reactions.

"You should have seen my fathers. It was like I had grown a fourth head!"

"I bet they lost their shit!" Mercedes squealed.

"Just a bit," Rachel shrugged as she began eating.

They ate in silence for a little bit. The only noise in the room was the occasional moan from Rachel as she savoured her food.

"So... They got you running Cheerios?" Mercedes asked. She had known about Rachel's dance classes and gymnastics, so she wasn't surprised Rachel had what it took but she was surprised that the coach was able to talk her into running the cheerios for her.

"Yeah, it's fun! Especially now that Elisabeth is gone and they finally act like a team."

Mercedes snorted.

"That bitch is finally off the squad! Thank you, Jesus! I hate her. She kept calling me Mercury and always accused me of stealing!"

"Seriously! Ugh! She's a bitch," Rachel groaned, having heard similar stories about the girl.

"Amen, girl!"

"She's telling everyone she's sleeping with Puck! Apparently, they're in love... deeply!" Kurt laughed at the idea because of how stupid it made the girl look. Because he denied it to everyone who asked and Puck loved bragging about every person he slept with... Every single person. So his denial meant it either never happened or that she was _really that bad._

Either way, it didn't leave her shining very brightly.

The laughter from Rachel pretty much told them how much of a lie that was.

"HA!" He's my cousin and I know he hates her! He wouldn't sleep with her if she were the last _thing_ on the planet!"

"You sure? He's Puck?" Mercedes asked with a cheeky grin as she grabbed some nachos from the dish.

"He jumped in a dumpster to avoid her," Rachel said softly. "And because she told the whole squad about the baby, he kind of wants to take her out... with a baseball bat!"

"I heard she got expelled?"

"No, Mercedes, she was suspended. But yes."

"How'd she even find out. I can't picture you sitting her down and telling her about... anything?"

"I heard she was in the bathroom when you and Quinn were talking. She was bragging about it at the market!" Mercedes ground out, remembering the discussion she had overheard.

"She's telling everyone your baby is Pucks," Kurt said with a shrug.

"So... in her world, Puck cheated on her with me? _God!_ If she's going to start rumours, she should do some research! He's my cousin!"

"I think she has trouble understanding that not all children in this town are inbred bastards like herself," Mercedes supplied with a simple shrug as though she had said something innocent and sweet. "One day, you'll come back into town with Santana to visit your fathers and she'll be flipping your burgers or washing your car."

"Mercedes! That's rude! Those jobs are so above her that to insinuate her with any of those professions is an insult to the people who actually do those jobs!" Rachel cried out with a laugh as Kurt burst into laughter.

"Fine? Collecting rubbish?"

"She's smart enough to operate a truck! That sounds scary," Rachel said to Kurt as he began chuckling louder.

"Well, she needs to support her baseball team of kids somehow... Turning ticks maybe?" Mercedes offered gently as though she had suggested law enforcement or cooking.

"That girl? A hooker? She'd have to pay the men to _look_ at her!"

"Please!" Kurt cried out. "There's not a soul alive that desperate for cash! Did you guys hear coach is sending ten of her Cheerios to Glee for regionals?"

"It must be nice on that woman's good side?"

"It's alright. She's decent," Rachel shrugged.

"Sure, if your name if Brittany, Becky or Rachel. To the rest of us, she's a monster!" Mercedes said with a shudder. "She once yelled at me for breathing too loud! Then she told me a sound like a donkey when I breathe."

"I didn't say she was a saint."

"Pu-lease! She'd _eat_ a saint before she became one," Kurt cried as he began laughing at the idea of the Coach associated with any church.

And with those words, they focused back on the movie, pushing off the makeovers until before the BBQ so they could make Rachel look perfect for her first date with Santana.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

It wasn't long after they fell asleep that Rachel began thrashing, whimpering and twisting around the blankets on the loveseat.

Mercedes was curled up on the hideaway bed with Kurt ant Rachel was on the loveseat by herself because she wasn't sure she was ready to share a bed with anyone who wasn't Santana. She had no idea how she would react to someone else's touch before she was fully awake, even something as innocent as a brush on her leg.

It was strange not sleeping between the two other divas but she knew it was for the best.

But that being said, it was the first time she had slept without someone sleeping directly beside her since her fathers had returned.

Mercedes hadn't been asleep yet, so she heard the whimpers and shook Rachel awake before her whimpers could escalate into screams.

When Rachel opened her eyes, she whimpered softly when she initially realized it wasn't Santana standing there but she did her best to not violently push her friend away. She did her best to hide her reaction from her friend but it must have been obvious because Mercedes smiled sadly at Rachel before pulling her to her feet.

"Come on, Rach. I'mma take you upstairs to sleep with yo girl. Don't feel bad."

Of course, Mercedes was able to figure out the problem. Mercedes always knew what she wanted or needed without her saying and she always knew when something was wrong without it being said out loud. It was one of the things she loved about Mercedes but now she felt bad because she really did want to spend the night with her friends like any other teenager.

"But I wanted to have a normal sleepover again."

Tears began falling down her cheeks and as much as she needed to be in Santana's arms, she wanted to stay for the sleepover and be with her friends. she was so conflicted.

"You will... eventually. But for tonight, you'll be upstairs and Kurt and I will be down here. Next time, we can have our musicals by ourselves and then she can come and sleep with us if that makes you comfortable. Besides, we're not gonna leave tonight because who would get you ready for your date if we did?"

Rachel thought about it for a second before she let Mercedes guide her up the stairs and to the green door that led to Santana's room.

"Just so you know, I texted my aunt's number to Santana. No pressure but... consider it."

Rachel and Mercedes shared a glance before Rachel nodded gently.

"I'm not ready to talk about it."

"Not yet. But she can help you get ready. I care about you, girl."

Rachel smiled at Mercedes before giving her a quick hug before slipping into Santana's room.

Something about entering her girlfriend's room was almost like returning home after a terrible night. As soon as she heard Santana softly breathing, her mind became a little less jumbled and she felt her muscles relax as she walked towards the bed.

As soon as she sat down on the edge of the bed, Santana's eyes snapped open and her eyes fell on Rachel instantly.

And when she saw the tears streaking her cheeks, she opened her arms for Rachel to crawl into. She didn't hesitate to fall into her warm embrace and immediately she felt her body start to relax.

"Do you want to take off our shirts?"

This was something that had become a habit whenever Rachel had a nightmare or was feeling overly nervous so she knew the offer would be appreciated. It comforted her and made her feel good. So when Rachel tugged off her shirt, she was happy to tug off hers as well.

When they were finally snuggled up with their bare chests pressed together and Rachel made a loud sigh of contentment. She could feel Santana wiping her tears away and placing kisses on her forehead.

"I tried, San."

"You did great."

"I feel like a coward," Rachel cried, sobbing lightly again. She hated feeling so weak and scared all the time. Mercedes and Kurt were here best friends for the longest time and she had no reason at all to be nervous around them and their presence didn't make her nervous but after her nightmare, she felt timid and afraid.

She felt so small and exposed, even when she was fully clothed and alone. She felt nervous sometimes without even knowing why. It was horrible and frustrating but when she was with Santana, she felt safe. When she was surrounded by others, she felt comforted but Santana's warm presence and the way she looked at her as though she was the most precious thing in the world made her feel special and safe.

"You are not a coward, Rachel. You are brave. After everything that happened, you are being so brave and so strong. You should be so proud of yourself. And I was starting to miss you. I was going to get up and sleep with you anyway," Santana promised as she kissed Rachel's head and then her nose before her girlfriend grabbed her face and kissed her lips.

She chuckled happily before returning the kiss the tenderness as she let her tongue briefly roam Rachel's mouth.

"Not that I wouldn't love to see where this goes, I think I just want some cuddles now," Rachel replied, not feeling ready to be touched at the moment.

Santana kissed the top of Rachel's head and found herself smiling. It was actually quite assuring to know Rachel would say no when she didn't want sex and that she wouldn't do it just to keep her happy. And she loved the idea of laying with Rachel and snuggling her until they both fell asleep again just as much as she enjoyed having sex with her because both things made her happy. She loved doing the things that made her happy.

She loved when they did touch each other but it wasn't something that happened frequently and she would never push Rachel to do anything she didn't want because the look on Rachel's face as they locked eyes while they snuggled was enough to make her heart soar higher than heaven.

It was love, adoration, joy, peace and trust that was always there, even when she was freaking out; she knew Santana would care for her and because of that, she was never afraid to hide her emotions. Sometimes she liked to pretend she was okay so they could go about their lives like normal and sometimes she would let her think she was getting away with it and just give her extra affections. But others, she would say something and snuggle her until she felt better.

It was clear Rachel was starting to feel guilty about taking up so much of her time and she wanted to do something to make it clear once and for all that she wasn't going anywhere but she wasn't sure how to go about doing it. But for now, she was back in her arms and their skin was touching so beautifully. She almost wished she could get more skin to skin contact.

"But... Can we take our pants off? I want to feel your legs against mine? Kurt and Mercedes will knock if they need us," Rachel assured, knowing the pair would most likely knock if anything out of fear of walking into an intimate moment. That was the beauty of being friends with a straight girl and a gay guy... They weren't going to go out of their way to see them naked together and if anything they would do everything in their power to avoid such a sight.

In response, Santana pulled her PJ bottoms down and smiled wickedly at Rachel blushed and pulled her own bottoms down.

When Rachel crawled on top of Santana and wove their legs together, Santana sighed happily because she loved the feelings that always passed through her when their naked bodies touched each other. It was so addictive and so wonderful. It was everything she could ever imagine and as she felt Rachel fall asleep in her arms, it felt right and natural.

So right.

It was as though she was exactly where she needed to be and she was beyond happy and the look of contentment on Rachel's face as she nodded off to sleep was enough to make her feel so bliss and so happy.

As she fell asleep, Rachel had cupped her breast and gave a happy sigh.

And the rest of the night was nightmare free.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

**When Rachel woke up in the morning, she was unconsciously rubbing her core against the thigh pressed between her legs and jolts of white, hot pleasure were spreading through her body which felt like it was on fire from arousal.**

**When she opened her eyes, she found Santana looking deeply into her eyes and for a moment, she was unsure what to do. She wanted to finish this and her core was throbbing and she could feel herself gushing onto the girl's thigh. But what if Santana didn't want her to get off on her thigh.**

**"San?"**

**"Do you want to..."**

**"Yes."**

**"Can I help?"**

**"Yes."**

**Santana smiled and looked into Rachel's eyes before flipping them over so she was on top. She placed kiss after kiss onto Rachel's lips as she moved her thigh up and down, sending more and more pleasure through Rachel's body. The pleasure was nearly overwhelming and Rachel found herself getting closer and closer until...**

**"YES!"**

**Santana was looking deeply in her eyes the entire time and it made Rachel's heart sore with joy as she looked into her girlfriend's eyes and saw love beyond what people their age tended to experience. It was raw, intense and sincere.**

**It was a love like that that typically went above people's heads when they were this young but to them, it was natural. It came naturally.**

**Suddenly, Rachel wanted to do something.**

**She let the kisses become more and more heated until Santana let out a loud moan. She flipped them over so she was back on top.**

**Santana didn't say anything when she began kissing her neck but when she began inching below her neck, she looked at Rachel curiously. When she reached the Latina's tan belly button, she seemed to realise exactly what was happening and pulled Rachel's head a few inches away from her belly button.**

**"You don't have to..."**

**"San, I want to. I want to taste you," Rachel replied before she looked into her girlfriend's eyes. "May I?"**

**"I will never stop you," Santana promised as she opened her legs just as Rachel began moving down again.**

**When Rachel reached her destination, she smiled at the sight of Santana's glistening core. It was beautiful and the smell was musky and so uniquely Santana.**

**She took her time and kissed every inch of Santana's inner thigh, smiling smugly as she moaned with every kiss and bucked her hips with eyes nip.**

**When Rachel first licked her slit, she found the sounds coming from her girlfriend to be beyond satisfying and when she kissed her little bundle of nerves, the resulting moan made her own arousal grow.**

**She sucked the little nub as she inserted her fingers into the wet heat and as she began quickly curling her fingers towards Santana's g-spot, she began slowly licking the alphabet onto the little bundle... Slowly. Very slowly. So slow that Santana was ready to lose her mind completely. When she heard Spanish cursing, she sped up her finger movements and took joy in feeling her walls clamp tightly around her fingers as the wetness increased and Santana moaned loudly.**

When her orgasm finished, she pulled Rachel up by her shoulders and pushed Rachel's now messy locks away from her face and kissed her so gently and sweetly.

"I love you."

"I love you, too, San."

"Do you want me to..."

"Well..."

"Breakfast!"

At the sound of Mercedes's voice, Santana groaned and Rachel giggled slightly.

"Rain check?"

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"Daddy!"

"Hiram!"

"Bloody moron!"

Santana was too busy laughing at the reactions of Rachel, her father and Noah Puckerman's mother as Hiram Berry threw more gasoline into the BBQ causing an angry burst of fire to fire furiously towards the man, causing him and Noah to duck towards the gas to prevent their faces from being lit on fire.

Mercedes, Brittany, Rachel and Kurt were standing with her and they were just watching the spectacle before them with mixed expressions. Rachel looked stunned and Kurt looked completely torn between laughing and calling the man an idiot like Puck's mother had done.

Puck had disappeared into the house, claiming he was off to get the last of the food for the meal.

"You're an idiot," LeRoy muttered as he kissed his husband sweetly.

"You love me."

"It would appear so," LeRoy muttered with a taunting smile as he pecked his forehead before Hiram proceeded to pour more fluid into the BBQ.

"Daddy, please don't die!"

"I thought you were on my side!" Hiram said indignantly.

"No, daddy, I'm on the side that keeps you alive," Rachel corrected with a taunting grin that matched LeRoy's completely. She may have Hiram's looks, she had LeRoy's expressions.

"I'm with Rachel on this one," LeRoy said, as Rachel hugged her father loosely before smirking at Hiram who was now grumbling cheekily.

"Is this gang up on Hiram day?"

"Sure is, Papa H," Puck said with a grin as he walked towards the BBQ with a bag full of hot dog and hamburger buns in one hand and bacon and condiments in another.

When Quinn and Rachel's eyes fell on the bacon, he looked like he was ready to throw the bacon to the ground and let them claw the bags open and devour the meat because the looks they were shooting the meat was positively predatory.

"I feel special," Hiram muttered.

"You are special, daddy..." Rachel began with a quirky smile. "... Just not in a good way."

"You're rude! Rude I say! You know what! I'm going to take my 'special' meat and go feed people who appreciate me," Hiram huffed as he began jokingly gathering the food.

"Oh, you know we tease you because we love you!"

Hiram looked at his husband when he spoke and smirked back.

"Love me less."

"No can do," LeRoy said with a grin as he kissed Hiram's cheek once more before steeling the bottle of fuel from him and tossing it towards Puck in a move that revealed LeRoy's previous football experience. "Run, Puck! Run!"

When Puck began running towards the house, Hiram chased after the boy who was howling so hard that he was having trouble running. And Hiram was laughing just as hard.

"Rach, are you ready for tonight?"

"Kurt and Mercedes did my hair and makeup but should I eat or..."

"Eat. We're not eating while we're out," Santana said with a cheeky grin.

"Mercedes and Kurt said it's casual. Are we going to be in public?"

"Sure."

"Physical exercise?"

"Sure."

"You're not going to tell me anything?"

"Nope. Not a thing," Santana purred softly at Rachel who looked ready to groan under the frustration of not knowing what Santana had planned for their first actual date. "You'll find out tonight."

"What's up?"

"Well, Santana wants you to go over the details of the date so she can make sure she has everything planned out," Rachel said cheekily.

"Oh, well. Do you want me to start out with plans for the strip bar or move straight to the part where the sumo wrestlers give you both lap dances while you do body shots?"

"Ew! Santana! Gross! That's a bad date, Santana! Rachel doesn't even like sumo wrestlers!" Brittany scolded as Quinn crossed her arms in amusement at Santana who was raising her arms defensively while Brittany scolded her for planning such a poor date.

"I think you forgot to mention the sky diving clowns and skinny dipping," Kurt teased as he joined the little group with Mercedes by his side.

"Or Sue Sylvester following you around for the entire date singing love songs while Mr Schue plays his ukulele."

Rachel began laughing at her friends' words.

"I thought the nuns were going to do the singing while Sue and Mr Schue were going on a double date with you two. Just remember if their car is a rocking don't go a-knocking!"

"Ew!"

"Puck!"

"Oh my god! Those are not happy pictures going through my mind!"

"I need therapy!" Santana wailed as she buried her face into Rachel's shoulder. Mercedes had decided to express the groups shared feelings in a sharp kick to the boy's shin.

"Why would their car be rocking?"

Everyone looked at Brittany before Rachel turned her scowl to Puck.

"Yes, Puck! _Why would their car be rocking?"_

"Erm... I gotta go... Papa H needs help with the food."

"I'm fine, son. Why don't you answer the lady's question?"

"Papa H?"

"I'm not helping you. You teased me," Hiram said with a look of fake anger as he turned to the grill while flicking imaginary hair over his shoulder.

Puck groaned and made his way to the other side of the lawn where LeRoy was standing but Brittany, who seemed to figure out what was being said, followed him, pretending she didn't know the answer to his question and teasingly repeated the question over and over again.

Rache grinning as Puck began looking to LeRoy for help and found only a taunting smirk and a cheeky remark.

Puck had been a constant presence in Rachel's life as she grew up... Especially after his father died.

When his father died, Puck began to spend more time with the Berry men. To him, they were the male influences he looked up to as he grew up and that made him and Rachel closer than most.

Of course, this went both ways as Rachel turned to Puck's mother for a female influence in her life. In the end, it worked out well because her fathers had a woman to talk to as Rachel went through puberty and Puck had father figures to turn to as he became a man.

This was a relationship that only grew when Quinn got pregnant and Puck found himself conflicted and crying on the Berry's couch more times than he could count as he struggled with his pending fatherhood and how to deal with his actions without pressuring Quinn.

Puck had looked to the men for everything and they took him and Rachel camping all the time and taught them fishing and everything to do with the wilderness making it clear that these were things everyone should know regardless of gender but when Puck's mother was teaching Rachel makeup, they were teaching Puck how to put on a tie and teaching him how to tie a tie and everything else he needed to be a presentable young man.

It wasn't uncommon for Puck to spend nights at the Berry house or for Rachel to spend nights at the Puckerman place. The two were in some way, like siblings. But in others, they were close friends.

In high school, Rachel drew herself away from him so his popularity could flourish, but like Brittany, he had been against this and resisted every chance he could.

Now, he was not going to deny his friendship with his cousin.

Rachel smiled at Santana as Artie and Sam arrived.

"Let's tell them now, Tana."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes! It's perfect!"

And she was right. Everyone was laughing, chatting and hanging out. LeRoy was blasting tunes from his cell and Hiram was laughing as Puck's mother began joking about something.

It was a perfect scene and Rachel knew in her heart this was the best moment to reveal her relationship.

So once everyone was seated at the massive table, Rachel stoop up and pulled Santana to her feet with a smile as she took her hand and eyed the group.

Kurt had his arm around Blaine's shoulder, Brittany was holding Quinn's hand under the table and everyone else was eyeing them curiously. Even those who knew of the relationship seemed to be curious.

"Santana and I are dating!"

The only reaction she received that actually shocked her was when Sam held out his hand in front of Mike who slapped a crisp fifty into his palm before grumbling sarcastically about losing even more money... And then grumbled more as Artie held out his hand to him.

"I told you, PezBerry is totally on!"

"What the fuck... sorry Mr Berry... heck is a PezBerry!" Santana asked, glaring at Artie who only smirked as a fifty dollar note was slipped into his hand.

"PezBerry. As in Lo_pez_ and Berry... PezBerry! It's your ship name! I came up with that," Artie said as he puffed out his chest.

"I like mine better," Sam said with a grumble.

"BerryPez? That sounds like a sports drink!" Artie chuckled.

"It sounds like an illegal substance?" Quinn said with a laugh. "I'm on team PezBerry here!"

And much to Sam's displeasure so was everyone else.

"Don't we get a say about our ship name?" Santana asked Rachel who was busy sticking a third piece of bacon into her mouth.

"I like PezBerry."

Santana blushed as a blush took over Rachel's face and she couldn't help but grin as she realised she liked it too.

"Holy shit! Santana's _so _whipped!"

"That's it, Puckerman! Say goodbye to _little Puck!_" Santana growled as she stood up and chased the laughing boy around the lawn while Rachel did everything she could to slow her cousin down.

"We're family, Rachel!"

"So... I like her better!" Rachel chuckled as she teased the boy before she took advantage of his absence and took the bacon from his plate, making a point to throw Quinn a few pieces when she began laughing.

"Oh, I see how it is! I'm going to remember this, cousin!"

"Remember this!" Rachel snarked back as she shoved a piece of his bacon into her mouth. He stared at her stunned for a moment before he began laughing loudly at his cousin's antics.

"Am I the only one who feels like I've entered the twilight zone?"

Artie's question received a few stunned agreements as they watched as Rachel acted so different then she did at school.

Santana, though also stunned by her girlfriend's uncharacteristic behaviour, was thrilled to see her at ease and relaxed for the first time in such a long time while surrounded by other people. Lately, the only time she has seen Rachel laugh, giggle or joke was when they were alone or hanging with Quinn and Brittany or her fathers but usually, when she was around large groups of people, she would cling to Santana and just sit back. This was a refreshing sight to see because it told her that the old Rachel was still there.

As the food finished, Rachel went into the house with LeRoy and came out five minutes later with a huge cake with a ton of candles on it.

Hiram's eyes went wide as he stood up, quite startled by the presence of a cake and even more startled to hear his husband and daughter singing the 'Happy Birthday' song. Soon enough, everyone caught on and began singing along to and grinning at Hiram who was blushing scarlet.

When the cake was placed in front of him, he blew out the candles and looked at Rachel with tears in his eyes.

"I forgot it was my birthday!"

It went without saying why. In fact, LeRoy and Rachel had forgotten until the morning when LeRoy texted Rachel and they made last-second arrangements for Hiram's birthday cake.

"Now, we didn't get you any presents but we have agreed to give you back our Saturday afternoon brunch and now that Rachel's a carnivore again, we can eat your favourite foods!" LeRoy said as he kissed his husband happily. "Are you surprised?"

"Oh, baby! Am I! And Rachel! Thank you!"

"I love you, daddy!"

The rest of the BBQ was spent hanging around a small fire pit and exchanging storied while Rachel cuddled with Santana

They could see that Quinn and Brittany were longing to cuddle just like they were doing but Quinn was not at all ready to come out.

So, Santana whispered something into Rachel's ears and she gave Quinn a small smile to tell her she knew she was upset and that that was okay.

When the BBQ ended, Mercedes and Kurt recruited Quinn to help get Rachel ready while Brittany dragged Santana off to help her get ready, despite her arguments of not needing any help... To which Brittany told her to shut up and took her off anyway.

Rachel found herself being dressed in a pair of jeans, a simple T-shirt and a sweater because it was starting to get chilly in the evening.

"Rachel. Santana makes you happy, right?"

Rachel smiled at Mercedes and nodded happily.

"She was the one who took me to her house right after... it happened. She and Quinn found me in the locker room and... She's been there every step of the way, helping me feel complete. She sacrifices so much just to make me happy and I love her so much for that Mercedes. I love her! I love her with everything I am. She makes me feel normal again."

"That's all I need to hear. But if she hurts you... I'll kick her ass from here to China and that goes for you, too, Blondie!"

Quinn stared at Mercedes, shocked to have been included in this threat at all. But she nodded anyway, knowing Mercedes was protective of her friend from the girls who had once treated Rachel so poorly. It was completely fair.

Rachel smiled at Mercedes and held up two lip glosses for them to decide between.

"Go for the one on the right. It's warmer and goes with the outfit better," Kurt replied as she began running a brush through Rachel's hair and smiled as it complied so easily with what he was trying to do. It was refreshing and Rachel sighed under the feeling of her hair being brushed neatly.

"Quinn, do you think Santana will like the peach earings or the rose-pink?"

"I think you could show up in a black garbage bag and she'd still be mesmerized."

Rachel looked at her outfit and smiled widely before she pulled Quinn into a small hug.

"Thank you, Quinn."

Quinn nodded and smiled as she put in the peach coloured earrings and looked at Rachel with a smile on her lips.

"I think I'm ready to go."

"Nope. She's going to knock on your door when its time to get ready."

"How long?"

"She's picking you up at seven," Quinn replied happily as she stared at her watch before grinning widely. "Five minutes, Rachel."

They spend the next five minutes talking about Regionals until a know travelled through the room and Rachel grinned because her date was finally here.

That's when it hit her.

She was going on a _date_ with _Santana Lopez._


	13. Date

**Hey everyone! It's Wednesday and I've decided I'm going to be posting biweekly on Wednesdays from now on because work has been really crazy lately and I haven't had as much time to sit and write but that being said, I am working on becoming more organised with my actual writing. Thank you for your patience and understanding. Also, I will be posting this story on AO3 soon.**

_Italic: Flashbacks_

**Bold: Sexual content**

**Rating:** Mature

**Warning: **Includes sexual content, marked in bold text

**Note: I have chosen the baby's name and I have decided the gender (which I will not disclose until their birth... there will only be _one_ because I do not have the patience to write about multiples.) **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee. If I did, I would have made Rachel bisexual and she and Santana would have totally had a thing together. **

**Word count: 7,823**

* * *

Quinn Fabray was not a risk-taker and she was not impulsive. She always looked before she lept and everything she did was always carefully considered her actions before she did anything. She always considered the consequences of her actions and didn't do anything unless it was safe. Unless it was something that a good girl would do.

At least that was before she went to High School and began to realise that her father wasn't right. That there was more to life than praying to a god and convincing herself that she was a bad person for her feelings, desires and guilt and shame for wanting to be with a woman the way she should want to be with a man.

She began rebelling against her father's emotionally abusive ways but still, she was careful and kept her actions safe.

Puck had been her first real act of rebellion but despite the consequences being more apparent and obvious, it still wasn't the riskiest thing she had done. Sleeping with Puck had been irrelevant and it meant nothing. But to her, kissing Rachel had been terrifying and risky because it was what she wanted.

Sleeping with Puck meant next to nothing but kissing Rachel had made her feelings real. It had made it undeniable that she was gay, even if she wouldn't admit it for a while later, it was still undeniable. It was the kiss she actually desired and she had gotten more turned on by her kisses with Rachel than she ever had from all of her kisses with Finn and Puck combined.

The day she had almost taken Rachel Berry's virginity had been a huge risk for her and it would have been the most impulsive thing she had ever done.

_Rachel was simply at her house to work on a duet for Glee and they had been singing together and for some reason, the topic of kissing had come up, catching both of them off guard._

_Quinn had been relaxed enough that she told Rachel that she didn't understand the whole appeal in kissing or sex because kissing made her uncomfortable and sex was kind of boring. She blushed awkwardly when she realised she had revealed something like that to Rachel. It was so personal and she worried that she was about to be judged. But instead, Rachel nodded and smiled._

_"I understand. I feel the same but... nevermind."_

_"What, Rachel?"_

_"I just... I think I might feel that way because of... I... I think I'm gay."_

_Quinn sat there for a few seconds before a frown crossed her face._

_"Oh."_

_"But I've never kissed a girl before," Rachel replied nervously. "So I don't know. I'm not even sure how."_

_"It's not different than kissing a boy, Rachel," Quinn replied before she impulsively cupped Rachel's cheeks with her hands and kissed her. She didn't know what made her do it but she wasn't expecting to feel as much. She felt Rachel's warm lips on her own and her heart raced as her body warmed. It was everything she ever imagined kissing should feel like. She felt Rachel's hand softly in her hair and she did something she had never done before while kissing someone._

_She moaned and swung a leg over Rachel's thighs so she was straddling her to allow their bodies to press closer together. She noticed immediately that Rachel's breasts were pressed against her own and it felt amazing. She could feel warmth starting to grow between her legs and the kisses quickly grew as Rachel licked her bottom lip and she opened her mouth and let their tongues dance together._

_They had started making out, finally giving in to her sapphic desires and she felt so free and even better was when Rachel had a similar reaction to the entire thing._

_The kiss was better than anything she had experienced up until that point and they had both been so ready to take it further._

_Rachel had actually reached into the back of her Spanx and was cupping her ass as they made out and she was shamelessly moaning into her mouth as the diva guided her to the bed. In fact, by the time she heard her parents pulling in, they were both topless and clutching each other's breasts with loud moans as they worked on unbuttoning each other's pants._

She wished she had have gone for it and Rachel even told her that she wished they had slept together that night because it would have meant her virginity wouldn't have gone to Finn so violently.

She knew deep down, Rachel wished her virginity had gone to Santana more than her but because it had almost been her barely a week before Finn stole it, she regretted it not being her. Even though their feelings for each other were nothing compared to their feelings for Santana or Brittany, she knew she would have made it a better experience than Finn had because she wasn't a monster, even taking into consideration her lack of experience with women, she knew she would have been gentle and patient.

But now she was dating Brittany Pierce. The beautiful and lovely Brittany Pierce. It was the riskiest thing she had ever done because she had no idea how her mother would feel about her being gay. And she wasn't ready to find out yet.

Her sister knew she was gay because she had seen them kissing and apparently the last time she stayed at the house, she had moaned out Brittany's name as she slept. Thankfully, Frannie had found it amusing and hadn't made a big deal of it. She had told Quinn to have safe sex and use condoms whenever it was needed.

"I date women, Frannie."

"Some women have penises, Quinn," Frannie pointed out. "I dated a transgender woman, Quinn... And yes, I'm bi."

That had been shocking to hear but she was happy to know that her sister was on her side with this.

But now, she was with Brittany and she felt so many emotions when they were together.

She felt as though she could reach up and grab the sun and the moon for Brittany.

Neither of them were virgins.

Quinn had lost her Virginity to Noah Puckerman.

And gotten pregnant.

She had had bad, drunk sex that she barely remembered and gotten pregnant. She'd convinced that moron Finn that he was the father of her baby.

Quinn was actually happy she never shared her first time with him because she idea of sleeping with him made her sick in a way she never experienced before. She felt like showering a million times over and over for the touches they had shared. She wanted to claw her skin off and just cleanse herself entirely of his touch.

After the BBQ, Brittany watched Quinn with deep, thoughtful eyes. They had begun talking about how they wanted to share their first time and Quinn was promising she would treat their first time as though it was Brittany's first time, regardless of whether or not it actually was. This had begun a discussion about how Quinn had lost her virginity and suddenly Brittany blurted out three words that turned the course of their discussion to a dark place.

"It was Finn."

"Finn?"

"Finn was the one who... He said he'd kill anyone I told. And _Lord Tubbington_. My baby, Quinn. He threatened my _baby._ But I want to tell Rachel about it. Please, be there when I tell her," Brittany sobbed into her neck.

Quinn ran her hands through Brittany's silky blonde hair and hummed quietly as she gently rocked her girlfriend back and forth.

Unlike Rachel, Brittany wasn't as jumpy, nervous and hesitant to touch but she still had her moments. Mostly her moments were tears and sobbing.

"I will."

"We were doing a song for Glee and I... he was saying how much he loved kissing you and I told him I loved lady kisses too and that I kissed Tina and he... he..."

Brittany's words cut off for a brief moment.

"Lord Tubbington bit him but Finn just locked him out of the room. I was so scared. Lord Tubbington refused to leave my side afterwards when I was home and he even tried sneaking into my backpack when I went to school. I wanted to tell you but he kept telling me what he'd do if I told anyone and... I couldn't, Quinn. I couldn't!"

Quinn felt sick all over again. How was it that one person could cause so much pain and destruction within her circle of friends. How could someone be such a monster to hurt either of these sweet, innocent girls. It was horrible and worse, both girls were still suffering and they would probably carry scars for the rest of their life. But Rachel would have stretch marks, birth memories and if she chose not to keep the baby after birth, she was going to suffer from that as well. It was unimaginable.

It made her wonder deep down if the night Santana had slept with him had been stolen as well.

But he hadn't been castrated, so she highly doubted it. No, Santana would have gone all kinds of crazy if he had tried to force himself on her. Quinn remembered the time Scott Lowery kissed her without her permission and... Actually, he still walked funny but at least he didn't tear up when he sat down anymore.

But the idiot had been going around claiming he was a _virgin_ around that time and going out of his way to make sure she knew it as though he were trying to guilt her into having sex with him while they were together.

Quinn's blood boiled but she kept her face devoid of those emotions as she gently kissed around Brittany's face and wiped away her tears with her thumb.

"Will she be mad I didn't tell her. I started telling her she should dump him. That he wasn't good enough but I couldn't tell her why. I was so scared to tell her because Finn said he would kill her more than anyone else if I told her," Brittany sobbed again. "So I told her it was because I missed her and instead, she began spending time with me and taking me to movies. I should have told her."

"I don't think she'll be mad. She'll be sad and guilty but we'll make sure she knows its not her fault, okay, Britt Britt."

"But if I had have told her, she wouldn't have been raped. She'd be happy all the time because she'd be getting sweet lady kisses from Santana or even you. Or all three of us."

Quinn sighed sadly, knowing these were things that couldn't have been guaranteed. There was no guarantee that Rachel knowing about Finn would have stopped him from raping her but she would have dumped his ass and had him arrested so quickly his head would spin.

And there was a high chance she might have murdered him before his pathetic coward ass had the chance to _try_ and kill her.

She saw how close Brittany and Rachel were. She didn't doubt for a second that Rachel would have murdered him the second she found out what he had done and happily gone to prison for her blonde friend.

She could easily see Rachel just walking into the school last year and just _murdering_ the boy in cold blood for Brittany.

Heck, she wanted to murder him on behalf of both the girls and he was _lucky _he was safe in prison where she, Santana, Puck, Kurt, Rachel's parents and Mercedes couldn't get to him. But she hoped that he was rooming with someone who was giving him his just desserts. It would only be fair.

"We can tell her tomorrow. Let her enjoy her date today. She deserves it, Britt."

"Will you come to spend the night with me and Lord Tubbington?"

Quinn smiled softly at Brittany and nodded, planning to give Lord Tubbington an extra treat tonight.

She also did her best not to visualise the four of them kissing various parts of each other's bodies because the idea was so hot. Especially the visual of Brittany and Rachel kissing up and down her neck while Santana ran her fingers up and down...

_Goddammit, Quinn!_

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

Santana was standing at Rachel's door wearing a simple outfit like Rachel, her hair was braided back similarly and she had so much love in her eyes that all Rachel could do to keep herself from physically swooning was to grab her hand and allowed herself to be pulled against her girlfriend's chest.

"Hello, darling," Santana purred as she put her fingers delicately under Rachel's chin and pulled her head up so their lips could meet in a sweet and tender kiss.

Rachel purred as their lips met and allowed herself to deepen the kiss but it didn't last long because Santana pulled away and looked into her eyes with love.

"We've got to go, Rachel."

Santana was driving as Rachel was torn between eyeing the road to try and figure out where they were going to eyeing Santana with love and adoration as she focused on the road with a look that made Rachel smile... When Santana focused on something like driving, she always bit her tongue so that the tip poked out her lips and it was a look Rachel found adorable and incredibly hot. Actually, all of Santana's looks were hot but this look was really hot.

As Santana guided Rachel outside, she couldn't help but grin as her jaw fell open when she laid eyes on the jeep in the drive. The green jeep was always in the garage, so Rachel would have had no reason to know if it but it was hilarious to see her face crinkle with confusion as Santana guided her by the hand to the parked vehicle. It was a modest jeep but she had never seen it before and she couldn't help but wonder where it had come from.

"Whose jeep is this?"

"My dad's. I got permission because part of the drive involves some off-road driving," Santana informed Rachel as she helped her into the vehicle before running to climb in the car for herself.

"Of road, huh? Should I be nervous?"

"Well, I was looking to sacrifice you but I guess we'll settle for a nice, blood-free romantic outing," Santana said chuckling as Rachel's face went from shock to amusement.

"So kind."

"Sacrificial rituals are for the second date," Santana informed Rachel with a smirk on her face as she kissed Rachel's lips before she started the jeep which roared happily to life.

"Hmm," Rachel began in a taunting voice, clearly still in high spirits from the BBQ because the smile had yet to leave her face. "You seem to think there will be a second date?"

"Mi Estrella," Santana purred with a grin. "I don't think, I _know._"

"Cocky much?" Rachel grinning flirtatiously.

"You of _all people_ should know by now that I'm not at all _cocky_," Santana purred out, winking seductively at Rachel who blushed brilliantly at Santana's words but kept her expression even.

"Hilarious."

"We're about to go off-road. You might lose cell reception now," Santana said as she turned onto a small narrow dirt road.

"I need my cell phone on a date?"

"You never know," Santana shrugged.

"I don't need my cell... So I didn't bring it. So I left it at home so I could devote my attention to my beautiful, sexy date," Rachel replied as she winked at Santana who uncharacteristically blushed.

"Good."

Within a few minutes, she pulled into a beautiful clearing filled with green grass, flowers, a beautiful waterfall leaking into a lake which was surrounded by grass. It was cut off entirely from the road, it was private and beautiful because the moonlight was streaming in between the trees, and lighting the area perfectly because the light was reflecting off the water, making it seem like the water was glowing and sparkling.

There was a small bench right by the water.

"That bench is the spot my parents got engaged. They found the place while they were hiking. He was going to propose later in the evening but he thought the place was so perfect and the water made mami's skin glow so perfectly that he couldn't wait another second to ask her," Santana explained as she took Rachel's hand and kissed it gently as she looked into Rachel's glowing eyes and watched the sparkling light from the water as it reflected upon her skin. It made her look so beautiful and suddenly, Santana understood her father's words because she des[erately wished she had a ring to put on her finger because she looked beautiful enough for her to consider getting down on one knee.

"It's beautiful, San."

"There's more, follow me, Rachel," Santana purred as she pulled Rachel to the edge of the lake before pulling her behind the waterfall. "You're probably going to get a little wet."

"Really, San?" Rachel teased, making Santana's cheeks glow as she realised what she said and how it sounded.

"Not like that... I mean..."

"I know, San."

"Just follow me," Santana said as she kissed the back of Rachel's hand and began pulling her a completely behind the water and it was interesting to hear the sound from the outside fade away completely and soon they were surrounded bu the sounds of the waterfall and nothing else. There was a tiny opening with battery-operated lanterns and a blanket laid out by a stack of pillows covered by a large plastic bag to keep the humidity from the waterfall from getting to the pillows. But there wasn't much humidity aside from the occasional drop of water.

From there she was standing, she could see bits of moonlight reflecting through the water and the roar of water crashing down was beautiful. And Santana's skin looked amazing under this water. She looked so sexy.

"I discovered _this_ spot by myself. My parents were always too nervous to come back here. One day, I drove up and just slipped behind. I brought Quinn in case something went wrong but nothing did."

"It's so nice, San."

"I figured you'd like it. I actually thought of you when I found it and we weren't together then," Santana said honestly. "I liked you even back then. Let's sit."

"Can we cuddle, San?"

"That's why I brought the blankets and pillows," Santana explained happily as she pulled Rachel towards the blankets and pillows and curling up so they were both comfortable. "And that's why we're here."

Soon, the garage bags were gone and they were laying on the blanket against the pillows with Rachel's head cradled against Santana's chest while the Latina ran her fingers through Rachel's hair.

"I love you, San."

"I love you, Rachel. So much."

"I'm so glad we're together but it's not going to be easy. I meant it when I said I'm done hiding," Rachel began, knowing she had to discuss one of her insecurities about coming out at school but they're going to think I cheated on you."

"You didn't."

"I know that and you know that but I don't want to go blurting to the whole world I was raped. I'd rather have them look at me with judgement than pity."

"Let them. Let those idiots think what they're going to think. I don't give a rat's ass but I'll go Lima Heights on anyone who says anything to you," Santana promised firmly, clenching her fists and glaring as though they were surrounded by people who were about to challenge her on this.

"You know, you're hot when you get defensive," Rachel purred, finding herself getting more and more turned on to hear her girlfriend talk defensively about her and she was getting hot and bothered. She loved how protective Santana got. And she had been turned on since earlier that morning. Since she and Santana made love again but were interrupted. She had been turned on and found herself becoming more and more aroused every time Santana spoke.

"Am I?" Santana purred out as she turned to look into Rachel's eyes and found her pupils were wide with lust and she was biting her lips lustfully as she eyed Santana up and down as though undressing her with her eyes but her eyes we filled with love, passion and longing because she longed to be close and intimate with Santana.

**"I'm kind of... _really_ turned on," Rachel said as she bit her lip before gazing deeply into Santana's eyes as she told her girlfriend how turned on her was. As she conveyed this with her eyes.**

**"Really?" Santana asked as she gulped out as her breathing began to hitch as her own pupils began to grow and a sexy smirk crossed her face.**

**"Really," Rachel replied boldly as confidence took over and she grabbed Santana's hand and guided it inside her pants and right to her dripping folds so she could see for herself just how turned on she was.**

**When Santana shuddered, she grinned proudly, knowing exactly what she was doing to her girlfriend.**

**"Ah... dios mio," Santana purred out as she pulled her fingers from Rachel's panties and licked her fingers, blushing as she began to worry briefly how she was going to react to the move but found that Rachel's lust-filled eyes only grew more lustful and her crooked grin only grew. "You taste _good._"**

**"I do?"**

**"I don't think you understand how good... How badly I want to _ravish_ you right now?" Santana replied as she placed a kiss on Rachel's neck. "But I know you might not be ready for..."**

**"Do it."**

**For a second, Santana froze, thinking she had misheard Rachel. But upon seeing the passion in her eyes, she knew it was real and this was what she wanted.**

**"Are you..."**

**"Do it. I tasted you and I have been longing to feel your tongue all day. Please San, go down on me. I want you, I want you now!... Wait! Can anyone hear us here?"**

**Santana had to force her mind to clear long enough to remember _where_ they were so she could answer Rachel's question.**

**"Do it."**

**"As long as you're sure."**

**"I'm so sure."**

**"Okay but we're going to do this right," Santana replied, earning a puzzled look from Rachel. "Come here."**

**Santana pulled Rachel's lips to her mouth and began passionately kissing her.**

**The pleasure begins and before they could even remove a shred of clothing, Rachel finds her centre throbbing more and more because she knows what's about to happen and she can already find her mind straining to figure out what it will feel like the have Santana's tongue against her slit.**

**This particular visual makes her centre throb so painfully that she decided to move this along by pulled Santana's shirt out of her pants and up towards her head. They sperate their lips long enough to pull the shirt the rest of the way up, taking a few seconds to fill their lungs and pull of Rachel's top too. Once they were topless, they reconnected their lips and repositioned themselves so Rachel was up against the pillows while Santana kissed her hungrily with her hands roaming Rachel's now bareback.**

**Finally, her lips left Rachel's as she felt her pants being undone by her now very impatient, squirming girlfriend. So she quickly removed her pants and underwear before she began kissing down Rachel's neck and towards her chest.**

**"I can't tell you how long I've wanted to do this," Santana announced as she began licking one of Rachel's erect nipples while pawing the other one, causing pure, raw pleasure to rip through her body. She groaned and began pushing Santana's head towards the source of her centre, throbbing in anticipation for what was about to come because she knew she was about to explode if Santana didn't hurry.**

**Santana chuckled and continued her descend, already able to tell by the potent smell of arousal just how badly Rachel needed her to hurry.**

**When she arrived, she placed a few kisses on Rachel's beautiful thighs, taking a few seconds to appreciate the view that greeted her. And it was beautiful. This was the first time she had actually _seen_ Rachel's glistening sex up close and personal and she was positively loving the view.**

**Rachel moaned at the kisses so close to where she needed them but they were driving her mad and when she pushed Santana's head towards her centre.**

**Santana, thankfully took the cue and grabbed Rachel's waist, pulled her head closer and gave her centre a nice, long lick which caused the most beautiful moan to rip from Rachel's mouth.**

**So, she quickly found Rachel's clit and began flicking it back and forth with her tongue, causing Rachel's waist to lift with pleasure and she does her best to hold her down but the pleasure radiating through her body was making her body twist in anticipation. She needed more. She needed...**

**"Inside."**

**"R-Rachel?"**

**That was the one thing Rachel was always saying she wasn't ready for and now here she was, asking for it. When they began making love to each other, she said not to go inside. She worried that this could trigger her.**

**"I need you, San. I love you. I trust you. Please."**

**She could feel herself throbbing to be filled by Santana. She needed to feel her fingers inside of her. She never needed anything so badly in her life. She could feel herself dripping down her thights, telling her just how ready she was for it.**

**"Safeword?"**

**"Sanctuary."**

**"I'm coming up," Santana said, kissing her way back up Rachel's body.**

**She knew what Santana was doing. The last time she asked her to touch her, she wanted to maintain eye contact and she was certain the only reason she didn't try to do it when she was going down on her was because it wasn't really possible but this was different. This was crossing a line that they had not only never crossed before but had been expressly avoided and she wanted to know the second Rachel became uncomfortable.**

**"Look at me," Santana purred as she moved her hand down and cupped Rachel's throbbing centre and rubbed carefully, making sure to continue stimulating her clit.**

**Rachel met her eyes and the look they shared was filled with so much love, passion and sincerity that she felt completely sure she was doing the right thing. That she was completely ready to share this moment with Santana and sure she might not be technically sharing her virginity with her but in her heart, she felt like she was.**

**"Are you ready, Rachel?"**

**Rachel grabbed her face and kissed her hungrily, before giving Santana a nod.**

**At first, the finger slowly traced her entrance while she lightly traced circles around her clit.**

**"San..."**

**"I just want to be certain you're ready."**

**"I'm so ready."**

**"Okay."**

**With one finger, Santana entered her and at first, Rachel gasphed and tensed. She had been entered before but this was different than the last time. It was gentle, loving, sweet and careful.**

**She met Santana's wide, worried eyes and did her best to hide the momentary pain that crossed her eyes but she must have failed because a look of regret crossed her face and she looked to be seconds away from apologising and pulling out so she could make up for this mistake.**

**She knew it was too soon.**

**"Rachel?"**

**"Give me a second. Move a bit."**

**Santana met her eyes again, nervous tears filled her eyes but she began curling her finger a bit until she found Rachel's g-spot. At first, she was tense but quickly, her eyes were filled with pleasure as Santana thumbed her clit while she curled her finger.**

**"F-faster, San. Faster."**

**Santana smiled, her own hesitation dissipating as she curled her fingers faster. She could feel more and more wetness and Rachel was lost in the pleasure of her girlfriend's fingers. The only thing that was keeping her grounded was keeping her gaze constantly on Santana's eyes.**

**She came quickly and hard. It took over a minute for her to calm down and catch her breath enough for her breathing to even out to a healthy speed. As soon as she still, Santana leaned in and kissed her as she removed her finger from Rachel's tight channel before she began lovingly running her fingers along the side of Rachel's cheek.**

"Are you okay, Rachel?"

"I am so perfect right now. Just keep holding me," Rachel replied as she ran her fingers through Santana's hair.

"I plan to, Rachel."

"So, do you want me to..."

"Not tonight. This is about you. This was a big moment."

"You're amazing, San," Rachel said with a grin on her face as she pulled Santana in for a sweet kiss."

"Did it hurt?"

This was Santana's biggest worry. She never wanted to do anything to hurt her, so she needed to know if she had done anything that had caused her any discomfort.

"No. Not really. At first, it felt weird but then it felt good. Oh, god, it felt _so_ good," Rachel replied, so blissful and happy in Santana's arms that she couldn't do anything to bring her smile down.

"Oh, you made that pretty clear and I'm certain that you squirted."

"I'm sorry."

"Never, ever apologise for that," Santana said as she kissed Rachel's nose. "It means you _really_ got into what I did."

"I love you."

"I love you, Rachel."

"Can we come back here again?"

Santana smiled. There was something so satisfying about bringing Rachel to her favourite spot in the moonlight. But for Rachel to want to return was enough to make her entire stomach swell proudly.

"Only until it starts getting cold but speaking of cold, we need to get dressed. It's too cold for us to be laying naked like this for too long."

"I don't want to move."

"I know... But you're pregnant."

"I know... What will we do when I'm too big for you to hold like this?"

"I'll spoon you from behind. I'll never stop cuddling you."

"Promise."

"I promise and if I can't, you'll have Bobby Bunny."

"I just love the way Bobby smells like you. I had something like that when I was little. It was Walter Walrus and he smelled like my fathers. I couldn't sleep without him. I flat out refused. One night, Walter got dirty and they were going to wash him in the morning but I refused to sleep so they washed him in the middle of the night because they got tired of my yelling."

"You must have been feisty as a kid," Santana said with a chuckle.

"I prefer to say... spirited... Motivated. I once broke my arm practising flips on a tree branch like I had seen on TV because it was the only thing sturdy enough... I fell but that's when my dad signed me up for gymnastics. "

"How old were you?"

"Five?"

"Where were your fathers?"

"Daddy was at work and Dad was talking to the police because a neighbour was mad about my singing... again."

"That was a frequent occurrence?"

It had been such a common occurrence that her fathers had been given a timeline to soundproof Rachel's room or find somewhere else to live.

That was the day she met Brittany Pierce.

Brittany had seen her in the tree trying to do a cartwheel and told her she shouldn't be trying to do it do high but Rachel was stubborn and promised Brittany she would be careful... And fell three seconds later when the branch gave under her weight.

Brittany had been amazing and helped her to her father and together they went to the hospital.

She didn't meet Brittany again until she began gymnastics but she still remembered how nice she had been when she fell.

Since then, she and Brittany made a great team. They worked well together and they helped the Cheerios with training.

A few weeks ago they had begun joking about opening their own gymnastics Acadamy but recently they had been joking less and actually making plans for how they would actually run the academy and the best way to make it happen.

"You can say it was common but honestly I think it had something to do with my fathers being together because no one said anything about Mrs Scott's dogs or Mr Carter's frequent (and terrible) attempts at rap."

Santana opened her mouth to say something but it went forgotten when Rachel shuddered against her.

"Okay, time to get dressed now and into the jeep. You're cold."

Rachel wanted to say no but she was cold.

"Come on, Rachel, let's get dressed," Santana purred softly. "We'll go snuggle at my house in my bed."

"I like your bed."

"Just my bed?"

"Well, I like you too."

"Should I be jealous?"

"A little..."

The drive back to Santana's was nice and quick. When they entered the house, a man was exiting the house with a briefcase and gelled black hair. He was rushing out of the house and had a look of shock when he saw Santana and Rachel on the porch.

"Dad."

"Hello, Mr Lopez."

"Ah yes. The girlfriend. How are you today? Sanny, I just had the fridge stocked, so you should be good for a while. I'm going into work. I'll soo you sometime soon... Rachel."

With those words, the man made his way to the car in the garage and drove away from the house without stopping to see if Santana needed anything.

Rachel couldn't believe how much Santana's parents avoided her. Her own fathers hadn't had much choice in how often they could and couldn't contact her. She knew if they had have known what had happened to her, they would have come home as soon as possible but it would have taken at least a month.

But now that they were home, she saw them every day and they did things together and they spoke often about little things, big things and meaningless things.

They even went out of their way to include Santana in on the discussions which was a nice change to their usual conversations and Santana seemed to enjoy being included. She was becoming more open with them and getting over the pain and panic that had happened when the men first returned.

But it amazed her how after so long, the men still know their daughter as well as they did.

Sure things were different. Rachel was eating meat and dating a woman but they still knew her favourite colour, favourite songs, they knew when Rachel was being cranky and quiet and they knew when she was nervous. Even if there wasn't much they could do, they still knew. They knew the movies Santana could suggest that made her the happiest, they knew the CDs Rachel loved and they knew where Rachel would hide in the house when she wanted to be along and let her.

Santana's parents simply did not care enough to learn those kinds of things about her. They didn't know her favourite movies, songs or books. They didn't know what colour she likes and they barely even knew how she was doing in school. The Berry men had been away for months and they could still go in detail about how Rachel was doing in school, her gymnastics and they even knew about her cheerios and the drama around that.

But moreover, in the brief time they had known Santana, they had learned almost as much about her as well.

It had been an astounding and shocking experience when she walked into the kitchen one morning to find her favourite foods being prepared to celebrate her acing her bio test which she had been studying long and hard for despite her struggles in the class. The men knew and they had made a big deal as though she was their own daughter and it made her so happy... Even though she would never admit it out loud.

She was surprised by how much they paid attention to her.

It had taken them one morning to memorize that Santana had a peanut allergy and eliminate it entirely from the house; a sacrifice her parents hadn't even been willing to make. They didn't eat it around her but they still kept it in the house and ate it when she wasn't home. They had also bought her stuff for their house specifically so she didn't have to carry it back and forth.

It was little things lie toothbrush, toothpaste, her favourite body wash and shampoo that shocked her but it was the whole outfits, pyjamas, robes, and stocking up on the foods they heard she enjoyed so she could have them there too. At first, she thought it had been them attempting to make up for the night they came home but she learnt that wasn't the case because they were just as accommodating towards Kurt and Mercedes the few times they were at the Berry house.

So, despite their rough beginning, she was beginning to like the men and feel at home in their house. And she knew more about the men than she ever knew about her own parents.

Both men were doctors but LeRoy tended to more critical and severe patients while Hiram did the more emotionally complex patients and children. Hiram was the doctor who put IVs in children, needles in the distraught and talked patients through scary treatments. LeRoy handled the more complex patients that required quick thinking and less talking. He was more the doctor who performed CPR or was the first line of defence if someone was severely bleeding. Santana could see how both of their skill sets would have been helpful in Africa.

It was for that reason that she found herself enjoying her time at Rachel's more than she enjoyed being at her own place.

Except for tonight.

She had just essentially deflowered their daughter. She didn't feel like looking them in the eye so soon after that. It didn't matter that she knew the men were cool with what they were doing and if they were okay with their arrangement and most likely knew they were sexually active it was still awkward because she knew she was grinning dopily and Rachel's face was definitely communicating what they had just done.

Even blind people could look at Rachel's face and know she was still basking in the afterglow.

Once they got to Santana's room, she began stripping out of her damp clothes and discarded them into the hamper beside the closet.

"Are we wearing pyjamas tonight?"

"I'd rather not... If that's okay with you..."

"Well, that's one thing I'll never complain about," Santana replied as she pulled off her own clothes and followed Rachel into her bed.

The blankets were fresh, warm and so nice against her skin. The only thing that felt better was Santana's embrace as she pulled Rachel as close as their bodies would allow.

Rachel grinning as the memories from the evening began to overwhelm her. The touches, the roar of the water, the way Santana looked into her eyes as though she were gazing into her soul as she made Rachel feel things she had never felt before. As she made her feel whole and loved and treasured.

So today, so felt right to open herself to her in a way that she had originally been reluctant to do.

As soon as she felt Santana rest her head on top of hers, she began to relax in her arms. It was addictive. She smelt amazing and their skin felt so nice together. It made her feel like she never would stop smiling.

Santana wrapped her arms around her waist and pulled her close as she kissed the top of Rachel's head. It was amazing to feel Santana embrace her and hold her close. She felt so safe and so loved as they embraced, especially after what they had done. She felt so wonderful.

"What names do you like for a baby?"

"Baby names, baby?"

"You know... in case..."

"Well, I have always loved the name Ava for a girl or Antonio for a boy," Santana said as she ran her hands through Rachel's hair.

Rachel pursed her lips and thought about it for a few moments. She really liked those names.

"How'd you come up with them?"

"Ava is a name I have always loved so much, its adorable and Antonio would have been my name if I had been a boy... I have always liked it too," Santana said as she kissed to top of Rachel's head.

"I think the baby's a girl."

Santana smiled, even if Rachel couldn't see her lips, she knew she was smiling.

"A girl?"

"Baby girl."

"Have you decided what you want to do?"

"I think... I might want to... consider raising her but I'm scared. I'm so scared. I don't know much about babies and parenting and... I don't want to lose you if it gets to be too much."

"It won't. Rachel, I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to and even then, it would be with reluctance. I _love_ you, Rachel and if you want to raise this baby, that's fine but I'm not going anywhere," Santana said as she tightened her grip around Rachel.

"Really? Even when I'm leaking from my breasts, covered in spit-up and crying over literal spilt milk because I haven't slept in over a week?"

"Even then."

Rachel couldn't help but smile at Santana's words because she sounded so determined.

"I'm going to miss this."

"Why?"

"Because I love you holding me."

Santana sighed sadly and rubbed gently at Rachel's back.

"No... I mean... Why will you miss this?"

"Because, when the baby comes, you're going to need your sleep. And I..."

"Will be sleeping right here in my arms with the baby in the room with us because I love you and I want you and your baby to be safe... I don't care if I don't get much sleep, if I get woken up a few times. Especially for your baby."

Rachel nuzzled into Santana's chest and rubbed their legs together happily as she breathed in her scent and let her body relax at her girlfriend's words.

"But we're so young..."

"So... I love you, Rachel. Will it be easy... Heck no but you will always have me in your corner. I will be there every step of the way. It's a responsibility neither of us asked for but for you... I'm in."

Rachel nuzzled a bit more and gave Santana's chest a sleepy kiss.

"I love you."

"And I love you..."

Together the two girls fell asleep, Rachel feeling more and more secure in her relationship than before.

It was about three when Santana woke up to soft whimpers from her chest.

She lovingly stroked Rachel's hair and whispered softly into her ears until she felt Rachel stop squirming against her.

When Rachel's eyes opened, she immediately glanced into Santana's and gave a soft whimper before burying her face entirely into her chest.

"You make my nightmares go away," Rachel said softly as Santana ran her hands up and down Rachel's bareback. She felt Rachel's fingers snake around her back and soothing circles being rubbed. She wasn't at all upset but sometimes, Rachel would subconsciously make soothing gestures towards her while she herself was being soothed. It was nice and it made her fall in love with Rachel more and more every day.

She kissed the top of her head and smiled as Rachel once again rubbed their legs together. She found it amusing how much Rachel enjoyed their skin touching. It was the simple things that made Rachel happy. Things like spooning naked and smoothies made her smile. But she seemed to really enjoy making her happy.

It seemed all Santana had to do to make her happy sometimes was simply smile and hold her and she was thrilled. Its why she loved doing bigger things for her. Like taking her to the meadow and making love to her under the waterfall. Mind you, the last part wasn't planned but it had been amazing and she was so happy that Rachel had trusted her enough to allow her not only to touch her but to penetrate her.

She had honestly expected loud nightmares after that but Rachel seemed completely at peace with what happened and even a little disappointed that Santana wouldn't let her return the favour.

"I will always do what I can, Rach. I will always do what I can. Let's go back to sleep, okay?"

"Okay, San. I love you."

Santana smiled as she felt Rachel's breathing even out and soon, she knew Rachel was asleep. Soon enough, it was the sound of Rachel's soft breathing that slowly put her to sleep.

But before she did finally surrender to sleep, she made a vow to herself to do everything in her power to keep her precious diva safe from any more harm.


	14. Brittany

**Chapter 14**

**Warnings: None**

**Chapter Rating: T for implied sexuality**

**Some Fluff**

**Disclaimer: I am not an OBGYN and the research I have done on pregnancy has come directly from Google. I hope it's not too off base. **

**Disclaimer 2: I still do not own Glee because if I did, Santana and Quinn would have totally had an affair and Quinn would have ended up with Rachel or Brittany. I have moments, I ship all of them because they all have great chemistry. **

**Also: Though this story contains some Finn Bashing, I do not have a problem with the character. I chose him as the rapist because it just fit into his motives better and he was the one with strong enough motives to rape both Brittany and Rachel.**

* * *

If there was one thing Brittany loved, it was the feeling she got whenever she wore new sneakers to school because they made her feel so bouncy. She loved tying the laces for the first time and walking through the halls, displaying her new sneakers to the world.

She knew nobody could tell she was wearing new sneakers, nor did they _care_ but it still gave her a confidence boost and it made her feel so good.

The only thing that made her morning better was Quinn Fabray waiting by her locker with the look she wore whenever she was clearly having sexy thoughts about her but was trying not to let it show, unlike Brittany who didn't care if the whole world knew about her naughty thoughts for her sexy blonde girlfriend. The only reason she kept quiet because she knew it made Quinn sad and scared when she was too loud about their relationship.

Quinn was not ready to be out.

But hopefully, soon she would be.

For now, she was okay saving Quinn just for herself.

She didn't like watching the boys flirt with her. In front of her as though she wasn't there. The way they would ask her out as though she wasn't standing there talking to someone before they decided to butt their way into her conversation. It was annoying, rude and mean.

Her girlfriend was smoking hot and the boys all stared at her. She wanted to tell them Quinn was hers and nobody else's but she couldn't.

But she loved Quinn and it was moments they shared when they were alone that made it all worth it, even if they hadn't had sex yet, it was still special because of how often they would spend just looking into each other's eyes and the way she felt when Quinn held her in her arms as the cuddled on the couch or when she kissed the top and bottoms of her lips before leaning to capture her whole lips in a full-blown kiss.

She loved the way Quinn would stay at her house and let her be the big spoon but she made a great big spoon herself whenever Brittany needed some extra cuddles.

Those days didn't happen as often. The nightmares were still there but they weren't as bad as they were. As Rachel's still were.

Sometimes, when she looked into Rachel's eyes, her expression told Brittany how tired she was because she was still waking up at night. Sometimes, it was clear she was nervous and needed some space or needed a hug. Sometimes she was tired from a long night of not sleeping because of the nightmares.

Brittany was over this stage but it distressed her to know Rachel was going through it. It made her sad when she saw bags under her friend's eyes and she wanted to cry whenever Rachel would jump or squirm after a loud noise.

Sometimes she would pull Rachel into a hug and just whisper out that she knew and it was enough to make her feel better and more comfortable.

Sometimes Rachel would text her for a joke or a distraction and she would happily send her pictures of Lord Tubbington or Quinn wearing a wig and silly glasses.

But Rachel's battle was far from over. She was doing better but she still had a long way to go.

And Quinn knew it too.

They both did everything they could to make her day easier and Santana always nodded her appreciation whenever she saw them handling problems with Cheerios before Rachel could become aware of them or the way they would distract Elisabeth away when Rachel was coming down a hallway to make sure they didn't end up communicating.

The days were getting cooler and Quinn was wearing her Cheerio varsity while holding a steaming cup which most likely held Brittany's favourite drink; hot chocolate with three caramel shots. Soon, they would be getting their winter varsity jackets and their cold-weather uniforms because outdoor practices continued, even when the temperatures were sub-zero and the feeling of the cold air against your exposed skin was nothing short of agonising.

When she got closer, she could smell Quinn's cream strawberry perfume. All she wanted to do was bury her face into Quinn's body and inhale her until she the scent was ingrained in her mind without a chance of escaping.

Oh, she couldn't wait to get Quinn into an empty classroom and feel her lips on hers.

"Good morning, Quinnie!"

God, Quinn's lips looked so kissable. And they were only a couple inches away.

Just a little closer. But she couldn't.

"Morning, Britt Britt." Quinn's smirk told Brittany that she knew what was going on in Brittany's mind but it was her eyes that held the apology for not being ready to do something about it. They held the promise of what would come the second they were alone. "Did you sleep well?"

This was Quinn's way of asking if Brittany had had any nightmares.

Brittany had not had a nightmare all week long and she was hoping it kept up because she hated the nightmares. They made her feel nervous and when she had a nightmare, Lord Tubbington always got really nervous and would sleep on top of her chest and because he wasn't exactly tiny, it wasn't the most comfortable experience in the world. He would also become overprotective and hiss every time someone would pass Brittany's room at night. It was something her parents had accepted reluctantly because they knew the cat was helping Brittany heal.

They had found out what happened to Brittany six months after it happened because they were always very distracted and it had taken six months for them to notice what was wrong. They noticed the nightmares but she had told them not to worry.

When they did find out, it was because she had broken down and finally told them. She begged them not to get anyone involved and when the police were called, she refused to give a name or anything because his threat was so clear in her mind.

"I did. But Lord Tubbington asked if you were coming over tonight."

And it was true. He had taken Quinn's picture from her nightstand and placed it in her lap before looking at her with question clear in his eyes as he asked for the girl who tended to slip him treats whenever she came over.

Quinn was the second person he had ever taken to like that.

He adored Rachel and went nuts whenever she came over and now he reacted the same way with Quinn which made Brittany really happy because it was important that Lord Tubbington get along with Quinn. She wasn't sure she would be willing to date someone who didn't like her cat and she certainly wasn't going to give him up for anyone.

"With bells on my toes."

"Awe, Quinnie… You don't need to put bells on your toes," Brittany replied with a grin.

"I'll be there. Nothing could stop me," Quinn replied with a wink of her own as she made a motion like she was about to kiss her but she stopped when she remembered where they were.

"Come with me…"

Quinn grabbed Brittany's hand and guided her to the choir room before gently pulling her into her arms and kissing her upper lip, her chin and then finally her lips.

Brittany sighed into the kiss and pulled Quinn as close as she could before she pulled back and looked deeply into Quinn's eyes.

They spent a few moments with their foreheads together before Brittany sighed a thoughtful sigh. It was time to talk about what was happening that day.

"I texted Rachel," Brittany starting, earning all of Quinn's attention as she realised exactly where Brittany was going with this. "I'm going to tell her at lunch."

The room fell silent for a few seconds as Quinn processed this information and gave a nod. Her face was full of support, love and adoration.

"Are you ready for that?"

"Do you think she'll be mad I didn't tell her?"

Brittany chose to ignore Quinn's question because she knew she could _never_ be ready for this conversation but she knew she had to do it eventually. There was no way around it.

Brittany was so worried about Rachel's reaction. She had been up chewing her cuticles, even though Lord Tubbington would bat at her hands every time because he knew she shouldn't do doing that. But she couldn't help it.

It was going to be a really uncomfortable conversation. She was raped by her best friends ex while her best friend was still dating him and hadn't said anything just because he had threatened her. And now, Rachel was suffering because she hadn't known to steer clear of him. Because she hadn't been told what kind of man her boyfriend was.

But she felt guilty… so guilty and it was something she knew she had to get off of her chest. She had to tell Rachel so it would stop eating away at her.

Logically, she knew Rachel wouldn't be mad but she couldn't help but worry.

"No way!" Quinn said softly, tearing Brittany away from her thoughts as she kissed Brittany's forehead over and over again. Softly and gently. "She loves you almost as much as I do."

Brittany's worries faded as Quinn's words registered in her mind. The full impact.

"You love me?"

Quinn sighed happily as she wrapped her arms around Brittany's waist as kissed the top of her head so sweetly before nervously taking her hand to guide her into the hallway. As soon as they were in the hall, she let go of Brittany's hand. But she began softly speaking as they walked down the hallway.

"I do. I love you so much it scares me, Britt. I don't know what to do with myself sometimes."

Brittany had to fight all urges to pull Quinn into a kiss because that was so romantic and she could tell by looking into Quinn's eyes that she meant every single word of what she was saying and that made it so much more beautiful.

"Quinn, I love you, too… I wish I could kiss you right now…"

"I wish you could, too."

"Quinnie, look! They're here! They're doing it!"

Brittany jumped up and down excitedly when she saw Rachel and Santana making their way down the hall.

When they first told Brittany and Quinn that Rachel was ready to come out, she was nervous because what if they were mean to Rachel but then she realised how much Rachel needed to be able to show affection to Santana and if she was ready and Santana was ready, then why hold back?

So now, Quinn and Brittany were helping to make sure that nobody was mean to Rachel and that they didn't say anything to the pair that made Rachel sad or nervous.

Santana had phoned as three o'clock nervous that some of the bullies were going to say something to her. She didn't care if they made comments to her but they all know Rachel was just too delicate at the moment and shouldn't _have_ do deal with their hateful words.

Rachel was grinning from ear to ear as they walked and Santana was smiling as she watched Rachel with adoration in her eyes. She was looking around the room as though daring anyone to say anything to them. The hallway parted as they made their way through but nobody batted an eye because it wasn't uncommon to see them hold hands and whispering to each other.

"That's not really new. They did that before," Quinn said, commented about the way they were holding hands and whispering softly to each other.

Suddenly, Santana spun Rachel around until their chests were pressed together before she pulled the giggling diva in for a kiss. It was a soft, chaste kiss but clearly, it was not a typical exchange between friends and there was a hallway fall of students who were all now staring at them with their jaws dropped as they processed this site.

Rachel Berry kissing Santana Lopez! That was huge!

Jacob Ben Isreal was standing there gob smacked as he began frantically snapping photos as the pair kissed.

Some of the Cheerios watched in disgust while the others looked indifferent.

A few of the make students began cheering and whooping.

Some of the teachers looked conflicted and unsure how to handle the situation.

"Okay, that's new," Quinn whispered, looking longingly at Brittany's lips.

"I won't stop you if you want to…"

"No. Not yet, Britt. I'm sorry… I just…"

"I get it, Quinnie. I'm not upset. I'll wait as long as I have to," Brittany promised. She knew Quinn was nervous about her parents finding out and word getting around the entire school. She knew Quinn wouldn't admit it but she was watching peoples reactions to Santana and Rachel to try and figure out how they would react to her when she came out.

When Rachel and Santana passed them, holding hands and occasionally, Santana would draw Rachel's hand to her mouth and gave it a soft kiss which made Rachel blush profusely.

"Britt, are we still meeting in the choir room at lunch?"

Rachel was standing clutching Santana's hand as she watched Brittany with a curious expression as though she was trying to figure out what Brittany needed to talk about.

"Yeah… I'll see you then," Brittany said softly as the bell rang.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"Okay class, who is Cleopatra?"

History was Brittany's least favourite class. The teacher was always mean to her when she got an answer wrong. She called her dumb and always called on her but she had trouble paying attention in the class.

Brittany had ADHD and for her, focusing on a class like history was always incredibly difficult. Thankfully Quinn was there to stick up for her when the teacher decided to be mean and now, it took a simple glare to stop the teacher from calling her names.

Today, she was barely paying attention at all because she had so much on her mind that she couldn't stay focused long enough to think about staying focused.

"An Egyptian dancer."

Brittany sighed distractedly as she continued to focus on how she was going to break her news to Rachel. She had to have the words right and as she spoke, she knew her answer was wrong but at that moment, she honestly didn't care. She had more important things to worry about than Egypt.

"Erm…"

"Close," Quinn said softly, before turning to the teacher who was still stumbling with a way to correct Brittany with a mocking look on her face... Seriously, how did that woman even get a teaching licence?

"Not really…"

"Yes, well, it's close enough. Move on!"

Quinn stopped the teacher before she could completely correct Brittany; Quinn clear could tell Brittany was distracted and having trouble focusing.

"Fine, whatever… When can you fine the Nile, Brittany?"

Upon hearing her name, Brittany turned to face the teacher.

"Um, Da nile is a state of mind so the brain."

"Well…"

Quinn glared at the teacher again before turning back to her girlfriend but once again Brittany was not paying attention to a thing because she was too busy focusing on her coming conversation.

It had to go well.

Quinn watched her carefully and tried to think of something she could do to comfort her.

"She's so dumb."

"Wanna try and say that to my face?" Quinn demanded, turning to the Cheerio who had spoken and turned the fiercest glare she could, taking great pride in the way her face turned white and her whole posture changed… She still had it.

"No ma'am!"

"Good!"

Brittany sat at her desk, chewing her fingernail and staring at her desk. She figured it would be best to take a band-aid approach and just blurt it out. But was that really the best way. She didn't want to have to repeat herself and she knew Rachel was going to need a second to process what she was being told.

Either way she knew it was going to be a difficult conversation and she was going to have to talk about things she hadn't spoken of in a while because she hadn't been ready.

Because it was hard to think about, let alone tell someone. But she was ready to tell Rachel.

The air in the room went still and suddenly, it was very quiet and she was able to think just a little bit clearer.

"Brittany?"

"Quinn?"

"It's lunchtime. Are you ready?"

Brittany turned her attention to the classroom and sure enough, her classmates had all left and were out in the halls noisily chatting away as they made their way to their lunchtime destination. Smells of food wafted into the classroom made her stomach twist nervously as she realised it was now or never.

"I am about as ready as I'm going to be," Brittany muttered as she accepted Quinn's hand. Before she could walk out of the classroom, she felt Quinn pull her to her chest and a light kiss was placed on her lips.

"Stay?"

"Of course, Britt."

The walk to the choir room was uneventful until…

"Have you heard? Rachel Berry and Santana Lopez were totally gay over each other in the hall today?"

There was something about Jane Roses' nasal voice that made Brittany really frustrated and the fact that she was talking about her best friend so meanly only made it worse.

Jane Rose was a Baby Cheerio and bottom of the pyramid. She was talking to Polly Weltz, another Baby Cheerio on the bottom of the pyramid, with a sneer on her face as though they were talking about something disgusting. It made sense, Jane's father was a pastor and Polly's father was a decon.

"I blame Berry… She thinks because she's got two homos for daddies that she can go turn the rest of us into dykes like some kind of…"

"You two need to stop!"

Brittany had heard enough of Polly's hateful words and decided to step in. They didn't react at first until that saw Quinn standing behind Brittany with a glare on her face.

"Brittany…"

"Quinn, they're being mean!"

"I know," Quinn said softly to Brittany before she turned her best HBIC glare to the two pale, trembling Baby Cheerios. "And I will _deal with them_ at practice today!"

Both of the Cheerios gulped and turned to each other with chalk-white faces as they began walking away with guilty expressions on their faces. They didn't look as sorry for their words but there was dread in their eyes because they clearly knew what was coming.

"I'm going to enjoy Cheerio practice this evening."

"Are we going to tell Rachel what they said?"

Quinn nodded briefly.

"Yeah, she deserves to know why those two have 500 suicides this evening," Quinn said, the evil undertone in her voice growing as the wicked glint in her hazel eyes became visible and… God, that was such a sexy expression on her face.

"What if she decides to give them more?"

"I'll pat her back and encourage her. Now let's go find Rachel…"

"You really must be a whore, Berry!"

The voice was coming from around the corner and clearly belonged to Elisabeth. Brittany took off in a run towards the voice, just in time to see twins, Kiara and Leah Gallow standing in front of Rachel with sneers on their faces. Leah and Kiara were both wearing their Cheerio uniforms.

"Yeah, first you get yourself _knocked up_ and now you're fucking Satan!"

"You don't know what you're talking…" Rachel's correction was cut off completely by Elisabeth who put her hand up in a very rude gesture

"So… You're not pregnant?"

"No…"

"So you're not fucking Satan?"

Kiara smiled viscously as Rachel's tear-filled eyes turned to the ground as she realised she couldn't argue against that point either. And it made Brittany furious! She wanted to punch them both so hard in the face for making Rachel cry.

"I… I'm leaving. You better now follow me!"

Rachel turned to walk away but Leah grabbed Rachel's shoulder and turned her to face them with sneers on their faces. They both smirked as Rachel winced and went pale.

"Or what?" Kiara asked.

"Are you going to fuck us, too?"

Once again, Rachel attempted to walk away only to be stopped again by Kiara.

"Don't walk away, whore!"

"You better walk away right now!"

Everyone stopped moving when they heard Quinn's voice but it was her glare that hade Kiara and Leah about ready to wet their spankies.

"Quinn…" Kiara began looking into Quinn's eyes as though there was something she could say to make this better. "This isn't what it looks like!"

Quinn snorted and held her hand out for Rachel to take and as soon as the tiny diva was behind her, Brittany took her hands and gently rubbed circles onto the backs of her hand. As soon as Quinn was sure Brittany had things under conrol, she turned to the two Cheerios with a glare and shut their words down.

They got on her nerves anyway and everyone knew they were only on the team because they wanted scholarships to university and because Sue needed the numbers for competition.

"Oh! So… you weren't verbally assaulting Rachel… your squads Assistant Manager! Your _teammate!_"

"Oh well, we were just trying to stop Dyke Berry before she tried to fuck us too during practice today," Kiara said, causing Leah's jaw to drop as she stared at her sister flabbergasted that she would say that to the head Cheerio who was known to be friends with Rachel. Even Quinn's jaw dropped because she couldn't believe the stupidity that was Kiara.

"Oh… Well, I guess you won't be worrying about her today," Quinn said wickedly once she recovered from the shock of Kiara's words.

Both girls looked relieved and Brittany knew that tone well enough to know she was going to be hitting them hard.

"I will be dealing with you two _personally_… We're going to have so much _fun._"

The girls both went white as they possibly could before they looked into Quinn's eyes and seen just how screwed they really were.

"And make it known that if anyone else decides to speak out against Rachel and Santana that they will get the same treatment. I will not tolerate these words or actions. If you have a problem with Rachel and Santana then get the hell off my squad because I don't want your attitude stinking up the gym during practice! Now get the fuck away from me before I start your punishment now!"

Leah and Kiara both tore down the hallway as fast as their feet could carry them and it was all Quinn could do to keep herself from laughing at the sight before her.

"Nice going, stupid!"

"Me? This was your idea!"

"You went along with it!"

"Shit, I think I hear her behind us!"

"Run, bitch, run!"

She turned back to where Brittany and Rachel were standing and found that Rachel looked fairly calm and only a little bit shook up.

She had taken off her varsity jacket and Quinn could see a little bit of a baby bump. It wasn't completely obvious and to anyone who didn't know she was pregnant, it might just appear as though she had gained a little weight but everyone in the school knew, so everyone knew what the bump was.

Thankfully, this was the first time anyone had dared approached Rachel about her pregnancy in a negative way. A couple of the Cheerios had asked her if she was okay to be carrying some of the equipment in 'her condition' but they appeared more concerned about keeping her from doing something that might cause her to fall ill in front of them.

Quinn smiled softly at Rachel who was resting her hand over her belly while holding onto Brittany's hand.

Rachel was now in the second trimester of her pregnancy and she was completely thrilled to be over the hateful morning sickness but now she was developing some interesting cravings. The other morning, she had shown up to the cafe for breakfast and ordered a hotdog with whipped cream and strawberry sauce. The waitress stared for a few seconds before shrugging a making the hotdog but they had trouble ringing in extra whipped topping and strawberry sauce to the hotdog.

Rachel devoured it and Santana did a good job only looking mildly grossed out as she watched her eat it. It made Quinn wonder what kind of things the diva ate when they were at home. She knew that Santana had been buying pickles and pepperoni in bulk.

Of course, she couldn't judge. She went through her thing with bacon which must be common in pregnancies because Rachel appeared to be craving bacon almost all the time.

Also, Rachel was beginning to become a little more independent and she was able to be away from Santana for longer and though they had yet to try separating at night, Quinn could tell she wasn't as jumpy and nervous anymore.

"Rachel?"

Brittany smiled at Rachel as she spoke and looked into her eyes so she could see just how Rachel was doing.

"Britt?"

"Right here. Do you still want to talk? Where's Tana?"

"Detention. Someone called me a dyke in class earlier and she cursed her nine ways to Hell and back," Rachel replied with a blush and a grin on her face that told Quinn and Brittany what she thought about the watching Santana yell and scream.

"Oh. Do you wanna wait?"

"I'm good, Britt. I need to be able to do things without Santana sometimes. She can't be around 24/7 and it's important that I be able to do things on my own sometimes. Let's go," Rachel said gently and as let Brittany guide her to the Choir room.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"Brittany, calm down and tell me what's wrong."

Rachel watched as Brittany paced the choir room floor nervously as though she was trying to figure out what to say or as if she was scared to say it. Finally, she got up and took her best friend's hands and looked into her eyes.

"You'll be sad."

"That's okay, Brittany," Rachel said softly.

"It'll make you mad."

"I promise, I'll hear you out. You're my friend, Britt and have been for a long time. Even if I get mad, I would never stay mad. Please, tell me what's wrong," Rachel said speaking gently while she looked into Brittany's eyes so the sincerity would be visible.

"It was Finn?"

"Finn?"

"The one who… r-raped me…"

Rachel gasped when she processed Brittany's words but she made sure to not let go of Brittnay's hands, even as tears began falling down her face and her gaze fell to the ground.

"He said he would kill you and lord Tubbington… And anyone else I told! Rachel! I tried telling you I didn't like him but…"

"Oh god! I just told you to give him a chance! Oh, Britt! I… I'm so _sorry!_"

Rachel pulled Brittany into her arms and soon they were both sobbing.

Rachel felt like a monster. She had walked around with Finn in front of her how many times and hadn't realised Brittany was uncomfortable. What kind of friend was she? She should have realised something.

"I should have noticed something was wrong. Especially when I brought him around you! Oh, Britt! I'm so sorry!"

She could only imagine the torture Brittany went through when she would bring him to Glee and parade him around. At that time, she was showing off the fact that she was appealing to someone and that a popular person actually wanted to be around her and was willing to be seen with her. It had made her feel so confident to show him off whenever she could because he was popular and therefore she became more popular and the slushies stopped.

But now that she knew what Brittany had been going through, it made her feel utterly sick. At the time, she had felt guilty because she was using a boy she considered to be innocent for her own popularity and confidence. Now, she felt bad because she had been torturing her best friend every time she brought him around her.

"I should have tried harder!"

"And I should have listened, Britt!"

"Forgive me!"

"Only if you forgive me!"

"Deal!" Brittany hugged Rachel as tight as she could without squishing Rachel's belly.

"Hey, Quinn… How long until lunch is over?"

Quinn jumped at the sound of her name. She had been so busy watching the exchange that she had kind of drifted away mentally. She glanced at her watch and a sheepish look crossed her face.

"Erm… Lunch ended ten minutes ago."

"Britt, do you want to stay here and just cool down?"

"Sure, Rachel," Brittany said, her voice hoarse from crying.

"Okay, let me just text Tana and tell her what's going on so she doesn't freak out."

"Okay," Brittany sighed as she pulled Rachel and Quinn to her sides and kissed Quinn softly on the lips. She looked so relieved and so much more relaxed than Rachel had seen in a while.

After a while, Santana texted back and asked if Rachel was okay and she decided to be honest and told her she could use some cuddles.

"Rachel? Are you nervous? About the baby?"

Rachel frowned for a second; she looked at Brittany and nodded.

"Terrified! I know San says she's not going anywhere but I'm scared. I think I really want to keep the baby… not just through the pregnancy but afterwards. I'm scared she's going to get overwhelmed by the responsibility or _worse_, give up part of her own future for me," Rachel muttered sadly as pictures of Santana working an entry-level position instead of embracing her bright future began flooding her mind.

She didn't want to hold Santana back from becoming every bit as successful as she could be. She wanted Santana to be able to reach the stars and back if she wanted to and she was not going to be the one to hold her back from living whatever life she wanted to live and babies made a lot of dreams harder. It made school harder and they just made life, in general, a little more complicated, especially when you're young and confused.

She was certain they were going to have to repeat several credits in order to graduate which meant their graduation would most likely be delayed another year and she felt horrible for holding her back that much.

And there was a part of her that wondered if Santana would still want her when she was the size of a whale? And what about after the baby was born and she had bags under her eyes and a spit-up rag on her shoulder?

She was so nervous about the future and it was hard to get around her fear of Santana growing tired of her and not wanting her around.

"If she says she's going to stick around, then I believe her."

"I believe her but sometimes, I feel like I'm robbing her of normal teen experiences. She should be going to parties and having fun but instead, I have her home every night while I cry over her."

Brittany sighed lightly before she looked confidently at Rachel. "Santana doesn't like parties very much. She does those things because she wants to…"

Quinn nodded. "Santana has always been mature. She prefers a quiet night in over a party any time. Whenever she comes to a party, it's with us and we usually have to bribe her. A lot."

"What about when the baby comes? What will Santana be to them? I feel selfish for wanting to raise this baby with her; we're so young and we have a baby we clearly weren't planning for… It's not a problem you typically see with teen lesbians. Everyone is going to think I cheated on her."

"Rachie, you need to stop worrying about what others will think and focus on how you feel."

The room went silent as Rachel thought for a moment. When she finally spoke again, it was directly from the heart.

"I'm so in love with her and I don't want it to end. I love her."

"I love you, too Rachel."

The second Rachel's eyes fell on Santana in the doorway of the choir room, she ran into her girlfriend's waiting arms. Her warm scent caused a flurry of tingles to travel through her body as a face-splitting smile crossed her face. The much-needed hug spread warmth and love through her body and she couldn't help the smile that crossed her face as she felt kissed being planted on the top of her head.

"Rachel, I'm ready to deal with the ups, downs, the names, late-night cravings, midnight feedings… whatever. I love you, Rachel. I _love_ you!"

She took Rachel into her arms and held her as tightly as she could. It was a warm and loving embrace. The pair were so caught up in their moment that they failed to notice Brittany and Quinn slipping out of the room to give them some privacy.

"I love you too…"

"I hear a but coming."

"Could you hug me a little looser… My boobs feel like they are about to explode right now."

They were throbbing violently as Santana hugged her and the tighter the hug got, the more painful it became.

But instantly, the hug ended and Santana rested her hands on Rachel's shoulders so she could look into her eyes.

Of course, she was panicking now.

"Are you okay?"

"They're just a little tender."

After several seconds, Santana smiled before a serious look crossed her face.

"So… You're keeping the baby?"

"I am."

Rachel held her voice firm and steady so she sounded sure but she was eyeing Santana to see how this was going to be taken. Was Santana going to be upset? Regardless, she wanted to make it clear that she was confident about her choice and that she was going to stand by it.

But a soft kiss on her forehead worked well at easing her worries and fears. It was a confirmation in her mind that Santana really wasn't going anywhere.

"We'll figure out the rest as we go."

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

Santana Lopez loved simple moments.

She loved watching the sunset, laying in clean sheets after a hot shower, rubbing her bare feet on her carpet and taking the first bite of ice cream out of a freshly opened tub.

But there was nothing that compared to the pure bliss she was experiencing as she cuddled Rachel to her bare chest as Rachel breathed softly in and out. Her eyes were shut softly and the grin on her face made it clear she was still in bliss.

Sex wasn't an everyday occurrence for them but when they did have sex, they made it count and of course, that night had been no exception.

Santana loved how comfortable Rachel was with intimacy and she enjoyed pleasuring Rachel whenever she could. She enjoyed the look on her face as she pushed her over the edge and the pride of knowing it was _her fingers_ doing that to her.

But tonight, she was looked at her belly as Rachel softly breathed up and down… Her breathing finally evened out from their activities a few moments ago. She was in her own cloud of bliss because it was moments like this where she could practically feel Rachel's love pouring off of her in waves and it was beautiful. It was wonderful.

She gently caressed Rachel's belly with her hand while humming softly.

"So… We're keeping you. You know, you're very lucky," Santana said as she made her way down so she could whisper softly to Rachel's belly. "Rachel will be a great mum to you. You're probably wondering how I know that, right?"

She paused for a second as though the unborn fetus was going to respond and after a few seconds of predicted silence, Santana smiled softly at the bump and began caressed it sweetly.

"I know this because she is the kindest, most loving and most caring person I have ever met and it won't matter the nightmare that brought you to us… She will love you uncondionally."

She placed a gentle kiss on the bump before sighing softly.

"And so will I. I want to be your mami. I know your mum thinks I'm going to back away when it gets too much but I won't. I _want_ to raise you with her. When we're stressed, when we haven't slept in weeks and you're still screaming like a banshee. I'm going to marry her and I promise to treat you as nothing less than my own flesh and blood."

With another kiss to the baby bump, she climbed up Rachel's body, unaware that Rachel had been awake and listening to every word she was saying.

And both girls were unaware of the person standing outside of her room listening to the conversation with tears in his eyes as he realised just how mature his daughter had become.

In the morning, when Santana woke up, it wasn't to her alarm clock but soft kisses up and down her neck and hands roaming up and down her backside.

It was completely her favourite way to wake up in the morning. So much better than an alarm. In fact, just the day before Rachel had wakened her up by rubbing her thumb along her...

"San… There's something on your neck."

"Oh, your lips, right?"

Rachel pulled away and looked into Santana's eyes with concern and worry.

"No San… It's a lump."

**Another chapter! Oh, what a crazy past few weeks it has been. I've been crozy busy and working really hard. **

**I'm sorry about the cliff hanger but it will be worth it, I promise. After the next chapter will be a Christmas chapter (I know its not Christmas but based on my calculations for the timeline of the story… It's about Christmas time…)**


	15. Surgery

**Chapter 15**

**Can you believe we're at Chapter fifteen already? I know everyone was worried about the cliffhanger but here is the next chapter. **

**This chapter is a whole lot of fluff.**

**Warnings: Implied sexual acts between two women **

**Chapter Rating: T**

**Notes: I am not a doctor but this is something I have seen happen before in regards to Santana's condition. As for the relationship between the four girls… it is kind of writing itself and I want your opinion on where I should go with that because I could honestly go either way with that relationship and be content.**

**Top Reviewers: O-UnSuRe-0, Auntdedra, Raebear98, xriveranaya, Gwennie49: Thank you so much for your reviews. I love hearing such positive reviews. I love hearing your opinions and they help me to form my story and make it better. **

**Triggers: None **

If was sufficient to say that the discovery of a lump on Santana's throat killed the mood, amped up Rachel's anxiety and lead to a sleepless night that resulted in a doctor's visit the following morning just to put Rachel's mind at ease because nothing else seemed to comfort her.

She had spent the better part of the night panicking and Santana agreed to go to the doctor when Rachel broke down and began crying. Her pregnancy hormones were all over the place and she was stressed out easily, so naturally, something like a mystery lump on her girlfriend's throat, though not significant to Santana, was a massive deal to Rachel.

So, after a trip to the doctor, a biopsy later it was determined that Santana had a cyst on her neck but the removal was going to be a lot more complicated because of its location.

The cyst had formed on her pulse point and it had to be removed under close supervision of a surgical team and she would have to spend the night in hospital for observation which wasn't bad until you took into consideration that Rachel was not allowed to spend the night with Santana and both Santana's and her own fathers were in agreement that Rachel needed to stay away from the hospital because of all the germs present.

Santana's father had explained that with her pregnancy, she was considered vulnerable against infection, germs and illness because of her low iron levels, despite the copious amounts of meat she had been consuming.

"Bacon is not a reliable source of iron, Rachel."

So now, two weeks since the discovery of the lump, Santana was sitting in her bed eating the last thing she was allowed to consume for the night. After ten o'clock, she was going to have to fast and she was pissed about not being able to simply drink water.

But she was going out of her way to hide her anxiety over the surgery from Rachel; her girlfriend was already stressed enough with the pregnancy and the fact that she would have to spend the night without Santana for the first time since… the incident… And unlike their last (forced) attempt, she would not be able to call her and ask her to rush to her side if she needed to. The only reason she was going at all was that the doctor had said it was growing alarmingly fast and though the cyst itself had no harmful properties, its location was dangerous because it could potentially interfere with her circulation.

"I wish I could go with you and make sure you're okay," Rachel began to gently rub Santana's shoulders. Her anxiety was making her restless and so far she had given Santana three shoulder rubs, cleaned her room, cooked her meals and whispered soothing words in her ears… All while Santana worked to calm her down, without much success.

Until, of course, she finally laid Rachel on the bed and found a rather enjoyable way to bring her to a far more relaxed state. So now, Rachel sitting behind Santana while she ate and rubbed her shoulders, both naked as the day they were born and wearing satisfied, relaxed and loopy grins on their faces as Rachel's breathing evened out. She had given up on returning the favour because Santana was pretty set on focusing strictly on Rachel only today.

"I know but I don't want to risk you getting sick," Santana explained as she turned around so she could press her lips to Rachel's while she rubbed her hands up and down her bareback. "We both know I'm only staying because of the location of the cyst. I'll call you as soon as I know how it went. Everything will be fine."

"I'll miss you," Rachel muttered as Santana began placing soft kisses down the front of her throat.

"Just wait until you see the mountain of bacon Britt and Quinn are bringing to your place tomorrow night," Santana said gently as she reached the valley between Rachel's breasts. She was prepared to calm Rachel like this all night if she had to, after all, it calmed her down so much to see the looks on her face as she came undone and the looks she gave her afterwards were beautiful. They were so full of trust, love, longing and she always looked so sated. She loved she could make Rachel feel so good and relaxed at the same time.

And when she worked her magic with Rachel, it only took a few movements with her thighs to bring herself over the edge because hearing Rachel mewl and moan was enough to turn her on and by the time she had Rachel over the edge, she was ready to explode without even touching herself.

"Mm, are you going to be okay tomorrow?"

"I will but… I'll be worried about you and _el pequeño bebe,_" Santana purred as she placed a kiss on Rachel's belly, still finding it weird to watch as Rachel's belly grew more and more every day. Rachel was only just entering her second trimester but still, when she was naked, there was a noticeable difference. She smiled and placed another kiss on the belly, only this time, Rachel jumped slightly.

"Oh my _god!"_

"Mm, you like that…" Santana leaned in to kiss the same spot again but she found a hand blocking her. Sure enough, Rachel was holding her stomach with the most awestruck look on her face as she rubbed at her belly happily.

"No…"

"No?" Santana responded, worrying about causing a trigger for her poor girlfriend. She knew Rachel still had times when she couldn't be touched a certain way or was feeling really nervous and needed to be in control of the intimacy.

"No, San! I… I felt something!" Rachel said, looking into Santana's eyes as she put her hand over her belly with a confused look on her face.

"Um… I… That's a good thing, right?"

"It feels like… a butterfly! Do it again, San!" Rachel said, moving her hand so Santana could access her bare belly again and began watching with anticipation in her eyes. Santana grinned and placed a gentle kiss on Rachel's belly.

"Oh god! It's like butterflies! It… tickles!"

"So… I give you butterflies?"

"No… Well, yes but… San… I think its the baby!"

Santana smiled until she finally clues into what Rachel was saying, Rachel was feeling the baby move! The baby was moving!

Her heart filled with such pride when she thought about the way the baby moved when _she _kissed Rachel's belly! It was almost as though the baby had moved _just for her_!

"The baby?" She couldn't help but gasp out the words as she put her own hands on Rachel's belly and looked into her eyes. The emotions that passed through her body were intense. There was joy, pride, excitement and for a moment, that was all she could think about!

"There they go again! Oh god! It feels like little bugs crawling around there! Drunk bugs!"

"Hello, baby! Hi! It's Mami… I… erm… I…"

When Santana's eyes met Rachel's she found wide, tear-filled eyes as a smile grew wider and wider across her face as she looked into Santana's eyes with so much love and adorations in her eyes again but this time, there was raw emotion.

"Tana… Do you want the baby to call you mami?"

Santana took a deep breath and decided to be honest.

"I do, Rachel. In the beginning, I was hesitant but I'm not going anywhere and I want to be there for you _and_ this baby."

The look on Rachel's face was conflicted.

"Once the baby sees you as mami…"

"Rachel, I meant it when I said 'I'm here for the long haul.' I'm not going anywhere, Rachel," Santana promised as she kissed Rachel's belly again. "I am not leaving, Rachel."

"Okay… Hi baby! It's your mum! And your mami is with me!" Upon hearing Rachel call her mami, her eyes filled with tears and the smile that grew on her face was huge! It was the biggest smile she had ever felt on her face and she wondered if it was possible for her face to actually split in half because she was grinning so wide.

"Hello, baby! I can't wait to meet you! I'm going to take care of you and your mum, okay?"

Santana felt tears rolling down her cheeks as she rubbed Rachel's belly, wishing she could feel what Rachel was feeling. She could almost feel something but she wasn't sure it was an actual movement or if the baby was actually moving!

"Oh my gosh! This feels so weird!"

"I wish I could stay home with you!"

"I know. But we need to take care of you, too," Rachel whispered as she moved the hair from Santana's face and kissed her forehead lightly and the latina blushed as she always did when Rachel spoke about taking care of her needs instead of Rachel's. But she was right! They had to look after her, too. She couldn't take care of Rachel and the little butterfly if she wasn't well enough and that was one of her top priorities. She didn't care if she had to repeat the senior year over but she wanted to learn as much as she could so if she did have to repeat it, she didn't have to kill herself studying the following year.

"Let's go to sleep, San. I just want to lie here and see if they're going to move again," Rachel whispered, earning a loving kiss from Santana.

"Are you sure you don't want me to finish what I started?"

The way Rachel's pupils dilated was a clear answer but she didn't make a move until she actually got a nod from the diva… And then she proceeded to continue her journey down Rachel's naked body, not really caring that she was breaking the 'no eating' rule because the way Rachel withered under her made it worth it.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"Okay, I put Bobby Bunny in your bag, Rachel."

When her girlfriend squirmed uncomfortably, she stopped her movements and cupped Rachel's face gently to question why Rachel was nervous. She had a feeling that it didn't have much to do with her surgery. Rachel was nervous about that but they both knew it was a simple procedure and that she was only staying overnight because of its location.

"What if they think I'm juvenile for needing a stuffed animal to sleep?"

This was a recent development. Rachel was becoming insecure about being as vulnerable as she was and she tended to worry whenever she needed something. Santana knew it was mainly her trying to get back to her original level of independence because she still seemed convinced that she was troublesome and becoming too much work.

Also, she seemed to be working harder to be tough and appear as though things that bothered her didn't. She was starting to feel weak and the only people she didn't mind being fully vulnerable around were Santana and her fathers. She didn't try as hard to be strong around Quinn and Brittany but there was still a front she put up around them… But Quinn and Brittany both saw around it and had taken Santana aside to ask about it. All Santana had been able to do was shrug.

"They won't and if they do… I'll make 'em wish they were never born," Santana said with a grin on her face as she gently kissed around Rachel's cheeks. "I rake 'em across the coals."

When Rachel was nervous, she tended to fixate among other things that made her feel vulnerable and because she was trying to force Santana's surgery from her mind, she ended up fixating on other stupid things.

Quinn and Brittany both knew about Bobby… Even Kurt and Mercedes knew about him and hadn't said anything teasing to her. The sleepovers recently have involved Bobby because she would go to sleep on her own with her friends and sometime during the night, Santana would crawl onto the sofa bed with her and spoon her.

Rachel's nightmares had become predictable enough that Santana could time when she was about to have one and get down there in time to keep her from actually entering into the nightmare or at worst, be there to wake her. But this involved Bobby being there to help her actually get to sleep.

"San…"

"I love you."

"I love you, too, San," Rachel purred into Santana's chest.

"Do you want me to… distract… you again?"

Rachel chuckled as she remembered the 'distraction' Santana had given her when they woke up. It had been wonderful but…

"We don't have time, San."

"Okay, now if you can't sleep tonight?"

"I'll cuddle Britt and Quinn," Rachel supplied with a smile, knowing this had been discussed among the unholy trinity… They weren't sure just how effective it would be but they all agreed it was better than her fathers attempting to cuddle her in the wake of one of her nightmares. Or having her sleep alone after a nightmare, feeling vulnerable and exposed.

Rachel was much better than she was in the beginning and she was showing more physical affection to the men but they did not want to try it when she was already having a nightmare.

"Yes but please keep your clothes on," Santana joked.

"Well, that won't be a problem," Rachel drawled out with a grin as she kissed Santana's cheek. "Because you're the only one I want to get naked with."

"Are you sure you don't want me to come tonight? I can be there… I _should_ be there," Rachel said with a frown.

"No, I don't want you to see me like that and I don't want you worrying. I want you to spend the day not thinking about this. It's not serious, especially enough to risk your health exposing you to all the germs. Dad says that your pregnancy makes you vulnerable to infection and your stress levels if you're there, could make you sick. You'll see me tomorrow, I promise," Santana spoke softly as she kissed Rachel's cheek a couple more times.

"I'll call you tonight before bed," Rachel promised as she looked at her girlfriend's neck before allowing her gaze to meet her eyes and as usual, she found love; it was almost enough to cloud over the latina's nerves and anxiety about what was to come. "Now… Please, kiss me!"

"Yes ma'am," Santana chuckled taking her girlfriend closer and placing a kiss on her kips. Soon enough, they had their chests pressed together closely as their tongues explored each other's mouths and their hands roamed up and down their backs as they went from sweet, gentle kisses to a full-blown make-out session in the middle of the foyer.

Rachel moaned as she felt Santana's hands up her top, rubbing up and down her back. God, that felt so good. It was almost criminal how good it felt. She just needed to find a surface for them to lay on so they could…

"We're here!"

Murder Quinn Fabray.

"Today's going to be so much fun, Rachie! Come on, let's go put your stuff in Quinnie's car!" Brittany said excitedly as she pulled Rachel to her feet, ignoring the flushed look on both of their faces. Quinn had the decency to shrug apologetically but that was all she could do because she knew Santana had to leave for the hospital soon.

"Watch my girl, Fabray."

"You already warned me. If it gets too bad, I'll call you," Quinn promised, knowing Santana was really nervous about leaving Rachel for the entire night but it was beyond her control. Her father said he would only allow her home that night if he could be home to watch her but he was performing a heart transplant and could not leave the patient for thirty-six hours. Once the surgery was done, she would not be able to leave the hospital until her father picked her up and drove her straight to Rachel's house.

He had tried to convince her to come home on her own to recover but she flat out refused and he understood, so he agreed under the condition that one of the Berry men be at to keep an eye on her to make sure she was okay. The men had agreed to both be home and that was enough to settle him but he was clear that Santana was to rest.

"I'm trusting you, Q."

"I won't betray that," Quinn promised solemnly as she listened to Brittany's excited chatter and Rachel's nervous giggles. "She'll be safe with us. We'll take care of her, San. You worry about yourself tonight."

"I'll be home tomorrow as soon as I can. She has my bunny, chamomile tea soothes her when she's anxious and so does rubbing her temples," Santana began ticking off the things she knows help calm Rachel aside from naked cuddling and this trick she does with her tongue… A trick that she would _murder_ Quinn for even trying.

"Okay," Quinn replied, pretending she hadn't already heard this list five times earlier.

"Oh and a warm bath helps her sleep…"

"So, am I in charge of her nappies too, or is she fully trained?" Quinn replied sarcastically in an attempt to lighten the mood and hopefully communicate that she had everything under control.

"I'mma kick your ass, Fabray," Santana replied but she replied with a laugh.

"It'd scare them," Quinn teased as she pointed to their girlfriends who were walking hesitantly back into the room.

"You're lucky."

"Good luck, San."

When Quinn wrapped her into a hug, Santana melted into it. It wasn't quite like holding Rachel but it was still very nice to hold her friend and take comfort in the embrace as she had when they were young. Back when their biggest problems were Santana's braces or Quinn's glasses getting them teased. Back when they only had to worry about playing and getting inside before the streetlights came on.

Now, they had girlfriends and actual problems and worries. Both of their girlfriends were recovering from the unimaginable and they were both doing their best to deal with that and as much as they loved their girlfriends and would do anything for them, it was a difficult journey. It was nice to have a moment like this where they could silently communicate that they had each other's backs and that they would help each other however they could.

"Do Rachel's dads know we're coming?"

"Yeah. We ran this plan by them three days ago. They both agree, if anything, that would be best if there was a female in the house for if Rachel has a panic attack. She's a lot better but I think they're a little traumatised from their first night back," Santana explained. "Honestly, they have been bracing for the worst… It's not that they don't trust you… You're just…"

"I'm not you."

"I just have different things I do and I think she's comforted by my scent and my voice."

"Santana, I promise, I will take care of her. I will do my very best," Quinn promised as she hugged her best friend again as Rachel made her way over to Santana.

Santana looked over at Rachel and opened her arms to embrace her. She didn't complain, even though Rachel knocked the wind out of her or that her nervous embrace was just a little too tight because she knew Rachel was nervous. It was breaking her heart to have to leave like this but she had to. There might never be a right time, so it was best to do it now instead of waiting for it to cause genuine circulation problems.

"I love you, San. You call me as soon as you're awake enough to call me."

"I will, Rach. I love you, too."

Dropping Santana at the hospital was a tear-filled event and it was so hard to separate her from Rachel but they both knew they had to. They all agreed it was best for Rachel not to be exposed to all those germs.

When they left the parking lot, Rachel curled into Brittany's arms and sobbed while Quinn drove away, releasing her anxiety over Santana's operation and her sadness over not being able to stay with her, despite understanding why she couldn't, for the first time into Brittany's shoulder. Brittany simply rubbed her back as she sobbed it out.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"I'm keeping the baby… After they're born."

"You are?"

Quinn sounded hesitant, as though she was unsure how to react to this. She clearly remembered the conversation she had had with Rachel about this and was checking to make sure.

"San and I talked about it. I know how she feels and she knows how I feel… I want to raise them and she wants to be a part of that," Rachel explained with a small grin on her face. Was she nervous to raise a child? Yes. But was she sure this was what she wanted… Mostly.

"Well, I'm happy for you. I'm here if you ever need to talk," Quinn said softly.

"How did you decide?"

Quinn was thoughtful for a moment as she tried to come up with the best answer. Brittany took her hand and squeezed it before Quinn finally gave Rachel a contemplative look.

"I looked at where I was living, who was there to support me, the environment I would be bringing the baby back to and where I was emotionally and I realised, I had Mercedes and Puck… My own parents weren't talking to me and I had no source of income and I was living in someone else's basement. It just wasn't something that would have worked. But Rachel, you have your fathers, Santana, Brittany, me, Puck, the entire Glee club… You have so many people and you have your house and Santana's. So you have support, shelter, love… You'll be fine in that regard," Quinn explained gently.

"Do you regret not keeping her now?"

"Yes and no. I know she's better off with Shelby but sometimes, I feel like there's something missing. She's my baby, even if I'm not raising her. I gave birth to her and there's a part of me that will always miss her but when I had her, I was unable to provide what she needed to flourish. It was a hard choice but I had no choice really. So… Who wants BreadstiX?"

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"... And then dad made daddy eat the worm!"

"Why?" Brittany asked looking kind of repulsed.

"Well, I refused to feed the fish anything a person couldn't eat, so Daddy at the worm," Rachel explained. She was explained about the one time her fathers had decided they wanted to be outdoorsy… They had three major problems of course.

Hiram hated nature.

LeRoy hated nature.

Rachel hated that they wouldn't let her climb the trees or do flips off the rocks. The Berry men would have been happy to lay in the tent and do nothing but Rachel was four and she just wanted to run around, play, look at bugs and climb over everything that didn't move. She was rambunctious. It was one of the reasons she got along so well with Brittany. They were both always moving around, jumping from one thing to another without any real system.

Brittany always liked to say Rachel had ADHD too but she had never been tested.

"How'd that go?"

"Well, Quinn… He did us proud and only gagged once," Rachel chuckled proudly as she remembered the look on his face. It was one of her clear childhood memories.

"Rachel? Brittany?"

Upon hearing their names, both girls looked up into the tear-filled eyes of Carol Hudson.

Since the last time Rachel had seen her she had lost a lot of weight, her face was pale and she had bags under her eyes which weren't lit up like they usually got when she saw Rachel.

Carol's eyes always tended to light up when she saw Rachel and now, her eyes were filled with guilt, shame, worry and regret. She looked like she was ready to start sobbing and her eyes were distant, as though her mind was a million places at once.

"Carol?"

"What do _you_ want?" Quinn glared up at the woman briefly the second she saw how pale Brittany and Rachel had both gone. Rachel put a hand on Quinn's shoulder, knowing Quinn was upset because they were visibly upset. However, Rachel didn't know if Quinn's anger was justified because she wasn't sure what the woman wanted and unlike Finn's father, she didn't look ready to tell them off or accuse them of lying.

"I'm sorry… I just wanted to… Well, I saw you and… I'm so sorry! I had it all planned out what I was going to say to you two if I ever had the chance but it sounds stupid now. Nothing I say can ever make up for what my 'son' has done… For how I failed as a mother. Nothing will heal your wounds or clear your scars," Carol sobbed sadly as she struggled with her words. It was clear this was something she had been thinking about for a while but all Rachel could think to say was…

"You aren't a failure. He made his choice to hurt us… Not you. You were always amazing when I was over," Brittany said gently as she took Rachel's hand in hers before meeting Carol's eyes to see the emotions rushing around. Rachel smiled at Brittany, who had taken the words right out of her mouth but they always seemed to be on the same wavelength, so it didn't shock her at all. In fact, she loved it.

"Brittany…"

"She's right, Carol," Rachel started, with a firm nod. "Finn acted out his own way. You did nothing wrong. You did your best to teach him right from wrong… From there, his actions are just that… _his actions._ We can't forgive you because there's nothing to forgive."

"So stop being mean to yourself," Brittany finished firmly as she looked into Carol's eyes, not willing to hear any more arguments from the woman about this. She knew she was right and she wasn't going to let Carol beat herself up for her son's actions.

"You girls are so mature… So beyond your years. Your parents must be so proud," Carol sighed as she wiped her eyes off.

"They are," Rachel said as she placed a hand on Brittany's shoulder who took advantage of the contact and pulled Rachel in for a gentle hug. Since _the incident_, Brittany's hugs have been more gentle but they hadn't changed much. They were still full of so much emotion. Brittany had this way about her, when she hugged, you could just feel her happiness and joy, despite the anxiety she held in her eyes.

The anxiety that Rachel had overlooked for so long.

It was a real gift Brittany had, almost like her dancing.

"Well, I should go. Take care."

They watched as the woman dashed away, clearly relieved to have a reason to leave behind the awkward and nervous conversation.

Rachel hugged Brittany tighter until they both felt a hand rest on their shoulders.

They both looked up to find Quinn standing beside them, her eyes wide with worry.

"Are you okay, Britt?"

"I don't know… How's the baby?"

Rachel smiled at Brittany's question and chuckled when she felt a slight flutter from her belly. It was as if the baby knew they were being acknowledged and wanted to be included in the conversation.

"Fine… The baby's moving as we speak."

She placed her hand over her belly as she spoke. Brittany's eyes went wide as saucers while Quinn's eyes filled with curiosity.

"You can feel the _baby!_"

Brittany's excitement was impossible to miss. Her eyes were wide and she was staring at Rachel's belly as if it was holding the secrets of the universe.

"Yeah but it feels kind of creepy…"

"Like bugs," Quinn supplied, earning a nod from Rachel who was still holding her belly because the sensation had yet to stop. She was getting used to it but it was still a weird feeling.

"Yes!" Rachel cried, as she once again resisted to urge to lift her shirt and check for actual bugs.

"The first time I felt Beth move, I thought I was losing it. I reached down to flick the bug away and it didn't work…" Quinn's smiled at the memory as she unconsciously rubbed at her belly.

"The baby moved last night while Santana was kissing my belly… It's as if they knew she was there."

"Aww…"

"She kisses your belly! That's adorable!"

Rachel blushed as she thought about how intentive Santana was and how much she loved feeling Santana touching her belly. And when she spoke to the baby, it made her feel… there were so many emotions but all of them were brilliant.

But it also made her feel confused sometimes and conflicted because, despite Santana's words, she still felt like she was holding her back from her future. It was clear Santana was aware of her worries and fears and made every attempt to make it clear she was where she wanted to be but it was hard to put her worries at bay.

Rachel's cell phone went off, interrupting Rachel's thoughts. Upon seeing Santana's father's name on her display, she practically threw her phone across the room in her attempt to answer the call as quickly as possible.

"Hello, Mr Lopez… She is… That's great! Thank you! Yes, I will take care of her tomorrow… Okay, thank you."

It was incredible how one conversation could life her mood entirely and make her feel as though she was on top of the world!

Santana had gotten out of surgery and was in recovery; she was doing fine and already asking to go home. When she relayed the information to Quinn and Brittany, they both laughed but hugged the smiling diva.

Santana was fine! She was going to be fine!

It was everything she wanted to hear all day long and finally, the weight was gone from her shoulders.

"Okay, so now, let's head to Rachel's and work on a card for Santana," Brittany suggested with a smile as she pointed to the Dollarama.

"I can make flowers for the front of the card."

Rachel knew the kinds of flower Santana loved and she could easily make them from paper.

Within minutes, they had the stuff to make a card and Quinn was at the table writing a message in the card while Brittany made a cheerful envelope. When they finished, they had a massive card with beautiful blue and yellow flowers and a generic but beautiful poem in the middle. The envelope was covered in ducks holding umbrellas and big smiley faces.

The girls looked at their creation proudly, each making a point to take a picture of the card and a picture of Rachel's face which managed to get covered in glitter.

The rest of the evening was spent watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire and eating enough bacon to feed an entire army.

As the sun went down, Rachel began squirming more and more. It was around seven o'clock when Quinn wrapped an arm around her shoulder and asked what was wrong.

"I haven't sent the night away from Santana since… Well, since my dads came home and that was a disaster. I'm nervous."

The silence in the room was deafening for a second before Rachel found herself in a tight embrace.

"We'll do our best to make sure you're okay. Santana gave us instructions."

"I don't want to keep you up all night."

"If you do, that's fine."

"Yeah, Rachie, we want to help you."

Brittany wrapped her arms around her girlfriend and her best friend, snuggling down close enough to get both of their scents.

"Do you want to take your bath now?"

Upon getting an affirmative, Quinn guided Rachel upstairs and set her up.

"I can prepare a bath for myself, Quinn."

All Quinn did was bat her hand away.

"Santana told me to take care of you, I'm taking care of you," Quinn said as she worked at bringing the tub to a mess of bubbles and foam. Once the tub was full, she reluctantly left.

Once Rachel's bath was finished, she crawled into her bed between Brittany and Quinn. She grabbed her cell phone and called Santana's cell number.

The call was picked up after the third ring.

"Hey, San," Rachel yawned, her body feeling drained from the day and her exhaustion was beginning to take over.

"Hey, Rachel, how are you?"

"I miss you."

"Where are Quinn and Britt?"

Rachel looked at the two blondes and found Brittany was asleep but Quinn was laying there watching Rachel dutifully.

"There beside me. Britt's asleep but Quinn is just laying here listening," Rachel said, listening as Santana sighed contently.

"I miss you, too, Mi Estrella."

"How are you feeling?"

"I feel fine, I don't see why these idiots insist on keeping me here. If I was going to bleed out, I would have done so by now," Santana grumbled before she gave a light sigh. "I would rather be in bed with you, cuddling instead of the nurse's blood pressure monitor."

"Awe, I wish you were here, too. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, the baby moved again and now I'm…" The yawn that ripped through her body startled her enough that she briefly stopped nodding off… Only briefly.

"You're falling asleep."

"I wanna hear your voice."

"I'll stay on the line until you fall asleep… Now, let me tell you about what these bitches did to my hair…"

Quinn grabbed the phone when it slipped out of Rachel's hand as she finally fell off to sleep. The second the phone was gone, she curled into Brittany's side. Brittany's eyes opened for half a second before she wrapped an arm around Rachel and fell back to sleep.

"Santana, she's asleep."

"Good, how did today go?"

"We ran into Carol Hudson…"

"What? What did she say? Is Rachel okay? Britt?"

"They're fine. She apologised. She seemed lost for words. But she seemed to be really upset about _his_ actions. Rachel and Brittany have been fine, though. But I'll keep an ear out throughout the night."

"Thank you, Quinn. For everything."

"No problem. Now, your my friend and all but I'm going to get some sleep. See you in the morning?"

"Yeah, even if I gotta rip this damn IV out for myself," Santana chuckled. Quinn grinned sleepily as she hung up and wrapped her arms around Rachel and Brittany… Hopefully, it would be enough to keep the nightmares away.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

Quinn woke up to Rachel tensing in her arms and tears rolling down her cheeks as she began tossing and turning. She sat up as Brittany did and they both exchanged a nervous glance.

She knew this was going to most likely happen but it was still nervewracking.

"Rachel? Rachel? Come on, wake up, it's just a dream," Quinn whispered, removing herself from Rachel and hoping Brittany's touch wouldn't trigger her because Rachel herself was gripping onto Brittany.

After a few moments, Rachel's eyes opened and she glanced around the room confused and dazed. Quinn walked across the room and grabbed Santana's bunny from the bag and placed it into Rachel's grip. The diva, barely awake, loosened her grip on Brittany a little but still held her close but now, she was cuddling both Bobby and Brittany.

"San?"

"She's at the hospital, Rachel."

"But the monkey's in the fridge," Rachel sighed in a sleep-induced panic as she nuzzled back against Brittany and fell back asleep, leaving Quinn confused as hell about what had just happened.

Soon enough, they were all asleep again and Quinn was once again cuddling both girls close to her chest.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"They're still asleep, Santana. You can head up. You know the way," Hiram said as Santana's father walked her into the house and nodded at the men as they took Santana's antibiotics and pain medication.

Santana simply nodded before making her way up the stairs. Her neck hurt and she was tired because she had had trouble sleeping with the nurses checking in on her every five minutes. She just wanted to go upstairs and cuddle her girl and Quinn and Britt.

When she reached Rachel's room, she smiled briefly at the sight before her. Rachel was cuddling her bunny but she was spooning Brittany while Quinn spooned her. Three of them looked so comfortable and peaceful. Santana grinned as she gently nudged Quinn to move over so she could get in between her and Rachel.

Quinn opened her mouth to say something but she just shook her head and nudged her head towards Brittany and Rachel… She didn't want to wake them unless she had to. She thought it would be a nice surprise for Rachel to wake up with Santana's arms around her.

As soon as they were situated, Quinn and Santana both quickly fell back asleep and soon enough, the four girls were spooning peacefully once again.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

The sun woke Rachel up. It must have been around nine o'clock. She was holding onto Brittany's sleeping form with Bobby Bunny pressed against her face. She could feel a pair of arms wrapped around her from behind and she felt so peaceful with the head nuzzling her neck from behind. When a hand moved up to a more personal area of her chest, she began to gently move it, under the impression that Quinn's sleeping mind thought she was Britt but instead of a pale arm, she found a tan, almost caramel colour arm…

Rachel released Brittany and turned to find Santana sleepily grinning at her.

"San!"

"Good morning, Mi Estrella!"

"San!"

This time Rachel captured Santana's lips in a brief but wonderful kiss which Santana did not object. Rachel smiled brilliantly as she wrapped her arms around her girlfriend's waist and snuggled as close as she could. She took note of Santana's bandage with a frown as she tenderly kissed Santana's cheek. She could hear Quinn chuckling lightly from her spot behind Santana as she spooned her. Brittany, turned in her sleep so that she was spooning Rachel from behind. Rachel felt amazing, surrounded by Santana, Quinn and Brittany. This was an arrangement that made her feel beyond comfortable, safe and happy.

'

"How do you feel, San?"

"I feel fine. My neck hurts a bit but I feel fine. Once the anaesthesia left my system, I felt fine. It was a ridiculously short operation and I was only put to sleep because of how close to my pulse point it was; if I squirmed, it could have been dangerous. But I was more concerned with trying to get home to you."

Santana smiled as Rachel nuzzled the side of her neck without the bandage and placed a soft kiss before she closed her eyes and drifted back to sleep as Brittany nuzzled the back of Rachel's head. From behind, Santana could feel Quinn nuzzling her head as she began softly snoring and Santana couldn't help but think how perfect this felt. How right it was.

The four of them. Together. It was moments like this that made her appreciate how close they had gotten and how glad she was to have them in her life. Finally, Santana fell asleep enjoying the embraces she was receiving from her three favourite girls and the knowledge that Rachel was at peace and hadn't been too uncomfortable but she would find out in full how it went later, right now, she just wanted to go to sleep while she was cocooned completely in safety and security.

As the four girls nuzzled closer and closer, they slept soundly and peacefully, unaware that LeRoy Berry was taking pictures with his phone and smiling with tears running down his cheek as he took in how peaceful Rachel looked and how content Santana was. Then there was the way Quinn and Brittany looked like they were in paradise as well.

It was such a beautifully touching moment and he hoped they would continue to have moments like this as time went on because as happy as Rachel and Santana were, Quinn and Brittany seemed to complete the equation in such a wonderful way.

With a final sigh, LeRoy backed out of the room and sighed sadly as he realised both he and Hiram only had a few more weeks until they had to head out again for work. They would only be gone a couple of weeks this time but still, after what happened, it was like a knife to his gut to know he was going to have to leave Rachel behind but this time, he knew she was in good hands.

But that didn't make it that much easier. He wanted to be there for Rachel but even Rachel knew how their work went. They worked a few weeks on and a few weeks off. Their extended stay in Africa had been a fluke and only lasted as long as it did because of the severity of Ebola and the fact that the government would not allow them on American soil without completing the full quarantine.

This time, they were returning to their usual work in India, vaccinating children and performing surgeries to fix cleft pallets and in some cases, assisting with tricky births and general stuff. This was going to be the hardest departure they were going to have to make.

This time, however, their work had made arrangements for them to be able to get on a plane home at any point should the need arise. They would be calling Rachel every night and they would be doing everything in their power to make sure Rachel was okay this time. They had also made arrangements with Santana and her parents so that Rachel could stay at Santana's house while they were away. There were no objections from any parties.

Hiram and LeRoy had been talking a lot and they were honestly considering getting new jobs soon and hopefully, it would be before the baby came so they could be there for Rachel. They wanted local jobs and according to Santana's father, there were openings at the hospital where he worked.

They knew about Santana's intentions to be there for the baby and if they were ready for the responsibility than he knew they could handle it but he was going to help out and so was Hiram.

If Rachel had simply had unprotected sex and gotten pregnant, he might have been stern and told her it was her baby and she had to figure it out the way other teen moms did but the circumstances were so different and it had been forced on Rachel by every means of the word. He was going to do everything he could to allow Rachel and Santana to lead their lives as normal teenagers should. It wasn't going to be easy on any of them but he knew Rachel, Santana and the two blondes in bed with them would be able to handle it.

Of course, there was always an ache in his heart when he thought about this because he knew it wasn't something they should have to worry about at all.


	16. Back to the Hospital

**Chapter Sixteen**

**I can't believe it has been so long since I started writing this story and how its evolved ever since. I am so happy with this story and how the characters are developing. Thank you to all of my readers and I hope as the story continues to flourish, I can still count on your beautiful reviews and words of kindness. **

**It's been an amazing week and I am actually working on the seventeenth chapter now (to be published in two weeks on schedule) and I am happy to say I am on my way to being in a better place mentally and things are looking up. **

**I'm hoping to start a new story within the next six months but I'm still experimenting with the plot to see where it could go. **

**Rating: M (as usual, sexual scenes will be marked.) **

**Triggers: Mentions of injuries unrelated to rape. **

**Note: mentions of polyamory.**

"Do you want anything before we go to sleep?"

This was the new nightly ritual. Rachel would spend at least ten minutes making sure Santana was perfectly content and didn't need anything before she would even think about relaxing. It was super sweet, except, Santana preferred to be the one looking after Rachel and this was honestly a bit of a parallel experience for her.

She prefered to be the one making sure Rachel had everything she needed and that she was perfectly content but… Rachel seemed against her doing anything that exerted her despite her insisted that she was fine and more than able.

Yet, she looked into Rachel's brown eyes and she knew that Rachel was really concerned about her and was going out of her way to make sure Santana's needs were being met while she recovered from surgery…

But she had been mostly recovered when she got home and the only thing she had now was some minor itching from where they had cut her neck open; it was itchy as all hell but it wasn't intolerable.

"I'm fine, Rach."

"I can make you tea?"

"I don't need anything but your sexy, naked body here in my arms," Santana said as she opened her arms to her naked girlfriend. They preferred to sleep naked whenever it was the two of them, even if they didn't have sex because it was something that made Rachel sleep that much more peacefully. And Santana adored the contact too.

"I can arrange that," Rachel said as she crawled into Santana's arms and nuzzled her shoulder while Santana kissed the top of her head, taking a few additional seconds to inhale Rachel's scent. "Why did we buy pyjamas?"

"To waste money and for when Quinn and Britt sleepover."

"I wonder if my dads are okay?"

"I'm sure they're fine, Rachel. They'll call as soon as they land," Santana purred as she began placing kisses on the crook of Rachel's neck. There was a feeling of immense satisfaction that Rachel's worries seemed to disappear as she began moaning out in pleasure.

"Mmm, don't stop, San!"

"Didn't plan to."

She made her way down to the valley between Rachel's breasts and began kissing each one as she rubbed the nipples with her fingers. She looked up and saw Rachel's eyes wild with lust and she almost came undone from the mere sight. And the moans pouring from her mouth were tantalizing. "You're so perfect, Rachel."

"I feel fat."

"Beautiful. So freaking beautiful," Santana purred as she kissed Rachel's growing belly with love and adoration in her eyes… In her eyes, Rachel was always beautiful and always would be. She just wished Rachel could see that.

"**Mm, god. I need you lower. Now. God! I need you!" **

**Rachel's libido was through the roof now and not that she was complaining because she loved satisfying Rachel but it was a weird experience waking up to Rachel's head between her thighs… Even weirder waking up mid-orgasm and unable to speak because she was moaning too loud.**

**And then Rachel smiled up at her with this big shit-eating grin on her face as though she had just created the cure to cancer. All Santana could do was draw her up and kiss her soundly, enjoying the taste of herself on Rachel's lips and the glow in Rachel's eyes. **

**And of course, she flipped Rachel around and had returned the favour. Despite Rachel claiming she didn't want Santana to hurt herself. Santana's reply had been to smirk widely at Rachel as she started. **

**Now, Rachel was looking into her eyes with hunger and fire in her eyes and it became clear what she wanted… need to be done. **

**This was without a doubt, the sexiest expression Rachel had because it was raw, unmasked and filled with every ounce of passion that the moment held. It was the desire to make love and allow their vulnerabilities to show. It was the trust that really did it. It was the way Rachel trusted Santana so completely with her body to not only make her feel **_**good**_ **but to not hurt her. **

"**Do you?" Santana made her way to her destination and with a flick of her thumb, she took immense pride in the way Rachel's entire body launched into the air as a guttural moan filled the entire room. "Like this… or this?"**

**With those words, Santana ran her tongue along Rachel's slit, giving the swollen nub a few gentle sucks and she had to use her hands to keep Rachel on the bed from how much she was withering around. **

"**Oh **_**god! **_**Yes! Don't stop, San!"**

**It was clear Rachel was close. **

"**You okay, Rachel."**

"**I need you!"**

"**Mmm."**

"**Inside, San! Please!" **

"**Okay, Rachel."**

**Santana got to work, gently putting two fingers in and curling them the way she knew drove Rachel absolutely nuts. **

**This was only the third time Rachel had wanted to be penetrated so she took it very seriously when she asked for it but she was always gentle and afterwards. Usually, their sex was limited to tongue and rubbing and once, they went back to Rachel simply touching herself while Santana held her but that was when she had a spike in anxiety for a while. **

**It did not take long at all until Rachel was crying out Santana's name with passion in her tone as she withered and moaned.**

"**Oh, god, San! I love you!" **

"**I love you, too, Rachel," Santana whispered once she got up to Rachel's ear and nipped gently at it. **

"**You know what would be nice, San?"**

"**I don't know, Rachel. What?"**

"**If you… maybe… sat on my face," Rachel blushed profusely, hoping that didn't come off as something a horny teenage boy would say to get a girls attention and the way Santana's jaw dropped a bit didn't assure her… until she saw the lustful gleam in Santana's eyes as she began to grin. **

"**Are you sure? We've never done that before." **

**They didn't really try many new things in the bedroom. Rachel could be so fragile sometimes that Santana was always reluctant to try something new. Surprisingly, it was always Rachel who proposed things for them to try. **

**And of course, Santana was happy to do whatever Rachel wanted because she would do anything to make her happy. **

"**Look San, I am entirely sure that I want you to plant that sexy ass of yours on my face so you can ride my tongue."**

**The reaction was immediate and it spread across off of Santana's body because… who knew Rachel Berry could talk **_**so dirty?**_ **It was the sexiest thing she had ever heard. **

"**Holy Fuck! I love it when you talk dirty!" **

**Santana carefully positioned herself over Rachel's face, she was going to ease herself down but Rachel's hands wrapped around her thighs and yanked her down and immediately got to work ravishing, like everything she did, she put her best into it, leaving Santana clutching the headboard to keep herself up as she was brought over the edge not once but twice. Powerful orgasms that left her oblivious to the world around her as her entire body seemed to release at once. **

**When she felt Rachel attempt to go again, she felt her body go weak as the rush wore off and she found she was far too sensitive to have another orgasm… Well, she could easily but it was just too intense for her. She needed to stop. **

"Rachel! Stop! I can't hold myself up anymore!"

Rachel stopped immediately and grinned at Santana as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

Rachel grinned as Santana lowered herself onto the bed and pulled Rachel into her arms with a wide grin so Rachel could nuzzle into her neck the way that made them both purr. Santana smiled as she felt the little diva take a sniff of her neck as she wrapped her arms around her and gave a sigh of complete contentment.

It was moments like this she adored. Everything was so peaceful, Rachel was always so calm and all they did was hold each other and look deeply into each other's eyes as they recovered from the things they did to each other.

Santana adored the way Rachel would nuzzle her and hum quietly as she ran her fingers up and down her spine.

She loved the way Rachel would kiss her cheek and then her nose before whispering how much she loved her.

Most importantly, she loved the way Rachel trusted her so implicitly; she was able to relax so much around Santana and just be herself. The face she had on her face was nothing she would have worn before they got comfortable with each other. It was as if she was baring her entire soul for Santana to see and it was the most beautiful thing she could ever imagine.

But everything Rachel did was beautiful.

The way she trusted Santana to touch her after what happened and to make love to her was a huge show of her trust. But the fact that she trusted Santana with her mind, body and soul was a privilege and an honour.

When Brittany had been raped, they got close because Santana had found her after she had had a meltdown and she became a beacon of hope to the still-so-innocent blond. They had forged a friendship but she had told Santana how hard with was to open up and trust someone so freely with her emotions because sometimes they got really intense and sometimes it was too much for her.

But even harder, was allowing herself to feel her own emotions so she could be open with someone about them. It meant letting her thoughts flow and not hide from them. That was always the hardest.

"I think I'm ready to speak to Mercedes' aunt."

It took a moment to realise what Rachel was saying and soon the meaning of her words hit her and she had to bite her lip to keep herself from grinning like a fool.

Rachel was ready to take a major step in healing.

Santana had given the number to Brittany and she noticed Brittany was doing a lot better, so she was confident the woman would be able to help Rachel too but she knew she couldn't force her to go unless she was ready.

"Okay, do you want me to call in the morning?"

Rachel's fathers had left her insurance information with them so they could go to appointments for the baby or anything else that would come up.

This was such a major step for Rachel and Santana just wanted to hold her and never let her go.

"Yes, San. I want to feel better but… I just don't know what to do to get there. I love the way you make me feel better but I need to be able to help myself. When we go to college, we'll be in separate classes and we'll have separate jobs one day and I need to be able to comfort myself."

It was a harsh reality.

But it was true.

They could end up at different schools, classes, jobs and she would need to be able to function on her own. She would need to be able to take herself from class to class and deal with people bumping into her and walking close.

She would need to be able to handle her anxiety.

And Santana couldn't always be right there to help her. Right now, in high school, they could but the real world wasn't going to be as easy and they weren't going to have as many luxuries as they do now.

They were going to have to do things on their own as part of their own individual lives and be there for each other when they could but they could not follow each other everywhere.

Especially since Rachel's career was drifting more towards gymnastics and dance while hers was aimed more towards law or medicine.

She was leaning more towards law because than she could make people cry themselves into confessions in the middle of courtrooms and win cases with glares alone… And sure, she knew there was way more to it than that, she wanted to be one of those tough lawyers who was respected and known.

But this would mean they would have separate educations, separate jobs, separate hours and most likely separate schools.

And that wasn't even factoring in the baby, their social lives separate from each other and their own individual hobbies. They could be there for each other to give love, support, comfort and all that but it couldn't be every second of every day.

They were doing better now. Rachel was going to gymnastics with Brittany and having her diva nights where she'd be away from Santana until about three in the morning when Santana would crawl onto the pull-away where she slept and spoon her to keep the nightmares at bay.

"I know, Rach."

Plus, she knew it was a good idea for her to see a professional about her nightmares and whatever subconscious anxieties Rachel had and wasn't sure how to deal with and hopefully deal with them before it becomes too much for her.

It was impossible not to worry about this sometimes.

"Okay, on a lighter note, San; I want to grab a shower. Want to join me?"

"God, yes!"

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"So my dad mentioned something today and I wanted to tell you."

Rachel squirmed nervously, leaving Santana nervous as she found herself unconsciously rubbing at her healing stitches on her neck. Recently, the itching had become annoying and it became harder for her to ignore as she found herself becoming nervous over what Rachel's father could have said. Was he telling her they needed to break up? Cause there was no way she was going to allow them to break up just because either of their parents had a problem.

They had gotten out of the shower and now Santana was preparing Rachel to go to bed, despite the way Rachel seemed hell-bent determined to fuss over Santana's needs and wishes.

Finally, they both layed down, content in the knowledge that they were both fine and didn't need anything but each other's arms.

Rachel smiled nervously but took her hand and moved it away from her bandaged neck.

"Okay, about what?"

Rachel shifted again as though insure what to say or how to say it. It was the look she had when she needed an ankle rub because it was becoming a little uncomfortable for her to bend down and do it herself or when she was craving something really weird that she knew was going to make Santana cringe but not stop her from making it for her.

It was the 'I don't know how you're about to react to what I'm about to say' squirming that left Santana more nervous than anything.

The last time she did this, she had wanted and onion, pickle and cheese sandwich... And it smelled just as bad as it sounds but Santana sat with her as she ate it and only grimaced three times when Rachel was looking. But it was the only time she ever denied Rachel a kiss until she had brushed her teeth.

"Britt and Quinn."

"What about them?"

Had something happened while she was in the hospital? Were the men mad at them? They hadn't mentioned anything having gone wrong and everyone seemed perfectly content when Santana arrived at the house the second she was released from the hospital and that was three nights ago. She hoped if something was wrong _one_ of them would have mentioned _something_ by now.

Especially considering how much closer they all were. The four of them had taken to cuddling on Rachel's couch, usually with Britt and Rachel in the middle while Quinn and Santana would spoon them both from the outside. Santana and Quinn would softly whisper to each other while Brittany and Rachel napped with their foreheads pressed together. It wasn't even uncommon anymore to see them holding hands or various combinations of the four of them holding hands.

And the Berry men always seemed to shrug it off.

Maybe they were finally getting fed up with the number of teenagers in the house taking their food. Rachel was now eating more and more each day as her belly and baby grew bigger and bigger and now it seemed there were two more teenagers who seemed to practically never go home. Were they expecting a financial contribution to the household expenses?

"They're under the impression that we like them."

"We do like them. They're our friends."

Rachel squirmed again before looking into Santana's eyes with a shake of her head.

"No. As _more than friends._ They think we're in a polyamorous relationship with them," Rachel blushed but her expression didn't give much away about how she felt about it… except for her eyes.

Clearly, this was not something she was apposed to but it was important for Santana to know how Rachel would actually feel about such a relationship before she expressed her opinion on the matter but she could tell they were pretty much on the same page. Or she hoped.

She really hoped they were on the same page.

"...And how do you feel about that?"

"Um…" That was the last thing Rachel squeaked before she looked to her hands as though the right answer to that question would be written on her skin.

She was nervous.

Santana cupped her girlfriend's cheek and looked into her eyes, keeping her expression as calm as she could because no matter how Rachel answered, she would not be upset.

"Tell me, Rachel. I won't be upset. Do you want to be involved with them like that? How does it make you feel to think about them like that?"

"I… Think I like it. It's like they complete us. It's like the missing puzzle piece we didn't know we were missing. But… I don't know how to describe it."

"I think I know… Because I feel it, too."

"You do?"

Rachel's eyes went wide as she realised her girlfriend was feeling the same thing she was towards their blonde friends.

"When the held us, it felt…"

"Right. Complete."

"Yes!" Santana agreed as she looked into Rachel's eyes and kept her gaze there because this was a really big discussion they were having. A very important discussion that would most likely change the fabric of their relationship and potentially the relationship between them and Quinn and Brittany too.

"What do we do?"

"Talk to them in the morning and see how they feel. Make it clear we're not pressuring them into anything they're not interested in and we are open to either leaving things as they are or… pursuing it and seeing where it goes."

Rachel's eyes glowed at the idea of pursuing the relationship with Quinn and Brittany and Santana's heart soared the second the words left her mouth. She took Rachel's lips in a gentle kiss and held her hands over Rachel's bare belly, taking a moment to appreciate Rachel's breasts.

"What would that relationship look like?"

"Hmm, not much different than what we have now. It would be hot as Hell! I can just picture you and Britt making out while Quinn rubs your tits," Santana said, feeling a lot like a horny teenage boy when she said that but she couldn't help it, it was where her mind had gone and it was the visual she was having when Rachel asked the question… And Rachel must have liked the answer because her pupils dilated.

"And what are you going to be doing while this happens?" Rachel asked seductively as she straddled Santana with newfound enthusiasm that told the Latina that round two was about to begin.

"Hopefully scissoring one of you into oblivion."

And it was those words that started round two.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

It was the annoying growl in her stomach that woke Rachel. But it wasn't the 'oh, I'm a bit peckish' hunger. No, this was 'I haven't eaten in months' kind of hunger, despite the fact that she just ate a whole twenty pack of McDonald's chicken nuggets before she and Santana had 'gone to bed'.

This was ridiculous. She wasn't going to make it till morning. She needed to get up and have some bacon. Some of that salty, crispy _gold_ with a little bit of a maple aftertaste because it was the maple bacon that she tended to crave over the regular bacon.

A glance over to Santana brought a smile to her face. Her latina girlfriend was asleep so peacefully, grinning happily as she nuzzled into Rachel's bare arm and Bobby Bunny. It was such a precious moment and she absolutely did not want to wake her up.

Bacon was easy to make.

It would take about twenty minutes to get the bacon and she could crawl back in bed and cuddle Santana as she ate it.

Her stomach let out a loud growl as she stood up, taking a second to make sure Santana stayed asleep. Sure enough, Santana turned on her side and nuzzled the bunny close to her face, sighing Rachel's name.

If she wasn't so hungry, she would have crawled back into the bed upon hearing that but she _needed to eat._

She threw on a robe and took one more glance at Santana before she made her way out of the room.

Santana's house was two stories and her bedroom was right by the stairwell. It took about three seconds for her to realise she had no clue where the light switch was but the moonlight was enough to light up the stairs for her.

Or so she thought because somehow she went from walking quietly down the stairs to her ankle twisting as she thumped down the six remaining steps to the bottom with a shocked cry.

At first, she felt nothing, it was surreal as though her mind was trying to catch up with what had just happened but this blissful moment didn't last because all at once, her ankle began throbbing and her tailbone began aching.

Her sleepy mind was now wide awake and her thoughts of bacon were now replaced by the feeling of pain in her ankle and the unmistakable feeling of an injury.

As a gymnast and a dance, Rachel was able to tell the difference between a simple sore ankle and a genuine injury and this was an injury. The kind that took days to weeks to heal.

Days to weeks she didn't want to waste on crutches or limping around.

She could feel the skin on her ankle stretching as the swelling began.

She heard Santana's door crash open seconds before erratic footsteps down the steps told her Santana had heard her fall and was now clumsily running towards Rachel. It was the look of wild concern and fear in Santana's eyes that confirmed this as she dropped to her knees before her.

"Rachel, are you okay?"

"No. My ankle… it hurts! Oh my god, the baby! Santana! I fell down the stairs!"

What if the fall had hurt the baby? They weren't moving… Not that that meant much, they didn't move around all that much, just once in a while to remind Rachel they were still there… And when she ate certain foods. It was impossible to tell if it was because the baby enjoyed the foods or not but Rachel enjoyed feeling them move, so she ate those foods whenever she could.

"Okay, we'll go to the hospital, your ankle's already swelling; they'll check on the baby while we're there, okay… First, however, we need to get some clothes on because you're naked under that robe and I'm not even wearing one… Something tells me that two naked girls wondering into the ER won't go over well."

Santana dashed upstairs and within moments, came down with two sundresses and two pairs of underwear in her hands to eliminate any time wasted trying to search for an outfit that would fit around Rachel's belly… And even more, time getting dressed in multiple layers. They weren't going to be outside much anyway.

"What were you doing up, anyway?"

Once Santana had thrown her dress and underwear on, she turned to Rachel and began slipping the underwear on, which wasn't easy because the one time Rachel applied weight to her ankle, the resulting cry was louder than the cry that first woke her out of her deep sleep.

"I was hungry. You looked so peaceful, I didn't want to wake you. I didn't want to be one of those annoying, pregnant girlfriends who wake their partner up at all hours for something stupid like bacon or a sandwich when I'm perfectly capable of doing it myself."

"Oh, Rachel… Next time, wake me. I'd be happy to get up at three and make you bacon or run to McDonald's… Heck, I'd build a McDonald's in the backyard if it would make you happy and run it myself."

"But… I'm tired of being a pain…"

"You're not. Look, when we started dating, I knew to expect this, especially once you got pregnant. I love you and I want you safe. You are far more important than a few minutes of sleep and that baby… If you're craving something, it's because the baby needs it… Or you need it. Now, let's go to the hospital."

Once Rachel was dressed, Santana told her to wrap her arms around her neck which stirred a ton of panic over the idea of hurting Santana's healing cut. Santana sighed and moved towards her again with a look of determination on her face Rachel finally agreed to allow Santana to pick her up. It became easier once Santana promised Rachel that the cut was mostly healed.

With that in mind, Santana carried Rachel to her car, unaffected by the fact that Rachel weighed a little more than she did the last she carried her… But she hoisted heavier Cheerios over her head on a daily bases.

Once Rachel was settled and she was in the seat, she made her way to the hospital for the second time in such a short period.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"Is there a single doctor in this stupid hospital?"

"San…"

It had been over an hour since they were taken back to one of the ER rooms with the 'bed' and a chair and a ton of machines that most likely wouldn't be touched and ever since, only a nurse had come by to get Rachel's vitals and ask some questions about her ankle and her pregnancy.

Santana was livid and her anger grew every time she watched Rachel hold back a wince of pain as her ankle would give her pain. It made her want to run into the hall and drag a doctor to Rachel kicking and screaming.

No, this was completely unacceptable. They needed a doctor and they needed one asap.

"I swear, if someone doesn't come and tend to you soon, I'm going to go all Lima Heights on their crack team of doctors!"

"San! Please, just hold me," Rachel said, looking into Santana's eyes and suddenly she realised just how uncomfortable this situation was for Rachel.

Here she was in the hospital in the middle of the night, surrounded by strangers, waiting for a strange doctor to come poke and prod at her… All things that would make anyone nervous and Rachel was already on edge.

This was an uncomfortable situation for anyone but the look in her eyes told Santana how uncomfortable she was and how much she wished she could just go home.

"Okay. Scootch forward."

With those words, she climbed onto the bed behind Rachel and wrapped her legs around Rachel's hips before the laid back, pulling Rachel into her chest. Rachel sighed and curled onto her side, nuzzling Santana's chest with the side of her face.

"The baby's moving, San."

"Really! That's a good sign. How's your ankle?"

Rachel sighed, deciding to be honest with her girlfriend and looked sadly at her hands.

"Hurts, San. But I've had worse," Rachel whispered as she nuzzled as closely to the taller girl as she could without burrowing into her.

"Rachel, let me see your ankle."

Rachel lifted the blanket away from her bare ankle and Santana sucked in a breath at the sight of the bruised, swollen and painful-looking ankle.

"It's swollen good, Rach."

"Please, San. Just hold me."

"Okay."

By the time the doctor came in, he took a glance at the ankle and Rachel was sent in for an x-ray which determined she had sprained her ankle.

All of this was a difficult process because Rachel would stiffen when he got too close and she flinched when she made contact with her but Santana tightened her grip and settled for glaring at the poor doctor whenever he wasn't looking.

The x-ray had been just as uncomfortable but the technician had been female and did everything she could to make Rachel comfortable since Santana could not be in the room while the x-ray was going.

They were informed that Rachel was to stay off her ankle, use crutches for the next two weeks and that she would need to come back when the two weeks were up for a follow up with the doctor.

After the doctor explained how tricky it would be to treat the pain, Rachel shook her head and quickly explained that she didn't plan to take anything for the pain. She never took anything for a sprained or twisted ankle and she didn't intend to start; especially since she was pregnant and couldn't imagine taking something that could potentially harm her baby.

The doctor sighed, muttering about athletes before sighing.

"Okay, so I hear we're also going to do an ultrasound. The machine is right down the hall. The technician will come in, set up the machine and our OBGYN will conduct the scan. She'll tell you right away if there is something wrong but since you mentioned the baby is moving as normal, I wouldn't be concerned. Your womb is really good at absorbing shock and impact from fetuses, so unless something really major happens, I imagine your baby will be fine."

"Look, please just hurry cause I wants to get my girl home and get our snuggle on because we've been up half the night."

"Will do, I don't want to keep you any longer than needed. Your girl looks ready to fall asleep in your arms."

Santana looked down and found that Rachel was indeed forcing her eyes open and doing her best to try and stay awake.

"Let her sleep, Miss…"

"Lopez."

"Miss Lopez. The doctor will be about thirty minutes."

Santana whispered to Rachel to just go to sleep and almost instantly, she felt Rachel's body relax in her arms and her breathing came out in soft puffs that indicated she had fallen asleep. So focused on her girlfriend, she didn't even hear the doctor slip out of the room. She was too busy focusing on the way Rachel was clutching onto her arms and now sleeping somewhat peacefully.

She began singing softly to her in Spanish. It was the same lullaby her mami used to sing to her when she was small and she knew it tended to relax and calm the diva down. She loved the way Rachel's eyes would relax and her entire disposition would change oh-so-slightly when she began singing those familiar words to her.

It was as though it was her favourite song in the entire world. In her arms, the sleeping diva settled that much more when she began singing and gave a soft sigh. Santana sat there singing and whispering as Rachel slept.

When the technician rolled the machine in and Rachel gave a small whimper at the noise, the glare she gave the poor woman was enough to make her go pale.

But the glare died when Rachel sat up in a daze and looked sleepily into Santana's eyes and kissed her chin softly.

The effect was immediate and Santana's face turned into a soft grin as she hugged Rachel closer to her body. The technician smiled as a doctor entered the room and eyed the couple with a soft grin. It was obvious these girls were in love and she adored them for being brave enough to express that in a town like Lima where these things weren't accepted so easily.

Santana, however, was very displeased with being stared at as though she was some kind of puppy or an exhibit at a museum.

"Um… Hello. Can you stop staring?"

"So, Miss Lopez. I am Dr Jenning and this is my assistant Lia. We will be checking on your baby and I will be forwarding the results to you OBGYN but I will tell you the results today as well so you won't have to make an appointment with her to see how your baby is," Dr Jenning explained as Lia turned on the machine.

"Okay, Rachel, find a comfortable position with your belly exposed so we can do the scan. I'm afraid Miss Lopez is going to need to move because I need you flat on your back."

The doctor looked fairly remorseful at making the request, so Santana complied, only muttering under her breath once but the look on Rachel's face was enough to bite back any and all of her mean statements.

As much as Rachel wanted to go home, she was kind of nervous and excited to see her baby again and Santana was watching with a lot more interest this time.

She wasn't sure how she felt about seeing the baby themselves but she was looking forward to seeing how much bigger they were. She was more curious than she was emotionally connected. There was some emotional involvement and she cared deeply about the baby's well being but there wasn't that 'motherly love' she had heard so much about. There was some concern, curiosity but there weren't any of that warm fuzzy blissful feelings she heard about.

When the gel hit her belly, she jumped slightly and the doctor gave her an apologetic smile as Santana grabbed her hand.

Soon, an image took over the screen and soon they could see a little time, big-headed human-shaped blob on the screen. One of the hands was actually moving as though the baby knew they were being watched and was waving to them.

Rachel's face grew into a smile as she watched her baby wave and she felt relieved to see the baby moving around and doing so well.

"Dios mio!" Santana exclaimed, completely mystified. Last time the baby barely had any form and now, there was a head, torso, arms and legs and weird-looking eye sockets that seemed to resemble an alien but still, the shape was a lot more human than it had been. "The baby looks like it might actually be human!"

"So… everything is fine?"

Rachel ignored Santana's exclamation of shock that she was actually growing a human fetus.

"Yes, the baby is positioned fine, moving fine, the growth is fine; developmentally, your baby is fine and they don't look like there was a single thing bothered by your fall. Now, are you interested in finding out the gender, because I have a really good view right now?"

Rachel looked over at Santana and shook her head, she didn't want to be one of those mothers who bought all pink for a girl and all blue for a boy only to discover her daughter screamed at the sight of pink or her son hated blue.

She already had ideas for the decorations she wanted the baby surrounded in. She wanted an ocean theme with colours of the sea, fish and sand. She was going to find a way to loop ocean noises which she read was great for comforting the baby as it reminded them of their time in the womb.

She had been doing research on babies and things that comforted them.

She had expressed this to Santana and Santana agreed because she loved the ocean herself. Rachel had always loved the ocean and she loved the idea of bringing her baby home to an ocean-themed room.

"No, I think we're fine."

"Okay, so everything appears fine on my end. I'm going to give you a requisition for the blood tests you would have been required to get for your next exam, so those tests will be done when you get to your next appointment. You don't have to go today, probably by the end of the week. Would you like a note to get out of school today?"

"Yes, please!"

The room broke into laughter at Santana's joy at receiving a note excusing her from school. It was amusing for different reasons; Rachel and Santana were laughing at knowing they were actually going to be excused from school but knew perfectly well they would have ditched with or without the note.

The doctor found the enthusiasm amusing and she looked at the couple and she could tell they would be good moms but she couldn't help but wonder how two teenage girls had wound up facing motherhood so young. But, it wasn't any of her business and she was going to stay out of their personal lives.

"But what about class?"

"Listen, Rachel, mi angel," Santana purred, making her Spanish accent obvious and taking satisfaction in the way Rachel blushed visibly at the sound of the accent. "I don't care if we have to repeat the who fucking year… I don't care if we have to repeat all of our high school career. All I care about is you and your health. And the baby. Now, let's get your sexy ass into a wheelchair and home."

"Can we get my crutches on the way home?"

"No, I want to get you home and into bed," Santana explained as she lifted Rachel into the wheelchair. "Besides, I'll have Q and B bring them to the house after school. We can have our talk with them then."

Rachel's grin grew at the idea of proposing a relationship with the two attractive blondes. She wanted to cuddle the three girls and hold them, especially after a long day… maybe including some lady loving.

But she looked forward to the idea of holding them as they slept was addictive. She loved the idea of Quinn's supportive face as she kissed Rachel's face and Brittany's bubbly nature as Rachel kissed her cheek and held her close.

And Santana as she and Brittany were cocooned in the middle of them.

"You'll hold me when you get home?"

"Always, Rachel."

"Let's go home, okay?"

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"Let me grab our PJs before we lay down for the day, okay?"

"Okay," Rachel yawned sleepily as Santana set her down onto her bed while she delivered a kiss to her cheek.

"Do you want another pill, Rachel?"

Rachel shook her head and watched as Santana took off her clothes, causing Rachel's jaw to drop slightly as she watched Santana slowly removed her clothes.

"I just want you. Why are we putting PJs on?"

"Because when B and Q get here, it might be a bit distracting if we're both naked, especially considering the nature of our discussion," Santana said as she noticed Rachel staring at her, her eyes glazed over and her cheeks flush. "And I plan to lay with you until they get here. So, you put your pyjama shirt on and I'll help you with your pants."

Santana threw Rachel's fuzzy pyjama top at her but it was completely ignored because Rachel was too busy staring at her naked girlfriend as she moved through the drawers to pull out her own pyjamas. When she bent over, Rachel practically forgot her name, let along what she was doing.

Santana turned around and upon seeing her girlfriend's face, she smirked wickedly and gave her butt a quick jiggle and watched as Rachel's jaw dropped a little more.

She knew Rachel had trouble focusing on things when she was tired but this was adorable and as much as she knew it wasn't the time to be messing with Rachel's chaotic hormones, she didn't really think before she gave her butt a smack and taking satisfaction as Rachel let out a tiny moan.

"Are you going to put your shirt on, Rachel?"

"Mm-Hmm."

"Okay… So…Are you just going to stare at my naked ass?"

"Yeah… Um… I mean…"

"Put your shirt on," Santana said as she pulled on her pyjama bottoms on, followed by the top and Rachel gave a small sigh before she put her own top on.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

Once Rachel and Santana were dressed, the sexual tension in the room went down, especially once the exhaustion from the night before settled on both of them and keeping their eyes open became about as difficult as calculus.

Santana pulled out her phone and fired off a text before she turned to her girlfriend and found she had a meek, almost guilty look on her face. Again, she recognised the look Rachel wore when she had to ask for something she was reluctant to ask for.

"I just texted Quinn to pick up crutches and told her I'll pay her back… okay, what's up, Rachel?"

"I kinda need the bathroom but I don't want to step on my ankle…"

"Oh, okay. I'll carry you in." Rachel's face went shy and bashful and Santana found it kind of adorable considering… "Rachel, I think we're well beyond modesty. You don't have anything I haven't seen… and tasted before."

"Okay, San."

"Okay, let's go. I don't want your feet touching the ground at all today. It'll be good for your ankle to rest completely until tomorrow and then we'll work on the crutches… Besides, I want to pamper you, today."

"Okay but San… Can you pamper me after I pee?"

That's when she noticed the urgent look on Rachel's face and put her years of Cheerio training to good use.

That was one of the inconvenient parts of Rachel's pregnancy.

Her bladder seemed to go from fine to full in a matter of seconds. Sometimes it was okay but sometimes, she would stand up and literally _run_ to the toilet barely an hour after a trip to the bathroom. This included an unfortunate incident one night that resulted in a shower and laundry being done at three in the morning.

But regardless, with the pregnancy, she knew she had to move fast. Halfway to the bathroom, her phone began binging as multiple text messages began flooding her phone. She ignored the messages and focused on settling Rachel on the toilet and sitting on the edge of the tub.

"Once I get you settled in bed, do you want something to eat?"

"No, I'm not hungry but if you're hungry, you can grab yourself something."

"How about I make you your favourite Berry blend smoothie with extra protein powder?"

Every morning at breakfast, Santana made Rachel a Berry smoothie with a special blend of protein powder that included a full daily dose of the prenatal vitamin. And added to the smoothie, it tasted pretty good. But on days when Rachel didn't feel like eating, the doctor recommended one of those smoothies with an additional scoop of regular protein powder.

It worked and Rachel flourished.

"I can help."

"You can stay your sexy ass in bed. I'm fine and I don't want your feet touching the ground. And I'm sure Britt and Q will agree."

The blush on the diva's cheeks was enough to bring a smirk to Santana's face. She knew to bring up Q and Britt was playing curveball and would no doubt work and sure enough, Rachel nodded as she finished up on the toilet and once her hands were washed, she was back in bed, eyeing Santana's phone which sounded like it was about to explode.

_Q: Hospital? Why?_

_Q: What happened?_

_Q: Are you okay?_

_Q: Is Rachel okay?_

_Q: Is it the baby?_

_Q: Is it your cyst?_

_Q: Why do you need crutches?_

_Q: San, dammit, answer! _

_Q: San!_

_Q: Look, Britt and I are on the way! _

_Q: What size crutches? _

_S: Short enough for Rachel_

Making her way to the kitchen, she watched as the three dots appeared and seconds later, Quinn's message appeared.

_Q: Took you long enough! I was freaking out. What happened?_

_S: I'll tell you when you get here. Don't worry, we're both okay-ish. _

_Q: Ish?_

_S: We just got home from the ER._

_Q: Kay, we're at the drugstore now. Anything else?_

_S: Those gummies Rachel likes if you could… Don't you have school?_

_Q: Fuck school. We care more about you two right now. _

Hmm, that told Santana that their feelings for the pair might be mutual. With a grin on her face, she turned poured her smoothie into a cup before she added Rachel's special powder to the mix and blended it in.

_S: My my, Quinn Fabray skipping class…_

_Q: You love it San, Q's driving now. Are we going to your house or Rachie's?_

_S: My house. Just let yourselves in. _

With those words, Santana poured Rachel's smoothie into a green cup and made her way upstairs.

"So… Q and Britt are coming now."

Rachel glanced at the clock and smiled.

"It's 8 in the morning?"

"And Quinn said and I quote 'fuck school'."

Rachel's jaw dropped at the suggestion of Quinn Fabray, the most studios girl she knew was saying 'Fuck school'. But it brought a smile to her face.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"We're just bringing it to their attention and getting their opinion. We're not asking them to hop in bed with us for a threesome or asking for some kind of lifetime commitment. We're just saying 'this is how we feel, how do you feel?'"

"Okay, Rachel. Well, let's get drink these and see how long it takes for…"

"Rachie! Sanny! We're here!"

"That didn't take long at all," Rachel giggled with a yawn as she nuzzled Santana's shoulder.

"I love you, San."

"I love you, too, Rach. Now, let's see about getting our girls in our arms."


	17. Pillow Talk

**Chapter 17**

**Seventeen Chapters! Oh my goodness! Thank you for your support and wonderful reviews. They mean the world to me and they fuel my motivation to keep writing. You are all wonderful people and thank you for taking the time to read my story. **

**Chapter rating: T for implied sexual references**

**Triggers: none**

**Note: Contains polyamory. **

**Note: Sorry this chapter is late but I wanted to post it on Thanksgiving because I love Thanksgiving. **

* * *

Quinn Fabray was a lot of things. She was patient, calm, and she didn't panic. It simply wasn't encouraged to allow herself to be vulnerable enough to panic and after so long, it seemed to go against her instincts to panic.

Fabrays were rational. They come up with solutions while everyone else ran around crying and panicking.

Quinn was more rational than most of her father's side of the family. Her father tended to get angry with things he couldn't control… Where Quinn would think rationally and attempt to understand and resolve.

She didn't panic too much when she realised she was gay. She didn't panic when her parents found out she was pregnant. She didn't even panic when there was a fake bomb threat at the school.

But one text message from Santana and her mind went into full panic mode and every possible worst-case scenario filled her mind like a dark cloud.

Of course, Santana couldn't just explain in the message what had happened! No, she had to leave them to wonder what was happening and leave her imagination to draw ridiculous conclusions.

What if something was wrong with the baby?

What if Rachel had a panic attack?

What if Santana's cyst came back?

And crutches?

The number of questions running through Quinn's mind was mind-boggling and the fear was enough to nearly lock her legs. Pings of sweat began prickling on her back as she became more and more worried for the pair.

There was so much that could go wrong and so quickly with both Santana and Rachel. Especially Rachel with her pregnancy and her frail mental health.

Rachel was doing better but she was pregnant and vulnerable to so much.

"Quinnie, calm down. Breathe. Everything is fine. Let's just go now," Brittany whispered in the hallway.

They were on the way to Cheerio practice when Santana texted her briefly saying they just got home from the hospital and needed them to pick up a pair of crutches after school.

She knew her thoughts were irrational but she couldn't help but worry. And now, all she wanted to do was run to them and hold them in her arms until she knew they were okay. She wanted to hold Britt, Rachel and Santana in her arms.

There was no better feeling in the world than holding the three of them.

Something about it made her feel so safe and so secure, as though she could take on the entire world and win.

She loved the way Santana muttered in Spanish as she slept. The way Rachel would wrap her arms and legs around the nearest person like a koala bear. And Brittany always giggled in her sleep.

There were things she loved about sleeping with the three of them.

One night, Brittany got up and went to the bathroom and Rachel had turned around and clung to her. It was so comfortable and in the morning, they woke up and Rachel was still clinging to her and Brittany was cuddled into Santana.

It had been so nice waking up with Rachel cuddled up to her and the sight of Santana and Brittany cuddling warmed her heart so much.

It had been such a wonderful morning.

She really loved Santana and Rachel.

And Brittany.

She loved the three of them. In a way that kind of scared her but she couldn't bring herself to try and distance herself. She couldn't. She could tell Brittany enjoyed their presence as much as she did.

By the time Santana got back to her, she was in full-blown panic mode and she and Brittany were in her car, about to speed to the drug store as fast as her car would allow her to. Thankfully, Brittany was there to keep her somewhat grounded.

So, after a conversation with Santana, Quinn and Brittany took off to the drug store to get crutches for Rachel, their minds filled with worry and fear for the pregnant diva and her unborn child.

Brittany shifted nervously in her seat, making suggestions for things they could bring back to make Rachel happy.

"... And let's bring Rachie a Baconator because she loves those. Her smile is so cute when she eats them."

Quinn raised a brow but didn't say anything because she had just been thinking about how cute Rachel's face was when she ate the little chocolate drops she had picked up. Brittany simply shrugged and made a noise that told Quinn just how unworried she was about what she had said. It was a look that said 'it is what it is, take it or leave it.'

She loved the way Brittany was so unapologetic about her feelings. She was very much the type to tell someone how she felt and if they had a problem, she didn't really care. She cared about the wellbeing and feelings of her friends but aside from that, she didn't really give a shit what anyone thought of her and she made it known as she danced through the halls, skipped to classes, spoke her mind to everyone and wore whatever she wanted, no matter how it looked.

It was one of the things Quinn loved most about Brittany. Rachel had it too but she wasn't as completely open with her thoughts. Especially now. Now, she was a lot quieter and far more reserved but it wasn't because she was hiding. Rachel seemed content to distance herself from groups of people or getting into discussions with people who weren't in her immediate comfort circle.

She was getting better but she still spent her lunches in the choir room with Santana and she prefered to go home after Cheerio practice so she could shower. She still wouldn't step foot into the locker room.

There were a few times the coach had allowed Rachel use of her private showers. The first time, Rachel panicked because it was a little claustrophobic but she brought Santana with her for her showers after… Not that Santana complained about showering away from the other cheerios and showering with her girlfriend.

But she and Brittany had taken to joining the diva and Santana in the choir room every day. They would sit and talk or sometimes they would simply sit in silence and enjoy each other's company. A lot of the time, Rachel and Brittany would huddle together while Santana and Quinn would either spoon them from behind or they would sit by themselves and chat.

It became a thing and Quinn came to look forward to it.

One day they were talking and Rachel playfully fell into Quinn's arms, catching her a bit off guard as she tried to figure out the best way to wrap her arms around Rachel and hold her up without letting her fall. Rachel of course, giggled and remained nestled in Quinn's embrace while Brittany and Santana continued their heated debate about Game of Thrones and what they thought was going to happen when the next episode aired with Santana only peeking up to make sure Rachel was okay with the embrace.

Rachel had no patience for the show and Quinn would rather watch paint dry, so they just watched their girlfriends go back and forth. By the time the discussion was finished, they were seated by the piano and Rachel had fallen asleep in her arms, something that had only ever happened once before when Santana was at the hospital.

Santana had turned around and saw Quinn absent-mindedly stroking her hair and she just smiled at Quinn who simply blushed at the look.

Now, as they drove to Santana's place with the food, requested items, three stuffed ducks from Brittany and a copy of a few DVDs, Quinn allowed her mind to wonder about her feelings and how they were changing into an unknown direction.

"Quinn. Would you be mad if I kissed Rachie or Sanny?"

She had no idea what to say that. That was the last thing she expected Brittany to say.

"What?"

"I want to kiss them. Rachie would be such a good kisser and Santana looks like she'd be handsy. I like handsy. Except when I'm nervous but you know that."

Again, unapologetic. Here were Brittany's feelings, take them or leave them. She stated it so frankly and openly that Quinn had to take a second to repeat in her mind what had been said. And when she found herself shaking her head, she knew it was because she wanted to kiss them as well. But why?

She had Brittany.

And Rachel was getting to such a good place and Santana was so sure of herself and her relationship. She didn't want to fuck up such a good thing because she and Britt for whatever reason wanted to have some weird type of… whatever that would be.

But she pictured Brittany, Santana and Rachel and all she could see was the four of them lumped together in a relationship. It was always the four of them she pictured now. Especially in her dreams. It was so easy to picture it in her dreams. So much so that she woke up feeling guilty and nervous.

She pictured cuddling the four of them, she pictured cuddling each of them individually and now she pictured each of their lips on hers. Even Santana's despite never having kissed the Latina before. She could already imagine how her lips felt and how they tasted and her tongue in her mouth…

"No Britt… I think I want to kiss them too."

Saying it out loud had been difficult. It made it real that she was having these feelings. It was one this to admit she was gay but another to accept that she had feelings for not one but three girls!

"We should then."

"No, Rachel and Santana might not want us to kiss them."

Quinn frowned as she tried to figure out the best way to explain this to Brittany.

"We should ask them."

Oh, it was going to be a very interesting day. But she would worry about that later. Quinn's one and only concern right now was trying to figuring out why Rachel and Santana had been to the hospital and why Rachel needed crutches.

She had other concerns but that was the most pressing concerns.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

Santana's house was the same as ever. Her car was parked closer to the house than usual but there was nothing on the lawn that told Quinn anything about what had happened. Not that she was expecting to arrive to a full-on crime scene investigation but she was going crazier and crazier with each passing second. 403-9827

One of her girls… erm… friends… was hurt and she didn't know a thing about why or how. Or how badly.

Brittany found the hide-a-key while Quinn carried the food, candies, crutches and DVDs upstairs towards Santana's bedroom. The lights were all off through the house, telling the two blondes that the brunette pair had not spent time outside Santana's bedroom because they were both not really good for flicking lights off except at bedtime when they went through and turned everything off.

It was something Quinn had made a habit of doing when she was there but it was still something she knew hadn't been worked on with them because she never brought it to their attention; it's not her house.

The house had not changed over the years. As they went upstairs, Quinn glanced briefly at the photos of Santana growing up which sometimes featured her and Brittany. There was one picture of the three of them sitting on the porch with ice cream when they were twelve.

It had been the day Santana had gotten her first period at school. Her mother had given them ice cream to cheer her up… But so had her father and her abuela had also given them ice cream… And cookies… And chips… And chocolate.

That picture had been taken about ten minutes before the three of them began power puking and while the sugar high was still making them smile like mad. Quinn looked at the picture and thought back to when she had those bangs and how much easier their lives were then.

The biggest problem they had was trying to make their boobs grow and convince their parents that they were in fact mature enough to stay up until midnight… None of them had ever won that argument but they had all tried.

The closest Quinn was able to get was 10:15. Santana had been given 11 on weekends and Brittany got 10:45. And yet none of them really managed to stay awake until those times until three years later.

"I still can't look at triple fudge ice cream without gagging," Brittany giggled as they continued their trip upstairs to the Latina's bedroom.

"San? Rachel? Where are you?"

Quinn was cut off by a fierce glare from Santana who was crabling Rachel against her chest. But the damage was done because seconds later, Rachel turned her face towards them and squinted her bleary eyes as she tried to focus on the blurry figures before her.

"Hm? Whatchamooming?"

Both Quinn and Santana turned to Rachel, unable to make sense of Rachel's sleepy, jumbled words but Brittany gave a soft giggle. They had no idea what she was asking, let alone how to answer the question but Santana was too busy giving a half-hearted glare to Quinn.

"Q Ball! She _just_ fell asleep!"

In the few seconds it had taken Quinn and Brittany to get upstairs, Rachel had managed to fall asleep. It was something pregnancy had started. She could fall into a deep sleep quickly. It was as if her body just let her close her eyes and enter deep sleep. But she always woke up so confused.

Now she was staring around the room, her eyes forced open as she tried to keep herself awake. She yawned and blinked several times.

"Amma'ake. I notn't sleeping," Rachel muttered but her words came out horribly because the second she opened her mouth to speak, she began yarning and couldn't stop. Her entire body moved with the yawn as she began stretching out against Santana who had to move quickly to dodge the hands flying every-which-way. But she didn't seem to mind too much.

Quinn couldn't help but giggle at the adorable look on Rachel's face as she tried to talk while yawning and the look on her face as she tried to convince Santana that she hadn't been sleeping at all when it was clear in the way she was blinking her eyes that she had in fact been deeply sleeping.

"Sure you weren't, Rach. Look who's here," Santana pointed to Quinn and Brittany who both smiled and waved to Rachel who gave them a sleepy grin as she yawned and stretched out her arms and legs before curling into Santana's protective embrace. Quinn found herself wishing briefly that Santana was holding her and Britt like that too but she ignored the thought.

"Hi Quinn," Rachel muttered sleepily as she forced her eyes open and attempted to speak mid-yawn… Only for her words to come out sounding like 'I win'. "Hey, Britt."

"Rachie! I was so worried about you!"

Quinn walked over to Santana's desk to set the packages down and when she heard Brittany begin to talk, she grinned happily; especially when she turned around and saw Brittany crawling onto the bed between Rachel and Santana, pulled both girls into a brief embrace before she turned her attention towards Rachel who seemed a little more awake and was grinning widely at Brittany.

Brittany was eyeing Rachel and clearly trying to see what was wrong without asking.

"I'm fine, Britt. It's just a sprained ankle."

"Oh, do you want me to kiss it better, Rachie?"

Everyone in the room blushed at Brittany's words and once again, she shrugged as if to tell them to deal with it cause she wasn't going to take it back. But Quinn was more worried about…

"What happened?"

"I fell down the stairs last night," Rachel explained with a frown as she nuzzled Brittany's shoulder. Brittany beamed happily as she pulled Rachel closer and looked up to Quinn with a smug 'I told you so' expression on her face. With a sigh, Quinn sat down and turned to face Santana who was watching her girlfriend and Brittany cuddling with a nonchalant expression on her face.

If anything, she seemed to be at ease over Rachel's calmness and how comfortable she was… Maybe that's why she was okay with Rachel and Brittany cuddling so much more intimately than they usually did. It was odd because Santana was always quite possessive but she barely blinked towards this.

Perhaps it was because Rachel was clearly at ease after what had to have been a long and rough night. There was a voice in her head that told her there was more to it than that but that voice was filled with the potentially false hope that would most likely just leave her feeling disappointed and embassed if she was wrong.

"She got hungry," Santana explained and as if reacting to the word 'hungry' Rachel's stomach let out a loud growl that even Quinn hear from across the room. "I think she's still hungry."

"I'm sorry, San. I'm craving bacon so bad, I think I can even _smell_ it."

"Oh, that's cause I brought Baconators," Quinn supplied holding the bag up for everyone to see. "I thought you might be hungry and maybe wouldn't feel like cooking, so I brought food for you guys."

"Quinn, have I mentioned that I love you?" Rachel cried as she took one of the burgers and stared at it adoringly before she looked into Quinn's eyes with equal adoration and happiness.

Tingled went up and down Quinn's spine as her heart swelled under the gaze.

"So, that's the key to your heart huh?" Santana quipped as Quinn blushed brilliantly. "Bacon?"

"This, right here, has to be the most beautiful burger I've ever seen in my life, it's almost a pity to eat it…" However, when Rachel's stomach growled louder this time, Rachel gave a small laugh before shrugging. "And yet somehow I'll get over it."

"You know, I find Carvivore Rachel very amusing," Santana said as she accepted her own burger with a wink in Quinn's direction, just to see the blonde blush a little redder. And smiling as she succeeded in making her blush almost scarlet. The butterflies in her stomach were in overkill from the gazes she was getting from these three girls.

Were they _trying_ to kill her? Because if they kept this up, they were going to succeed in turning her into a pile of mush before her heart finally gave out from all the frantic beating it was doing.

"Mine's the one with no pickles," Brittany called out, grabbing the burger with the slip of paper attached and began unwrapping it.

"How are you feeling now?"

Once the burgers were gone, Brittany had gone back to holding Rachel in her arms, with their foreheads pressed gently together. Santana was now spooning Brittany from behind and Quinn was spooning Rachel. As usual, Quinn and Santana were on the outside, as though protecting their girls from outside forces but this time, their fingers were intertwined.

It was an embrace between the four girls that put them all at ease and made them all feel secure. It was almost enough to make Rachel forget about the constant throbbing in her ankle. It wasn't hurting so much as it was giving an annoying throb which just bordered on the edge of painful… It was the feeling of her ankle swelling and inflating that was the most prominent. It got on her nerves more than anything.

The girls all snuggled into the brace, no one caring why or how they had managed to get itno their current position because it felt so good to just hold each other. It was just something that happened. But nobody was complaining about it.

It felt so right.

"I'm tired, sore and I just want these cuddles to keep going."

"Sure thing, Rachie," Brittany chirped, planting a kiss between Rachel's eyes, making the diva blush scarlet as butterflies began swimming around her stomach. "Go to sleep and we'll all be here when you wake up, right Quinnie…"

Quinn nodded and sleepily nuzzled into Rachel's hair as she fell asleep. Within moments, Brittany and Rachel had fallen asleep as well.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

"San? San? I need your help!"

These were the words that woke Quinn up but it was Rachel's squirming that brought her into full awareness. There was a desperate edge to her voice and the diva was moving around like she had ants in her pants.

"Whassup, Rachel?"

It was hard not to laugh at Santana's sleepy question but her eyes seemed to widen at the look on Rachel's face and she leapt into action, waking Brittany up and moving her out of the way so she could collect Rachel into her arms and rush her to the bathroom, leaving a bleary-eyed Brittany and a slightly worried Quinn.

So Quinn stood up and followed after the pair, giving a light knock on the door which was closed.

"Just second, Rachel needed the bathroom."

Feeling a bit dumb now, Quinn sat down on the bed with Brittany and snuggled her close, remembering when she was pregnant how often she had to use the bathroom. It was pretty much every five minutes… Or it sure felt like it was. Was it possible that she spent the entire nine months of the toilet?

When the two Brunets returned from the bathroom and Rachel was situated on the bed, she immediately curled up beside Quinn into Brittany's arms. Quinn did her hardest not to blush… She did but she failed.

When Santana cleared her throat, Rachel and the blondes both looked up to her. Rachel grinned up at Santana while Brittany and Quinn looked at her nervously because there was a hint of hesitation and apprehension in her eyes that was uncommon in the latina.

"Kay, so I think its time we have some words now. Hear what we have to say before you judge us, okay?"

Despite her confident words, there was still nervous reluctance in her eyes.

"Alright, what's up?"

When Quinn asked her question, Santana's bravado fell and she looked hesitantly to Rachel as she began to visibly squirm.

This was enough to make Quinn very nervous about whatever Santana was about to say.

However, Rachel grinned from her spot befoe she crawled into Santana's lap and kissed her cheek before turning to the nervous blondes.

"What Santana is trying to say is… we like you?"

At first, excitement swelled in Quinn's belly but then she realised, there was no possible way Rachel meant what she thought she meant. No, that would be too good to be true. So, instead, she chose a different way to find out, not caring if she came off as stupid.

"We like you, too, Rachel."

"Really?!"

Rachel's eyes went wide with joy, shock, joy and happiness that made Quinn wonder if her first guess about Rachel's words might have actually been right because the diva looked like she had just been handed a billion dollars and a Tony.

In that moment, it was impossible to picture this was the girl who still had nightly nightmares and frequent panic attacks because her smile went above a thousand watts and lit up the entire room. It was enough to make Quinn's heart feel like it was about to explode.

"Of course, you're our best friends."

"No, Quinn," Santana began awkwardly, once again, nervously twiddling with a lock of Rachel's hair. It was unnerving to see Santana nervous because she was always so composed. "What Rachel's saying is…"

"They want to have sweet lady kisses and sexy times with us!"

"Britt!"

That was all Quinn could say at Brittany's declaration because once again, Brittany didn't fliter her words and Quinn was terrified she had overstepped a boundry.

"Actually… yes."

Now it was Quinn's turned to stare shocked as her entire body swelled with joy, excitment and happiness; she couldn't believe this was happening. This was…

_Wait, Fabray. Calm your tits and see what they say before you start humping her like a chihuahua and Santana murders you._

"... But its more than just sexual. We… feel a connection with you. And I can't speak for San but _I _want to be involved with you both and get to know you on an intimate level. Me, you, Britt and Santana."

"And look, if you're not down for that, let us know now and we'll pretend this conversation never happened. Nothing will change. We'll respect your feelings."

Quinn looked at Britt and received an encouraging nod; this was the chance to make their own feelings towards the brunettes known. So she took a deep breath…

"And if we are?"

Rachel and Santana's eyes started glowing with hope, joy, and semi-guarded affection.

"Well, we'd see where it goes… Like any new relationship, we'd date, get to know one another on an intimate level and… It'd be like any other romantic relationship but with four instead of two," Rachel explained.

"So… the four of us would be together?" Quinn asked, looking for clarification so she could be 100% sure because she wanted to date all four of these girls. "As in… I could kiss any of you, whenever?"

"Yeah," Santana said, a sexy smirk appearing on her lips as she looked deep into Quinn's eyes. "Kiss us. Hug us. Fuck us…"

"San!"

Santana laughed as Rachel playfully swatted her arm.

"I'm just saying, not everything we do would be together. Quinn, maybe you and I would watch a horror movie while Rachel and Britt might read Harry Potter to each other. Or you and Rachel might make out while Britt and I shower?"

"Would the four of us have sexy times together?"

Brittany, Rachel and Quinn all turned to look at Santana who grinned suggestively at them as though expecting them all to rip off their clothes… Not that she was expecting it. Quinn couldn't ignore the way her body heated under the gaze, especially considering Brittany's question.

"Yeah. It might be all four of us or two of us or… whatever. Heck, two of us might have sex while the other two watch… or shower… or whatever."

Quinn smiled contently and looked into Santana's warm brown eyes and this time, she didn't hide the affection in her eyes for the brunettes.

"Okay, I've been having feelings for you as well and… I want to move slow but this is something I'm interested in exploring," Quinn said before clutching Brittany's hand.

"Britt?"

Brittany glanced up at her name before she smirked widely.

"So… We can kiss them now?"

Quinn smiled at the way Brittany asked and blushed when Santana gave her a knowing grin when she realised that Quinn and Brittany had been speaking about feelings for them before.

"Erm… yes, Britt. We can kiss them now."

Brittany's face went bright as a grin took over her entire face as she looked back and forth between Santana and Rachel as though deciding who she wanted to kiss first. Finally, she grinning and crawled towards the eager pair and rested her hands on Rachel's shoulders while Santana watched with a lopsided grin.

"I'm gonna kiss you now, Rachie? Okay?"

Rachel gave a jerky nod as she felt Brittany cup her cheeks and soon, their lips were together. Quinn watched as their lips began moving and when they leaned back into Santana, her entire body seemed to react. And based on the way Santana's eyes widened, she was in full agreement.

"I guess they're done talking," Quinn said, her eyes not leaving the sight before her.

She didn't know what to say or do now. Rachel and Brittany were now making out on Santana's lap, hands roaming across each other's backs as they explored new and unexplored territory with each other.

She had always had a thing for Rachel and Santana if she was being completely honest with herself but now, she had no idea what to say or do. Was it okay for her to want to kiss Santana right then? Did Santana want to kiss her or was she agreeing to this to keep Rachel happy?

There were so many uncertainties around this relationship. This was not a relationship she had ever been exposed to as she had no idea what the norms were and what to expect. What was the right way to respond when two of your girlfriends are making out on your other girlfriend's lap?

The ache between her legs put a suggestion in her mind but… was that appropriate?

That couldn't be appropriate. Maybe when she got home but not right now.

"Mmm."

Santana's reply was simple as Rachel and Brittany positioned themselves so the were laying across her lap, still kissing each other passionately as only two people who have known each other forever could.

"This is so hot," Quinn blurted, blushing at how much she sounded like a horny teenage boy but by the look on Santana's face, she wasn't alone with her current line of thoughts.

But after a second, Santana snapped out of her trance and looked up to Quinn with a serious expression.

"It is but if we're going to be involved like this, we're going to need to talk about it… Cause this…" Santana pointed to Rachel and Brittany who were now changing positions so Brittany was on top of Rachel as they kissed a little more aggressively "... is not intended to be a one-time thing. If we're going to try this, we're going to do it right. There will be dates, cuddles and long talks and even more communication."

From their spot on Santana's lap, Rachel let out a loud moan that caused Santana's train of thought to die as her pupils dilated.

Both Quinn and Rachel met each other's gaze and red hot desire went through Quinn's body and by the look in Santana's eyes, she was thinking the same thing. It was a matter of who was going to speak up first and ask for it.

"San?"

"Hmm?"

"Kiss me. I need you to kiss me!"

"Well, you're going to need to come over and I will," Santana said.

The second Quinn was close enough, Santana grabbed the front of her shirt and let their lips crash together in a frenzy of passion and lust as their tongues began battling for dominance.

Kissing Santana was everything she imagined it would be. Her lips were warm, soft and she tasted wonderful. Her lips gloss tasted great and her perfume was a scent that was so uniquley Santana. As hands wound themselves into her hair, she let out a moan. Something about making out with Santana while Rachel and Brittany moaned underneath her was so beyond arousing that she almost didn't know what to do with herself.

She knew now was not the right time for them to think about having sex but that didn't mean that she wasn't extremely turned on by the whole experience. It was almost enough to bring her to orgasm without actually being touched. And when Santana moaned against her, she had what could only be described as a mini orgasm, causing her to moan even louder as her legs trembled for a second.

Santana shot her a knowing look before capturing her lips again.

It was the soft snores beneath them that made them break apart. Quinn knew her lips were about as swollen as Santana's but their attention was on Britt and Rachel.

Both girls were asleep, snuggled up close to each other, Brittany's head resting gently on Rachel's and her arms wrapped tightly around the brunette as though afraid she was going to disappear.

"I love seeing them cuddled up like that. Look how peaceful they are," Quinn sighed as Santana bent down to place a kiss on both girls' heads. They both responded by cuddling close to each other but the grins that appeared on their sleeping faces as Santana kissed them was enough to make both of their hearts melt.

"I know. After last night, I was worried she'd be restless."

"Was everything okay? With the baby?"

"Yeah, they did an ultrasound and the baby is developing fine and wasn't affected by the fall. She needs to do some blood work next week but aside from that, everything is fine. But Quinn… there's a baby in there!"

"Yes, San… That tends to happen…"

"... Shut it, Fabray," Santana replied with a grin as she leaned forward and nipped Quinn's lip, smiling as Quinn gave a tiny moan. "I mean… the baby is actually developing and it's pretty amazing."

"I love seeing you this passionate about this," Quinn murmured, lightly pressing her lips against Santana's, once again, savouring the feeling of being able to kiss Santana and the knowledge that she could kiss Santana, Rachel and Brittany now.

She tried to ignore the guilt that churned in her gut about the knowledge that she still wasn't ready to come out but the knowledge that these were her girls now was enough to make those thoughts all but disappear completely.

It was wonderful.

After a few gentle kisses, Quinn and Santana manoeuvred Brittany and Rachel so they both could lay down and go back to sleep with their girls. Santana made a point to kiss Quinn's knuckles before they drifted to sleep with Quinn spooning Rachel and Santana spooning Brittany.

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

When Rachel woke up sometime later, she could feel arms wrapped around her waist and hands delicately running through her hair. It wasn't Santana or Brittany because they were both sound asleep. Santana had her face buried in Brittany's hair and Brittany had turned in her sleep and had her face buried in Santana's chest.

Rachel turned around and found a pair of hazel eyes staring back with adoration as she watched Santana and Brittany sleep but when her eyes landed on Rachel, they lit up as she placed a kiss on her face. Rachel's face went pink for a second before she pulled herself closer to Quinn and wrapped her arms around her.

"I can't believe we're here… That this is happening," Quinn murmered as she gently ran her finger along Rachel's face.

"Me neither."

"I still think about the first time we kissed."

"Me too," Rachel sighed before she looked down at her hands sadly for a second. "I felt bad. I'm glad Santana feels the same. And Britt. And you."

"I love that we can all be together. That I don't need to deny my feelings for any of you."

"You know, Quinn, I think the four of us were meant to be together because it feels right when we're all together," Rachel explained as she looked into Quinn's hazel eyes with a smile on her face.

"It does. It feels complete because we all bring different things to the relationship."

"Are you okay with everything…" Rachel paused long enough to point to her swollen belly. "... Everything I bring to the relationship."

"I'm fine. I'll admit, I'm confused about the role I'll play but it's not a problem. I have feelings for you and I know this baby will be an important part of your life… The rest, we can figure out together because I plan to have an active role in your life and San's and Britt's."

"You do?"

"I'll admit, it'll take us time to figure this relationship out… the ins and outs but yes. I plan to stick around."

Quinn gently cupped Rachel's cheek as she spoke and the honesty in her eyes was visible. She meant every word she was saying.

"Good."

That was all Rachel could say before they slowly came together for a sweet kiss. Unlike the last time they kissed, this kiss was filled with emotion and promise of a future together… Whatever that future may be. It wasn't filled with curiosity and apprehension because now both girls knew what they wanted and what they needed.

This was their first kiss as girlfriends, not just two girls anxiously trying to figure their sexuality out. They were now two girls… no, women expressing their feelings for each other with tender kisses and warm embraces. Gone was the uncertainties and in their place was butterflies, warmth and affection towards each other and now their other girlfriends. It was a wonderful thing and Rachel was so happy to call Quinn one of her girlfriends.

"How do you feel?"

The blush in Rachel's cheek told Quinn that she needed something. The squirming spoke volumes too.

"Honestly, I need the bathroom so…" Upon seeing Santana was still asleep, it was clear she was going to suggest going by herself. "I'm just going to…"

"Nope. San said your feet aren't to touch the ground today. So we can either wake her or I can take you."

"She was up all night with me, she needs rest. Are you sure you're okay to carry me?"

"Puh-lease. I throw girls who weigh more than you on a daily bases! I have pillows that weigh more than you. I got you. But you're going to need to tell me what she does."

Once Rachel was lifted up and they were walking, Rachel thought for a minute before grinning… Unaware that Santana had waken up and was listening to the exchange.

"She helps me take my pants up and down."

"Okay."

"Than she sings and does backflips to keep me entertained."

"Yeah, okay, sure."

"I'm serious!" Rachel's uncontrollable giggles, unfortunately, sell-out how serious she isn't.

"And is this before or after the striptease?"

"During. She strips while she's doing the flip."

"God, is it wrong that I'm visualising this in my head?"

"Not really, I'm picturing her doing the striptease while standing on the edge of the tub… I'm done."

Quinn stood up from where she was leaned up against the wall and helped Rachel bring her pants up which was easier said than done because it was not easy. It didn't help that was completely unwilling to let Rachel's bad ankle touch the ground for a second. Santana was the same and she appreciated it but she felt bad that Quinn was going to so much just so she could pee.

"Okay, feeling better?"

"Yeah, you can take me to bed now?"

"With pleasure, Rachel."

The wiggle in her brows was very suggestive. Rachel's face went redder as she clued into exactly what Quinn was saying and she'd be lying if she said the idea of Quinn _taking her to bed_ didn't turn her on.

But the relationship between them was too new and she wanted to make it clear to them that it wasn't just about sex. She wanted Quinn and Brittany to know this relationship was about the four of them bonding as a unit and developing feelings. It wasn't about just having sex with them.

And body reactions aside, she had no idea how she was going to react to sex with them.

It was important that they ease into it the way she did with Santana and she wanted to make sure Brittany was eased into it as well. She wanted to make sure they were both comfortable.

"Yeah, okay, Quinn."

Quinn set Rachel on the bed and began tucking her in as she wrapped her arms around Santana.

"Are you hungry, Rachel? I can get you something to eat."

"No, Quinn. I'm fine."

"Well, I'm going to go get us all some juice."

"Quinn, wait!"

Quinn whipped around and her wide eyes bored into Rachel as she looked her tiniest girlfriend over for signs of pain, illness, hunger, fear or sadness.

"Kiss?"

"Okay, Rachel."

Once again, Quinn's lips were on Rachel's and their lips began moving together.

"What about me?"

Quinn and Rachel turned to find Santana watching them with a sly grin on her face as she watched her two girlfriends making out in front of her. It was clearly something she was enjoying.

Quinn grinned and leaned over Rachel, capturing Santana's lips, effectively burying Rachel with her chest. As Santana and Quinn's kiss deepened, Rachel was torn between telling Quinn she couldn't breathe or just enjoying the feeling of her firm breasts against her face.

"Quinnie, how is Rachel supposed to breathe with your boobs in her face?"

Both Quinn and Santana separated at Brittany's innocent question as they both glance down at the red-faced, grinning Rachel Berry.

"Sorry, Rachel."

"It's fine, Quinn… Really. It's 100% fine!"

And it was. Nothing beat the feeling of Quinn's breasts against her face like that. That was something she never experienced before and it was something she hoped would happen more in the future. But with more skin and fewer clothes.

"Listen to that Quinn!" Santana huffed out as though she was offended by what she was hearing. "Our girlfriend is such a perv!"

"I know, right!"

"You think that's sexy, Rachel? Wait until you feel her boobs against your face without a top!"

Everyone in the room blushed at Brittany's words as they no doubt began visualising this very scene in their minds.

"Britt…"

"That's so hot!"

"Rachel!"

"Oh don't start, Santana Lopez! I see that smirk! That's your 'do me' smirk!"

Brittany and Quinn giggled as Santana attempted to look shocked by this but it was difficult with the sheepish girn that kept creeping up on her traitorous lips.

"I do _not_ have a 'do me' smirk!"

"Yeah you do," Rachel giggled teasingly as she ran her fingers between Santana's breasts. "You always get this smirk on your face when we have sex… Especially when I'm about to top you… like that!"

The smirk that crossed Santana's face was obviously filled with lust but after a few seconds, it disappeared and faded to a look of love and contentment as Rachel wrapped her arms around her front and Brittany spooned her from behind.

"Come on, Quinn. Crawl in bed with us!"

"But our juice?"

"Okay but hurry. We want to snuggle!"

**So, two has become four. I'm excited about this story and the direction it is heading. **

**Happy Thanksgiving to all my fellow Canadians! Enjoy your holiday. **

**I hope you guys are enjoying the story. This pairing unit was a new idea and recently added to the story, this is my first time exploring a romantic dynamic like this so please let me know what you think in chapters to come. **


	18. Not So Calm Before The Storm

**I am SO sorry about the long time it took to update, so much has happened these past few weeks. I met Dan Fogler and got a photo with him at Hal-Con and I got sick but those are excuses. **

**I got most of this chapter written last weekend but work has been crazy and with the release of Sims 4 Discovering University, I have been tied up tightly. This chapter is pretty short but I wanted to publish something if anything to make it clear that it hasn't been abandoned. **

**There is a heated scene in this chapter but not overly graphic. Also, there is some homophobic slur. **

**Rating: T+ (mostly) **

**Warnings: Homophobic language**

Two days.

Two beautiful, glorious days had passed since they all shared their feelings for each other and the girls were in bliss. They were in paradise.

The time spent together hadn't changed by much. The only change being shared kisses and flirty banter shared among all of them. Everyone was completely open about their feelings and nothing was left unsaid. If someone wanted a kiss, they asked for it. If someone wanted cuddles, they asked for it.

And there were plenty of cuddles.

The four girls would cuddle up and talk, whisper and share kisses as the sun fell and it was so much more wonderful than anything they had ever shared.

For Rachel, it was such a wonderful feeling to have her girls in her arms and to know she could now give and receive affection and kisses from any of them.

And they all offered so many different things with their kisses.

Brittany kissed her softly and sweetly while looking into her eyes as though she could read her soul. She always knew when Rachel needed to stop and Rachel knew how to recognise Brittany's cues too. With Brittany, it was like kissing someone she had kissed a million times and would hopefully kiss a million more.

Quinn's kisses were sweet and she always cupped the back of her head or held her close to her body in a way made her feel both turned on and safe. Quinn was always kissing around her face and if that wasn't wonderful, it was even more wonderful watching her do it with Brittany or Santana. Quinn liked to whisper into their ears and tell them how wonderful they were and how much she loved being around them and holding them.

Finally, there was Santana. Santana's kisses with Rachel and Brittany were soft and sweet when needed and sometimes a little quicker but with Quinn, their kisses were a little bit rougher sometimes in a way they couldn't be with Rachel and Brittany. Sure, Rachel would sometimes push her against a wall and Brittany would straddle her and hold her hands above her head but with Quinn and Santana, they could sneak up on each other and attack each other with kisses.

Santana's favourite arrangement was having Rachel and Brittany making out in her lap while she and Quinn both kissed up and down their necks as they made out.

This is the position that they were in, despite the fact that Quinn and Santana were in the middle of getting ready to go to the movies.

It was agreed that it was a good idea for them to work on their individual relationships as well as their collective relationship so Quinn and Santana decided they wanted to bond over a horror movie and that Brittany and Rachel would read Harry Potter together while they were at the movie.

"I think I want to go read at the Lima Bean, Rachel. I love their caramel hot chocolate."

Rachel smiled up to Brittany and nodded as she held up a copy of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's stone.

"Sounds good. Philosopher's Stone?"

"Yeah; it's been forever since we read together," Brittany smiled softly as she kissed Rachel's forehead.

"San, can you drop us at the Lima Bean on your way to the theatre?"

"Sure thing. We'll pick you up when we're done. Are you two sure you don't want to come to the theatre with us?"

"Isn't that movie so scary that if you can sit through the entire thing without screaming or leaving, they give you free passes for a month?"

Santana nodded with a smirk on her face, knowing neither of their vulnerable girlfriends would ever agree to see such a movie.

"Yeah," Santana teased, earning a small snort from Quinn who was resting her chin on her shoulder and holding the keys to the car in her hand. "But increase the odds…"

"Of us never sleeping again," Rachel supplied with a smirk.

Quinn stood up and made her way over to Rachel and Brittany and placed kisses on the sides of their faces before she pulled them to their feet.

The drive to the Lima Bean was long and painful for Santana because Rachel and Brittany we making out in the backseat and Quinn wasn't helping either because she was back there with them whispering flirtatiously and earning her flirty giggles. Santana couldn't hear what any of them were saying but the tone was extremely suggestive and it was driving her crazy. She was half tempted to turn the car around and return to their previous activities…

"Okay, so we'll be back in a few hours. Call us if you need us."

Quinn's words brought Santana back to reality and they were sitting in front of the Lima Bean which was pretty empty but that could be because a lot of the teens from school would carpool to Columbus for weekend shopping because there weren't any good shops in Lima. It was a pretty common thing and that meant The Lima Bean was a quiet place for Rachel and Brittany to hang out without too many people surrounding them but it was enough to get them out of the house.

"Or you can always come with us?"

"No, we're fine here with Harry Potter," Rachel replied, kissing Santana soundly before making her way to do the same to Quinn.

"You two don't really like Harry Potter, so we can do his while you watch the movie," Brittany answered back with a grin as she also kissed their girlfriends, making a point to grab both of their butts in their seats. It was as though she was trying to convince them to go back home. Santana almost did that but then she remembered she had already paid for her and Quinn's movie tickets. "And we really, really hate horror movies."

"But you know…" Rachel started slowly and with hesitation as she tried to come up with the best way to word her next question. Her brows creased thoughtfully as she looked at her smiling girlfriends. "I was thinking we could all get together this weekend for a date."

"A date with the four of us?"

Quinn's eyes were filled with intrigue and apprehension as she asked about the date.

"Oh, I love dates. Quinnie and I went to the lake once. We were all alone, so we kissed the entire time."

"Maybe dinner and a movie in my basement?"

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

Quinn should have been worried about what she was doing. She should have. But it was hard to care because as the sounds of the movie and people screaming surrounded her, all she cared about was the pair of Latina lips against hers and the pair of hands running up her bare back under her shirt.

It probably wasn't the wisest thing she had ever done in her life but she didn't care. How the kiss even began was a mystery. One second the movie into was going and then… her lips found Santana's and they hadn't seen a second of the movie.

It was a struggle to keep herself from moaning as Santana's hands roamed her back and she had to keep herself from leaving Santana's shirt and going into her pants to cup her bare butt… more than once. Not that Santana had objected to it. She moaned loudly into Quinn's mouth.

"We s-s-should watch the movie."

It was hard not to chuckle at Santana who made no effort to stop the kisses as she spoke. In fact, she seemed to deepen the kiss further after speaking as though making up for the time lost while she was talking.

The kisses were about as deep as they could be without one of them climbing onto the other's lap and that could not happen because they probably would not stop at just hungry kisses.

Quinn was ready to go further.

She had been for a while. The only reason she and Brittany hadn't done it on their own yet was because of how hard it was for them to get time alone when they could do it when Brittany was calm. Last week would have been a brilliant time for them to do it but her period had to go and ruin that for them.

They had it all planned out but then she went to the bathroom and there it was. Mocking her. It was like her body was playing an evil joke on her.

Now, they were a… unit… of four and the dynamic had changed.

"I prefer this."

"Mmm…"

The kisses kept going, getting deeper and deeper.

Until Santana's phone began ringing, earning the could glares as Santana grabbed Quinn's hand and pulled her from the room just in time to put the phone to her ear and accept the call.

"Hello, baby… What!?"

Quinn jumped at the shrill sound of Santana's voice. It sounded as though she was startled and it wasn't something she was used to hearing. "Okay… ten minutes, sweetie."

"San?"

"We need to go. Our girls need us. We can finish our… discussion… once our girls are safe in our arms."

* * * EARLIER * * *

The Harry Potter book lay deserted on the floor, about three inches from disappearing under the couch as it got nudged by the two oblivious girls. Neither girl was aware the book had even fallen, let alone about to vanish entirely. They had made it two chapters in when they found each other's lips and suddenly, they were more interested in each other. The book meant nothing to their word.

And they didn't care at the moment because they were too busy peppering each other's faces with light kisses, occasionally coming together to allow their tongues to dance rhythmically.

Rachel was presently nibbling on Brittany's bottom lip and Brittany and running her hands up Rachel's back and enjoying the freedom of knowing she could kiss her whenever she wanted. And Santana. And Quinn.

It was amazing.

Their drinks lay deserted on the table in front of them, probably ice cold and their jackets laid sprawled on the floor.

All that mattered was the joy passing through their bodies and the feeling of each other's soft warm lips. They kept it tasteful, however difficult it was and the pair enjoyed the simple feelings of young love and simply exploring each other in a brand new way.

It wasn't about sex, despite both girls being undeniably turned on. It was about sharing the moment together and gazing into each other's eyes.

It was weird, dating three women at times. It wasn't common and occasionally, she would have a moment of apprehension and slight anxiety that Santana was going to be upset but then she remembered that it was okay.

She wasn't stupid enough to believe that everything would be sunshine and daisies once their relationship got out. This was not a normal relationship and people in a town like Ohio were going to make their opinions known about their unorthodox 'behaviours.'

After all, they had things to say about Rachel and Santana being together, it was clear there were going to be opinions made about the four of them; people sticking their noses into their relationship under the pretence of religion. The hypocrisy was enough to give her whiplash.

As the girls kissed, people became less interested in their actions and more focused on their own meals and conversations. Only a select few were watching and they were mostly horny teenage boys 'admiring' the view.

Rachel was so focused on Brittany's soft lips that she completely lost touch with her surroundings.

That was until a loud bang brought Rachel back to reality while simultaneously making her feel like her heart was about to explode and stop at the same time as she accidentally bit down on Brittany's tongue, causing the blonde to yelp in pain as they both looked wildly around the room to find the source of the threat.

Rachel was having trouble forcing her mind to think clearly as her first impulse was to grab Brittany and run while her next impulse was to curl up under the table where it was safe and sound with Brittany safe in her arms.

Her heart was drumming painfully in her chest and her entire body was buzzing with adrenaline like electricity.

It wasn't until her eyes fell upon Finn's furious father that her stomach did multiple summersaults under the scrutinizing gaze of the man. His look held nothing but disdain and disgust.

The man was looking at them as though they were the vilest things he had ever encountered and his eyes held anger that made Rachel squirm.

"I knew you were nothing more than a pair of filthy dykes when you put my son in jail but I'm putting my foot down to this disgusting display of blasphemy!"

If she wasn't so scared, Rachel would have rolled her eyes as the idiotic man went on about their 'sinful behaviour in a public place where children could see'. He was going on as though he had walked in on them 69ing on the table instead of the perfectly innocent kisses they were sharing. There was a couple over at the next table seconds away from dry humping each other and here was this man, having a fit over them.

"Sir, we're going to have to ask you to leave them alone or please leave."

Mr Hudson turned around to face the waitress with a glare which resembled a three-year-old taking a dump in the corner after being told to use the potty… It was completely unintimidating to everyone but Rachel and Brittany who were clutching onto each other so tightly that their knuckles were turning white.

Several patrons had stopped eating to stare at the tall man who was screaming at the petrified couples. Everyone stood motionless, unable to believe what they were witnessing; especially the hateful words coming out of his mouth as he told the girls about the inferno waiting in hell for them.

Some had gotten up and left, others had made their way up to the counter to complain and a couple were speaking frantically as they eyed the scene cautiously.

"Look, I'm just having a friendly discussion with these 'ladies' about their behaviour in public and…"

"Friendly? You consider that friendly! Friendly discussions don't leave people trembling and petrified!"

"Did you see what they were doing?"

"Yes."

"And that's okay with you? How can you stand by and allow them into your establishment, behaving so shamefully while my son sits in prison under false rape charges against these _whores?_"

The waitress eyed the girls and she eyes them slowly for a second. It made sense. She had seen them and observed them over time and she had seen how skittish and nervous they could be and as she looked them in the eyes, she nodded to them before turning to face the now very red-faced man with a glare of her own.

"Listen here, you will turn around and you will leave this establishment now. You are not welcome here, sir."

"You can't do that!"

"She can't… But I can!"

This time, the voice came from a tall, muscular man in a suit who was eyeing Mr Hudson with a glare that left the man ready to wet himself. But stupid is as stupid does and the foolish man decided to stand his ground, as hesitant and nervous as he sounded.

"And who do you think you are?"

The foolish man-child glared at the professional-looking man with contempt and foolishly puffed out his chest as though to display his ability to take this man who was easily twice his size.

The display was pathetic and made him look like a fool but the man in the suit simply raised a brow, cracked an oversized muscle and puffed out his own chest, making himself look a lot bigger and intimidating than the idiotic man.

"The owner of this establishment and as of two minutes ago, the man about to have you arrested for trespassing, please leave my property and do not return!"

Mr Hudson looked at the man and back to the waitress before he stalked away, making sure to immaturely kick the table Rachel and Brittany were sitting at, causing Rachel to jump into Brittany's lap as her fear began to overwhelm her and the need to hold onto something was overpowering her common sense. There were too many angry masculine voices and Rachel couldn't think clearly over them. The only thing keeping her together was Brittany's arms around her. Brittany's firm embrace.

Brittany was much handling herself much better than Rachel who was doing her best to try and keep it together but was having trouble. Her anxiety was getting the better of her and it was too much, with the voices surrounding her and all of the movement. She just needed it to stop.

She felt Brittany move away from her and her gut instinct was to curl into herself but a hand slipping into her clenched hand and pulled her to her shaky feet. Before she could fall, a hand slipped around her waist, keeping her up as she was guided away from the dining room and into a quiet room.

Once again, they were sitting and Rachel was curled back into Brittany's warm embrace. She felt Brittany rub her back gently until her mind finally cleared and she was able to focus more on her environment.

"We're fine, Rachie, see," Brittany whispered as Rachel began rubbing her belly as the baby began fluttering lightly, assuring Rachel a little more that everything was fine.

"I'm sorry Brittany."

"It's okay. You're scared. I am too."

"How are you keeping it together so well?"

"Because I feel better when I hold you. Cuddling you, San or Quinn makes me feel safe and warm and that makes me feel less scared," Brittany whispered into Rachel's hair and Rachel purred slightly as she nuzzled closer to Brittany who was holding her tightly, relishing in the security of being in her girlfriend's arms.

"Mmm, that sounds great… Can we just stay here forever?"

"Whatever you want but we might have to leave once and a while for the toilet and school."

The two girls held onto each other tightly as they could, just listen to each other softly breathing. It was a serene silence that brought both girls slowly to peace. All staff in the cafe had been told to go elsewhere for their breaks while Rachel and Brittany comforted each other, giving them peace, quiet and privacy.

It was clear the owner was feeling guilty for allowing that man to verbally assault Rachel not once but twice in her restaurant and was doing everything he could to make sure they were comfortable.

When Santana and Quinn finally arrived, they wasted no time in wrapping their arms around their girls who were still nervous but much better than they had been. Their tears had dried and they were simply sitting and enjoying the silence.

"What happened?"

Quinn's words broke the silence and Santana looked at her nervously.

"Finn's father came back. He had a lot to say to us when he saw us kissing," Brittany said with a frown as she kissed Rachel softly.

"Okay, I'm going to go kill the bastard," Santana growled out as she wrapped her arms around Brittany and Rachel tighter.

"I'll help," Quinn stated as she kissed both of their foreheads.

"Well, how about we stay here and cuddle instead… You're less likely to go to jail for that.

Of course, Santana and Quinn agreed. It was near impossible for them to say no to Rachel and Brittany. It was safe to say they had both of the HBICs wrapped securely around their fingers.

"What do you say we go back to mine and turn this into a movie night and cuddle session?"

They went out to the car, after Santana slipped a large tip to the owner who tried to refuse but Santana stubbornly shoved it into his hand and told him to split it amongst the staff.

Once they were in the car, Santana looked into the back seat where Rachel and Brittany were both curled against Quinn who was massaging their scalps and smiling broadly at Santana.

"How was the movie?"

Rachel's question broke the bliss silence and all Santana could do was snort.

"Hell if I know! We made out through the entire thing. I barely remember the name of the damn movie!"

Quinn chuckled at the memory, blushing lightly as she shared a glance with Santana. It was a suggestive glance that caused them to miss the look Rachel and Brittany were now exchanging. A devious look.

"Without us!" Brittany cried in mock offence. "Did you at least take photos?"

"Or videos?" Rachel continued, playing along.

"Multiple videos."

"Especially for when we're alone and need a release," Rachel finished with a smirk as Santana had to force herself to focus on the road as images began flooding her mind.

"San… I think they're trying to turn us on," Quinn teased, as though they were being remotely subtle.

"We are," Rachel winked.

"You know, I was thinking about our first time together… With the four of us. I think we're ready to process beyond kissing but I think we should take our time," Brittany said softly.

"I agree."

Rachel grinned softly as she clutched Brittany's hand.

"Okay but what about sex in pairs. That sounds good as a group but Rachel's sex drive in astronomical right now. I'm not sure how well it would go if we were to slow down between the two of us."

"Well, that's why I said with the four of us. If you and Rachel have sex, that's fine. If Quinn and Rachel do, that's fine or if even you and Quinn but with the four of us, its something none of us are used to and I think we're going to need time to figure out how things will work and who will go where and what we all like."

"So fooling around until we figure out what works best?"

"Yes!"

"That works because Rachel would probably burst into flames if we stopped."

"Hey! My drive isn't _that_ high!"

"Rachel, do you not remember waking me at two in the morning so I could eat you out?" Santana chuckled when Rachel blushed profusely. "I'm not complaining but your sex drive is really high."

They made it home and straight to Santana's room where a pattern of skillfully ignoring the movie playing began to form. But then again, she hadn't even looked at the title she picked on Netflix because she was distracted by the sight of Rachel and Brittany in a heated make-out session on the bed.

She made her way over to the bed and beckoned Quinn over to her.

Soon, kisses were being thrown everywhere, body parts tangled and Rachel felt her body heating up as the felt a thigh under her core. Without thinking, she ground against it, basking in the pleasure shooting through her body as she sucked on Santana's tongue.

Hands were moving everywhere and she knew she was clutching one of Santana's covered breasts but she didn't know whose thigh she was humping.

By the time she realised she was about to orgasm, it was too late to try and stop it and everyone in the room stilled as she broke her kiss to loudly grunt out in pleasure as her body released its pleasure. Kisses were peppered against her face and neck as she slowly came down from the high.

She blinked as Santana and Quinn peppered her face while Brittany kissed her neck.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to…"

"Don't apologize, Rachel. That was so hot to see," Santana said as she cupped Rachel's blushing cheek.

"And hear," Brittany purred.

"And feel," Quinn said with a wink that made it clear whose thigh she had been humping. It then that Quinn finally took notice of the time and flushed redder. "I should probably take B home now. My curfews in a half hour and I drove her here."

"Okay. Text us when you get home; we'll make plans for our first date with the four of us."

"Sounds good, Rachel."

Once goodbyes were said, the four girls reluctantly broke apart, knowing they wouldn't leave at all if they didn't. But Brittany shot a knowing smirk to Rachel and Santana before she left.

"Have fun."

* * * LIMABREAK * * *

Santana was so good with her hands. It was almost sinful how good she was. It never ceased to amaze Rachel all the things Santana could do as she ran her hands along Rachel's barefoot.

One of the annoyances of pregnancy was the swollen ankles and sore feet. But without fail, every night, Santana rubbed her feet until Rachel was practically purring with relief. This was something that sometimes leads to sex and sometimes put Rachel to sleep.

Tonight, it seemed to be the latter which was fine because they had already had sex twice since their girlfriends had left… Once while on a very steamy call with Quinn and Brittany, result in all four girls getting off loudly.

Twenty minutes after the call disconnected, Rachel was laying back, naked and dozing off as Santana worked her magic while Santana smiled contently as the watched Rachel's eyes start to shut as sleep took over.

Santana sighed as she slowly tucked Rachel in and crawled in bed with her arms wrapped around her. She never got over how good it felt to press her naked body against her tiny diva's.

She sighed peacefully as she closed her eyes and began to drift asleep.

** Beep… be-beep… Beep **

Just like that, both Santana and Rachel were thrown out of their blissful moment and wide awake as they struggled to process that this wasn't the morning alarm but in fact the ringing of Santana's cell phone.

At first, it was Santana's mission to murder whoever was on the other line but when she saw Quinn's name, a smile crossed her face.

"Quinnie, Quinnie, Quinnie… Already ready to be naughty again," Santana teased but her grin was wiped off her face when the only sound she heard was the sound of Quinn choking on sobs.

"Quinnie, baby, what's wrong?"

Rachel sat up as quickly as her pregnant belly would allow as she turned to lean in so she could hear but it wasn't necessary because seconds later she heard Quinn's shaky voice.

"Can I come over? I know it's late but…"

"You know you can. You know where the key is, let yourself in and come up to my room. Rachel and I will be waiting. What happened?"

"I… I'll… I can't!"

"Can you drive? You know what, we're on the way, don't move! You're at home, right?"

After a few minutes of silence, Quinn spoke again.

"No, I'm at the neighbours. Please, hurry!" And with those words, all they could hear was Quinn breaking into choking sobs again.


	19. Storm

**Chapter Rating: M**

**Warnings: Mild violence, sexuality, polyamory **

**Spoilers to show: None**

Quinn Fabray grew up in a home where she was expected to grow up, marry a man and have children and raise them in the Christian faith and watch as they follow in her footsteps. It was what she was taught was right. It was what God expected of her. It was what her parents expected of her.

And that all went down the toilet when she got pregnant. She had had sex with Puck to prove something to herself, as unsure as she was about what it was, she had slept with him to prove to herself that she wasn't gay.

It hadn't worked. It took her a while to sort herself out and come to this conclusion but she was definitely very gay.

This went against everything her parents had raised her to believe was right and that made it hard to accept. She didn't want to accept this. But she felt better once she accepted herself.

Then there was her current relationship; it was 'common knowledge' that once you love and it's real, you can't fall in love with someone else. You should only have one partner and falling in love with more than one wasn't something that happened. But somehow, she still found herself falling in love with three women.

One woman went against everything she was raised to believe but _three_, that went completely into new territory.

It wasn't something she ever believed she could be involved in and now, she couldn't imagine not loving her girls. She couldn't imagine not being in a relationship with all three.

It hadn't taken her long to develop feelings for Rachel after their 'experiments' but she had been content with Brittany; she loved Brittany. The feelings for Rachel had never gone away, in fact with Santana's constant presence, she soon developed feelings for the gorgeous latina as well.

At first, her instinct was to deny her feelings because it felt so _wrong_ to want three women, especially with her strict Christian upbringing. Her mind was filled with guilt and shame until one day she realized if her feelings were wrong, God wouldn't have allowed her to be gay. God wouldn't have given her the capacity to fall for them and have them fall for her in turn.

But there was a lot about her relationship that made her nervous because despite her acceptance of her feelings, she knew her parents couldn't find out. Specifically, her father who had so begrudgingly accepted her back into the house after she had given Beth up. That relationship was strained as ever but it was never spoken about.

To her father, Beth was nothing more than a dirty secret to be hidden under the rug; a mistake to be learnt from.

He didn't know the nights Quinn spent crying over the loss of her child. He didn't care about the depression she went through within those first few months as she would reach to rub her belly or yearn to fell Beth move.

He certainly didn't know she was in contact with the baby whose existence he went out of his way to ignore.

That was something else he could never discover but that would be a slap on the wrist compared to discovering that not only was his daughter in a 'homosexual relationship' but a non-monogamous one as well.

For the past two days, she was careful; more careful than she was when she was just dating Brittany. She kept conversations limited and quick; simple things like hellos and goodbyes and letting them know if she was going to be late coming home.

As she made her way to Brittany's house, her lips still tingling and her body buzzing from the kisses and the touches. There was a damp spot on her thigh as a reminder of Rachel's pleasure and it only added to the fire in her veins.

All she could do was cross her legs and push as best she could to alleviate some of the pressure.

"We should do that again, Quinnie next time. I like hearing Rachel cum," Brittany sighed, making Quinn's centre throb more. "I can't wait to hear you and Sanny."

_She's trying to kill me._

"Me too," Quinn said quickly. "What do you think this date is going to involve?"

"I don't know. But it'll be good. Rachel is a huge romantic, so if she plans it, it will be great."

Once Brittany got safely inside, Quinn sped home. Neither of her parents' cars were in the garage so she races up to her room, wanting to take advantage of the empty house.

She didn't waste a single second in changing into her pjs, crawling into bed and sticking her hand in her pants.

She couldn't really get naked because her mother always poked her head in when she got home and she didn't want to be caught naked when that happened.

Images of the evening began flooding her mind as her fingers moved of their own accord as she had a group call with her girlfriends… a conversation that ended with a mind-blowing orgasm.

When she hung up though, she was still wet and still needed more so she began working herself again and because she was already sensitive, she felt herself climaxing faster.

Finally, as she got close…

BANG!

The bedroom door flew open with a crash and there was her red-faced Father glaring angrily in her direction.

He looked furious.

Angrier than when he found out Quinn was pregnant.

Angrier than Quinn had _ever_ seen him.

She drew her hands out of her pants and sat up, fear coursing through her veins. It was remarkable how fast the pleasure and desire left her system and was replaced with fear and worry because she felt like she was being stared down by an angry wolf about to devour its prey.

And her mother was standing behind him, trying to calm him down. She was frantically whispering for him to 'come to bed' and 'discuss this in the morning'. The man ignored her.

"Lucy Quinn Fabray!"

The words were slow and lethal. If she hadn't been so scared, she would have marveled at his ability to make every syllable shake with rage despite barely speaking above a whisper. .

Somehow, it was more terrifying than if he had come in screaming. Was this because she was touching herself? Had she been too loud? But they were home so early. She wasn't expecting them back home for another three hours. That should have been more than enough time to get herself off at least a couple of times.

"I want you to explain yourself _this instant!"_

When she opened her mouth, words failed her entirely. Only jumbles of words flew out of her throat which was constricting in fear and apprehension. Especially considering she had no idea what she had done to actually make her father _this_ angry.

"Explain _this!_"

This time, her father threw his phone at her, hitting her chest hard.

When she looked at the screen, the blood left her face entirely as her entire body went cold.

There on the phone was a picture of her and Santana kissing; their hands were up each other's shirts and it was clear in the photo both girls were very clearly enjoying themselves. There was no possible way to play this off as an innocent, platonic kiss on the cheek. They were very clearly kissing _and_ feeling each other up.

_Fuck! No! No! This wasn't happening, this couldn't be happening! He wasn't meant to find out. I had worked so hard to keep him from finding out. _

She didn't even know _what_ to say to her father because she was certain there wasn't a single thing she could say to make this better. There was no covering up what was happening in the photo. It was obvious. Too obvious.

"Imagine my surprise when I got a picture of my daughter kissing that filthy dyke! Explain yourself NOW!"

Quinn took a deep breath and braced herself.

She wasn't going to lie. What was the point? The evidence was right there and clearly, she was royally screwed either way…

But that didn't make this situation any less terrifying nor did it make her want to wet herself any less.

But she did the best to wipe the fear off of her face and look her father in the eyes with the best HBIC glare she could offer.

"Well, I was kissing my g-girlfriend!"

She knew the stutter would have gone unnoticed but she still wanted to smack herself for it happening

If possible, his face went redder and the anger made his eyes look like they were ready to bulge out of his head and this just made her feel like she was about to barf. But she did her best to hide it because she was going to hold her head up and not show her fears and she certainly wasn't going to let that man see her cry.

She would never let him see her that weak.

"Girlfriend! _Girlfriend!_"

"Russel, calm down!"

Quinn looked at her mother who was watching with wide eyes as Russell's face seemed to morph to a display of rage and anger that Quinn would have thought impossible. She wondered if the amount of rage would be too much for his body to handle because even his breaths were coming out erratically.

Quinn's mother, Judy, was torn between eyeing Quinn with a worried look in her eyes and eyeing her husband with terror. Why had she taken that man back if she was scared of him?

"How dare you? You are not some filthy little dyke!"

"You're right, I'm not! I'm a lesbian!"

"Quinnie, you don't mean that, tell you're father you don't…"

"Get out of my house!"

"Russel!"

"Get the fuck out of this house, Quinn and don't come back! Ten minutes!"

With those words, Russel dragged Judy out of the room, leaving Quinn to run trembling through her room grabbing her phone, charger, uniform, inhaler, medication, pictures of her and girlfriends and the emergency money she had been saving up since she returned through her summer job and guilt money from her mother claiming it was an 'allowance'. If wasn't much, only a couple thousand but it was more than she was willing to leave behind.

She made her way down the stairs with her backpack, duffle bag, and suitcase; her eyes were burning with tears that she knew were going to fall soon but she wasn't going to give Russel the satisfaction.

"Leave your keys. Car keys as well because that's _my_ car!"

_Fuck, how am I supposed to move these things to wherever I'm going?_

When her father held out his hand for the keys, she made a point to roughly shove them in, intentionally digging his hand with one of the keys.

He responded by lifting his hand and slapping her across the face hard enough that she almost fell to the ground.

"Russell!"

"Shut up, Judy! Get the fuck out of our home! You are not my daughter!"

Quinn tore out of the house with her bags. It only took a few steps towards her car before she remembered she couldn't bring the car. It wasn't 'her car'.

The neighbour was awake and hopefully would be nice enough that maybe she could wait inside while she figured things out. She pulled out her phone to check the time and… Her phone was dead. Maybe they'd let her charge her phone.

_Maybe if I hadn't been in such a rush to fuck myself, I'd have remembered to plug in my phone!_

She made her way next door and knock gently. After a few seconds, the door opened to reveal an older lady with a man her age standing behind her. The second they saw her crumpled face and her trembling lips, their faces went soft.

"Can I come in for a minute? I need to charge my phone so I can call my girlfriend to come and get me?"

"Oh, sure, dear! Come in! Come in! Ernie! Don't just stand there, get her bags and warm up some water for tea! I'm Ethal."

Quinn found herself ushered towards a couch beside a wall plug. As soon as she plugged her phone in, she dialed Santana's cell phone.

"Quinnie, Quinnie, Quinnie… Already ready to be naughty again?"

And that was it. The sound of Santana's voice was enough to break her completely and she broke into uncontrollable sobs. The chuckles on the other end-stopped and there was the briefest silence.

"Quinnie, baby, what's wrong?"

For a minute, all Quinn could do was sob and she ran her fingers over her stinging cheek and wince at the sensation.

"Can I come over? I know its late but…"

"You know you can. You know where the key is, let yourself in and come up to my room. Rachel and I will be waiting. What happened?"

"I… I'll… I can't!"

"Can you drive? You know what, we're on the way, don't move! You're at home, right?"

"No, I'm at the neighbours. Please, hurry!"

Quinn just broke down, sobbing too much to get another word in. It took about five minutes for her to be able to explain which neighbour's she was at because she was so upset.

"We need to get dressed and in the car, Rachel will call you and talk until we get there, okay?"

"Kay, San."

When she hung up the phone and set it down to charge until Rachel called back, she found Ethel was standing beside her with a box of kleenex extended to her.

"Was that your girlfriend? Is she coming?"

"One of them, they're on their way. Thank you for letting me stay in here… They're going to call once they're in the car."

"Oh, hush now. It is far too cold for a girl your age to be outside. Are you okay?"

"My father threw me out. He found out that I'm gay."

The woman look repulsed and angered when she heard this and at first, Quinn thought she was going to kick her out to for being gay until…

"What kind of adult kicks out their child for being gay? It's awful. And he calls himself a man of god? My sister is gay and she married a lovely woman last year in Toronto; such a beautiful wedding. But our parents, though didn't understand, accepted her regardless and any parent should always unconditionally accept their child for who they are."

"Thank you."

When Quinn's phone rang, she had more or less stopped sobbing but her throat still felt thick and her eyes were still watering. When she answered, she could hear the soft hum of Santana's car and the radio softly playing Santana's soft Spanish music.

"Quinnie? Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

The panic in Rachel's voice made Quinn's stomach sink with guilt as she realised how much she had worried her girlfriends.

"I'm fine, Rach, I just… I just need you guys," Quinn sobbed out, her tears filling her eyes faster and light sobs causing her body to tremble lightly. "But I promise, I'm fine. I'll explain when you get here."

"No, Quinn. We're going to get you to my house, get you into bed and safe and in the morning, we can talk."

"Quinn, do you want me to sing to you?"

Rachel whispered softly to Quinn until she hung up upon pulling into the driveway. Ethel let Rachel and Santana in and the second they stepped into the room, Quinn threw herself into their arms and sobbed loudly into Rachel's shoulder while Santana rubbed her back gently.

Rachel, who was very fragile, looked so concerned and so worried that it broke Quinn's heart but Santana looked worried too.

Worried enough that he tough exterior seemed to be blown entirely to pieces. She didn't look stern, angry or guarded. She just appeared worried and concerned

"Come on, Quinn, let's go," Rachel whispered while Santana tried to give Ethel some money which was rejected and shoved back into Santana's hand. The older lady, however, did whisper to Santana to treasure both girls because 'girls like that don't come around often.'

Rachel pulled Quinn into the backseat and laid her head down on her lap. The feeling of Rachel's fingers softly running through her hair was addictive and it slowed her tears. The smell of Rachel was enough to assure her that everything would be okay.

The only thing she wanted was to get to Santana's place so she could curl up between both girls. She wished Brittany was there too but she felt horrible enough for dragging Rachel and Santana out of bed so late at night to pick her up.

She wasn't going to do it to Brittany too.

When they pulled into Santana's house, Rachel pulled Quinn out of the car and gently guided her into the house and up the stairs where she immediately tucked the distraught girl into bed and curled up next to her. After a few minutes, Santana came into the room with three mugs of tea and wrapped her arm around Quinn and began sipping.

"Someone sent my dad a picture of us at the movies. He threw me out."

They said tomorrow but she needed to get it out now. She needed to tell them now.

Santana's face went red with rage.

"Excuse me while I go 'deal' with him."

"No!"

"San!"

"What?"

Quinn frowned at Santana who was positively shaking but she moved the rage from her face as she turned to face Quinn who was curled into Rachel's embrace.

"Let's not worry about him right now, San. Quinn needs us more," Rachel said as she pulled Santana closer until she was settled on the bed.

Quinn nuzzled Santana, sure it would keep her in the bed and away from Russell. When she felt Rachel's gaze on her cheek, she couldn't help but grin at the girl… Until she saw the concern and worry in Rachel's eyes.

"Why is your cheek so red, Quinn?"

Rachel lifted her hand and gently traced what Quinn knew was definitely a red handmark. Santana sat up as though the mattress had burnt her before she gently cupped Quinn's face before turning their girlfriend's face so she could see the mark for herself.

"Well, I said some stuff and he kind of…"

"He _hit_ you! He's never hit you before!" Santana cried out as rage began to fill her; the urge to _kill_ was not only resurfacing but about to boil over… Or it was until Rachel let out an involuntary whimper that sobered her immediately and brought her back to reality.

Rachel's anxiety couldn't handle Santana's rage and Quinn also looked ready to begin sobbing. It was too much for her to stay angry.

Quinn felt ashamed to have reacted like this to Santana's rage… It wasn't even directed at her but between her jumbled emotions, seeing Rachel so anxious and Santana's rage, her brain just didn't know how to emotionally react to everything. It was just too much at once.

Deciding to handle things one at a time, Quinn gently cradled Rachel's head to her chest. Before she knew it, Santana's arms slipped around her and Rachel as she began singing a lullaby Santana always sang when someone was upset. It was such a beautiful lulliby that came from her grandmother. She didn't know what the words meant but she knew Santana's grandmother had sung it to her when she was sick.

It was there in Santana's embrace as she gently spooned Rachel that she fell asleep.

When she woke up some time later, it took her a few minutes to register what had woken her. She was sleeping so restlessly, anyway; she barely felt like she had been asleep at all because her mind was working too frantically to actually relax. She was about to nuzzle back into Rachel's hair when she realised her smallest girlfriend was trembling and sobbing in her sleep.

"Rachel, wake up."

Quinn's whispers took a few seconds but eventually, Rachel began to respond. She stopped trembling as she began groggily twisting her head to locate what was waking her. When she turned to face finally opened her eyes, Quinn placed a soft kiss between her eyes and smiled while Rachel threw her arms around her.

Quinn felt her stomach give a happy jolt at the contact as she kissed the top of Rachel's head.

"Let's go wipe your face," Quinn whispered gently, kissing Rachel's forehead gently so not to wake Santana.

"There are wipes beside the bed… this happens a lot."

Quinn smiled gently smiled, feeling her stomach sink at her girlfriend's apologetic tone; she did not want her to be guilty about having a nightmare. She reached over and took a baby wipe which she used to wipe Rachel's face. Once the tears were gone, she kissed her cheeks and placed a soft kiss on her lips.

"Let's go back to sleep, okay?"

"Okay. Quinn? I'm sorry I woke you."

"I was barely asleep. But I think I'm ready to go to a proper sleep now," Quinn sighed, as she felt her eyes begin drooping as she finally began to feel tired enough to rest properly. "Now, let's snuggle back up to San before she wakes up."

Rachel pressed herself back into Santana's arms, pulling Quinn into her own arms. Neither aware that Santana had been awake and watching the entire thing.

"You know, this relationship… it feels… right."

"It does," Quinn agreed, feeling complete now what she had her three girls. Her girls.

"You're going to be alright, Quinn," Rachel sighed.

"I know I will. Because I have you, San and Britt."

"My fathers will let you stay here. They like you," Rachel promised as she felt Santana nuzzle into her hair and wrap her arms tightly around both of them. Quinn chuckled as Santana made a content sigh as she pulled both of her girls as close as she could.

"She's such a softie," Rachel sighed as she started to snuggle down for the night. Quinn watched as Rachel affectionately rubbed her belly and she felt her own urge to kiss Rachel's belly.

Rachel, who had every reason to reject her pregnancy was embracing it. Perhaps she wasn't over the moon about it but she was still handling it so much better than she had.

She looked at Rachel and she thought about her relationship with Beth. She saw Beth on weekends and some evenings because Shelby knew it was important for the little girl to bond with her biological mother.

Quinn was always so grateful for the chance to get to know the small child who looked up to her. And Shelby was honest to Beth and made a point to tell her exactly who Quinn was, even though she was too young to really understand.

It was clear that Beth would one day have questions and they would deal with them as they came up but for now, Quinn was there on her promised days to take Beth to the park, watch movies and play games.

When Beth was sick last month, Quinn still went and watched movies. She held her the entire time and sang to her when she cried, making sure to rub her belly the whole time. That was the day Shelby opened up and really began to trust Quinn because from that day on, she was a lot more relaxed and open to Quinn's presence.

Probably because she had seen Quinn stay there for Beth at her worst, throwing up, cranky and tired.

Recently, Shelby had been expressing her concern over Rachel's presence… or lack thereof. The woman knew _something_ was wrong but she knew Quinn wasn't going to tell her. It wasn't her place to tell Shelby.

But she was going to encourage Rachel to go and talk to the woman because she was getting worried and Beth was starting to miss her. She was asking for her because she knew Rachel was usually there with Quinn when she went over.

Both Beth and Shelby were confused. Beth more so because she wasn't old enough to really understand why Rachel had stopped coming around.

And Quinn knew seeing the small child could be good for Rachel. She decided as she drifted off to sleep for the night that she would bring it up with Rachel in the morning. For now, she just wanted the warmth of her girlfriends and tomorrow, they would fill Britt in on what happened.


End file.
